Wedding Dilemma--Am I Wrong??--Big update on pg. 3

[disneymac]

So glad your DH is back home with you safe and sound!

What a crazy story - his friend is incredibly immature! Some people just have a really hard time growing up, I guess. Your DH sounds as wonderful as mine!

 

[PaulaSue]

How right you are! Well I just talked with DH tonight and mentioned the perspective I've gotten from all of your posts here. Now the story has taken on an even more bizarre twist!

I told DH that there MUST be more to the story than what I was hearing and he finally admitted to me that there was. Apparently this "friend" booked the wedding at a couples only resort. Here's the problem. There's another (female) friend of his from college that he wanted to invite, but she doesn't have a date. So since his friend couldn't stay at the resort as a single, DH's "friend" decided that DH could be her date!!!! DH and this girl are expected to share a room It's supposed to be ok because the girl is gay. I don't care what she is, the point is that as his WIFE I am excluded from the wedding so he can act as some other woman's DATE!!! Not to mention that who wants to be roommates with someone (male or female) for an entire week that they don't even know???

Some Friend

 

[Laurabearz]

I think you should print out all these posts, wrap them up in lovely paper and send the gift with your regrets....

 

[LoraJ]

I think you should print out all these posts, wrap them up in lovely paper and send the gift with your regrets....

LOLOLOL!!! Yeah!


That guy sounds like a major scumbag. Even if the resort is couples only, if they were doing a wedding package, I don't know why they couldn't have worked it out for the single friend to go. Or why she couldn't have just brought a friend along. So odd. Many of the resorts in the Caribbean provide the weddings for free. They didn't have to go to a couples only one.

 

[twojo21]

that is weird. could it be a restriction by a resort he's getting married at ie 10 guests included in the package?

a spouse should always be invited to an event especially an oot wedding. what i would do is compromise. i would go on the trip & have a vacation with your dh i just wouldnt attend the friends wedding.

 

[Jynohn]

Thanks again for all your replies, I'm glad I know the whole story now, even if it's worse than what I originally thought!

DH told me that the "friend" is trying to "work something out" so I can go, although quite honestly I wouldn't attend now regardless. This guy obviously has no respect for marriage in general, especially ours, so I see no reason to go and celebrate his wedding with him. I love the comments about DH can probably be the best man at his next wedding!

I'm sad for DH because this guy has been his best friend since 3rd grade, and I think he's slowly coming to realize what kind of person he really is. To meet him you would never know he is like this, he's quite successful, polite, and well-spoken. It's just been over the past few years that I've started to see him for who he really is. DH didn't tell me about the friend's affair for a while either because he knew it would make me think less of him (he was right).

DH also quit drinking years ago and I think the friend resents me because DH isn't his "drinking buddy" anymore and he thinks it's my fault. The fact is that DH just grew up and got his priorities straight while the friend didn't. I think the friend had visions of the two of them living it up in the Carribean just like the old days. Wouldn't have been as much fun I guess with the old ball and chain along!

I do feel bad for his future wife, she seems like a nice girl and probably has no idea what she's getting into. I also agree with those who said it would be nice if I could "fire" a godparent!

Anyway, thanks again for the support and I'll let you know if there are any more updates!

Jynohn

 

[KarenAylwood]

Didn't see this thread when it came up initially...

Holy boogers!!!!!


This is the craziest wedding story! Good for you for having such a great hubby (we can't pick their friends can we? ). Keep us updated if anything else happens. I'm glad you found out the whole story! This guy has a lot of gall!!!

 

[laura001]

WOW! I can't believe what this guy has done. Good for you for sticking to your guns and for your DH too! Perhaps you should send copies of these threads to the groom ...now that would be interesting...
Just kidding, he probably wouldn't understand it anyway.

 

[KAMLEM]

It looks like I'm in the minority but I would be angry with DH as well for lying to me. Regardless of the reason, he still lied.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Wow, what a jerk. How can he respect his own marriage if he doesn't even respect his best friend's marriage?

Hmm, ya she is gay.....sounds like a line to me that he has used before. And how convenient that he is trying to NOW find a way for you to come too.

 

[Jynohn]

It looks like I'm in the minority but I would be angry with DH as well for lying to me. Regardless of the reason, he still lied.

He didn't exactly lie, he just didn't tell me the whole story because he knew how much it would upset me. Not that it's right, but I don't exactly blame him because he knew what my reaction would be. I've omitted some horrible things that my mom has said about DH too, not because I don't want to be truthful with him but because I know how much it would hurt his feelings and that he would never come to family functions again (my mom said that DH "abandoned" his family when he left for Iraq!)

DH knew that once I heard this story that there was no chance I would be friendly with this guy again. I won't be rude to him, but I won't go out of my way to be polite to him either. I think he was just trying to avoid a situation where his wife and his best friend (no matter what a lousy friend he's turned out to be) hate each other. It would be a completely different situation if DH had planned to go to the wedding and I found out the real story after the fact.

So while I'm not thrilled with DH for not telling me the whole story to begin with, I understand his intentions even though he may have gone about it the wrong way, so I'll forgive him.