Wedding dilema

[bumbershoot]

Oh, I forgot to write a thought I had.

If you know the name of the planner, and if you're suspicious of her like some here are, google her. Might be enlightening.

While googling "wedding planner theft" I found two mentions of a planner stealing on the first page of results, in different states. Also found this article for people planning a wedding. Won't help this couple, but might help people reading and planning a wedding.

This was their last paragraph:

Perhaps the toughest part will be explaining the situation to your guests (after all, you really can't write thank-you notes for gifts you never received). One approach is to send an email to as many guests as you can and give them a rundown of what happened; ask them to spread the word to those whose email addresses you don't have. And then send handwritten notes to every guest expressing your thanks for his or her attendance. If your wedding was on the smaller side, you could call each guest individually, though be prepared for lots of questions about the specifics from concerned friends and relatives.

 

[bballmom56]

That couple is just tacky. I hope you don't buy them gifts anymore.

I'm certainly not planning to. I am really quite surprised. I actually didn't know if thank you notes were "out of date" now because I haven't been to a wedding in many years. But I just received a TY note from a shower I went to in late August. So I guess it is still the thing to do!

 

[LotsOfQuestions]

I'm sorry, if I was a member of the bridal party, I wouldn't be comfortable calling people (probably some who are total strangers) and telling them this. That's for the wedding planner to do.

For the bride and groom to not want to act on this is strange. They don't want to protect their friends and relatives?

Not if the wedding planner is suspected of being part of the problem. That is like putting the fox in the hen house.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

OP here - No new updates today but thank you for all the replies. I honestly have never been to a wedding where there wasn't a table set up for gifts at the reception.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

Well I had a lengthly email from my DSis this morning after she got ahold of the country club manager. She basically told her that the gift tables were NEVER left unattended and the one outside with people drinking at the table watching the football game were OUR guests… my DSis told her, “let me be perfectly clear, that table was unattended when I arrived at the reception. My sister was with me and so was my best friend and I expressed my concerns to both them and the bride’s mother, who told me that the ‘wedding coordinator’ was watching the table and my reply was SHE’S NOT HERE NOW!!” (I never saw anyone near that table watching football It was in a breezeway between the clubhouse and proshop.)

She proceed to tell my DSis that before we accuse the country club of any wrongdoing, we should focus on OUR GUESTS!!! She told her that at this point she wanted to assume these items were missing and not accuse anyone. She told DSis how great their place was and that every time the “cage” got filled with cards, they were taken to the car… who’s car?? Bride's mom’s??? She said they made SEVERAL trips…

She suggested DSis file a report, which she told her that she absolutely would be doing, but wanted to wait until we had an accurate accounting of exactly what was missing. She said in her 10 years, this has NEVER happened before and that it sounded like we were expecting problems… DSis told her that her best friend had mentioned to her this had happened to others and wanted to AVOID any problems and that with so many COPS in attendance, one being a retired Chief, this would not be an issue….

All I could say was Wow... The manager was really defensive, almost makes me wonder if they have had problems before. Anyway DSis is going to contact the police and find out what needs to be done to file the report and she is going to contact everyone that they show no gift from. (Probably via a letter that she is going to send out)

Thanks again for all of the replies you guys are always a big help!

 

[Took]

It's pretty common to take a gift to the wedding reception in many areas.

As the guest, there isn't much you can do. I certainly wouldn't replace the money that was lost/stolen through the neglect of the couple or their employee.

If I was the couple, I would contact the location. There may have been a camera that recorded someone messing with the gifts.

It IS common to do this. Lots of folks do. Heck, I've done it, too. BUt, it's still not really a good idea. Much better to send it to the bride's home in advance. That way, the gift is much more certain to get to the intended recipient.


Thanks for sharing your story, OP. I have no real advice except to give the wedding planner a thumbs down. But, your nephew's incident reinforces my determination to never take another gift to a wedding. I will drop them off in advance.