Wedding - DH won't get suit

[Minnesota!]

No offense, but every man should own at least one suit and/or sport coat. If they don't, what would they wear to funerals, weddings etc??

Wow. I can guarantee you that I have never seen anyone wear a suit to a wedding. Never ever. I think a few of my dad's friends wore suits for his funeral, but not all of them. I recall one of them had a light green dress shirt, and charcoal pants. And a charcoal and green tie. For some reason what he wore sticks in my mind 11 years later

For fancier weddings (like mine...and I am looking at pictures right now which is the only reason I remember)...the men generally wore dress shirts and slacks or polos and khaki's. The girls mainly wore sundresses or little black dresses. I don't see any pictures of men in suits..

When we have a wedding to go to (or funeral) DH wears khakis or black dress pants and either a polo or dress shirt. Never a tie - has hasn't worn a tie since high school (part of the Catholic school uniform)..

It must be more casual here b/c I would never dream of wasting money on a suit since it wouldn't ever get worn!

 

[suzannen]

Wow. I can guarantee you that I have never seen anyone wear a suit to a wedding. Never ever. I think a few of my dad's friends wore suits for his funeral, but not all of them. I recall one of them had a light green dress shirt, and charcoal pants. And a charcoal and green tie. For some reason what he wore sticks in my mind 11 years later

For fancier weddings (like mine...and I am looking at pictures right now which is the only reason I remember)...the men generally wore dress shirts and slacks or polos and khaki's. The girls mainly wore sundresses or little black dresses. I don't see any pictures of men in suits..

When we have a wedding to go to (or funeral) DH wears khakis or black dress pants and either a polo or dress shirt. Never a tie - has hasn't worn a tie since high school (part of the Catholic school uniform)..

It must be more casual here b/c I would never dream of wasting money on a suit since it wouldn't ever get worn!

Well, I've lived on Long Island and am now in NYC and I have NEVER seen a grown man NOT wear a suit, at the very least, to a NY wedding unless the ceremony is actually held on the sandy beach. And, even then they wear blazers along with their ties. And a great many weddings here are actually black tie requiring tuxes. So, if you live in this particular region and don't want to call attention to yourself, own at least one dark suit.

 

[Sorsha]

No offense, but every man should own at least one suit and/or sport coat. If they don't, what would they wear to funerals, weddings etc??

Nahhhh... I think its that regional thing again. Pointed this out on another thread this morning. Pretty much everything we disagree about here on the Dis can be solved by understanding at least one of three factors:

1) Age
2) Location
3) Rural or Urban

Here in Rural Montana, in the 20-50 age group, very few people even own a suit unless it is part of their business attire. "Dressing up", for weddings or funerals or what-have-you, means a nice dress shirt and tie, or khakis and a new polo, or brand new black jeans and a western style shirt and your best cowboy hat and shine up your best cowboy boots. And no, I am not joking. I don't know anyone who owns a suit coat unless it is required for their job.

 

[kpm76]

Nahhhh... I think its that regional thing again. Pointed this out on another thread this morning. Pretty much everything we disagree about here on the Dis can be solved by understanding at least one of three factors:

1) Age
2) Location
3) Rural or Urban

Here in Rural Montana, in the 20-40 age group, very few people even own a suit unless it is part of their business attire. "Dressing up", for weddings or funerals or what-have-you, means a nice dress shirt and tie, or khakis and a new polo, or brand new black jeans and a western style shirt and your best cowboy hat and shine up your best cowboy boots. And no, I am not joking. I don't know anyone who owns a suit coat unless it is required for their job.

Yep, I think you are exactly right. The OP is from Long Island so I assume, perhaps incorrectly, that the wedding is going to be in NY. If that is the case, her DH will feel very out of place WITHOUT a suit, especially since she indicates that it is formal.

 

[Pigeon]

I've never been to a wedding (and I've been to far too many) where the men didn't wear suits or sports jackets and slacks.

 

[bored]

Who cares what he wears to the wedding. The fact he cares enough to sit thru the boring ceremony should be enough!

 

[NeverlandClub23]

OP, if it's really important to you that he wears a suit maybe you could tell him what you'll do to that suit (and him ) when you get home if he wears one?

 

[allison443]

I don't think I've ever seen a guy show up to a wedding that was NOT in a suit. A young boy perhaps, but not a grown man.

Same here! (NJ)

 

[DizBelle]

From my years of reading and posting on the disboards, people can wear whatever they want to any venue or event. If your DH wants to wear his gym clothes (dirty and sweaty) to the wedding, then that should be ok (according to the majority of DIS posters).

 

[shortbun]

My son and husband have several jackets each and my husband has a good suit. Most of their jackets have come from a thrift store. We wander through from time to time and pickup stuff like that so when an event comes up like a wedding or funeral, we're ready and there is no time or money outlay. Is he objecting to the formal wear or having to buy something he'll rarely wear? Thrift shop, consignment....

 

[Disneyrsh]

ok

 

[luvmy3]

From my years of reading and posting on the disboards, people can wear whatever they want to any venue or event. If your DH wants to wear his gym clothes (dirty and sweaty) to the wedding, then that should be ok (according to the majority of DIS posters).

I think we like to tell everyone they can wear what they want so hopefully someone will show up in gym clothes and we'll have something to post about the next day

 

[KAMLEM]

Are the guests expected to dress up?
If so, I find it very rude.

I think it would be rude for anyone to "expect" them to dress up. I hate the idea of black tie weddings and if I ever got invited to one I wouldn't go. I don't think it's right for someone to dictate what other people should wear.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

Every man should have a dark suit. Weddings & funerals.

I think this too. Unfortunately, it's become more and more common to just wear jeans to these events. At least I've seen it happening.
In fact, the wedding I'm attending this coming weekend is completely casual. Then again, the couple and his parents aren't exactly classy people.

 

[Disneyrsh]

I think it would be rude for anyone to "expect" them to dress up. I hate the idea of black tie weddings and if I ever got invited to one I wouldn't go. I don't think it's right for someone to dictate what other people should wear.

wow.

 

[okeydokey]

If the occasion calls for a suit and you accept the invitation and then refuse to wear the suit, I think that's rude and selfish. Most weddings I have been to have been semi formal and a button up and shirt would be fine, but I'd be pissed at my DH is it was a formal wedding and he refused to dress accordingly. The wedding day is about the couple getting married so you need to suck it up or decline the invite if they wish to have a formal affair.

Not sure what the case is here because we don't have all the info.

 

[JaneBanks]

I'm getting married, in Long Island. We're spending a gross amount of money on this wedding and its not even black tie. If someone shows up to my wedding wearing casual clothes, I'll be a little annoyed. I'm putting so much time and energy(and money!) in to this wedding so my guests can enjoy and have a great night, I would expect my guest to put some energy in to what they are wearing.

Sorry if that makes me sound snobbish, I'm really not trying to be. I just find it disrespectful if you show up to a wedding like you're going to a birthday party.

I also agree that its a regional thing. Most Long Island weddings are NOT casual. The average cost of each persons plate for dinner is anywhere from $70-$90 before taxes!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

OP, if it's really important to you that he wears a suit maybe you could tell him what you'll do to that suit (and him ) when you get home if he wears one?

As a man, I give this answer a

 

[Buckalew11]

I say just make sure his neck is shaved. Nothing looks worse than a man all cleaned up, whether suit and tie or dress shirt and tie, and his neck to be all fuzzy. Ick. *shiver* I hate seeing it and yes, of course, I notice it. LOL Clean that neckline up so at least you don't "look" like you need a haircut. LOL.

 

[LilyWDW]

I think this too. Unfortunately, it's become more and more common to just wear jeans to these events. At least I've seen it happening.
In fact, the wedding I'm attending this coming weekend is completely casual. Then again, the couple and his parents aren't exactly classy people.

So if I did a casual wedding because I don't want to ask my guests to spend money on a new outfit, I am not classy? Hopefully the wording of your post is just not that great, but you seem to be implying that.

Personally, I don't care what my guests wear as long as they put on something besides sweat pants. Jeans, khakis, ect... all cool with me. Heck, I don't even want to wear a dang dress so why should I ask my guests to?