We were going to surprise daughter but now need advice !!

[hellokitty]

I was going to surprise my 8 yr. old daughter (third grader) with a trip to disney world nov 30 - dec 4.
but Listen to this:

she has decided to be in the school choir and the two performances are Dec. 1 and Dec. 4th!!!

Also, the church children's choir is performing Dec. 2nd.

What luck I had in planning this trip, but who knew. These schedules just came out yesterday!!

My daughter is very excited about the school choir programs, however, she will be missing them
due to disneyworld. I know she loves disney, but not sure how much??

My dilema?? We were going to wait to pick her up from school on Friday nov. 30th and go to airport
(she might think she has a orthodontist appt)--and say surprise we're going to disney!!!

My sister did this with her kids and said it was priceless, but I am not sure what to do??

I hope someone else has some ideas?

 

[josierac]

I would definitely tell her about the trip and give her the surprise now.

 

[Dianna]

We were in a similar situation last year. We planned a birthday trip for my goddaughter's grandmother for December. We were going to surprise my goddaughter. After the trip was planned, we found out that the school's Christmas program was going to be held when we were gone. This was her first year in school (kindergarten) and she was really excited about performing in the program. We decided that we had to tell her so that she would know that she would not be in the program. When we came home from the trip, we had her perform the songs for the family. Although she had a good time at Disney, I think if given a choice, she would have chosen to stay home and do the program. Since the trip had already been planned and paid for, staying home was not an option. This is all to say that you should tell her so that she is not disappointed about not performing.

 

[Barb D]

Is there ANY way you could change the dates of your trip? Disney World is wonderful, but these concerts will be precious memories for you and your DD too. Especially at Christmas time. This is part of real life.

BTW, my 8yo DD says that if we were in this situation she would want to know so that she could help make the decision. (She says she would choose Disney herself, even though we were just there and her choir and chorus committments are important to her. This surprised me. I really thought she'd choose the concerts.)

My 8yo also wonders if your 8yo has been there before.


Edit: Oh, and also, I wanted to surprise my kids with our last trip in September, but DH said he thought we should tell them so that they could help in planning and have the joy of anticipation. So we told them, and they say they're glad we did. Planning is half the fun!

 

[Amazing-grace]

Originally posted by josierac
I would definitely tell her about the trip and give her the surprise now.

Ditto, absolutely

 

[hellokitty]

no, the plane tickets would cost $400 to change---

 

[Kermit]

I would tell her, too. You want her to get over the disappointment of missing those things before you go. And planning is fun, too. She's old enough that you can let her read some books and plan out a perfect day all by herself. That may make it worth it.

I like the idea of letting her do her own performance, too. That could be a lot of fun.

 

[whirlsy]

could you do the "what would you do theory"? like "so in so"has this opportunity to go to disneyworld but "she" has (something as equal to your daughters concerts) what would you do hunny? that way you can get her opinion without spoiling the surprise, and truly see what she would rather do.

 

[Barb D]

So the issue is not whether you're going or not. You're going. The issue is whether to tell her ahead of time or not. I still say tell her. You don't know how she's going to react emotionally with that kind of surprise, and she might surprise you. We surprised my kids ONE TIME with a WDW trip. We told them we were going to "Christmas Village," a place with lots of grown-up shopping and maybe a little train and a Santa Claus. I wanted them to know we were going somewhere (since we were packing) and that it would be fun, but I didn't want them to get too excited about it. Turns out my DS (who didn't even believe in Santa Claus!) had turned Christmas Village in his mind into a magical place where he would meet Santa and his elves. When we told him we were actually going to WDW he burst into tears! It took a while to console him and make him realize that reality was MUCH better than fantasy.

In any case, I can just imagine your daughter being so upset about missing her concerts that her mind ignores the fact of where she is going. Do you really want an emotional melt-down at the airport?

If I were you I'd come up with a really special way of telling her now. Let her get used to the idea of missing her concerts, and let her enjoy planning and anticipating the trip. Also, this way you can be sure she won't be volunteering to do any solos at the concerts or anything!

 

[susy]

I would tell her ahead of time and maybe her choir director could help in maybe letting her contribute to the program in some other special way.

 

[Dr. Happy]

WOW!

Talk about timing! Talk about coincidence! Talk about dumb luck!

Talk about an upset Third Grader!

I think you might be well advised to tell her ASAP. Surprises like these are great, but not when there is a competing, or series of competing, events to look forward to...

So I would suggest you swallow your pride and spill the beans...

Otherwise, she might be spilling the beans on you...

(Hope everything goes well)

 

[dzneprincess]

She may be really looking forward to these performances.

 

[Kallison]

This is why I don't surprise my kids. They have plans and schedules, worry about making up schoolwork etc. I think it would be best to tell her, so she realizes she will not be performing. I'm sure she will handle it better being prepared ahead of time.

 

[hellokitty]

THanks for all your advice, I finnally decided to do this:

About 8 days ago:
I mentioned the "thought" of going somewhere during her performances, telling her she might miss them
and she got really upset. (keep in mind i did not tell her where) I let her go at this so she could get
used to the thought.

THen, I told her about 5 days later, "what if it were disney and we were staying at the contemporary?"
(I told her this by the computer where we have the background a huge photo of contemp. and it's pool silde)
she went wild and said "REally??? doesnt the monorail go through there?" Of course i said yes and I myself
got really excited!!!!
She now say's that it is okay to miss her program although she is still a little disappointed.

Whew....I think I like her reaction now than keeping it from her. It makes it exciting that we can all plan for our
trip....

Read first post if this confuses you.