We are survivors of a mass shooting and have a question about Disney

[rdesear]

Hello
Let me get this out of the way. My wife, son and I are survivors of the mass shooting at the Ft. Lauderdale airport this past January. We are very lucky to be alive. It obviously ruined our cruise and we have had many sleepless nights..

However..

We are dong really good now and decided to try our luck driving to Disney at the end of the month. We are long time Disney fans and know the parks well. We decided to spend a small fortune this go around and are spending 4 nights at the Hard Rock Hotel Univerasal and 9 night in a 2 bedroom Beach Club Villa. Good choices? Never stayed at either. Usually we stay at the Poly or Contemporary. A few times at the Boardwalk.

My son was shot at on his 12th birthday so this time we decided to bring his buddy (age 13) with us to make it a memorable visit. My question is this.. the boys want some freedom (understandable) but we are a little skittish. What is a good age to let them explore on their own a bit (Im thinking within park). I trust this wont turn into some horrible flame fest as it is a genuine inquiry as to thoughts. We need a good vacation here. We aren't demanding people. We are very go with the flow (I hate hate hate having to book restaurant reservations so far in advance). Anyway...thoughts from y'all?

 

[travelgirl77]

I will let the parents with older kids respond here, but I just wanted to say that I hope this vacation is healing for you and your family. I cannot even imagine how you all must feel. I think that my parents let me loose, by myself, at Busch Gardens when I was in 7th or 8th grade. They may have even dropped me off...I cannot remember. I think that as long as you have check-ins with them, they should be good....especially in a smaller park like HS. Again, I will let the parents of older kids with experience answer this, but I wanted to wish you all the best on this trip!

 

[CAS239]

You'll know them better than anyone on here can tell you. But roaming within the same park, and I'm sure in today's day and age they both already have cell phones, I don't see an issue with 12 and 13 yr old boys going off on their own.

For traveling to different parks I'd say a little older. But all on how responsible they are.

Just make sure they keep the phones on them, you guys have a meeting spot at a certain time, and stranger danger lol. Everything should be fine

 

[rdesear]

Both boys have cell phones FYI and are great kids. Respectful of others and very kind. Also I just wanted to say I don't use the term "survivors of mass shootings" lightly. Everyone in a circle around us died. Everyone. God watched over us that day. The ironic part is I cancelled our original vacation In early December as I run a major hospitality destination in a major resort town that had massive wildfires the previous month. So it was a really bad few months for us and I think we can be forgiven for being a bit skittish!

 

[robndani]

Are you going to relax and enjoy while they are off? Make sure you're okay with it too! You could always start out by letting them roam in a section of the park rather than the whole thing? I'm glad to hear you are healing... I can't even imagine how scary that must have been! BCV is one of our favorite spots! ENJOY!

 

[wilkeliza]

I'd say official policy is they can be alone at 7 but only you know your boys. I would think letting them get in line for a ride while you wait would be a good start or letting them be in the same land as you but I wouldn't let them leave a park with out the adults.

I hope whatever you decide you have an amazing vacation.

 

[rdesear]

You'll know them better than anyone on here can tell you. But roaming within the same park, and I'm sure in today's day and age they both already have cell phones, I don't see an issue with 12 and 13 yr old boys going off on their own.

For traveling to different parks I'd say a little older. But all on how responsible they are.

Just make sure they keep the phones on them, you guys have a meeting spot at a certain time, and stranger danger lol. Everything should be fine

Thats our thinking as well

 

[FelisLachesis]

Last time I was in Disney, my kids were about your kids' ages, now. I had no issues with them going out on their own and exploring. I just made it clear that their mom and I were going to be in the same park that day, and to meet up for FPs and ADRs. We also had an end of day rendezvous point "x place, y time" just in case our phones didn't make it.

Beyond that, if they wanted to do something that their mom and I didn't want to, or vice versa, I let them go.

They all had cell phones, and I had a fairly large battery-powered charger in my backpack. During meal times, I'd charge a cell phone or two to make sure we didn't lose touch with each other.

Edit: Also to add: I gave my kids a Disney Gift Card for snacks and souvenirs, so they can get what they want. If we met together for food, I'm paying for it. If they failed to show up to eat and got hungry later, they paid for it out of their snack budget

 

[IrishNYC]

At those ages, and with cell phones, if you are ok with them being on their own, I think they'll be fine.

I know it's hard to let go after surviving something so horrific. My husband is a 9/11 first responder/survivor (he was technically there before first response because he was already there working as part of his regular patrol), and he still doesn't like flying, but does.The Ft. Lauderdale shooting brought out some lingering PTSD issues for him, and he considered driving on our next Disney trip because of it. I always tell him that he already survived the worst, nothing else could possibly happen, and life has to go on. I hope your trip helps put this behind you a great deal more.

 

[wilkeliza]

Oh I would also buy them some sort of external battery for their phones. Disney sells fuel rods where you can swap it out through out the day for a new charged rod.

 

[rdesear]

At those ages, and with cell phones, if you are ok with them being on their own, I think they'll be fine.

I know it's hard to let go after surviving something so horrific. My husband is a 9/11 first responder/survivor (he was technically there before first response because he was already there working as part of his regular patrol), and he still doesn't like flying, but does.The Ft. Lauderdale shooting brought out some lingering PTSD issues for him, and he considered driving on our next Disney trip because of it. I always tell him that he already survived the worst, nothing else could possibly happen, and life has to go on. I hope your trip helps put this behind you a great deal more.

We live day by day now and it gets better but we all trigger differently. Someone told me the other day that there is a group of people who say the FLL shooting was a hoax. That actually made me laugh. The thought that 20,000 people at FLL that day and 58 of us at luggage carousel 3 were all in on the "hoax". I saw Santiagos eyes. Those were the cold dead eyes of a shark and I know sharks very very well

 

[Moxiepup]

I'm glad that you are going to be able have the chance to enjoy a vacation!

I'm a substitute teacher that frequently teaches at the middle school level. I find that students are all over the board at this age, maturity wise, and as a parent you are in the best place to know if your child is ready to have that level of freedom. I think letting them explore a park on their own, that you are also in at the same time, would generally be fine. Just please be sure you know your son's friend, and be sure that this friend knows your expectations. Sometimes children will behave in ways we don't think when they are around their friends who they may be trying to impress. As long as all parties are truly on the same page, I think that a Disney park would be one of the safest places to give a little freedom. Let them know how often to check in, meeting places, etc., and I think you'll be fine.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I have nothing to add, except to say God Bless You and I hope this trip is everything you want it to be.

 

[J and R's mom]

First...WOW...What a HORRIFIC thing. I cannot imagine the different stages of healing that you all must go through (and will continue to work through). Only time will bring healing (coupled with God's love...He certainly was not ready to see you all leave this earth yet). "Day-to-day" for you guys is vastly different than what the rest of us deal with. And the added burden of watching your child have to cope with the aftermath must be hard as well. Luckily kids tend to be more resilient than us older folks.

Second...What a GREAT vacation you have planned. I cannot speak to the Hard Rock (never been there). But we LOVE the Beach Club and the Boardwalk area in general. Your son and his friend will have an amazing time there. They will be able to peruse the Boardwalk and possibly even EPCOT on their own without much worry. And they will probably LOVE the pool area there! My girls are 12 and 13 and we let them enjoy the parks on their own this past November 2016 (as long as we were at that park too), and we let them wonder the resort on their own as well when we were all back at the resort. Like you, we did not think they were quite ready to handle the transportation between parks/resorts on their own just yet. But they did really well managing on their own.

• They had their cell phones in case they needed to call (or we needed to call them).
• They had Disney gift cards with their budgeted amount for the trip loaded on them.
  
• They had magic bands (and the pin code) in case of a spending "emergency" (none arose, though--they knew they'd have to reimburse us).
• Their park tickets were loaded on their magic bands--so FPs etc., were set.
• They had a copy of our dining plans (if we had any) for that park for the day.

Small bits of freedom can be good for both sides. And if either party decides that it's just not working out, then changing the rules mid-stream won't hurt anyone.

Go and have an amazing time. And we wish you and your family the best and for lasting healing to come your way.

 

[rdesear]

Great Advice. J and R's Mom! I really appreciate it. I noticed in your ...is it a BIO area? that you married and honeymooned at the Boardwalk. My wife and I first went to Disney when we were 17 and newly dating on a calculus trip. Horizons was our favorite ride and I proposed to her years later on it. We honeymooned at Carribean Beach Club. I work for an International Company and I have traveled the world (as has she who also works for them) buit there is no place like WDW. It is our happy place and it is time to go back. We are very happily married and together for 27 years since that fateful Calculus Trip!

 

[maryj11]

Both boys have cell phones FYI and are great kids. Respectful of others and very kind. Also I just wanted to say I don't use the term "survivors of mass shootings" lightly. Everyone in a circle around us died. Everyone. God watched over us that day. The ironic part is I cancelled our original vacation In early December as I run a major hospitality destination in a major resort town that had massive wildfires the previous month. So it was a really bad few months for us and I think we can be forgiven for being a bit skittish!

So sorry to hear that had to happen to you and your family, that would of made me very skittish. I cant even imagine being in that situation where everyone around you died. Praying you have a safe and awesome vacation this year.

 

[HopperFan]

I know you said having them go on their own within the park, but just for info, they are too young to enter a park alone. You must be 14. But they are certainly old enough to enjoy the parks on their own if you are also in the park.

Lots of good info here; can't beat cell phones these days. When my DS (high school coach) takes his kids to the parks (twice a year) his rule is they must text him every two hours (or whatever works for you) to let him know they are okay and where there are within the park. Helps him keep virtual track of them.

 

[alliecat523]

Agree with all that have posted so far far. My DD is 13 and has a phone. I allow her to go off on her own within the same park or at the resort. She's great about checking in so no worries.

Wishing you a restful vacation!

 

[Shanti]

I'm a mom to a 12 year-old boy. If you're fine with it, and if your son, his friend and his friend's parents are all okay with that level of independence at a Disney theme park, then go for it (with well-charged cell phones, of course). I personally wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure you get the other boy's parents' consent for that, and tell the boys to try to check in with you on the hour via text.

 

[Capang]

Start small. Give them a couple hours and a meeting point. Build from there. I'm so sorry you endured what you did.