Watching DD get hurt by a friend?!?! LONG

[KAMKIM]

Oh boy -- the teenage years. I will admit I am not looking forward to those.

I have 2 DD's - thinking about the teenage years make me twitch

 

[Wishing on a star]

DD figured out the one way to get around the uniform rule -- knee high socks. At this point there is no rule on what kind or color your socks have to be. So dd wears all kinds and colors. Many of them have peace signs on them but she also has many that do not.

Methinks we just found out why 'mean girl' has such a problem with the DD's peace signs.... It's the cool socks.... BINGO!!!!!

Apparently the other girls' moms are not going out and spending the money on socks, shopping at 'Justice', or they simply do not agree that funky socks should be worn.... Your DD has stepped out of the box, ahead of the pack, become a trendsetter, and has, therefore, made herself a target.

Yep, sometimes it can be as simple as that.
Especially with 3rd grade girls.

(I'll bet you that your DD was so 'mean' because she said or did something that was construed as showing off or bragging about her socks/clothing. That would explain mean-girls comments, for sure.)

IMHO, I would simply tell my DD that there are other girls who are not 'mean girls', and that she can learn to choose better friends.

As long as she is 'engaging' with mean-girl, the battle will continue

Peace

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Methinks we just found out why 'mean girl' has such a problem with the DD's peace signs.... It's the cool socks.... BINGO!!!!!

Apparently the other girls moms are not going out and spending the money socks, shopping at 'Justice', or they simply do not agree that funky socks should be worn.... Your DD has stepped out of the box, ahead of the pack, become a trendsetter, and has, therefore, made herself a target.

Yep, sometimes it can be as simple as that.
Especially with 3rd grade girls.

IMHO, I would simply tell my DD that there are other girls who are not 'mean girls', and that she can learn to choose better friends.

As long as she is 'engaging' with mean-girl, the battle will continue

Peace

Who knew socks could be so dangerous! LOL!!

Seriously I see your point thought I just had not thought of it that. DD has done this for several years but it only has recently been noticed and "talked" about by the staff at her school.

 

[Wishing on a star]

no doubt, i thought I was back in algebra class!!

OMG!!! Yep, the whole situation reads like some undecipherable algebraic equation!!!!

I agree....

I suggest the screen-name Nellie (as in Nellie Olsen) for mean girl, and short anonymous names for other characters in the play.

 

[tink20]

I didn't read all the posts, just wanted to say, for some reason girls have this problem much worse than boys. My DD has had this problem in the past years when she was younger. And now at 15, is having a similar problem with a good friend (this girl even went to WDW with us this past June, (her and another girl) the three of them had a wonderful time. Something happens to this girl when they are in school, same thing happened last year, they made up in May, and just about a week ago, MORE DRAMA! I love this girl and her mom, but I can't make her be nice. (she is really smart and she makes comments to my DD, that make my DD seem stupid IDKY)

I always tell my kids, if someone is being mean, then that's not the kind of friend you want anyway. Good Luck!

 

[luvsJack]

Yes she is! LOL

DD has also discovered a store called Justice. I think everything in that has a peace sign on it - at least everything that dd likes.

DD figured out the one way to get around the uniform rule -- knee high socks. At this point there is no rule on what kind or color your socks have to be. So dd wears all kinds and colors. Many of them have peace signs on them but she also has many that do not.

The Prinicipal at her school gets a kick out of dds socks. It has surprised both of us that more kids are not wearing colorful knee highs to "break" out of uniform. I guess those kids like to match -- dd does not have that problem.

We are going to the mall tomorrow, we'll have check out Justice for some great peace sign stuff! She would love the knee socks, but their new principal just changed their dress code to include white socks. Oh, well--she will just have to go with a few more funky, peace sign earrings.

 

[IDoDis]

As others have said, your DD will be much better off without this other girl she thought was her friend. That girl is just going to get worse over time, and if her mom is oblivious now, she will be oblivious later on, too.

My DD had made what she thought was her BFF when she was in the 5th grade. The girl was new and had moved to the school around Thanksgiving and was in DD's class. They hit it off very well. I became friends with the girl's mom. The girls did everything together.

The other girl was supposed to go to a different middle school than DD due to the school boundary map, but because that school was way overcrowded, my DD's upcoming middle school was allowing transfers. The girl's mom transferred her to DD's school. During the spring and over the summer there were some "issues" and spats over things that left my DD bewildered. Their relationship was on-again-off again. The girl would hang up on her and they wouldn't talk for 2 weeks. Then they'd be friends again.

The day that school started for the 6th graders, DD's friend's registration paperwork was missing, probably because she was a transfer student. The girl's mom got very perturbed and pulled her DD out my DD's school and transferred her to a private school. My DD was devastated and cried for 2 days.

As it turned out, that other girl ended up not doing so well at the private school, so her mother transferred to the original overcrowded school where the girl ended up making friends and then enemies. One of DD's good friends ended up on this girl's "hit list." She got crank-called, front yard TP'd, had nasty notes pushed through the little vents in her locker, and tried to turn many other girls against DD's friend.

I told my DD it was a blessing in disguise that the other girl ended up not going to my DD's school after all. My DD would have been another victim. And my DD ended making some very fabulous friends who she loves and adores. They are all in the 8th grade now and doing great!

So what I'm saying is, while it's hard for your DD to have this girl being mean to her, in the end, she'll be much happier without this girl in her life.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

We are going to the mall tomorrow, we'll have check out Justice for some great peace sign stuff! She would love the knee socks, but their new principal just changed their dress code to include white socks. Oh, well--she will just have to go with a few more funky, peace sign earrings.

If you can check out thier website. Justice can get pricey but they run good sales, usually 40% off coupons. Thats the only way I can afford the store.

Often dd and I will shop towards the end of the season when things are priced at 30% off then I use the coupon. It helps that we live in so cal so we really don't need seasonal clothes, lol.

FYI - Justice used to be Limited Too.

Bummer on the socks!

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

As others have said, your DD will be much better off without this other girl she thought was her friend. That girl is just going to get worse over time, and if her mom is oblivious now, she will be oblivious later on, too.

My DD had made what she thought was her BFF when she was in the 5th grade. The girl was new and had moved to the school around Thanksgiving and was in DD's class. They hit it off very well. I became friends with the girl's mom. The girls did everything together.

The other girl was supposed to go to a different middle school than DD due to the school boundary map, but because that school was way overcrowded, my DD's upcoming middle school was allowing transfers. The girl's mom transferred her to DD's school. During the spring and over the summer there were some "issues" and spats over things that left my DD bewildered. Their relationship was on-again-off again. The girl would hang up on her and they wouldn't talk for 2 weeks. Then they'd be friends again.

The day that school started for the 6th graders, DD's friend's registration paperwork was missing, probably because she was a transfer student. The girl's mom got very perturbed and pulled her DD out my DD's school and transferred her to a private school. My DD was devastated and cried for 2 days.

As it turned out, that other girl ended up not doing so well at the private school, so her mother transferred to the original overcrowded school where the girl ended up making friends and then enemies. One of DD's good friends ended up on this girl's "hit list." She got crank-called, front yard TP'd, had nasty notes pushed through the little vents in her locker, and tried to turn many other girls against DD's friend.

I told my DD it was a blessing in disguise that the other girl ended up not going to my DD's school after all. My DD would have been another victim. And my DD ended making some very fabulous friends who she loves and adores. They are all in the 8th grade now and doing great!

So what I'm saying is, while it's hard for your DD to have this girl being mean to her, in the end, she'll be much happier without this girl in her life.

I am sorry that your dd had to deal with all that!

Its just hard watching dd learn these life lessons. While it is good to know dd is not alone and there are nice kids out there, it's a shame that this happens to often.