Look, Loser friends. Don't take this the wrong way, but we've become a little...well...stale.
It's all about laundry and dinner and coffee.
In an effort to shake things up a bit, lets get back to the basics.
Hello, I'm Jimmy. I'm a terrible hair cutter. I once tried to cut my own bangs, and it was a disaster. I tried to cut them, but they were crooked. So I tried again. Drats, it was crooked, but in the opposite direction. So I tried again. And again. Until there was less than an inch of hair, which by the way, stood straight up. I gave myself a bang mohawk.
I also cannot drive in reverse. Ask my husband. On second thought, don't. Even though we don't even own that truck anymore, I'm sure he would just want to kill me all over again. There was one time when I was driving with my grandmother-in-law in the passenger seat and two young children in the back where I backed into a ditch. No big boom, no loud crash, I just sort of put one tire in the ditch. Crazy grandmother-in-law started screaming, "OMG, we're going to die! Save yourself! I've lived a long life, just get the kids out!"
Lady, it's a ditch, not the freaking ocean.
I also have difficulty driving in a forward direction. I have hit a police car. Because I crossed the double yellow line. Because my defroster wasn't working. While I was driving a truck so my 5 year old was sitting up front. With no car seat. Somehow, that extraordinary officer let me leave, no questions asked, no drivers license, nothing.
I've been known to burn things, drop things, sneeze like a cat. I am a potato chip addict. I like to wash those carbs down with a diet pepsi.
I am also known to roll my pants up old school style. You know, where you tuck the cuff and then roll them upwards. I know I look hideously retro, but I'm short, and the floor is wet where I work, so retro is better than water soaking all the way up to my knees.
Anyone else care to share some interesting, non-traditional facts about themselves? Or will I be the only cat sneezing, bang mohawked person here?