Waitress Not Asking if You Want Dessert

[MIGrandma]

Last night we took DH's Dad and step-Mom out to dinner for a celebration.

Staff was pleasant, server was pleasant and attentive, food was great.

Then. We were only about half through our meal when she stopped at the table and said "I'm going to leave this (bill) here, but if you need anything else we can add it." That annoys me to no end. I feel she should have waited until we were finished, or nearly finished and then asked us if anyone wanted dessert before she presented the bill.

I did ask right away if anyone at the table wanted dessert. I know DH was planning on ordering dessert and coffee and I think his Dad would have too. But they both said no. DH didn't want her to have to refigure the bill.

It was Monday night, the restaurant wasn't busy and there were lots of empty tables so it wasn't like she was trying to "hurry us along" so another group could be seated at our table so I just don't understand why she would present the bill so quickly like she did.

We did end up tipping a bit less since she did that.

So, does it bother you if the server doesn't ask if you want dessert before they give you the bill?

 

[mjkacmom]

We never, ever order dessert. I usually ask for the bill when the food is served, because when we're done, we're done (especially when the kids were little), and I hate having to flag down the server for the check.

 

[Becky2005]

That seems to be standard here a lot. It wouldn't have even phased me.

What they usually say is something along the lines of here is the bill, no hurry, take your time, just let me know if there is anything else you need.

I guess we are in a quicker type of state & they are used to people not wanting to wait around for their bill, so they can leave whenever they are ready to go. There are times we are in a hurry and then it takes another 10-15 minutes before they get back to you with the bill after you have told them you are ready for it.

So, kind of a catch-22 for the waitstaff I guess.

 

[Lanshark]

Dh and I were recently in a restaurant where the waitress did this. It didn't phase me but she apologized to us for it and said that her manager requires them to give the bill as soon as the food is delivered. She told us to take our time. I would assume the manager feels it will speed up the turnover of the tables.

 

[sam_gordon]

If I would have wanted dessert, this would have turned me off from ordering it. It wouldn't bother me though and I wouldn't reduce the tip because of it (they'd automatically be getting less money in tip because you don't have the added dessert cost).

 

[freckles04]

Your DH is nicer than I would have been. I would have had no problem telling her that we wanted to order dessert and making her re-do the ticket. And as long as she didn't cop an attitude or anything, it wouldn't have any effect on her tip. We're all human and she may have just forgotten. I dunno. I waitressed for a couple years in my late teens and always asked about dessert but I also made a few mistakes. The worst was when a couple ordered an appetizer which I completely forgot about until I brought their entrees and they said "Umm, what about our appetizer?" DOH! I wanted to die right there I was so ashamed. They must have taken pity on me, said I saved them some calories and tipped me well.

 

[khertz]

Actually this happened not that long ago when we went out to eat with a large group of family. The server brought out the check, and DH told her we would like to order dessert. She added it to the bill no problem and brought us out our dessert.

It would never occur to me to tip less for something like that, unless the server was rude when doing so. She probably thought she was providing better service by not making you wait for the check since the majority of diners probably don't order dessert.

I have only tipped less once in my life, and it was because the server was totally rude to us when it came to carding my DH for a beer.

 

[Scornelius]

DH didn't want her to have to refigure the bill.

I don't understand this part. All she would do was put the dessert into the computer and print out a new bill. I certainly wouldn't let 2 seconds of work keep me from ordering dessert at a celebration dinner!

 

[Jennasis]

Many restaurants do this. Can't imagine reducing the servers tip for it.

 

[Becky2005]

The worst was when a couple ordered an appetizer which I completely forgot about until I brought their entrees and they said "Umm, what about our appetizer?" DOH! I wanted to die right there I was so ashamed. They must have taken pity on me, said I saved them some calories and tipped me well.

It has happened the one that sticks out most in my mind that I felt worse for the waitress since we weren't mad or anything -- she forgot our drinks! Our meal came and we just asked about our drinks. We honestly were not upset but she was so upset that she had forgotten our drinks. She ended up talking to the manager and comping us dessert. I don't know if she was new & thought we were going to get her in trouble or what. I have waitressed before too and things happen so didn't think much about a small mistake as long as it is quickly corrected if it can be.

I have also had it before when they hand you that bill, they still come by later and ask if there is anything else they can get you, so if I really wanted dessert or whatever, I wouldn't have a problem with them re-doing the bill -- it's all computerized anyway mostly. All they have to do is hit a few extra buttons and wah-lah, a new bill is printed. Really doesn't take them more than a minute or two.

 

[NHdisneylover]

How is it "re-configuring the bill" in this day and age? The table is likely still in the computer, she adds in the rest of your order and it prints a new copy. It wouldn't take her any longer than adding that in before bringing you the check would have.

I don't love that it is a (minor) waste of paper--but I also figure it is policy and it would be a big deal to me at all so long as the waitress were still around and available for rink refills and to take my dessert order when I wanted her to.

I find it odd to not order dessert if you wanted, and really, really odd to dock her tip over this

 

[Wishing on a star]

I find it odd to not order dessert if you wanted, and really, really odd to dock her tip over this

I agree...
Don't know what the big deal is....
I also would find this post to be odd.
Wouldn't have phased me.
But, there are some people....
And, just throwing this out there... this does sound like some folks I know who are from the same area as the OP.

It is very common to go ahead and drop the check.
As opposed to some places and cultures where one almost has to get up and go beg for it, as it is considered "rude as it might rush the guest".
I understand that is the way it is in Spain and Mexico... One Mexican restaurant here is like that.

Servers sometimes serve so many tables or have so many other duties that watching every table for the exact right moment would be difficult.

Some people like the chance to look it over and make sure it is right, etc... Get a head start on payment....

Dessert is definitely not the big percentage of guests around here....

And, it is easy enough to let the waiter know early on that "We're saving room for dessert..." etc...

 

[Tinkermommy]

Well for most restaurants we go to they are family type restaurants and we eat and go and rarely order desert. I even like that they bring the check so we don't have to wait if we don't want to.

Now, if we were at a fine dining restaurant I would not expect this and it would be a major faux pas for the server to do this.

Honestly, if I wanted desert I would have ordered it and not thought about it again.

 

[MIGrandma]

I don't understand this part. All she would do was put the dessert into the computer and print out a new bill. I certainly wouldn't let 2 seconds of work keep me from ordering dessert at a celebration dinner!

It wasn't a restaurant where they have computerized billing.

I used to wait tables, and I just feel it's rude and "rushing" the customers to present the bill way before they're finished (unless they ask for it early) and I would always, always ask them if they wanted dessert before giving them their bill.

It just makes sense, to a waitress, to offer dessert since the bill will be larger then, and therefore your tip will probably be larger as well.

 

[JessicaR]

I would think this hurts the server doing it that way. It's almost like deciding the diners are done. I think odds are most won't order anything else and she eliminated the possibility of a larger tip with adding dessert and coffee.

It would annoy me if it were done that way but I would have no problem saying, "yes we want to order dessert". My husband always does.

I would not change the tip due to this.

 

[powellrj]

It wouldn't be a blip on my radar. I like it when they leave the check so I don't have to wait around for it if she gets busy when I am ready for it.

If you wanted dessert, all you had to do was ask for it. She would just add it to your check, no big deal even if she had to do the math herself because they didn't use computers. Yes, I eat at alot of smaller places that still hand write tickets!

I would never have lowered her tip for something as trivial as that was.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ummmm, so.....
And this makes a difference in the whole "" attitude about such a minute thing.
To turn a nice celebration into
To 'dock' the waitstaff's tip.

And, as others have mentioned... The description of the check seems to lead one to believe that this was not some fine dining establishment which would have more polished service.

Wow.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I love when the check is dropped with the meal. I can pay and leave when I'm ready and if we want to linger over coffee and dessert we just order after the meal.

So you deducted the tip because of a service you didn't receive and didn't ask for....

 

[JessicaR]

Ummmm, so.....
And this makes a difference in the whole "" attitude about such a minute thing.

And, as others have mentioned... Then this seems to lead one to believe that this was not some fine dining establishment which would have more polished service.

Wow.

I was thinking that too.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

Off-topic but speaking of ordering dessert, having 2 small children I really appreciate it when a server discreetly asks about dessert (I've even had a few spell it out!) rather than go into the usual spiel. They get extra tip for that!