Waiting for people (a small vent)

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

My mother has never been on time in her life. She will be late for her own funeral. But lord help me if i'm later then her. Her lateness varies from 20 minutes to an hour so I can't be late myself. She was late getting to traffic school and coming back from lunch and had the gall to argue with the people there to let her in (after they already let her in when she was late by 2 minutes getting there). They didn't let her back in after lunch and she was livid.

I'm waiting for my parents now. They were supposed to be here at 5:45. At 5:30 they called they were on the way, about 25 minutes away. It is now 6 and they still aren't here.

I am so irritated with her, she sees nothing wrong with being late. I would normally say something but being Mothers Day I'll attempt to bite my tounge.

 

[ktpool]

I don't blame you for being mad. People who are chronically late only show that they have no respect for other people. It is not funny, or endearing, or cute.

I don't understand why those chronically late people think that their time is more valuable than mine????

 

[disykat]

You're a good child to not say something on Mother's Day. It's not a good day to point out how selfish she's being.

However, on any other day I wouldn't put up with it! I think I'd make a point of being later than her. It sounds like an hour and 15 minutes should do it.

 

[Kimberly]

My father is like this. No matter what, when there is something that he doesn't need to be on time to, such as anything but a work related event, he is always late. Was late even to my undergraduate college graduation...

One of my professors at Syracuse University used to say this all the time, the first day of classes: "If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. And if you're late, don't even bother showing up."

 

[momrek06]

One of my professors at Syracuse University used to say this all the time, the first day of classes: "If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. And if you're late, don't even bother showing up."

LOVE THAT!!!

To the OP: My BIL/SIL are always always always late to family functions at my MIL's house..did I mention ALWAYS.....it is so bad, that my MIL now tells them lunch will be at NOON despite the fact they will not be there until 1pm and actually she schedules the meal for 1pm so that nothing gets cold waiting for them YET, MY family is ALWAYS there at noon....it took sometime for me to figure out why we were always arriving ON TIME, yet we BIL/SIL are ONE HOUR late but no one says anything to them and we eat right at 1pm....

Finally, one day my MIL tells me her strategy and YET we (my family) traveling the FARTHEST...has to put up with this little game.

AND AND AND IF MY fam is late my MIL is OPENLY angry..OPENLY..we were ONCE and never again...she was so mad that we were late she would not even speak to US....WHATTTT is up with that!!!!

I will go to my grave knowing her son (my BIL) is her favorite over my DH!

 

[LuvN~Travel]

I've had friends like this in the past. Back in our single days, we actually had two that were like that. One however, would show up an half hour to an hour early, the other that time late. We learned eventually to give the early bird a later time (not letting her know about the earlier time) and gave the late fellow a much earlier time to be there. We found out things worked a lot better that way!

 

[scraptoons]

Sounds like half of my relatives.

We just work around it by telling them a time at least thirty minutes to an hour prior to the actual time we plan to "start". Some gatherings, we get started without them. Sometimes (Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner) we wait.

Once or twice, our holiday dinners would go cold. Then they show up and they still have to assemble the salad or whatever that they volunteered to bring. It can be very frustrating at times.

But then again, the whole day is planned for that one event, so we have all day, and plenty of things to do/play/talk about in the mean time.

Every once in a while they show up early, or on time.

We try not to make a big deal about it, because we are family for life. We could bicker about it and let it bother us. But if we did, we could call ourselves an "estranged" family.

Nobody is perfect, and we all have faults. Once we were listing things that we couldn't stand about another relative. Daddy overheard us, and firmly reminded us grown adults that he could make a longer list of things he can't stand about us!
Therefore, nothing but respect toward one another is allowed in our big family gatherings any more. It makes things alot more bearable.

We love each other regardless of our irritating shortcomings.
That is family

 

[Stacerita]

We have friends like that. She is a chronic late bird. No matter what. And its not like she has an excuse either. We figured out she just likes the attention and wants to be the one we all wait for. A few years back we all caught on and stopped waiting for her. If we were to meet at someone's house at 530 so we can do dinner at 6, thats exactly what we didi. Even if she didn't show up till 630. The first time she was mad. The next time she was upset. Eventually she got it in her head that we were not going to cater to her. She is now on time most of the time.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

You're a good child to not say something on Mother's Day. It's not a good day to point out how selfish she's being.

However, on any other day I wouldn't put up with it! I think I'd make a point of being later than her. It sounds like an hour and 15 minutes should do it.

Thank you. I tried and I tried but I couldn't help it. I told her I got her a watch.

I can't be late. If I am later then her I get nasty phone calls and the evil look. I'd rather be annoyed then deal with the look and phone calls.

I feel better that I'm not alone.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

My FIL and BIL are like this (guess it runs in the family). BIL and SIL were 1.5-hours late to THEIR OWN DINNER that I was hosting because they were shopping at the mall. We ate without them and let them warm it up in the micro when they made their cameo appearances.

Hope everything went well tonight regardless.

 

[momrek06]

BIL and SIL were 1.5-hours late to THEIR OWN DINNER .

Give me a break....YUP sounds just like my BIL/SIL, yes it does!!!!

 

[VanniGirl]

One of my closest friends is late all the time - she says time just gets away from her . One SIL is late all the time - we just go on without her and have her bring the dessert

 

[Marseeya]

I know so many people like this and it's so RUDE. I can't tell you how much it would bother me if I kept people waiting. How can anyone be so selfish? It's like they have this passive aggressive need for control or something.

DH has been getting bad lately, and I've had to nip it in the bud. If we'll be getting ready to go somewhere, I'll time myself so that I get out the door a few minutes early. As I'm getting ready, I'll tell him what phase I'm at so he can time himself appropriately ("I'm brushing my teeth," or "I'm putting my socks and shoes on"). It never fails that he'll sit at the computer playing a game until I'm finished getting ready, and then he'll get up and get himself ready while I'm waiting in the car.

What's up with that??? This is a relatively new thing and I have no idea why he's doing it.

 

[poohandwendy]

I hate waiting too. I try my best to be on time or a few minutes early. I think it is inconsiderate to be habitually late.

That said, I would definitely not make a big deal of it on Mother's day. (also, it could have been your fathers fault they were late, anyways)

 

[golfgal]

Chronically late people are just plain rude. I have a friend that is late for everything. I finally just leave without her or start eating or whatever it is that we are doing. She gets mad but oh well. The other day another friend called to see if I knew what was going on with this friend. Her DD had been invited to the late family's DD's birthday party and when the other friend went to drop off her DD, no one was there. I told her that knowing this other friend, she was just late. She was 1/2 hour late, just rude!

 

[DISUNC]

I've had friends like this in the past. Back in our single days, we actually had two that were like that. One however, would show up an half hour to an hour early, the other that time late. We learned eventually to give the early bird a later time (not letting her know about the earlier time) and gave the late fellow a much earlier time to be there. We found out things worked a lot better that way!

As someone who is ALWAYS ON TIME for everything.....This has worked for me also. Always tell the habitual "Tardiers" a much earlier time!!!!!

 

[sharbear]

I have a SIL/BIL who are always late. It used to bother me but life is too short and we go on with our lives. They are really bad. They funny thing is that her family is even later than her and it drives her crazy that her own family is late.

By late I mean hours and hours late. Also they might or might not show up or they might show up a day later. Like I said, once I accepted that they were not going to be dependable, it was better. We go on with our plans and if they are there fine.

The worst was Christmas one year. My MIL told us to be there at 12:30, that we would eat at 1. We busted out butts to get there on time. We live 2.5 hours away and didn't eat much breakfast because we were going to eat at one. We got there and my MIL didn't want the kids to open their presents until my SIL and family got there (they live 2 blocks from my IL's). The kids were little. My SIL and family shows up at 5 p.m.! I was so mad. Not only did my kids have to look at there presents for 4 hours, we were starving.

I never did that again. We show up when it's convenient for us. My MIL lets the kids open their presents when we get there and when the SIL/BIL shows up, great.

I do have to say that promptness is a very American custom. Most of the rest of the world is not prompt in my experience.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I have family too who have to be told to be somewhere an hour before they are actually supposed to be there. I want to know what makes them so special that everyone else has to cool their heels waiting on them. I can't stand people like that. It's quite obvious they can't see any further than the nose on their face and that they think are more important than anyone else.

Dh is on the verge of being like that. He's never in a hurry to go anywhere. Friday night is bowling league. He plays with DSis and BIL and they play on the base so we have to ride with them to get on base. League starts at 6 and DSis picks us up at 5:30. Dh will get home from work at 4pm, lay on the couch, play some POGO, take a nap and then at 5:20 finally get off the couch to go shower. Meanwhile, I've had everything ready since 5pm. DSis shows up and Dh is just getting dressed. They always have to wait 5 to 10 min for him to get ready. And every week when we get into it over this he insists they'll be 10 min late anyway (they were 10 min late 1 time 2 months ago). I love the man but that kind of behavior makes me really