vow renewal question

[SC Minnie]

I have a very good friend that is having a vow renewal in December. She is going all out for this-- big wedding dress, has asked me to be a bridesmaid (with the traditional bridesmaid dress) along with 4 or 5 others, big reception afterwards, etc.

She has adult children in their 40's and didn't have the big wedding all those years ago.

Anyway, my question is what is the etiquette as far as gifts? Do I give a gift like I would at a regular wedding?????

 

[Luvchefmic]

I have a very good friend that is having a vow renewal in December. She is going all out for this-- big wedding dress, has asked me to be a bridesmaid (with the traditional bridesmaid dress) along with 4 or 5 others, big reception afterwards, etc.

She has adult children in their 40's and didn't have the big wedding all those years ago.

Anyway, my question is what is the etiquette as far as gifts? Do I give a gift like I would at a regular wedding?????

I would with no hesitation...how sweet to hear this..really like a breath of fresh air in this society.. .how long have they been married?

 

[SC Minnie]

I would with no hesitation...how sweet to hear this..really like a breath of fresh air in this society.. .how long have they been married?

They have been married over 40 years. I don't know the exact number.

Any ideas on what to get a couple that has everything????

 

[Desnik]

I don't think you have to give a gift. It is a vow renewal, not a wedding, even though she is acting like it is.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I have NO clue...maybe ask one of their "kids" about a gift...yes its a vow renewal but it comes down to its actually a celbration of their love and you are in that bridal party so I can't see how you shouldn't give a gift

and Desnik out of curiousity I just clicked your link for your own wedding renewal (God bless you both for what you have gone through together) but its really strengthening my opinion...the people renewing their vows have been through life too....much longer than the avg makes it...Celebrate Everyone Celebrate

 

[snykymom]

Let's take the "wedding" out of it. Let's say the couple's kids were throwing their parents a 50th anniversary party. What would you get them?

That's what you should get them.

 

[arminnie]

Let's take the "wedding" out of it. Let's say the couple's kids were throwing their parents a 50th anniversary party. What would you get them?

That's what you should get them.

NOTHING! Every single couple I've known who have celebrated their 50th DID NOT want gifts. If you'd like to honor them make a donation to something that is important to them. People who have been married 50 years do not need any more "stuff". (unless their house burnt down or some other tragedy).

Gifts of cash are totally inappropriate for a vow renewal. That just comes off as a cash grab if the couple suggests it. You are celebrating their history not helping them get a start in life like at a wedding.

 

[phorsenuf]

I don't think you have to give a gift. It is a vow renewal, not a wedding, even though she is acting like it is.

Did you get any gifts at yours?

 

[mtemm]

I would probably go with a restaurant gift card and a good bottle of wine.

 

[MushyMushy]

This is so timely! A good friend of mine is doing a 20 year vow renewal in a month and I was going to post about what people thought we should give as a gift. I was a bridesmaid in her first wedding. Six months pregnant, to boot.

DH is going to sing for the ceremony and quoted her a really low price, but is going to just "give" it to them, but we'll still want to give them a gift.

 

[crz4mm2]

We did a vow renewal last year. Didn't really want gifts.... The kids got us a nice picture and a gift certificate to a restaurant we like.
I wouldn't have expected anything.

 

[Desnik]

Did you get any gifts at yours?

I made a point to tell everyone that they better not give us a gift! It was all family so I was able to say that to them all easily.. They all had the expense of going to Florida, and I just was so honored to have them celebrate with us, a gift was just not appropriate, IMO. However, a small amount of guests did give us a gift.

 

[ontariomonkey]

I think if you want to get a gift, think 'date night'. So a funny dvd in a gift basket with popcorn and candy or gift cert for a nice restaurant.

Or maybe a set of journals for them to write down their married-life memories. Or a set of stationary to write love notes to each other.

 

[phorsenuf]

I made a point to tell everyone that they better not give us a gift! It was all family so I was able to say that to them all easily.. They all had the expense of going to Florida, and I just was so honored to have them celebrate with us, a gift was just not appropriate, IMO. However, a small amount of guests did give us a gift.

What kind of things did they give you. maybe that will help the OP with ideas.

 

[MooGooGai]

To be honest, I find vow renewals tacky. It is one thing if you want to do it privately, but to invite a bunch of people just seems like a gift grab to me.

I keep thinking of that crazy-eyed Ramona from NYC Housewives and her vow renewal Talk about needing attention

My vows were meant to last a lifetime. NO need to renew them.

I would not get a gift for this.

 

[Desnik]

The gifts we got were specific to our Disney vow renewal. The wedding stuff Disney sells, like the bride Mickey/Minnie picture frame, photo album. My mom bought my dress. My grandparents put cash in a card. Sorry OP, I don't think this will help you very much! Since you said to take the "wedding" out and pretend it was just an anniversary party, then I would go with a gift card to their favorite restaurant.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't have a clue - but I think it's great that she's finally getting the big wedding she never had..