Volunteering At School Functions

[grinningghost]

Tonight I'm going to work at DD's post-prom party at her school. SUPPOSEDLY, I've got kitchen duty.

I say "supposedly", because not ONCE, in all the years of volunteering at school functions, have I ever truly done anything worthwhile. It always seems nobody knows what anyone is supposed to do, except a few select primadonnas, and they can't bother to give you the time of day when you ask what you should be doing.

Is it just me?

I enjoy volunteering, but I despise the discombobulation of it all.

 

[golfgal]

I can't say that I have ever experienced that. I usually do the duties I have signed up for. Sometimes I have gotten to something and they need more help in another area, but it isn't a confused mess or anything. I guess I usually enjoy working at school functions.

 

[grinningghost]

I can't say that I have ever experienced that. I usually do the duties I have signed up for. Sometimes I have gotten to something and they need more help in another area, but it isn't a confused mess or anything. I guess I usually enjoy working at school functions.

I wish I had the same experiences. I actually used to go to the PTA meetings where they would cry about nobody wanting to volunteer, and I'd shake my head and chuckle - of course nobody wants to volunteer, they get there and stand around looking stupid.

 

[flaps]

Flaps Fun with Ghost Post

Tonight I'm going to work. SUPPOSEDLY.

not ONCE, in all the years, have I ever truly done anything worthwhile. can't bother to give you the time of day when you ask.

me?

I despise it all.

Whoa! So, like, are you the King "of" Nothing, or are you just in need of a New Attitude?

 

[poohandwendy]

No, you are not alone. It is the exact same way here. A few primadonnas who not only take everything on but are constantly complaining that they 'do everything'. Of course, when you ask them what you can do to help (even beforehand), they can't think of anything that needs done...

It's frustrating.

 

[poohandwendy]

I wish I had the same experiences. I actually used to go to the PTA meetings where they would cry about nobody wanting to volunteer, and I'd shake my head and chuckle - of course nobody wants to volunteer, they get there and stand around looking stupid.

LOL, I don't even bother with the PTA meetings. It's like the meeting of the martyrs anyways.

 

[bonzarella]

I usually do the duties I signed for EXCEPT tonight. I've just spent about three hours cutting, shredding, cleaning pork for school Hog Roast. I would have much rather had the window duty I signed up for. One good thing by the time I left you couldn't have paid me to eat a pork sandwich Maybe I need to do this more often & get some pounds off

 

[DISUNC]

Tonight I'm going to work at DD's post-prom party at her school. SUPPOSEDLY, I've got kitchen duty.

I say "supposedly", because not ONCE, in all the years of volunteering at school functions, have I ever truly done anything worthwhile. It always seems nobody knows what anyone is supposed to do, except a few select primadonnas, and they can't bother to give you the time of day when you ask what you should be doing.

Is it just me?

I enjoy volunteering, but I despise the discombobulation of it all.

In every school there is the ONE harried, exasperated Mom with the clipboard running around frantically full of her own martydom!!!!!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

at my school it seemed a clique of moms did the the volunteering.
or at least did the work while the mothers they officially would have to ask would be left aside to stand there.


i stopped volunteering for that reason. they were worst than the kids cliques

i'm too old to be bothered with that crap!

 

[delilah]

In every school there is the ONE harried, exasperated Mom with the clipboard running around frantically full of her own martydom!!!!!

At our school, this would be the mom of one of my son's best friends. I like her as a person, but, I have explained to her that I can't really attend PRIDE meetings (which is our school's equivalent to PTA) because meetings are on
Tuesday evenings during the school year. My son, at the very least, has Cub Scout meetings on Tuesday evenings during the school year. To complicate matters, I am a physician and I am on call Tuesdays. I am not likely to be able to change my on-call evening (it is complicated and involves the hospital and the six other doctors in my practice), and the prime time for on-call problems and concerns is from 6-9 pm, which when these meetings are scheduled. This particular excuse is unique to my situation, because there are no other primary care physician moms at my son's school.

That said, I have told both the scout leader, my son's room mother, and the PRIDE mom that I would be very happy to help out on activities that are scheduled at times I can attend and am not on call, particularly Thursday, which is my day off. Sometimes, they send out a general request for volunteers. Two weeks ago, they requested drivers for a field trip on Friday. I had to work, so couldn't volunteer. The trip was to a parent's property at a state park in southern Indiana. Thursday, they had a field trip to the Indianapolis zoo, which was my day off. But, they didn't ask for volunteers. I guess more SAHMs wanted to go to the zoo than to the Brown county state park, eh? So, I volunteer when I can and when I'm asked, and don't sweat it.

 

[Mskanga]

I feel bad for you guys if you really have PTO's like you say to have , but realize that not all of them are like that. I am a PTO board member and I can tell you that it's a handfull of us , we work our butts off. Before I even became a board member , I never had a problem with them accepting my help on anything and I can tell you that we welcome any help we can get. We do our meetings at 7 pm at night so people can attend , sadly most times we have nobody showing up or maybe 1-2 people every now and then.
My oldest goes to another school this year , and I volunteer on that one as much as I can , no problems there either. Even when they don't tell me what exactly to do , I always find something.

 

[gina2000]

Well, let me give you a viewpoint from the other side. This may or may not be relevant to your school situation.

I have a friend who was the most capable, most open person in the PTO. She said hello to everyone. She included everyone. She begged everyone to become involved. Many, many people said no because of "the clique" that ran the PTO. My girlfriend was not part of that clique. Well, one year she was elected (much to the dismay of "the clique") co-president of the PTO. I was the other co and I was not, have never been and will never be part of any "clique".

My friend's mission was to get everyone involved. She invited people from every part of the playground. She called people. She helped people. The whole nine yards. She worked her butt off trying to get people involved. And then she went out and did her own work.

Guess what? The excuses poured in. Who didn't like whom. Who couldn't do something but didn't let you know til the 11th hour. Who would never work on THAT committee again because they didn't feel wanted. Who felt that they weren't respected. Who felt that their children were treated unfairly. Who only wanted to work with their children's classroom. Who wanted X and got Y. The list goes on and on.

Let me tell you something. It was a real lesson in human nature. People who help because they expect glory are in it for the wrong reason. The only reason anyone should be there is for THE CHILDREN - all of them, not just their own.

So keep this in mind if you volunteer. Yes, it's disorganized. Yes, it's sometimes cliqueish. It's cliqueish because people need to be able to depend on getting something done and if they've been burned too many times, they tend to use the same people over and over. It's not perfect. And very often it's catty, angst filled and ego crushing.

But if you are there for the children, all of that doesn't matter. Go, do what can be done. Find things to do. Make it your mission to make your child's school a better place despite the garbaaage. You'll feel better about volunteering and better about what gets done.

 

[Galahad]

I do a lot of school volunteering and thankfully we are generally pretty organized. Our problem is that we generally don't get enough volunteers to do what we need. We have calling trees etc. but it's really hard to get folks to help out. It ends up being the same few parents that do in-fact do everything. And believe me if someone asked how they can help I'd be all over that. The martyr thing does get old. Many of us that do a lot of work at the school take time off work or work at the school nights or weekends. But the SAHM often have more time so they spend more time volunteering. It's frustrating to hear some of them complain that they do "more than so-and-so" when "so-and-so" worked 50 hours at their job this week and still spent all day Saturday at the school.

 

[agnes!]

I'm thinking of signing on as the co-president of the choir boosters at my DD's school. Nobody else has stepped forward, except (sort of) my friend & I. The kids try so hard & some of the groups are *really* good. (I'm not just saying this as a mom, but as a performer myself.)
It's discouraging though...maybe 4 or 6 people show up to the boosters meetings - there are over 200 kids in this middle school's choirs. Plus the adults who talk loudly during concerts or who answer their cell phones and THEN proceed to have a conversation or who get up and leave *IN THE MIDDLE* of another group's presentation because their kid's group has finished.

I guess the reason wonder why some of the kids can't seem to behave is fairly obvious...

agnes!

 

[wdwfam]

Gina2000 said it exactly as it is. Well worded! I am in my last two weeks of volunteering at school after 16 years. Right now I am trying to pull together a list of volunteers to work the Senior All Night Party, and I have one excuse after another why they can't work the shift they are assigned. Of course, after all these years in the school system, the ones bowing out are the ones who don't ever volunteer for anything anyway. Not sure why I expected them to follow through, even though they signed up to help.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I was asked to be on the PTA board for the next two years and I jumped at the chance. I've already had conversations with the other board members about getting parents involved. At Open House night I signed my name on many of the lists. Got called only once after I practically begged this woman to help her sell raffle tickets after church on Sunday (catholic school).
I tried to volunteer for the christmas party but the class mom told me that she had planned on being class mom for years (this is kindergarten) and she didn't need help. Oh, but since she wasn't crafty could I make a craft and send it in with the instructions and materials and she would do it with the kids. I told her that I would come and do the craft. She looked me square in the eye and said "But you work. Why would you take the day off?" Ummmmm, because she's my kid. I'd do anything for my kid. She told me that Sister didn't want two parents in the room so I couldn't come. Hmmmmm, after having multiple conversations with this woman I'm thinking I was lied to. She complained one time and I put her back in her place telling her that I offered her assistance EVERY time and she turned me down. She shut right up.

I know how you feel.

 

[va32h]

I resigned from the PTA after too many similar experiences. The last straw was when I volunteered to work the book fair. I arrived at my scheduled time, and stood around doing nothing, while two other members sat at the check-out table and talked, ignoring me. So I talked to some of the kids, helped them choose books, etc.

Then I heard the other two members talking about how they had been there all morning and were starved and wanted to go to lunch. So I said I'd be happy to handle things while they went to get something to eat.

After much hemming and hawing, it came out that they did not want to leave me in charge of the cashbox. I cannot fathom what possible reason those women could have had for thinking I would run off with the book fair money (consisting mainly of checks written to the PTA).

But they did say I could go and fetch them lunch! I lost my temper and said "Are you sure you can trust me not to steal your lunch money, too?" and walked out. That was my last interaction with any of the members.

Childish, I know, but I felt really insulted.

 

[LVSWL]

Well, let me give you a viewpoint from the other side. This may or may not be relevant to your school situation.

I have a friend who was the most capable, most open person in the PTO. She said hello to everyone. She included everyone. She begged everyone to become involved. Many, many people said no because of "the clique" that ran the PTO. My girlfriend was not part of that clique. Well, one year she was elected (much to the dismay of "the clique") co-president of the PTO. I was the other co and I was not, have never been and will never be part of any "clique".

My friend's mission was to get everyone involved. She invited people from every part of the playground. She called people. She helped people. The whole nine yards. She worked her butt off trying to get people involved. And then she went out and did her own work.

Guess what? The excuses poured in. Who didn't like whom. Who couldn't do something but didn't let you know til the 11th hour. Who would never work on THAT committee again because they didn't feel wanted. Who felt that they weren't respected. Who felt that their children were treated unfairly. Who only wanted to work with their children's classroom. Who wanted X and got Y. The list goes on and on.

Let me tell you something. It was a real lesson in human nature. People who help because they expect glory are in it for the wrong reason. The only reason anyone should be there is for THE CHILDREN - all of them, not just their own.

So keep this in mind if you volunteer. Yes, it's disorganized. Yes, it's sometimes cliqueish. It's cliqueish because people need to be able to depend on getting something done and if they've been burned too many times, they tend to use the same people over and over. It's not perfect. And very often it's catty, angst filled and ego crushing.

But if you are there for the children, all of that doesn't matter. Go, do what can be done. Find things to do. Make it your mission to make your child's school a better place despite the garbaaage. You'll feel better about volunteering and better about what gets done.

Very well said! It is much easier to sit back and criticize than just roll up your shirtsleeves and pitch in. None of us went to school for classroom volunteering, but as this post says, it is about the CHILDREN and their SCHOOL and sometimes their TEACHERS not US. Get over it. It means alot to your kids to see you helping out at their school and it also helps you get to know the kids and teachers that they spend half of their day with. We all have to work within our own schedules and limitations, but if you really want to be involved you will find a way.

 

[Stitchfans]

Tonight I'm going to work at DD's post-prom party at her school. SUPPOSEDLY, I've got kitchen duty.

I say "supposedly", because not ONCE, in all the years of volunteering at school functions, have I ever truly done anything worthwhile. It always seems nobody knows what anyone is supposed to do, except a few select primadonnas, and they can't bother to give you the time of day when you ask what you should be doing.

Is it just me?

I enjoy volunteering, but I despise the discombobulation of it all.

oh yeah, been there, done that. I know exactly what you are talking about. Just yesterday when we went to Medieval Times all the primadonnas stood in one corner chatting while the other non popular just like me chubby mom and I grouped up together and talked.

Cliques, cligues and more cliques.

 

[Marseeya]

Being a no-nonsense type of person, I don't put up with that clique BS and don't get involved with it. Instead, I find other ways to help. One thing I did that I really loved was a program called "reading partners" where we went into the schools and sat and read with struggling readers. I'd also offer directly to the teacher to be available for assistance and things like that. It always worked really well with the exception of ONE year when the teacher allowed one particular mother to take over, and then it became a popularity contest.