Volunteering At School Functions

[LVSWL]

I resigned from the PTA after too many similar experiences. The last straw was when I volunteered to work the book fair. I arrived at my scheduled time, and stood around doing nothing, while two other members sat at the check-out table and talked, ignoring me. So I talked to some of the kids, helped them choose books, etc.

Then I heard the other two members talking about how they had been there all morning and were starved and wanted to go to lunch. So I said I'd be happy to handle things while they went to get something to eat.

After much hemming and hawing, it came out that they did not want to leave me in charge of the cashbox. I cannot fathom what possible reason those women could have had for thinking I would run off with the book fair money (consisting mainly of checks written to the PTA).

But they did say I could go and fetch them lunch! I lost my temper and said "Are you sure you can trust me not to steal your lunch money, too?" and walked out. That was my last interaction with any of the members.

Childish, I know, but I felt really insulted.

In our PTA only Board members are allowed to handle money. Perhaps that was the reason they were hesitant. Many of our board members work long hours at fairs and activities for that very reason because someone cannot relieve them other than another board member. It is written in the bylaws. Maybe you were just being too sensitive.

 

[poohandwendy]

In our PTA only Board members are allowed to handle money. Perhaps that was the reason they were hesitant. Many of our board members work long hours at fairs and activities for that very reason because someone cannot relieve them other than another board member. It is written in the bylaws. Maybe you were just being too sensitive.

If that were the case, they could have just said that, unless they have some super-secret oath to maintain some strict confidentiality of the bylaws, LOL.

I would have been put off too. The issue I have is offering to help, being there to help (not only on time, but early), buying and bringing whatever is necessary and then being told there is nothing for me to do while one or two people run around like chicken with their heads cut off acting like they are forced to do everything.

When that happens, I always do what other people mention, help and interact with the kids. I am there for the kids, not the parent drama.

 

[georgina]

I've been on both sides of this. When my first child got into school, I did avoid the PTO meetings because I didn't know the group and they seemed cliquish. After a while I did more volunteering, and got to be known as someone who would show up and work. After 11 years in elementary school (Yay! almost done!) I think a lot has to do with the friendliness of the leadership, but also there are times when volunteers are unreliable and they tend to pick people they know they can count on. Just this year I tried to volunteer at the middle school and found the same thing - leaders unwilling to give me much responsibility because they didn't know me. I just started with little jobs for now.

I do know as a Girl Scout leader and someone who has done fund raising, it has been difficult to get volunteers to help, even for a few hours here and there. It is very frustrating.

 

[Marseeya]

In our PTA only Board members are allowed to handle money. Perhaps that was the reason they were hesitant. Many of our board members work long hours at fairs and activities for that very reason because someone cannot relieve them other than another board member. It is written in the bylaws. Maybe you were just being too sensitive.

If that had been the case, then there's no reason that they couldn't have gone to lunch individually, leaving one behind to work with the volunteer.

I'd be offended too, if I showed up to help with the kids, only to be asked to run a personal errand for another volunteer.

 

[Keli]

Sometimes church functions are a lot like that too IMHO. I've found a solution for both of them. I just walk in, ask where they need help, if they give my vague answers or no answer then I just find something that needs to be done and do it without permission.

That either irritates the person in charge enough so they give me some other job or they like it and let me go. If anyone I know seems to be floating around lost, looking for something to do I feel free to say "Hey, no ones sitting food out on the counter for serving yet, do you want to do that?" or something else along those lines. I tend to get grateful looks from them and they usually rush to do whatever I suggested. This kind of action will often make the person in charge step up to the plate and do their job properly by delegating the work they took volunteers for in the first place.

I figure if someone asked me to help and I took time out of my schedule to do work for them then I'm going to do it. BTW, I never use these tactics when the leader gives me any type of job. But I'm not making a special trip somewhere to volunteer for a job and then stand around doing nothing.

 

[disykat]

I've seen it from both sides. I had a hard time volunteering my first year - they didn't seem to need my help. I did volunteer the next year and ended up as PTA President the next. (Gina above could be my friend!) I spent the year trying to be all inclusive and friendly to all volunteers. My main goal was to increase volunteers and retrain the PTA to work via committees, not one small group doing everything. It was very tough - buit it was working. I had tons of volunteers, but to be fair, reliability of those volunteers was an issue at times. I had a volunteer notebook, sign ups on a bulletin board, an e-mail chain, a quarterly newsletter, and announcements in the twice a month school newsletter about volunteer opportunities.

The next year I chose not to hold an office because we were planning to move. I told them I would be willing to help with anything right up until the date we moved, I just couldn't be in charge. Well, the move fell through. It's been a few years and I rarely have a chance to volunteer for PTA. The group took back over and they don't ask for volunteers (though they do whine about doing it all). Everything I set up is nonexisitant except the volunteer notebook - much of which is still the same set of outdated names I collected.

I understand from experience that sometimes it's just easier to do things yourself, but honestly don't get why they won't even let me volunteer - when they know I'm reliable and already know the ropes. Some people really do want to be recognized as the one who does it all.

 

[cakesnkids]

As secretary of our PTA I am going to put it bluntly, nothing will EVER change unless YOU change it. I beg weekly for volunteers, but do it all myself anyway b/c noone helps. In a school with 500 students the volunteer bank is 20, but the SAHM ratio is around 50%. There ARE no primadonnas at our school, they are not allowed....
So, please don't lump all PTAers together as a "bunch of martyrs". This year, after Katrina, PTA was what got our school back together, and AWESOME PTA groups around the country were there for us with open arms when we needed them. We managed to put together grants and donations to rebuild our playgrounds and build a $10,000 shade structure to replace our trees when the school board wouldn't do ANYTHING for us, nor would the state. I guess this is my soapbox b/c I had a mother tell me, "I would never be on PTA, you have to do to much" BUT..if EACH PERSON did one thing, then ONE person would not have to do everything.
Stepping down off my soapbox now.

 

[poohandwendy]

So, please don't lump all PTAers together as a "bunch of martyrs".

I do not think anyone here has lumped all PTAers into any group. Many of use are members of the PTA and will continue to be for the children, even if we have some issues with other members we have encountered locally.

 

[Planogirl]

I can see both sides. From my perspective, I have tried to sign up to help. There is no way to just show up to do things at our school as tightly controlled as it is. I have never been called back to help and I did fully intend to participate. I've given up volunteering in any manner because what is the point if you're always excluded?

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My DS goes to a Catholic grade school now, so all volunteering is greatly appreciated. They even had a prayer service for us last week that DS spoke at with coffee and doughnuts after.

DS and DD will go to the same school as Pooh and Wendy's kids. And I definetly know what she stated is true. I have a friend who has a DS in 2nd grade and its already like that in the elementary school.

Oh boy!

 

[buddy&wooz]

In my (so far) 12 years of volunteering (or trying to volunteer) with various school groups, I'm another one who has seen both sides. I've been the one who's left with nothing to do because a clique of moms is doing it all, and I've been the one asking someone to do something and getting an excuse why she can't (my favorite, I was helping run the teacher appreciation luncheon and asked a volunteer mom to help me get water for the chafing dishes from the school cafeteria. She said she was afraid of the custodian (who was a nice helpful young man, he held the door for me everytime I went back for more water...) and she flat out refused. All she did was put out paper plates and cups then she "had to run!")

I've been figuring out ways to help out without having to deal with other parents. I sign up when the school or teacher requests volunteers, rather than the PTO- I'm more likely to get used. I also sign up for very specific one person tasks, which explains why I'm currently the treasurer for two groups. I don't even like numbers! But even this isn't perfect- I still have to try to get checks & receipts from people and that's harder than getting people to volunteer .

 

[Disney Doll]

In our PTA only Board members are allowed to handle money. Perhaps that was the reason they were hesitant. Many of our board members work long hours at fairs and activities for that very reason because someone cannot relieve them other than another board member. It is written in the bylaws. Maybe you were just being too sensitive.

Then the PTO member should have said that. They could have said "we aren't allowe dto leave the cash box with anyone who is not a PTO officer". Then I am sure the poster would have been happy to help them by getting their lunch.

 

[DISUNC]

Slightly !

Has anyone seen the new show "The New Adventures of Old Christine"???
On the show there are the 2 regular characters that Christine runs into all the time. They are very typical "clickish(?) PTA Moms", VERY VERY FUNNY STUFF!

BTW the show is a HOOT also!

 

[grinningghost]

Just an update. It was the same old thing. Got there, nobody had a clue what anyone was supposed to do. The primadonnas took over doing everything, while the rest of us stood around and looked stupid.

I'm so over school volunteer work this time.