minkydog
DIS Cast Member
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2004
- Messages
- 16,922
We live about 400 miles from our families. My mother lives about 2hrs away from my SIL, but they are both on the Gulf Coast. Therefore when we go visit it is a long trip for us and we don't do it very often. My 73yo mother welcomes us with open arms--"mi casa es su casa" has always been her motto. My in-laws,on the other hand, give me the itches.
When we go home to visit we have always stayed with my 52yo SIL at her insistence(MIL lives in a nursing home.) She has no kids. She married a nice man 2 years ago who is down-right anal about keeping his house clean. Therefore, when we visit he literally walks around behind us cleaning up our "messes." He complains if they turn on the TV. Yet they can't play outside because it might mess up the grass.
Neither one of them takes the kids anywhere or tries to do anything with them.
My kids are 19, 12, and 10. The two older ones mind well and have good manners. They eat at the table and put their dishes in the sink. They try to be as unobtrusive as possible when we visit and it's almost painful to watch.
The 10yo is severely mentally handicapped and autistic, so it's like caring for a 90lb 1yo--very active from daylight to dark. He doesn't play with toys, chews on CD cases, and only watches one video--"Fantasia". Needless to say, he drives the in-laws crazy. The only thing that helps calm him down is walking. So when we visit them I spend a lot of time walking the boy, morning, noon, and night.
We went to visit for three days before Thanksgiving.
My DH was having a hard time breathing(he has stage 4 lung disease) so he couldn't help with DS10, and stayed in bed much of the visit. Neither my SIL nor BIL lifted a finger to help with him. He's a big kid and needs physical assistance all day long. My other kids helped as much as possible, but they were getting pretty exhausted too(not to mention bored and antsy from to trying to be quiet and invisible.) By the middle of the third day I was frantic to get out of there. As we drove down the road my DH turned to me and said,"They just don't get it." After we left their house we drove to my mother's. She took one look at me(no shower, wrinkled clothing) and knew the whole story. She put DH to bed, put me in the shower, turned on "Fantasia" and let DS19 play his electirc guitar while DD12 set up a cookie-making shoppe.
We have decided that this was our last overnight visit with the in-laws. They will not understand.We feel obligated to go see his mother, as she is frail. If his sister wishes to see us, they can come up to Atlanta. We love them dearly, but the price is too high.
Cathy--feels better after getting that off her chest
When we go home to visit we have always stayed with my 52yo SIL at her insistence(MIL lives in a nursing home.) She has no kids. She married a nice man 2 years ago who is down-right anal about keeping his house clean. Therefore, when we visit he literally walks around behind us cleaning up our "messes." He complains if they turn on the TV. Yet they can't play outside because it might mess up the grass.
Neither one of them takes the kids anywhere or tries to do anything with them. My kids are 19, 12, and 10. The two older ones mind well and have good manners. They eat at the table and put their dishes in the sink. They try to be as unobtrusive as possible when we visit and it's almost painful to watch.
The 10yo is severely mentally handicapped and autistic, so it's like caring for a 90lb 1yo--very active from daylight to dark. He doesn't play with toys, chews on CD cases, and only watches one video--"Fantasia". Needless to say, he drives the in-laws crazy. The only thing that helps calm him down is walking. So when we visit them I spend a lot of time walking the boy, morning, noon, and night.
We went to visit for three days before Thanksgiving.
My DH was having a hard time breathing(he has stage 4 lung disease) so he couldn't help with DS10, and stayed in bed much of the visit. Neither my SIL nor BIL lifted a finger to help with him. He's a big kid and needs physical assistance all day long. My other kids helped as much as possible, but they were getting pretty exhausted too(not to mention bored and antsy from to trying to be quiet and invisible.) By the middle of the third day I was frantic to get out of there. As we drove down the road my DH turned to me and said,"They just don't get it." After we left their house we drove to my mother's. She took one look at me(no shower, wrinkled clothing) and knew the whole story. She put DH to bed, put me in the shower, turned on "Fantasia" and let DS19 play his electirc guitar while DD12 set up a cookie-making shoppe.We have decided that this was our last overnight visit with the in-laws. They will not understand.We feel obligated to go see his mother, as she is frail. If his sister wishes to see us, they can come up to Atlanta. We love them dearly, but the price is too high.
Cathy--feels better after getting that off her chest
