Very upset...need advice...UPDATE..surgery is cancelled!

[luvintink7]

We recently learned that Dh needs surgery for an injury. A few months ago the Dr. told him the recovery would be 6 weeks. He will not be able to work during this recovery. Yesterday he had a Dr. appointment and the Dr. said he did not realize what his occupation was and told us it will actually be 3 and a half months befor he can go back to work. We are only prepared financially to have him off work for 6 weeks. DH will not be paid while he is off work. The Dr. said we have until 10am this morning to decide if we will go ahead with the surgery. The only way we can make it financially is if we take money out of the 401k. He IS able to work with this injury, although there is a chance that he could do more damage. Our only option is to wait intil next fall to give us time to save more money. I feel terrible. I slept about two hours last night, I am so upset. I know he wants to get this done, yet he is telling me he will wait. I can try and get another job on nights and weekends, but that may or may not happen. I just feel so bad.

 

[sydneysmom]

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I know what a strain you must be feeling. My question though is why is your doctor giving you an "until 10:30 today" deadline ? that kind of raises red flags to me. Surgery isn't something you make a snap decision about unless it's life saving. So personally, I would get a second opinion and make certain that this is something that is completely necessary and research the rehab time. Please don't let the doctor bully you into making that kind of desision under a time limit. Your DH's health is worth getting a second opinion about. (I'd ask the doctor what the extreme hurry to make a decision is all about !!....sounds weird to me) Good luck to you both and I hope he has a speedy recovery !

 

[luvintink7]

DH is schedualed to have his surgery on Monday. The Dr. said he needs to know so he can schedual someone else in this spot. He said he is booked until April. DH does seasonal work and HAS to do this now or in the late fall when work slows down. I am not pleased with the Dr. who is supossed to be the "best" in the area. DH's busy season starts in March. I am just sick over this whole thing. I need a crystal ball.

 

[java]

Hard to say without knowing what the surgery is for. If it's something that can wait without worsening the situation I say it's a no brainer to wait. If it's something urgent that is needed right now- then do it now.

I am sorry to hear about it all though and I imagine it must be very stressful.

 

[sarah4770]

I think that if he holds off, and possibly does more damage, and is unable to work, then where will you be? Health is more important than money. period.

 

[msmayor]

No disability insurance?

 

[Shmily1]

Not that this is comparable because I don't know, but DSS had surgery on 12/4 to fuse some vertibrae in his neck. He was told they were surprised that the was still walking because it should have already paralyzed him. Otherwise, I'm sure he would not have had the surgery. Anyway, they had told him he would be out 6 weeks to 6 months, depending on how he did with it. He told the Dr. that he could only be out 4 weeks then he would be worried about his finances. The Dr. said "we'll see about that, but be planning for atleast 6 weeks". He followed the Dr's instructions and he goes back to work tomorrow. He is so happy and feels so much better!! Their thinking was that if he does more damage and is paralyzed, he can't work at all and will be broke for sure. It's better to get it fixed and miss some money now than all the money later.

Good luck with whatever he does.

 

[eyor44]

Praying for you and your DH. These decisions are hard, but better to take care of something now, then wait. The problem could get worse. Yes, you may have to make sacrifices now, but your DH is worth it.

 

[gacompguy]

Some doctors are more prone to want to do surgery than others. The simple fact is that cutting is more profitable for them than pain killers and physical therapy. Personally, unless it was an emergency, I wouldn't have any major surgery without getting a second opinion.

As for being "the best" in the area... that is totally relative. How is he the best? Does he have the best outcomes? Does he have the most patients in the area? Does he have the fastest recoveries? Just because people say a doctor is the best at something doesn't mean he/she is the best doctor for you.

I had a family member that has to see a neurologist regularly. The one she was seeing was supposedly "the best" in the area. If you needed surgery or had headache problems, he was the best person to see. However, he had an absolutely horrible bedside manner and didn't really understand her condition. He referred her to another neurologist for a test before scheduling brain surgery. As it turns out, the second neurologist just happened to specialize in that particular condition she has and simply changed her medication. Thus, no brain surgery. If she had gotten a second opinion earlier, she probably could have saved herself some hardship.

 

[punkin]

My DH recently had emergency knee surgery. There was no choice in the matter. He fell down on ice and completely ripped a tendon. He could not stand or walk and he was in terrible pain. It is now 4 weeks post-op and cannot drive or bend his knee more than 30 degrees. The doctor does not anticipate him being back to 100% for another 6 months.

If DH's job was physical in the least, he would have had to take long term disability. As he sits at a computer all day, he was able to go back to work on a modified schedule (including working form home) within a week.

I have no real advice for you because I don't know the details of your situation, but I would go ahead and do what needs to be done now, during the slow season, rather than wait until your DH is in so much pain that you have no choice. Good luck to you husband.

 

[luvintink7]

The Dr said his MRI suggests a small tear in the rotater cuff. The scary thing for us is that he has a landscaping business and it gets really busy in the spring. He works alone, no empoyees. We figured six weeks would take us through Febuary and then he would be OK to go to work. Not so, Dr. said he can't work untill mid April. Had we known this the first time he saw the Dr. we could have planned better. He currently has full use of his arm and does not really have alot of pain. It has gotten MUCH better then when he first injured it. He has continued to be treated by a chiropractor for it and that seems to be helping. I do not like this Dr. at all. He was more worried about filling the surgery spot on Monday, then he was about our situation. If we seek a second opinion we definatley have to wait until the fall. We will lose alot of work if he can't work in March. It is so stressful. I know his health is the most important thing, but having a roof over myfamilies head is also. I have alot of financial obligations.

 

[punkin]

The Dr said his MRI suggests a small tear in the rotater cuff. The scary thing for us is that he has a landscaping business and it gets really busy in the spring. He works alone, no empoyees. We figured six weeks would take us through Febuary and then he would be OK to go to work. Not so, Dr. said he can't work untill mid April. Had we known this the first time he saw the Dr. we could have planned better. He currently has full use of his arm and does not really have alot of pain. It has gotten MUCH better then when he first injured it. He has continued to be treated by a chiropractor for it and that seems to be helping. I do not like this Dr. at all. He was more worried about filling the surgery spot on Monday, then he was about our situation. If we seek a second opinion we definatley have to wait until the fall. We will lose alot of work if he can't work in March. It is so stressful. I know his health is the most important thing, but having a roof over myfamilies head is also. I have alot of financial obligations.

Wait a minute...does this doc even KNOW what is going on or is it just based on a "suggestion" of a problem? If you do not trust this guy, please get a second opinion...if it is not an immediate problem, maybe waiting 'till fall is your best option but you won't know until you speak to someone with more medical knowledge than DIS posters have.

 

[mjkacmom]

The Dr said his MRI suggests a small tear in the rotater cuff. The scary thing for us is that he has a landscaping business and it gets really busy in the spring. He works alone, no empoyees. We figured six weeks would take us through Febuary and then he would be OK to go to work. Not so, Dr. said he can't work untill mid April. Had we known this the first time he saw the Dr. we could have planned better. He currently has full use of his arm and does not really have alot of pain. It has gotten MUCH better then when he first injured it. He has continued to be treated by a chiropractor for it and that seems to be helping. I do not like this Dr. at all. He was more worried about filling the surgery spot on Monday, then he was about our situation. If we seek a second opinion we definatley have to wait until the fall. We will lose alot of work if he can't work in March. It is so stressful. I know his health is the most important thing, but having a roof over myfamilies head is also. I have alot of financial obligations.

I would wait - taking money out of a 401K is the LAST resort! If he's not in severe pain, I think a tear could wait. I was in PT all summer for a knee injury - I refused an MRI, only because it's not too bad, and I wouldn't bother having surgery for it (I'm not running a marathon, and I have 5 kids to care for). My therapist said that I most likely have a tear, but people live with them all of the time, if they don't hurt too much.

 

[luvintink7]

Dr. told us that he is 90% sure that he will need a repair. IF we are in the 10% he gets in there and there is no tear, then the recovery is minimal, a couple of weeks at the most. I am leaning toward having a second MRI and a second opinion. But I would just feel horrible if I told DH to wait and something happened to him. I could never live with that. I am so worried about him. He is still working and claims it is not hurting him.

 

[snowbunny]

I do not like this Dr. at all. He was more worried about filling the surgery spot on Monday, then he was about our situation.

Put off the surgery, continue the physical therapy or chiropracter work, and find another physician.

 

[wdwfan16]

The Dr said his MRI suggests a small tear in the rotater cuff. The scary thing for us is that he has a landscaping business and it gets really busy in the spring. He works alone, no empoyees. We figured six weeks would take us through Febuary and then he would be OK to go to work. Not so, Dr. said he can't work untill mid April. Had we known this the first time he saw the Dr. we could have planned better. He currently has full use of his arm and does not really have alot of pain. It has gotten MUCH better then when he first injured it. He has continued to be treated by a chiropractor for it and that seems to be helping. I do not like this Dr. at all. He was more worried about filling the surgery spot on Monday, then he was about our situation. If we seek a second opinion we definatley have to wait until the fall. We will lose alot of work if he can't work in March. It is so stressful. I know his health is the most important thing, but having a roof over myfamilies head is also. I have alot of financial obligations.

How much mobility does he have with his arm. My friend had rotator cuff surgery and it was over 3 months until he had full range of motion back. He had to wear the arm support for 6 weeks and then did 3 months of therapy. If you rip it after the surgery before it is heal he was told it may not be able to fix and you could end up with a frozen shoulder. My friend was able to return to work after a week. He has a desk job.

If your DH is not in too much pain and can do his job with the shoulder the way it is then I would delay it until the fall. Give him the time he needs for recovery.

 

[raenyny]

No disability insurance?

I was thinking the same thing...why not go to your local disability office and apply for temporary disability I could never make my husband wait for surgery that a dr felt was necessary if you wait and it is worse wouldn't he in turn need even more time off...I just thinking waiting would snowball the entire thing.

 

[raenyny]

I just reread and saw what his injury was and have to tell you I know a lot of physical therapists and recently discussed this with 2 of them due to my mom being told something similar. Her dog took her down and she sustained a rotator cuff injury. The dr keeps telling her she needs surgery when speaking with the physical therapist who do different therapy than the chiropractor they said therapy should always be the first option that depending on age and situation surgery may never be necessary. Try switching from the chiro to a pt and that may make the difference maybe the surgery could even be avoided.

 

[luvintink7]

I was thinking the same thing...why not go to your local disability office and apply for temporary disability I could never make my husband wait for surgery that a dr felt was necessary if you wait and it is worse wouldn't he in turn need even more time off...I just thinking waiting would snowball the entire thing.

I would never "make" my husband wait, the decision is really his to make. I have been doing some research online and have found this:

"Many rotator cuff tears can be treated nonsurgically. Anti-inflammatory medication, steroid injections, and physical therapy may all be of benefit in treating symptoms of a cuff tear. The goals of treatment are to relieve pain and restore strength to the involved shoulder.

Even though a tear cannot heal without surgery, satisfactory function can often be achieved without surgery."

The Dr. never suggested ANYTHING other then surgery. DH went to the chiroparacter on his own. This has me wondering even more now.

 

[msmayor]

I was thinking the same thing...why not go to your local disability office and apply for temporary disability I could never make my husband wait for surgery that a dr felt was necessary if you wait and it is worse wouldn't he in turn need even more time off...I just thinking waiting would snowball the entire thing.

Well I suspect that after additional information was posted by the OP, this is not going to be possible.

Solo worker...perhaps his own company and no employees. My guess is he hasn't been paying into the disability fund, which means none is available unless a private disability policy was purchased.

OP...I realize too late for this now...but when your DH gets this resolved PLEASE find room in your budget for disability insurance. Its one of the single most important pieces of financial security a family can have in place, yet so many go without thinking they can't afford it. You can't afford NOT to have it.