Venting - borrowed baby clothes.

[ilandrazdsw]

I would never expect baby clothes to be given back - and I'd never think to give back clothes given to me, since people give away clothes because they have no use for them.

Mjkacmom, not addressing you personaly.

I live in a rather small community where many people are related in one way or another (6 degrees of separation has been shortened to about 4 degrees ). I was never fortunate enough to receive hand-me-downs for my DS or DD (I was the first in DH's family to have children & I am an outsider); however I passed on DS clothes to BIL/SIL. Whatever I wanted back I put initials in and asked he to keep them or give them back when their son outgrew them so they didn't have to store them, but I did realize that babies are "messy" so not ever outfit would come back as I had left it or possibly at all. When I found out DD was a girl (the cousins are 5 months apart) I told SIL that except for the infant gender neutral onesies/sleepers she could do as she pleases with the clothes. I no longer pass DS' clothes to SIL (for other reasons), but anyone I offer his clothes to always asks if we want them back (unless they have already asked and know the answer) even knowing that we will not be having any more children. This also goes for toys...NO! We don't want Elmo back!!!

OP, if you have the time and the bins are your, I'd ask (tell) DSis if you could go through the clothes. You can take anything that you know without a doubt was yours and rebox everything else. Then you get your storage containers back too!

 

[ashlansmom]

Frankly, maybe your sister is expecting again and no one knows yet, and she doesn't want to give back the clothes because SHE will be needing them?

Just a thought.

I think it's a little wierd that if everyone in the family knew that the younger sibs would want the clothes, that your sis would get rid of them. Hopefully there is another explanation to why she is stalling.

I trade maternity clothes AND baby clothes back and forth with my very good friends, always with the understanding that they are being LENT, because none of us are done having kids yet.

I hope your sis either comes around, or your BFF ends up with so many things from her shower, that the whole thing is a mute point anyway!

 

[badblackpug]

I'm the mom that you DON'T want to return the clothes. Seriously, my kids are slobs! They can't eat a thing without spilling it down the front of them! You can, literally, guess their menu's from the whole day by the stains on their shirts! Arrggh! It makes me insane!

 

[dogluva]

I'm the mom that you DON'T want to return the clothes. Seriously, my kids are slobs! They can't eat a thing without spilling it down the front of them! You can, literally, guess their menu's from the whole day by the stains on their shirts! Arrggh! It makes me insane!

Oh, I hear you. My kids kill clothes. I have two boys born one year apart and I couldn't even get two kids out of some. Whatever.

I guess I am not sentimental-I don't want dirty clothes back, epecially when five kids went throught them.

That is what yard sales are for if I was that desperate or walmart.

 

[crisi]

Maybe "I don't want to deal with it right now" means "I don't want to deal with it right now." Is your sister having a rough time? - three year olds can run you ragged. Is her marriage OK? Finances and jobs? Health? Or maybe your sister, knowing she had a lot of time before your younger sisters had kids, put those bins the the back corner of the basement and is simply thinking "oh, God, those are under all the Christmas stuff....and the camping stuff....its going to take half an hour just to dig out those bins."

I saved a lot of baby clothes for my sister - and when my sister's oldest was finally born its a good thing my mother took charge of getting the clothes out of my house, sorted, and to my sister. Because I honestly just "didn't want to deal with it" at that point in time - I had two little kids at home, a full time job, a husband working a lot of hours - I just didn't want to take time to go through the clothes.

 

[Wunderkind]

I don't mean to sound like a jerk here, but are these baby clothes made with the same fabric they use for space-suits? I have two kids and even the better brands (Gymboree, Gap, Osh Kosh, etc) do wear out after a while. If your child is the first in line to use them and your sister's son the second, I would give the clothes may be one more home before they have to go in the recycling bin or the trash. Or is it the case my kids were the only baby slobs in the world? I've given some of their stuff to family members (without the expectation of ever seeing them again). Other pieces have gone to the consignment shop, Ebay, or Goodwill.

Whatever you do consider what's most important to you. The baby clothes or your relationship with your sister? That's my 2 cents.

 

[dakjoskaimiksmom]

I passed everything on to my sisters' kids, unless it was something of sentimental value. From my oldest ds, I saved a whole set for my first future grandchild (matching gown, pj's, receiving blanket and hat). With my dd, I saved a few of her cutest baby dresses. With my youngest, I saved a pair of pj's my army sis bought him in Ireland. And, of course, all 4 Christening gowns. Everything else went to either my nephews or Goodwill.


One thing that drives ME nuts is that my SIL keeps giving me clothes from her ds6. He's the same size as my ds7, and I know the clothes will be WAY outdated by the time ds3 grows into them. They're not just jeans or shirts--they're always the latest fad-type deals. I quit saving the stuff and just started dropping them off at Goodwill.

She doesn't expect any of them back, after our stroller fiasco. She "gave" us a stroller for ds3, then found out she was pregnant and asked for it back. Um, sorry. I had already broken the dumb thing (or maybe I'M dumb), because it wouldn't fold up. I beat that stroller to death, and I doubt she'd have wanted her new baby reclining all the time at a 45 degree slope to the left.

 

[CLR4321]

I can see how you'd be really annoyed too! I actually probably would have demanded the clothes back unless you actually told her she could "have" them versus "borrow" them. I don't blame you for venting!

 

[Rachie0507]

When friends and I share clothes, we always say upfront whether or not we want the items back. I have found that the younger the child, the more likely the items are to be returned. When my six year old boy is done with clothes, the clothes are done too !!

I've had very good luck passing clothes on though. My oldest girl is 8 and my youngest girl is 6 months old. The baby wears quite a few things that belonged to her sister. There were also 2 friends' babies that wore them in between. Most were plain styles rom The Gap, Children's Place, Carter's and the like. They have held up very nicely.

 

[surfergirl602]

My sister sells every single gift we have ever given her children.
She specifically asks for things NOT personalized with their names so she can sell them on ebay.
I specifically buy them things that are personalized. How's that for passive aggressive?

Oh, I love you. My sil is just like that and I will live vicariously through you now.

 

[EthansMom]

I have a family member with a DD who is 9 mos. younger than mine. I was giving her really great hand-me-downs for a year or so until I realized that (1) I NEVER saw her DD in the nicer clothes I sent so they were either getting sold or sent on to somewhere without even being used and (2) her DD's closet was literally STUFFED with NWT clothes that had never been worn so they obviously didn't need the clothes I was giving. We're talking hundreds of dollars worth of nice clothes (Lands End, LL Bean, Carters...).

After a couple years of this, I found another friend with a daughter a couple years younger than mine who was more than happy to have DD's hand-me-downs and I'm quite sure is using them. I'm still giving the family member some of DD's things, but the nicer stuff is going on to someone who will use and appreciate them.

 

[foszilfineder]

My sister sells every single gift we have ever given her children.
She specifically asks for things NOT personalized with their names so she can sell them on ebay.
I specifically buy them things that are personalized. How's that for passive aggressive?

Funny. What a waste. If she can use them for hers and then benefit the family buy selling, all the more power to her. I can't imagine being passive aggressive with a family member like that. At least she was honest about it.

I agree with those who say that 2 wearings and not even the "good clothes" are still good enough to argue about. Ours were either stained or fading. The better stuff went to the Salvation Army or Women's shelter. The OP's sister sounds like she is feeling stressed right now. Perhaps she needs some TLC, rather than a whine fest on a message board.

 

[janey99]

I'm reading this thread with interest because I have a 10 yo DS, a 9 mo DS, my Dsis has a 6 yo DD and a 2 yo DS, and my brother is about to get married - lots of kids and potential kids!

For the record, Dsis and I have an understanding that all baby items will be passed amongst the family (clothes and toys), but we will keep items of real sentimentality. When the items are no longer used by family, they'll get donated if they still have any value.

That said, I must have Sunday afternoon brain fog, because I can't figure out 2 things that have been said repeatedly in this thread -

1 - clothes so stained they are garbage - out of 4 kids, we have only had 2 items stained so bad they were garbage - a sleepsuit that my oldest DS threw up carrots, formula and amoxicillin on, and a pair of cream colored corduroys that got caught is Dsis's washing machine and got rust rubbed all over them. Everything else, we have kept clean and passed through 4 kids by now. Even stuff stored for years, that comes out of the box with mystery stains, we have soaked in Cascade dishwashing detergent and boiling water, washed as usual, and they have been good as new. Despite tons of washing, everything has stayed in really good shape also. The quality runs the gamut from Old Navy and Carters to Gymboree and Catimini. What is happening to all y'alls clothes that they can't be cleaned?

2 - Clothes going out of style. Sorry, but I don't get this. Onesies and sleep suits = no style. Other clothes - matching baby tops and bottoms, little jeans, chinos, pullover tops, overalls - there's style?! I live in a snooty northeasten NJ town, and even we can wear last year's Gymboree lines! Am I missing something? Maybe it's different for girls?

Anyway, as I said, I've gotten a kick out of this thread. Right now, DS9mos is wearing a navy fleece sweatsuit with a teddy on the knee and on the front zip pull that DS 10 wore a loooong time ago - it looks great!

Jane

 

[foszilfineder]

I'm reading this thread with interest because I have a 10 yo DS, a 9 mo DS, my Dsis has a 6 yo DD and a 2 yo DS, and my brother is about to get married - lots of kids and potential kids!

For the record, Dsis and I have an understanding that all baby items will be passed amongst the family (clothes and toys), but we will keep items of real sentimentality. When the items are no longer used by family, they'll get donated if they still have any value.

That said, I must have Sunday afternoon brain fog, because I can't figure out 2 things that have been said repeatedly in this thread -

1 - clothes so stained they are garbage - out of 4 kids, we have only had 2 items stained so bad they were garbage - a sleepsuit that my oldest DS threw up carrots, formula and amoxicillin on, and a pair of cream colored corduroys that got caught is Dsis's washing machine and got rust rubbed all over them. Everything else, we have kept clean and passed through 4 kids by now. Even stuff stored for years, that comes out of the box with mystery stains, we have soaked in Cascade dishwashing detergent and boiling water, washed as usual, and they have been good as new. Despite tons of washing, everything has stayed in really good shape also. The quality runs the gamut from Old Navy and Carters to Gymboree and Catimini. What is happening to all y'alls clothes that they can't be cleaned?

2 - Clothes going out of style. Sorry, but I don't get this. Onesies and sleep suits = no style. Other clothes - matching baby tops and bottoms, little jeans, chinos, pullover tops, overalls - there's style?! I live in a snooty northeasten NJ town, and even we can wear last year's Gymboree lines! Am I missing something? Maybe it's different for girls?

Anyway, as I said, I've gotten a kick out of this thread. Right now, DS9mos is wearing a navy fleece sweatsuit with a teddy on the knee and on the front zip pull that DS 10 wore a loooong time ago - it looks great!

Jane

#1, we had a terrible time with poo stains around the legs, and orange veggies. Never heard of using Cascade. It doesn't fade?

#2 I agree. Clothes made of good fabric don't outdate. Well, unless there is a character on it.

 

[janey99]

#1, we had a terrible time with poo stains around the legs, and orange veggies. Never heard of using Cascade. It doesn't fade?

#2 I agree. Clothes made of good fabric don't outdate. Well, unless there is a character on it.

It works great - I'm partial to Cascade Complete Gel right now. Something about the cleansers in dish detergent being formulated for protein stains has a wonderful effect on baby protein stains, including poop, formula, throw up, and most of your "orange" foods (even though I don't think the orange are protein based). Hot water soak overnight, then wash with Tide, then with Dreft, if you want, and you're good to go!

I haven't noticed any real fading (if everything fades at the same rate, it probably still looks OK).

I will say, on further thought, that Old Navy pants don't hold up as well as other items - they always fade terribly at the knees, or rip altogther. The shirts seem OK though.

I'm not lying when I say I have not bought one item of clothing for DS9mos - so far all hand me downs or gifts.

J

 

[dogluva]

I'm reading this thread with interest because I have a 10 yo DS, a 9 mo DS, my Dsis has a 6 yo DD and a 2 yo DS, and my brother is about to get married - lots of kids and potential kids!

For the record, Dsis and I have an understanding that all baby items will be passed amongst the family (clothes and toys), but we will keep items of real sentimentality. When the items are no longer used by family, they'll get donated if they still have any value.

That said, I must have Sunday afternoon brain fog, because I can't figure out 2 things that have been said repeatedly in this thread -

1 - clothes so stained they are garbage - out of 4 kids, we have only had 2 items stained so bad they were garbage - a sleepsuit that my oldest DS threw up carrots, formula and amoxicillin on, and a pair of cream colored corduroys that got caught is Dsis's washing machine and got rust rubbed all over them. Everything else, we have kept clean and passed through 4 kids by now. Even stuff stored for years, that comes out of the box with mystery stains, we have soaked in Cascade dishwashing detergent and boiling water, washed as usual, and they have been good as new. Despite tons of washing, everything has stayed in really good shape also. The quality runs the gamut from Old Navy and Carters to Gymboree and Catimini. What is happening to all y'alls clothes that they can't be cleaned?

2 - Clothes going out of style. Sorry, but I don't get this. Onesies and sleep suits = no style. Other clothes - matching baby tops and bottoms, little jeans, chinos, pullover tops, overalls - there's style?! I live in a snooty northeasten NJ town, and even we can wear last year's Gymboree lines! Am I missing something? Maybe it's different for girls?

Anyway, as I said, I've gotten a kick out of this thread. Right now, DS9mos is wearing a navy fleece sweatsuit with a teddy on the knee and on the front zip pull that DS 10 wore a loooong time ago - it looks great!

Jane

I honestly don't havet time to boil water and cascade to clean kids' clothes. They go in the wash and dryer for me. I work and have a lot of kids. That's my life and easier is better for me.

My ten year old was born when his brother was ten. No way could he have worn the stuff his older brother wore. I know this because I recieved a box back from my sil and the stuff, even the pj's, were very outdated. I am not a snob at all. I just know that the styles were very old.

I can't imagine wanting clothes back four kids and ten years later.

 

[mjkacmom]

2 - Clothes going out of style. Sorry, but I don't get this. Onesies and sleep suits = no style. Other clothes - matching baby tops and bottoms, little jeans, chinos, pullover tops, overalls - there's style?! I live in a snooty northeasten NJ town, and even we can wear last year's Gymboree lines! Am I missing something? Maybe it's different for girls?

Anyway, as I said, I've gotten a kick out of this thread. Right now, DS9mos is wearing a navy fleece sweatsuit with a teddy on the knee and on the front zip pull that DS 10 wore a loooong time ago - it looks great!

Jane

It is different with boys and girls! Especially when they get older. Everything I hand down from ds10 to ds6 is fine (not a lot of it to hand down - always have holes in the knees). However, styles do change a lot for girls, and by the time dd12's jeans are handed down to dd8 (who wears a size 6), they are totally dated. Dd8 and dd6 wear the same size, so no handing down.

 

[Leajess99]

Wow interesting thread. I have given away so much of my kids' clothes and have never ever expected to get anything back - nor did I want to. What use would I have for it after it's been worn, washed and rewashed, worn and reworn a hundred times?? I can't imagine that anyone would want clothes - especially baby clothes that get much dirtier than adult clothing, that has been passed around so much. Also, not sure if you mentioned that his is your BFFs first baby but half the fun is actually buying new things and cute outfits. Anyway, I really think you should let this go.

I have done the same. With 3 kids I have passed on lots of clothes. If there was something I really liked I did save it in case there was another child otherwise I passed it on. I don't save the clothes from my 10 year old as I know by the time my 6 year old gets into that size they won't be in style. We pass them on to a lady in another county that saves them for those in her community that can use them. My youngest's clothes are often passed onto my cousin for his daughter. I am just happy that they are getting used and they end up being passed on to someone else for use.

 

[Leajess99]

#1, we had a terrible time with poo stains around the legs, and orange veggies. Never heard of using Cascade. It doesn't fade?

#2 I agree. Clothes made of good fabric don't outdate. Well, unless there is a character on it.

Cascade or any dishwasher soap is normally best used on white clothing. I use Oxyclean on my kids' clothes as it does help get the stains out. Even when my daughter managed to get mustard and ketchup on her white basketball jersey I was able to get it out by throwing it in the washer with oxyclean and Tide (most any laundry soap will work though as I use Tide with Downy).

 

[pyrxtc]

well, the clothes that I buy are from all over. Tons of Children's Place, lots of Carters, and Osh Kosh and some hartstrings. I don't think baby clothes ever really get outdated. The same outfit my DD12 wore when she was little will look just as cute on one of my nieces in a year or two. I have thrown a few GAP in there and some department store brands too.

I just gave my mother back some Osh Kosh overalls that are over 30 years old and have been worn by at least that many kids over the years. All five of my mothers kids wore them, countless cousins, daycare kids (my mother had a home daycare for 27 years), 2nd cousins, and 3 of my kids. Now they are waiting to be passed on to my siblings children when they start having them.

I ahve had very few outfits that I had to throw away because of staining. It is very easy to keep the clothes from staining and keep it nice looking.

I can see older kids clothes looking outdated but for babies, the only thing really chnaging is the pattern on the fabric, wiht the exception for some of the newer stuff that looks like grown-up clothes shrunk down and I don't like babies in those clothes anyways.