Venting about a store's return policy...

[Pooh Girl 71]

So sorry OP - the people really came out of the woodwork on this one - maybe it's because the kiddies are out of school an they're in a bad mood and taking it out on you - they're all so right you know and would have handled your situation just perfectly .

Lots of people making a big to do about this thread when they wouldn't have been bothered at all by the gift or lack of customer service.

 

[LilyWDW]

Lots of people making a big to do about this thread when they wouldn't have been bothered at all by the gift or lack of customer service.

Or don't even think it was a lack of customer service.

The OP emailed them a question. The store responded to the question with a factual response. It just wasn't worded the way the OP would have liked. It wasn't rude or didn't answer the question asked... it just wasn't the right answer according to the OP.

 

[ZehnJahren]

Really, she isn't throwing a fit?? What do you call it?? She has gone on and on about the poor customer service and the stupid coffie mug and the gift giver not following their "contrctual obligation." Sorry but that is throwing a fit.

No, screaming and hollering and freaking out is throwing a fit. Unless she stated somewhere in this very long and rambling thread that she screamed, hollered, kicked her feet, and freaked out, this is not a fit - and complaining or venting is NOT freaking out. Nor is asking for a receipt so the gift giver doesn't completely waste their money.

Also the "contractual obligation" statements weren't OP's either, as far as I saw. It was someone else's. I've gone on and on about poor customer service in the past (in real life, not on the DIS), but I definitely wasn't "throwing a fit". Instead, I was talking about something that bothered me to people who cared (or maybe they didn't but were just being nice).

So many people keep reading here with nothing but bad things to say - I think THEY'RE the ones freaking out or "throwing a fit". I saw OP irritated by several things, but nothing over the admittedly-proverbial line.

 

[undertheradar]

I don't consider it a business transaction. However, I do consider it a transaction that is consentually entered into under a proscribed set of guidelines that people should be expected to follow. You don't enter into a $20 gift exchange, for example, and spend $5, or $500. You don't enter into a gift exchange where names are drawn and buy a gift for someone other than the name you drew. You shouldn't enter into a gift exchange based on lists and then not use those lists, unless you have no other recourse. It's pretty simple to me.

 

[krcit]

I think it sounds like the gift giver tried to give a nice personalized gift that she thought the OP would like and included a gift card to a store specified in the grab bag by-lawss I swear after I read these threads, I thank God for the drama free friends and family I have. Let's try to get a bit of perspective folks.

 

[powellrj]

I keep picturing a family meeting in which someone says about the christmas gift exchange, consider it a transaction that is consentually entered into under a proscribed set of guidelines that people will be expected to follow. I pretty much quoted the op.

I think if I married into a situation like that, I would be running for my life. I mean come on people, its a $20 gift exchange, not a world peace treaty.

 

[mom-2greatkids]

I completely agree with the OP. If the tradition is to buy something off the list, you should buy something off the list. However, if the gift giver wanted to deviate from the list, she should have made sure the gift could be returned if the recipient didn't like it.

That's probably the biggest thing I consider when purchasing gifts. Unless the gift is something I'm sure the recipient will want and doesn't already have (i.e. list) I always make sure the item can be returned. Further, I also make sure that I don't use any type of coupons that would not be included in the return amount (For example, JC Penny has some $10 off of $10 purchase coupons. If you return the item you don't get the $10)

Lastly, in the OP's shoes, I would be extremely irritated with the gift giver. To me, receiving a gift that I can't use or can't return is wasteful. I think the mug was a completely thoughtless gift. I'd have much rather not been given the gift at all.

I guess that's why as an adult I don't want a gift from anyone, and I don't really want to get another adult a gift either. In my eyes gifts are for kids, adults can buy for themselves. In DH's family we give and receive gifts from his parents and aunt and uncle. None of us need anything, but we give gifts for the sake of giving gifts. IMO I would much rather be out shopping sometime during the year and see something that I really thing XXX would like and get it for them for no reason.

Flame away!!!

 

[North of Mouse]

No flames, agree with you and OP .

 

[DVCBELLE]

I understand the OP's pain on the gift...my DH's family used to do a gift exchange and 3 years in a row the same aunt got my name. We gave gift ideas with the exchange and I was pretty easy with my list - something Disney, dinner gift card, etc.

I was very diligent in my shopping...I made sure that I got what the recipient asked for and am such a good shopper that I was usually able to get several of their suggestions...the girls told me once that they were always relieved when they would find out that I had their name.

So while I was out, thoughtfully picking out gifts, this aunt was not. One year she bought me winnie the pooh pajamas from the disney store - which seems awesome but she bought a 2x for me...I wore a large. And they didn't run small...when I held them up, I almost started crying at the thought that she could possibly think those would fit me. She clearly just went in the Disney store, grabbed a gift and bought it. It was a joke with the cousins that maybe she thought my DH and I would both wear them. I tried to exchange it but they were all out and all they could offer me was a $3 store credit. As luck would have it, I got pregnant that year and at 9 months pregnant, they were the only pajamas I was comfortable in.

The next year she gets my name, she gave a Christopher Radko ornament. For a $50 gift exchange. Nothing else. I looked into returning it. When I opened it, I didn't even know who Christopher Radko was. So I researched the ornament and turns out it was retired - for like 15 years...in other words, she pulled it out of her collection and gave it to me. It wasn't even in an original box. Just wrapped in tissue in a Kohls box.

The 3rd year, she thought she had someone else's name and brought a gift for them - so as everyone opened gifts, I had nothing - so she just took the name off the other girl's gift and gave it to me once she realized what happened. No apology. I don't even remember what the gift was but I decided that was my last year in the gift exchange.

Thankfully, I didn't have to opt out as my MIL told me that she did not expect me to continue participating after that.

So I do understand the frustration that if you are in a gift exchange that some people are really thoughtful and buy great gifts and others aren't. It kind of stinks being the one spending a lot of time to get the perfect gift and getting a bad gift in return. I think what ends up happening is that people stop putting the effort in and then it seems like a lot of money wasted.

My DHs family has abandoned the whole gift exchange anyway, which makes me happy b/c in the end, all that really matters is spending time together!

 

[kaytieeldr]

Also the "contractual obligation" statements weren't OP's either, as far as I saw. It was someone else's.

You can see from the quote directly below the one from which I took this - # 204 - that while the OP may or may not have been the first person in the thread to use that statement, she was quick to adopt it.

I completely agree with the OP. If the tradition is to buy something off the list, you should buy something off the list.

Tradition is tradition until something happens - an event, an action, a statement or conversation - occurs to change the tradition. Maybe this relative is trying to change the 'tradition' of acting as personal shopper for each other, without an actual confrontation.

Lastly, in the OP's shoes, I would be extremely irritated with the gift giver. To me, receiving a gift that I can't use or can't return is wasteful. I think the mug was a completely thoughtless gift. I'd have much rather not been given the gift at all.

Several posters have pointed out, throughout the thread, that the mug doesn't have to be used for coffee. Drink cold beverages out of it; use it for pens & pencils; put flowers in it; throw your change it; or some hard candy, or cough drops...

I guess that's why as an adult I don't want a gift from anyone, and I don't really want to get another adult a gift either.

Okay, well, don't. Unless it's one of those contactual obligation gift exchanges where all the women (why only women?) absolutely must participate and follow the rules exactly - just don't play

 

[pacrosby]

I guess that's why as an adult I don't want a gift from anyone, and I don't really want to get another adult a gift either. In my eyes gifts are for kids, adults can buy for themselves. In DH's family we give and receive gifts from his parents and aunt and uncle. None of us need anything, but we give gifts for the sake of giving gifts. IMO I would much rather be out shopping sometime during the year and see something that I really thing XXX would like and get it for them for no reason.

Flame away!!!

I'm not going to flame you but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I find that attitude to be sad. Gifts are for kids only? Why? Maybe I'm wrong but sounds to me like you've fallen into the same trap the OP has fallen into. "Gifts should be things that "I" specifically have expressed a desire for and nothing else". "The gift giver has a duty to give me only what "I" deem to be acceptable and nothing else". "I didn't ask for this.....how dare you give it to me?"' Perhaps you learned this as a child? Did mom and dad and grandma and grandpa always buy you exactly what you put on your list and nothing else? Did they perhaps apologize when they bought you something you didn't like/ask for? Maybe that's where things went wrong.

I remember when my SIL suggested that we no longer exchange gifts. I was both taken by surprise and disappointed because I knew bottom line was she really just couldn't be bothered anymore. Money was no issue. Time was no issue. She just didn't want to. I actually enjoy buying for people in my life and while certainly no one 'needs' anything anymore and is more than capable of buying what they 'want' for themselves, the point is to find something they would enjoy but would likely never buy. Tickets to a show and a gift certificate for a nice dinner for my mom and dad, tickets to the Symphony for my Dad, personalized photobooks/calendars for my mom, digital photo frames filled with 100's of px of the children for my husband's office, special personalized cufflinks for my husband or what I created last year....'Daddy's Little Book of Wisdom' which was a photo book filled with pictures of the children and meaningful quotes. Finding that perfect gift for others has always been as much, if not more, fun for me than receiving (although dh tends to be an incredible gift giver himself ). IDK.....maybe an attitude change would do you good. Certainly it would do your children good. What a message you are sending

Yes, I know, a lot of adults say they no longer buy for spouses, siblings, parents etc. but I do, I find it unfortunate. Clearly many are losing sight of what gift giving is all about. It's really not all that hard to surprise the special people in your life with something special if you are just willing to put in alittle time and effort. Everyone is just so busy nowadays. And so darn selfish. Sad

 

[crazyme5kids]

To a PP - not young, but I have a master's degree in public relations and mass communication, and have studied many, many examples of outstanding customer service, so it probably tweaks me more than most people to see wasted opportunities to 'wow' a customer.

Also - I wasn't aware that writing a post on the internet is "all worked up". I was killing time before my DH got home, and figured, what the heck, why not see if anyone else has had similar experiences. I type 100 WPM, so it's not like I'm penning a magnum opus, here.

I agree with you. Many years ago my son broke the screen on his Ipod. While it wasn't purchased at the Apple store, my husband brought it there to see if it could be repaired. He told them it wasn't purchased there, or at any Apple store. In fact, even the warranty had run out.

The sales clerk took it into the back room. When he came out, he told my husband that the manager said to replace it with a new one, free of charge.

Great customer service. Since that time, we have returned to that store and purchased a desktop computer, a laptop, an Ipad and another Ipod, plus different accessories. We could have gotten better deals somewhere else on some of the items, but because of that one fantastic gesture of customer service, we remain loyal.

 

[Arabelle]

It is easy to have that kind of service if you are that size of business. And apple made money regardless. But if you are a small business counting on every sale, a policy asking for proof of sale isn't ridiculous. How does the store even know the product was paid for. When I worked retail you wouldn't believe how much was stolen to return.

 

[Arabelle]

pacrosby, most adults I know have stopped exchanging gifts to simplify. We all have more than enough stuff. I don't need a sil to decide that I need tickets to an event that she thinks I should attend, either, lol.

 

[stitchlovestink]

My biggest issue is I am spending hard earned money buying the gift. And while I do my best to pick out something that I really think the recipient will like, I understand there is a chance that I might not hit the mark. What frustrates me is that it gets donated and sold for a few dollars instead of the recipient taking it back and picking out something they will use/enjoy. We work too hard for our $$ to have it donated to charity for a measly few $$$. That $40 gift is now being sold in goodwill for $5. That's frustrating! I'd rather donate the $5 and save my other $35.

 

[maxiesmom]

I'm not going to flame you but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I find that attitude to be sad. Gifts are for kids only? Why? Maybe I'm wrong but sounds to me like you've fallen into the same trap the OP has fallen into. "Gifts should be things that "I" specifically have expressed a desire for and nothing else". "The gift giver has a duty to give me only what "I" deem to be acceptable and nothing else". "I didn't ask for this.....how dare you give it to me?"' Perhaps you learned this as a child? Did mom and dad and grandma and grandpa always buy you exactly what you put on your list and nothing else? Did they perhaps apologize when they bought you something you didn't like/ask for? Maybe that's where things went wrong.

(

I agree with everything you have said.

It seems people either were not taught, or just don't care enough to be gracious anymore. I would never throw about any gift somene was kind enough to get me. It is beyond rude and selfish and shows a lack of grace. Very sad.

 

[Danibelle]

Sorry but I don't know why this thread is still going on.

 

[maxiesmom]

Sorry but I don't know why this thread is still going on.

Because people still wish to discuss the topic. Threads usually only get closed if they get out of control, and this one has not. The only other way it will die is for people to ignore it. If you don't find the subject interesting, just ignore the thread.

 

[North of Mouse]

pacrosby, why is it so sad not giving useless gifts just because it's December? I love to pick out and give gifts during the year that I know the person is wanting or will like and it's always appreciated - Arabelle, I agree with you, I have very little needs or wants and enjoy getting them myself or others that know me well getting them for me whenever-----

 

[Bob NC]

It never ceases to amaze me what petty complaints some people have.

I have to ask- is it really worth getting this worked up over a COFFEE MUG that was GIFT???

Wow, sounds like the store is better off not having you for a customer since you feel you need to be treated special. I have a feeling you are young and have a lot to learn.

I would hate to see how upset you get over something really important.

I normally try not to make snarky comments, but I can't help it in this case. I mean is that what Christmas has come to??? You are mad because someone didn't get the exact item off your list? And they got you a gift card from a place that you was on your list instead of randonly picking a lotion fragrance for you?? Why don't you guys just buy your own gift, wrap it up and open at the party?? Then you can be sure you get what you want.

Wow.

I never really realized how much grief I save myself by thinking of gifts as . . . GIFTS!

Seriously, if I get a gift that I don't like/doesn't fit/is the wrong color, I really don't think twice about it.

Honestly, if this thread.......the unacceptable gift, the "not keeping to rules of gift giving, the "list of wants(demands), and the customer service or lack there of.......

IF THIS IS NOT A JOKE on all of us,

then SADLY the OP has no touch with reality (as pointed out that she had no idea how little $20 can buy) or that most people would let it go.



In the words of my wise deseased Granmda......"she is to be pitied".


OR like I said......it could all be a joke (disturbed as it may be).

So, I guess from now on none of you posters will lower yourselves to discussions of topics lesser than death, destruction or world peace.

If this topic is "petty", then why would you all be taking the time to respond?

Is the DIS now reserved for only topics that are "really important?"

This place gets stranger every day.