Venting about a store's return policy...

[Danibelle]

It never ceases to amaze me what petty complaints some people have. That was a mighty long rant for something so trivial. Small businesses have to have those policies to stay in business. You are mad because you thought you should have been treated super-special and that didn't happen.

In the future, maybe you should avoid gift swaps if it causes so much upset.

I was wondering what the OP was really complaining about. I would just avoid the situation next time.

 

[LisaCat]

I don't consider it a business transaction. However, I do consider it a transaction that is consentually entered into under a proscribed set of guidelines that people should be expected to follow. You don't enter into a $20 gift exchange, for example, and spend $5, or $500. You don't enter into a gift exchange where names are drawn and buy a gift for someone other than the name you drew. You shouldn't enter into a gift exchange based on lists and then not use those lists, unless you have no other recourse. It's pretty simple to me.

This says it all. And this is why I was not feeling "the love" this Christmas. I felt like I was being dictated to buy something of a certain value off a list, dictated by a date on the calendar. The gift that was best received in my inlaw family was something I picked up for my sis in law this summer at Disneyland. I've been holding on to it since August. It was an $8 gift but she was happier about it and I bet she remembers it more than the $25 gift card we got her off "the list".

 

[kaytieeldr]

To all of those who bashed the OP made statements that she's ungrateful, a gift is a gift, you get what you get, etc etc etc, please keep in mind, this was the first sentence of her post:

So my family draws names at Christmas and we exchange lists... we always buy off the list


So, if they ALWAYS buy off the list, what makes the person who drew her name think it's okay to disregard a list and buy (what I call) a "lazy" gift -- meaning no thought put into it, just grabbed something off a shelf and tossed it in a gift bag.

First, that's RUDE to just disregard what is the "rule" about the exchange.

Second, why did the buyer think there were lists???? I'm sure the list was compiled of several "wishes" and the buyer could choose something from that list to get the giftee.

Maybe the gift giver is subtly hinting that change is good; I mean, if Edison hadn't invented the light bulb we'd all be watching tv in the dark, right? Maybe she's quietly rebelling against such a structured "gift"'process. Think about it: a gift exchange that comes with rules, including buying an item from the giftee's list?

It really annoys me when people do that. As I stated in an earlier post, if I ask for a purple cotton blouse or sweater with long sleeves, please don't buy be a green shirt made of that gross fake silk material with 3/4 sleeves. I got that this Christmas and prompty tossed it in the Salvation Army bag. I can't return or exchange it: No receipt and the giver took the tags off (they got it on the clearance rack so they were probably embarassed about spending $4-$7 on something as a Christmas gift).

I, for one, would actually prefer to get nothing than to get something that wasn't purchased with any real thought or something that I would never in a million years use.

Well, I'd like to address the underlined portion first. It's not fake silk; it's real polyester. Nobody expected the buyer or you to be fooled; especially since - addressing the bolded section - you have the discerning fashion eye to know where in the store it was located and what price range was paid.

I have a couple of suggestions for you for next year (any gift occasion, really): first, if there's something specific you want, buy it yourself since that's the only way to guarantee you won't be disappointed*; and if there's something specific you don't want, unless it's allergy-related (a cat, nuts, etc.) don't put it on the list at all. You say "not green" and the person focuses on 'green' and not 'not'.

*well, you could still be disappointed but you can't blame anyone else

 

[jaminmd]

So sorry OP - the people really came out of the woodwork on this one - maybe it's because the kiddies are out of school an they're in a bad mood and taking it out on you - they're all so right you know and would have handled your situation just perfectly .

Her situation? It's a MUG that she doesn't like. I'd hardly call that a situation. Most of us have enough sense to not even let it be a blip on our radar screens.

 

[NYCDiane]

Maybe the gift giver is subtly hinting that change is good; I mean, if Edison hadn't invented the light bulb we'd all be watching tv in the dark, right? Maybe she's quietly rebelling against such a structured "gift"'process. Think about it: a gift exchange that comes with rules, including buying an item from the giftee's list?



Well, I'd like to address the underlined portion first. It's not fake silk; it's real polyester. Nobody expected the buyer or you to be fooled; especially since - addressing the bolded section - you have the discerning fashion eye to know where in the store it was located and what price range was paid.

I have a couple of suggestions for you for next year (any gift occasion, really): first, if there's something specific you want, buy it yourself since that's the only way to guarantee you won't be disappointed*; and if there's something specific you don't want, unless it's allergy-related (a cat, nuts, etc.) don't put it on the list at all. You say "not green" and the person focuses on 'green' and not 'not'. *well, you could still be disappointed but you can't blame anyone else

If the gift giver wanted the "rules" to change, she should have said so during the name-pull or simply not participated at all.

Never said anyone was trying to "fool" anyone with the material on the blouse.

Uh, yeah, typically at this time of year, Spring/Summer clothing is on a clearance rack and, since I'm familiar with the store where it was purchase, I know the price range of items on the clearance rack and Spring/Summer items go for between $3-$7 on the clearance rack because they have to get rid of them and they've been on markdown for a long time.

Hmmmm, if they would focus on "green" and not "not", I wonder why they didn't focus on PURPLE since it was prominent on the list?????


Anyway, there was no reason for anyone to jump down the throat of the OP. The point of her post was the store's return policy and that turned into everyone calling her ungrateful and "tisk-tisking" her about "a gift is a gift" and " you get what you get".

People wonder why small businesses have such a rough go of it? Many times it's because of their policies --- if the item obviously came from your store, why would you give a potentially loyal customer a hard time about returning it???????? Now, not only did he lose the OP as a customer but she's going to let other people know what a hard time she was given there and they may lose even more customers because of that. Most small businesses thrive off "word of mouth" --- many also go OUT of business due to "word of mouth".

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Uh, yeah, typically at this time of year, Spring/Summer clothing is on a clearance rack and, since I'm familiar with the store where it was purchase, I know the price range of items on the clearance rack and Spring/Summer items go for between $3-$7 on the clearance rack because they have to get rid of them and they've been on markdown for a long time.

Hmmmm, if they would focus on "green" and not "not", I wonder why they didn't focus on PURPLE since it was prominent on the list?????

Ah, the Spirit of the Holidays and gift-giving, alive and well on the DIS.

'Tis the Season to investigate and find out every possible price, location of what everyone is getting for you.

Seriously, people, if you're that fussed by all this, next year, go out and buy it yourself.

 

[Marionnette]

If the gift giver wanted the "rules" to change, she should have said so during the name-pull or simply not participated at all.

Never said anyone was trying to "fool" anyone with the material on the blouse.

Uh, yeah, typically at this time of year, Spring/Summer clothing is on a clearance rack and, since I'm familiar with the store where it was purchase, I know the price range of items on the clearance rack and Spring/Summer items go for between $3-$7 on the clearance rack because they have to get rid of them and they've been on markdown for a long time.

Hmmmm, if they would focus on "green" and not "not", I wonder why they didn't focus on PURPLE since it was prominent on the list?????


Anyway, there was no reason for anyone to jump down the throat of the OP. The point of her post was the store's return policy and that turned into everyone calling her ungrateful and "tisk-tisking" her about "a gift is a gift" and " you get what you get".

People wonder why small businesses have such a rough go of it? Many times it's because of their policies --- if the item obviously came from your store, why would you give a potentially loyal customer a hard time about returning it???????? Now, not only did he lose the OP as a customer but she's going to let other people know what a hard time she was given there and they may lose even more customers because of that. Most small businesses thrive off "word of mouth" --- many also go OUT of business due to "word of mouth".

The business gave her a hard time? She emailed them to find out whether they take returns without a receipt. They emailed back that they don't. How is that interpreted as giving her a "hard time"? She might have gotten a kinder and more detailed response if she had been in the store and asked about returning the mug. She just didn't like the way the store answered.

There are plenty of big box stores that will not accept a return without a receipt. PPs have explained why this is a policy that is in place at many businesses.

TBH, the OP comes across as being spoiled and having an entitled attitude. She's upset with a family member who didn't follow the rules to the letter but she wants the merchant to bend their rules for her. And now she wants the whole family to change a long-time tradition because she got a gift that she didn't like.

And all of this is over a travel mug and gift card.

 

[maggiew]

To all of those who bashed the OP made statements that she's ungrateful, a gift is a gift, you get what you get, etc etc etc, please keep in mind, this was the first sentence of her post:

So my family draws names at Christmas and we exchange lists... we always buy off the list


So, if they ALWAYS buy off the list, what makes the person who drew her name think it's okay to disregard a list and buy (what I call) a "lazy" gift -- meaning no thought put into it, just grabbed something off a shelf and tossed it in a gift bag.

First, that's RUDE to just disregard what is the "rule" about the exchange.

Second, why did the buyer think there were lists???? I'm sure the list was compiled of several "wishes" and the buyer could choose something from that list to get the giftee.


It really annoys me when people do that. As I stated in an earlier post, if I ask for a purple cotton blouse or sweater with long sleeves, please don't buy be a green shirt made of that gross fake silk material with 3/4 sleeves. I got that this Christmas and prompty tossed it in the Salvation Army bag. I can't return or exchange it: No receipt and the giver took the tags off (they got it on the clearance rack so they were probably embarassed about spending $4-$7 on something as a Christmas gift).

I, for one, would actually prefer to get nothing than to get something that wasn't purchased with any real thought or something that I would never in a million years use.

As I mentioned in my previous post, it seems the gift-giver married into the family. Maybe she didn't know you were required to buy off the list???

And you mentioned two times about your purple sweater. This must really bother you. But I personally believe you gave a too specific item for your list. If nothing besides a purple, cotton, long-sleeved sweater will satisfy you, then you should buy it yourself. You are just setting yourself up for dissapointment.

Do people reallly give such specific lists??? I mean if people ask me what I would like for Christmas I would say, "Oh, I like scrapbooking. I like Disney. I like to read." etc. You still get something in the range of things you like and it gives the buyer some leeway on what they pick out.

Maggie

 

[luvmy3]

Her situation? It's a MUG that she doesn't like. I'd hardly call that a situation. Most of us have enough sense to not even let it be a blip on our radar screens.

This made me chuckle

You are so right!

 

[pacrosby]

Do people reallly give such specific lists??? I mean if people ask me what I would like for Christmas I would say, "Oh, I like scrapbooking. I like Disney. I like to read." etc. You still get something in the range of things you like and it gives the buyer some leeway on what they pick out.

Maggie

This.

Even my children don't generally identify 'specific' items. They talk about more lego sets, American Doll 'stuff', art books and supplies, remote controlled items etc. Where is the surprise if you specifically identify an item you want and then someone goes out and buys it. And you in turn go out and buy the specific item identified by that other person? I said it before but, seriously, why bother? It becomes nothing more than a formality

When did people become so entitled when it came to 'gifts'? Yikes

 

[bluehen]

The first Christmas after marriage was different for me. My in-laws had a grab bag. At that point my dear FIL bought all the gifts. They were always junky....mouse traps , a spatula etc. This was foreign to me as they were just junk. When it got to my turn .......a plunger...... My FIL was rolling on the floor laughing. I had no clue what to do. As I got to know my father in law better over the years i realized he was one of the best human beings I have ever met. That uncomfortable memory is now one of my fondest memories of my father in law. Christmas was for laughing and having fun with the family.....not gifts. Fast forward to this year. The grab bag had over the years become a gift exchange for the family. We had fun but joke gifts were really not given. I had obviously told my father in law story many times to my in-laws. This year my brother in law (another great human being who is a lot like his father) somehow put in and I got a plunger. Not all the tears out of me were from laughing. After the exchange my BIL came over and tried to give me a gift card for pannerra. I told him it would cost him 10 times that gift card to get it back. Since I have been using the same plunger for 30 years I really need a new one. We decided (panerra may not be too happy with this) to take the plunger out for lunch (the old one that is).

Now to bring back to topic.....OP.... why not buy your own wants and let the family exchange be for junk and fun. This may have been what the gifter was trying to do since the gift exchange seems to be a sacred cow in your family. I for one would not feel too comfortable bringing it up. Lighten up your get togethers and they may not leave so much stress afterward.

 

[ilovebassets]

Her situation? It's a MUG that she doesn't like. I'd hardly call that a situation. Most of us have enough sense to not even let it be a blip on our radar screens.

Agreed. While I understand the sense of annoyance, I've got much MUCH bigger fish to fry in my life.

 

[momto2girls]

Agreed. While I understand the sense of annoyance, I've got much MUCH bigger fish to fry in my life.

Agreed. Seriously, I would just toss the thing in the trash and move on.

 

[NLD]

As far as the small business return policy, I think it's important to remember that small businesses are going to run differently than the big ones. Their policies will be more strict, they will allow less exceptions, simply because they have to. Expecting a small business, mom and pop store, to have the same return policy as a major store is being a little unreasonable. Because they're independent, we can't assume that what goes at Target goes at the small store. I think people forget that because they're so used to shopping at major retailers who have generous return policies.

LOL, this made me laugh, because the one and only time I've gotten annoyed about a return situation was with Target. Actually avoided them for years as a result. And what made me so irritated was that they ARE a big chain, so...

Don't know if the return policy is still the same, but... back when we got married, we registered at Target. We put an ice cream maker on the registry.

Well, my MIL bought it for our shower. But somehow it didn't get taken off the registry. (Don't know if that was MIL's fault or the store's.)

So then sure enough, months later, someone bought it for a wedding a present.

We are close to my MIL, so even though she'd bought us the first one, we asked her for the receipt (explaining the situation). Did not want to ask the wedding guest, seemed too rude.

So there we were... two ice cream makers, one receipt that was about three months old. We didn't ask for cash, we asked for store credit.

Nope, they wouldn't take it. We had to have a receipt dated within 30 days EVEN for store credit. Nevermind it was in the box, never opened. Nevermind they still stocked it. Nevermind it was on our registry so they could check out that umm yeah our story was probably true. Nevermind that we had a receipt from three months ago. Nevermind nevermind nevermind.

We were pretty low-income at that point in our lives so the fact someone had spent this amount of money on us for an item that we couldn't use because we'd already gotten it (seriously the ice cream maker was the MOST frivolous thing on our registry, everything else was pretty cheap and basic stuff--measuring spoons! LOL) was really disappointing to us. And I WAS annoyed at Target and will always remember this, specifically BECAUSE they are such a large company it hardly seems it would have hurt them to take back an item they could restock and resell immediately and give us store credit instead. And a store credit would have helped us out on some necessitites of life (socks, underwear kinds of things) for a while--would have really helped us out on our measly income at the time.

Now, my own rant aside on Target...

OP, it's a coffee mug. Trust me, given my own experience that I just ranted about, I know how emotions can just bubble up over something like this.

But truly... to ask for a refund or exchange without any receipt is asking a lot of any business. They have no way of knowing whether the item was stolen.

We used to exchange gifts with my husband's entire paternal family. Every year we got stuff that we just don't use. But you know what? So what. People cared enough about us to shop or create something for us. It's the thought, not the gift.

Hope you have a nice New Year's.

 

[crashbb]

LOL, this made me laugh, because the one and only time I've gotten annoyed about a return situation was with Target. Actually avoided them for years as a result. And what made me so irritated was that they ARE a big chain, so...

Funny enough, there is a current thread complaining about the return policy (without a receipt) at Target!

 

[kaytieeldr]

Do people reallly give such specific lists??? I mean if people ask me what I would like for Christmas I would say, "Oh, I like scrapbooking. I like Disney. I like to read." etc. You still get something in the range of things you like and it gives the buyer some leeway on what they pick out.

Yep. The only gift I got this year was in the Yankee Swap at work (nice gift, by the way - a Kahlua gift set so I know what I'm doing New Year's Eve... and Day... and the day after...). But if somebody had asked me what I want, and I said, "11/22/63", and I got any Stephen King book, or Elton John's 11/17/70, or a book, or really ANY personal gift from anyone - whether it was what I requested, or related to what I requested, or really anything at all - I would be appreciative.

But my family hasn't exchanged gifts in years. I'll be back later with a list of everything I bought myself to make up for that

 

[AlwaysMoving]

And you mentioned two times about your purple sweater. This must really bother you. But I personally believe you gave a too specific item for your list. If nothing besides a purple, cotton, long-sleeved sweater will satisfy you, then you should buy it yourself. You are just setting yourself up for dissapointment.

I feel the problem is that when you start trying to be specific, you are not really being specific enough. I will give an example. The cotton purple shirt or sweater with the long sleeves.........seems specific right? Wrong. I could pick out a dozen shirts fitting that description and I swear the receiver could find something wrong with every one of them. Reason? Because the receiver has an image in their head of what they are expecting to receive and the giver can't read their mind. Does the receiver want a button down or no buttons, v neck, crew neck, square neck, soft cotton, rougher cotton, dark purple, light purple, something for day wear or evening wear, short or long in the waist, ruffles, designs or plain....it can go on and on. For all the giver knows, the receiver saw the perfect purple cotton long sleeve shirt or sweater in some unknown store while looking around and thought to herself "I'd love to have it, so I will put the description of it on my list". Trying to be specific is just a recipe for disaster.

 

[laughinplace199]

The first Christmas after marriage was different for me. My in-laws had a grab bag. At that point my dear FIL bought all the gifts. They were always junky....mouse traps , a spatula etc. This was foreign to me as they were just junk. When it got to my turn .......a plunger...... My FIL was rolling on the floor laughing. I had no clue what to do. As I got to know my father in law better over the years i realized he was one of the best human beings I have ever met. That uncomfortable memory is now one of my fondest memories of my father in law. Christmas was for laughing and having fun with the family.....not gifts. Fast forward to this year. The grab bag had over the years become a gift exchange for the family. We had fun but joke gifts were really not given. I had obviously told my father in law story many times to my in-laws. This year my brother in law (another great human being who is a lot like his father) somehow put in and I got a plunger. Not all the tears out of me were from laughing. After the exchange my BIL came over and tried to give me a gift card for pannerra. I told him it would cost him 10 times that gift card to get it back. Since I have been using the same plunger for 30 years I really need a new one. We decided (panerra may not be too happy with this) to take the plunger out for lunch (the old one that is).

Now to bring back to topic.....OP.... why not buy your own wants and let the family exchange be for junk and fun. This may have been what the gifter was trying to do since the gift exchange seems to be a sacred cow in your family. I for one would not feel too comfortable bringing it up. Lighten up your get togethers and they may not leave so much stress afterward.

Awesome story!

 

[laughinplace199]

You do know you can put other beverages in the mug, right? It won't self-destruct when something other than coffee is in it. It's not that you can't use it. It's that you won't use it because *stomping foot in ground* you didn't get what you wanted in a little gift exchange.

 

[Leajess99]

I'm not sure where the fit was. OP said she contacted the store and they wouldn't take the item back without the receipt, and she was going to get the receipt. She was irritated with the store's abruptness. She came here to say so. Obviously she chose wrong, but venting to strangers about what you think is a bad business practice is hardly throwing a fit. I'm not sure if that's what you meant, however; it's impossible to tell tone through typing. (see the definition of sarcasm above)

It's brutal to not like a gift in my family; if you aren't gushing over it, they're offended, so it's a very fake and unhappy holiday sometimes. I'd rather have the open policy DBF's family has, and then everyone can enjoy their gifts. I'm definitely someone who would hate to see a gift I thought someone would like go to complete waste if they DIDN'T like it; I'd rather hand over the receipt (be it for $10 or $100) and have them get something they wanted (be it a small item or a large one).

Really, she isn't throwing a fit?? What do you call it?? She has gone on and on about the poor customer service and the stupid coffie mug and the gift giver not following their "contrctual obligation." Sorry but that is throwing a fit.