Venting about a store's return policy...

[Toad_Passenger]

I dont understand how so many cannot understand the situation. They make lists and it is understood that you will get something on that list for the person you draw. I wouldnt be too happy either

It's because there is no point to the gift giving if you are all spending the same amount and getting something off of a pre-approved list. In essence you are just passing a $20 bill around the room, as a PP mentioned. They might as well just go out and spend the $20 on themselves, buy what they want, wrap it, and then just pass them around for someone else to put their name on it. Instant excitement, right?

 

[robsmom]

I dont understand how so many cannot understand the situation. They make lists and it is understood that you will get something on that list for the person you draw. I wouldnt be too happy either

A few of my parents expressions come to mind. "two wrongs don't make a right" and "if your friends jumped off the bridge are you going to jump off too".

 

[mdsoccermom]

I dont understand how so many cannot understand the situation. They make lists and it is understood that you will get something on that list for the person you draw. I wouldnt be too happy either

When the majority of the people disagree with the OP, I'm thinking there is little that we're misunderstanding.

 

[Grendalynn]

After reading most of the posts and being so shocked that someone would actually post a gripe as trivial as this... maybe the gift giver is really the winner here. Maybe that person knew just how superficial the receiver was and the giver is getting the last laugh.... I think its genius! OP: I think this person knows you better than you think.

Its just too bad I have wasted my time and energy on a battle that was clearly won. as DH would say - "Guess they fixed her!"

 

[Marionnette]

I dont understand how so many cannot understand the situation. They make lists and it is understood that you will get something on that list for the person you draw. I wouldnt be too happy either

Maybe you can show me exactly what I am not understanding correctly.

• The OP participated in a family gift exchange over Christmas.
• This gift exchange has been going on since she was a little child.
• The gift exchange has rules that include a set monetary value ($20) for the gifts and all participants provide a list of preferred gifts that fall within the price range.
• The OP received two gifts, which I assume totaled $20 in value since she has not said otherwise. One of those gifts was a gift card for a store that sells a product that was on her list. The other gift was the travel mug that seems to be the focus of this vent.
• The OP is upset with the gift giver because they did not purchase what was on her list. She asked for no gift cards and the mug wasn't on the list.
• The OP has no use for the mug and would like to exchange it for something that she would use.
• She sent an email to the store where the mug was supposedly purchased, based on its packaging. The email asked about returns without a receipt.
• The store sent an email back that they do not do returns without a receipt. The OP does not like their wording and feels that they should have expressed themselves differently.

Do I have any of that wrong?

 

[ZehnJahren]

After reading most of the posts and being so shocked that someone would actually post a gripe as trivial as this...

Are you serious? I've seen people complain about far more trivial things, and more serious things as well. Seems OP just wanted to vent about something that bugged her (not unlike an "I can't refill my $15 mug from October in December??!" post), and got two sides of the coin (just like an "I can't refill my $15 mug from October in December!!?" post). I think she was irritated with her family member (who didn't follow family standards/expectations), and then doubly irritated by a strict return policy, and was complaining. I don't see the big deal.

How on earth are you shocked? I'm shocked by mothers punching their children in public, or little boys peeing in the middle of Main Street. Those things shock me. This one seems just about right for an online board.

 

[katespade]

Wow. Maybe the giver has a bad sense of smell???? Can we think up anymore completely ridiculous what if's and maybes???? Gift lists are NORMAL PEOPLE!!!! Let me see, uhm, WEDDING REGISTRIES, BABY REGISTRIES, HOUSE REMODELING REGISTRIES, AMAZON WISH LISTS, Toys R US has a list registry.

A PERFECT example of STICK TO THE LIST happened to my best friend at her baby shower. She created a registry at Target, DID NOT register for a crib, because she already had one. Her Aunt, bought her a crib-from Target who's return policy was at the time no receipt, no return-no store credit-NADA! She lived 400 miles away from where the baby shower took place and was not about to drag an unnecessary, unwanted,unregistered for crib. Donate it away-as many many many of you told the OP to do-NO, it was a gift to her why should she give that away? She ended up asking her Aunt for the receipt so she could return it. Her Aunt said "Oh I didn't know you had a registry at Target, I just ran in and grabbed the crib cause it was the first thing I saw" (It was on the Shower invitation that she was registered at Target)

Gift lists are made for ease of shopping. To take guess work and leg work out of the equation. IF you are given a list for an exchange-STICK TO IT-don't be lazy and run out and grab something mindlessly and thoughtlessly, and throw a gift card in. Gift Exchanges are voluntary, if you don't like it, don't do it. I was once given a mini pencil with a little puffy dangle thing hanging off the end at a family Christmas gift exchange. I was a kid so I thought I was bad and I cried. The following year, my parents were given 1 little chocolate truffle to share between both of them. The following Christmas, we banned extended family gift exchanges.

In closing, OP, I agree with ALL of your posts-welcome to the flamed family

That is so not the point of a gift registry. In the case of a baby shower, the registry would let you know what the overall theme is. Animals, bugs, modern, traditional. It is not a list of demands. What kind of self important garbage is that? "Here are the things I want. You are going to buy me things, so buy these. We're close enough that I would invite you to a major life event, but not so close that I can assume you know me enough to pick out your own gift."

Stick to the list? Don't be lazy? You must be kidding. Person A spends an hour searching for the perfect gift for someone. Person B walks in Target, prints out a list that tells them exactly what aisle something is in, grabs it off the shelf and leaves. Who's the lazy one? Sticking to the list, and only the list, whenever one is provided only shows that you (not you personally) don't put an ounce of thought into the gift you're giving. Sticking to registries for registries sake is ridiculous and a horrifying sign of the times.

As an added bonus, to imply that not sticking to the list is tacky or bad manners is asinine. In a thread where a couple people are adamant about sticking to the "rules", you'd think SOMEONE would know that a note to where you're registered included in an invitation is poor form. I suppose that rule, like the store's return policy, only applies to other people.

 

[happygirl]

OP, donate to a family who lost everything in a fire, or a women shelter. It will make you feel great!!!

 

[MissManda]

It's because there is no point to the gift giving if you are all spending the same amount and getting something off of a pre-approved list. In essence you are just passing a $20 bill around the room, as a PP mentioned. They might as well just go out and spend the $20 on themselves, buy what they want, wrap it, and then just pass them around for someone else to put their name on it. Instant excitement, right?

Whether or not anyone agrees with the concept of people buying from a list, it appears to be their family tradition to do it this way. Who are any of us to judge. I'm sure that we all have traditions in our families that make perfect sense to us but to "outsiders" would seem a little odd or that others may not appreciate. If this is how the family had done gift giving for years and its understood that this is how it works, then the gift giver really should not have broken the protocol.

As long as you aren't passing out gift cards, then its not really the same as swapping out money. If someone has a list of several items you can probably find a very nice personal gift that fits within the the parameters of the list. Heck, with sale prices you might even be able to get several gift within the alloted dollar amount.

I can see the OP's frustration with being given a gift that wasn't on the list. Its almost like its the principal of this person breaking the tradition that is the problem. You enter into the gift exchange expecting certain conditions to be met and they aren't. So, everyone else is happy, gets something that they wanted and could use and now you are stuck with something that you don't want or need.

What we also don't know is the intent behind the gift. Maybe this person thought the mug would be well received and her feelings would be terribly hurt if she knew this many people were discussing this on a message board. Maybe, she lost the list and didn't know what to get. Maybe she just didn't care, went into a store and bought the first thing that she saw. That could play into the frustration as well.

I'm sorry that the OP can not return the unwanted item without the receipt. However, brining this back to the original topic, I don't see where the store was out of line. If that is their policy and they are sticking too it, I don't see where the store has done anything wrong. If the communciation was through email, then a short simple statement of what their policy is is sufficient. It wasn't rude or out of line. It was direct and too the point. Perhaps the person sending the email had a full inbox of similar questions and requests to get through. You just know that someone else waiting to have their email answered will be grumbling that its taking too long to hear back from the store. The OP wanted to the store owner to cut her some slack, but maybe the OP should do the same and cut the store owner some slack and not read so much into an email.

 

[momto2girls]

If it were me in your shoes, OP, that mug would've hit the trash can in my kitchen as soon as I had the chance, and I'd've never given it a second thought.

I agree. I would have thrown it out as soon as I left the Christmas get-together and never given it a second thought. I'm not opposed to asking for a receipt, but it certainly doesn't seem worth it in this case.

In theory, I do agree with the OP. I would have been slightly annoyed that I got a tacky, impersonal gift during the gift exchange. It sounds like her family has a standard way of doing things, so she expected that she would receive something that she actually liked and would use. I can understand that disappointment.

I also agree that I won't frequent businesses with bad customer service practices-- which includes stores that won't accept returns or will only issue store credit for returns. I just choose not to frequent them. They obviously don't want my patronage and that's okay. Of course, I'm not surprised when small businesses with these policies go out of business.

However, in this case, I would have simply thrown the mug in the trash and been done with the whole situation.

BTW, I am VERY glad that my extended family does not exchange gifts anymore. It is so not worth the trouble.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Do I have any of that wrong?

No, you have it all correct.

 

[ccgirl]

It's because there is no point to the gift giving if you are all spending the same amount and getting something off of a pre-approved list. In essence you are just passing a $20 bill around the room, as a PP mentioned. They might as well just go out and spend the $20 on themselves, buy what they want, wrap it, and then just pass them around for someone else to put their name on it. Instant excitement, right?

When the majority of the people disagree with the OP, I'm thinking there is little that we're misunderstanding.

These.

So...what if one person is better at sales??? For example, I am great at finding things on sale and using coupons. Getting a $20 item for $5 is not unheard of for me. So, would I need to get items that equal $20 or would just the original value have to be $20? IMHO, when you start putting rules with gift giving it is very materialistic. Be grateful someone cared for you enough to get a gift. Go to a shelter to give the mug where often people have nobody.

 

[Eastern]

I'm getting on in years, and I still don't understand the concept of gift exchanges.

For me, it's only entertaining when the gifts are meant to be jokey, funny, or ridiculous.

I would just donate the item, as I have done for many gifts over the years.

A big 'thank you!' and a trip to Goodwill sometime next week. Merry xmas!

 

[maggiew]

Whether or not anyone agrees with the concept of people buying from a list, it appears to be their family tradition to do it this way. Who are any of us to judge. I'm sure that we all have traditions in our families that make perfect sense to us but to "outsiders" would seem a little odd or that others may not appreciate. If this is how the family had done gift giving for years and its understood that this is how it works, then the gift giver really should not have broken the protocol.

It sounded to me like the gift giver might have been new to the family - maybe married into the family or something. So maybe she wasn't aware of the "rules". Do you pass out a hard copy of the rules with the lists??

Maggie

 

[luvmy3]

I dont understand how so many cannot understand the situation. They make lists and it is understood that you will get something on that list for the person you draw. I wouldnt be too happy either

I understand the situation, and I think the OP is creating a mountain out of a molehill. Sure she didn't get something off the list she gave, so what. Getting a travel coffee mug (when you choose not to use them) is not the be all end all of Christmas gift giving tragedies.

 

[undertheradar]

I just think that they need to go to the next level and have everyone sign a contract that states all of the rules and conditions. Forget about using ink pens, blood signatures should do it.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

so I included a gift receipt. .

Beware of giving gift receipts. I had an experience that I didn't know was even possible.

I spent $30 on a gift and gave it with a gift receipt. Due to a size issue, she had to return it. She wanted to exchange it but they didn't have one in the same color.

However, in the meantime, it had been on sale and on clearance so they only gave her $12.

I don't give gift receipts anymore for that reason. I keep the original receipt and tell everyone that I have the receipts if they need to make an exchange or return. That way I know they will get the full price paid back for the item.

 

[Grendalynn]

Are you serious? I've seen people complain about far more trivial things, and more serious things as well. Seems OP just wanted to vent about something that bugged her (not unlike an "I can't refill my $15 mug from October in December??!" post), and got two sides of the coin (just like an "I can't refill my $15 mug from October in December!!?" post). I think she was irritated with her family member (who didn't follow family standards/expectations), and then doubly irritated by a strict return policy, and was complaining. I don't see the big deal.

How on earth are you shocked? I'm shocked by mothers punching their children in public, or little boys peeing in the middle of Main Street. Those things shock me. This one seems just about right for an online board.

sar·casm   [sahr-kaz-uhm] Show IPA
noun
1.
harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2.
a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I also agree that I won't frequent businesses with bad customer service practices-- which includes stores that won't accept returns or will only issue store credit for returns. I just choose not to frequent them. They obviously don't want my patronage and that's okay. Of course, I'm not surprised when small businesses with these policies go out of business.

That's not bad customer service in any manner. It's customer service, period. Any store can set its own policy, as long as it's posted clearly in the store. You may not like the return policy, and so feel free not to shop there - but to say it's a bad policy is disingenuous.

 

[North of Mouse]

Princessca, sorry you are getting such a bad rap here with so many posters. I can understand your position completely. It's really the principle of the thing - if you have rules for a reason - use them - that's why they are there. There seems to be to be a lot of - shall I say - people that are not very understanding that are responding and bashing you. I DO NOT shop at small stores ( a shame, but it's mostly because of your situation). not do I shop at those that will only give the value of the item "that day" even with a gift receipt. I actually thought that was the whole reason for the gift receipt - silly me showing what was paid originally. Those kind of things tick me off too and goes beyond the "gift" itself - really has little to do with it - even if it was something you purchased yourself and it wasn't the right thing or whatever. Anyway, take heart, we are not all heartless some are understanding of your frustration As you said, you were just venting, not trying to start arguments. Have a good day!