Venting about a store's return policy...

[Princesca]

The OP was willing to accept 50% as a store credit. Stores frequently only offer the lowest price the item has sold for as a credit. The store could have even said something like the coffee mug was offered as a free with any purchase incentive on a particular date or it was offered for sale on black friday for $1 with a coupon.

The store didn't. Many stores will accept an item for store credit, without a receipt--even against posted store policy--in the week after Christmas. I wonder if the OP made his request in person or on the phone.

I'd have no problem asking for a receipt if the item was the wrong size. Normally I'd agree with the pp and let it go. It sounds like this is a "tradition" to only buy off the list. Assuming that's correct asking for a receipt isn't as bad as it otherwise would sound BUT Is it possible the mug was re gifted because the donor was short cash and didn't have the money available to purchase a gift?

The stealing thing is a valid point - I can see where that would be a concern. And ultimately, they're a private business. It's their right to have whatever rules they think are appropriate, and my right to refuse to do business there, and that's grand. But I couldn't make my request in person... the store in question is about an hour's drive from my house, and I didn't want to go all the way out there only to find that I wouldn't be able to exchange it.

The regifting is unlikely, as her name doesn't begin with the same letter as mine. But I fully suspect that it's possible it was on sale, and wasn't bought at the pricetag price, which is why I offered the 50% option.

Anyway... waiting now to see if I need an original receipt or not. The gifter is a nice person. I don't think she'll be offended. When I give people gifts, I want more than anything for them to have something they really want (which is why I use the lists when available). I don't think any reasonable person would be offended if someone thanked them for a gift, but explained that it isn't something they can use, and expressed a desire to replace it with something they would really cherish.

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

Wow there are some harsh words for the OP.

To the OP, I understand where you are coming from. For me, I enjoy buying for people and like to think of myself as a great gift giver. If the family goes by a list and everyone knows it, then the list should be followed. I have received gifts in the past that make me wonder if people in my family actually even know me.

The biggest issue I see here is the shortness from the store. The store can explain their policy and NOT make any exceptions but say it in a way that a person still feels like a valued shopper. From what was described, that did NOT happen.

 

[Good Morning Dewdrop]

I don't consider it a business transaction. However, I do consider it a transaction that is consentually entered into under a proscribed set of guidelines that people should be expected to follow. You don't enter into a $20 gift exchange, for example, and spend $5, or $500. You don't enter into a gift exchange where names are drawn and buy a gift for someone other than the name you drew. You shouldn't enter into a gift exchange based on lists and then not use those lists, unless you have no other recourse. It's pretty simple to me.

I have to agree with the OP overall on this one - I would be annoyed in this situation too.

To me the gift giver basically threw her $$ away by giving a gift that won't be used/ appreciated.

I like giving gift cards and my nieces/ nephews all know that's what they're getting for birthday/ Christmas and to let me know what store they want it to. That said if one of them said "I don't want a gift card this year - here's a list of what I'd like" (and it was in the accepted price range) I would certainly buy from the list. I want to get people things they want/ need/ will use. To give someone a gift card when they expressly say they don't want one is disrespectful.

 

[Princesca]

Wow there are some harsh words for the OP.
To the OP, I understand where you are coming from. For me, I enjoy buying for people and like to think of myself as a great gift giver. If the family goes by a list and everyone knows it, then the list should be followed. I have received gifts in the past that make me wonder if people in my family actually even know me.

Yes, exactly that... that's something I didn't even mention. And the next poster too, who said "To give someone a gift card when they expressly say they don't want one is disrespectful."

I probably didn't title this thread exactly right, or hit all the notes I wanted to hit in my initial post. It was a lot of little things all related to this one experience that just snowballed into each other. It was someone not following agreed-upon rules, it was feeling like my requests were not just ignored, but that they almost went out of their way to ignore them (which I'm sure isn't the case - just the way I felt about it), it was the store owner being so intractable and terse, it was my recent experiences in general with small businesses in my community, some stellar, some not... it was just a bunch of stuff. Thanks for understanding.

 

[luvmy3]

I have to ask- is it really worth getting this worked up over a COFFEE MUG that was GIFT???

No kidding. I can't imagine even trying to exchange a travel coffee mug in the first place, if I didn't use it I'd give it to someone who would, or I'd put it in the Goodwill pile.

 

[momxx5]

Honestly, if this thread.......the unacceptable gift, the "not keeping to rules of gift giving, the "list of wants(demands), and the customer service or lack there of.......

IF THIS IS NOT A JOKE on all of us,

then SADLY the OP has no touch with reality (as pointed out that she had no idea how little $20 can buy) or that most people would let it go.

To harbor such......I cannot even think of word....disappointment, etc. shows that OP had absolutely no understanding of what Christmas is truly about. May a visit from a Christmas Carol ghosts would be in order.

In the words of my wise deseased Granmda......"she is to be pitied".


OR like I said......it could all be a joke (disturbed as it may be).

 

[Swan4Me]

Wow, sorry you had such a terrible experience.

A bit of perspective may be needed to fully understand how the original post came off:

We had a very meager Christmas.
Two of my kids got IOUs and another got needed sneakers, one got only a sweathirt. The youngest got her Santa wish....lucky uner $50.
DH & I got nothing.

Sure I have a list of 15 things I would love to have, inluding new eyeglasses, new shoes, not even getting into the "wishes" like a new purse or coat, etc. Even fluffy socks would be appreciated.


.

So why the HECKdid you buy your son's girlfriend Boots and shoes (which is wayyy too personal for a young "first Girlfriend, BTW)and hairbows and whatever-and not get your own kis anything but an IOU????

I'm flabergasted

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

Is there some sort of history here that I am missing??? I am not sure why there is so much animosity towards the OP.

She has adamantly stated that this is the way her family exchanges gifts. If you don't like it, then don't do it in your family. I hardly think this means she lacks the Christmas spirit.

I know times are tough for a lot of people but geesh, don't beat up on others because life is bad for you right now.

 

[momxx5]

SWAN FOR ME:

DS spent his own money.....actually boots & blanket came to much less than $20 including tax.
Boots: $35 on sale for $25, maked down to $16.49, less 30% - $11.55, plus blanket of $5 less 30%....AND it was his own money!!!
So that point is mute.

Old Navy cheetah print boots are too personal???? Really, what about a sweater/shirt, calander and framed pic of both of them....because that is what she got him.

So needless to say.....she got her wish gift (asked parents for boots) and you think its personal. That is interesting.

As for what I could and could not afford my kids, that was persective to the OP complaining about recieveing ANY gift.

 

[Princesca]

Yeah... thanks PoohGirl. In fact, it doesn't make me a saint, but to all those people accusing me of the worst sorts of things, I did adopt an angel this year through my mom's church, and spent way more on her than I intended to, gifts that were given anonymously. My mom told me that the little girl's dad had been out of work for quite awhile, and his benefits were about to run out - I well know what that's like. I have no problem with gift giving of that sort. I just make a distinction about an exchange. That, to me, has a different sort of intent, or impetus.

And I live fairly frugally throughout the year just SO I can do things like that. I also give money to the Red Cross. Again, anonymously. Part of the reason I like Christmas so much, and like to get the things on my list, is that I don't buy myself things throughout the year. Now, we're saving up for the Disney trip, for my niece, but that's a big exception to the rule. Mostly, I don't buy myself anything unless I really need it. I buy all my clothes at Wal-Mart and my shoes at Payless, for the most part. I buy exclusively store-brand groceries. I get my hair cut and wash it at home so I don't have that extra cost. I almost never get manicures or pedicures. There are some nights we eat rice and a can of chicken, just to be able to put aside more money to pay off our HELOC, which is my goal for 2012. It's not a sob story - I get super geeked over paying off debt. The sacrifices are worth it!

So when Christmas comes around, it feels really nice to finally have things that I have been wanting all year... which makes it all the more disappointing when someone goes off the beaten path and spends money on me for something I can't use, that's just going to go to waste.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The biggest issue I see here is the shortness from the store. The store can explain their policy and NOT make any exceptions but say it in a way that a person still feels like a valued shopper. From what was described, that did NOT happen.

Likely just a standard reply. While it could possibly have been worded less abruptly, any type of apology ("We're sorry to tell you...") opens the door for the customer to negotiate - as the OP had already tried.

 

[Swan4Me]

This thread is why I am so glad we stopped exchanging (adults) gifts a LOOOONNNNGGGG time ago


I would get things I didnt want, didnt want to display, didnt want to eat or drink (You like wine-here's a bottle of $5 cheapo Rose')

 

[Princesca]

This thread is why I am so glad we stopped exchanging (adults) gifts a LOOOONNNNGGGG time ago


I would get things I didnt want, didnt want to display, didnt want to eat or drink (You like wine-here's a bottle of $5 cheapo Rose')

Yeah - much as I hate to say it, I think my family is also at that stage where we'll probably soon split into smaller groups at Christmas. The grandkids (of which I am one) have all started their own households, and we're up to almost 20 people now, some of whom I really only see at holidays and honestly know less and less about every passing year. It makes me sad, because I have so many fond memories of how it was when my cousins and I were all kids, but when you get to a point where you DON'T know someone well enough to shop for them without a list, should you really even be shopping for them, period?

 

[Pooh2]

Being from NH, I have participated in many Yankee gift swaps and they can get very UGLY! So that may not be the best way to go for this poster! I have actually "forgotten" my gift at home more than once to avoid being part of the action!

Does seem like a lot of stress over a coffee cup. I would give it away or drop it off at a Goodwill store.

 

[beaucoup]

Simple. If you can't be happy with the gift you received, stop participating in ANY gift exchanging and go buy your own gifts.

I never come out even with Christmas. I end up donating $ and spending more on others when you compare it to what you get in gifts that you want or needed. Most people probably do. If you are looking to come out even or better, again, it might be time to stop participating. Donate the mug, give it away, or sell at yard sale & move on.

Gift giving has always been a money losing process for me. Accept it or don't play.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Not exactly true - you spent money on someone else in the gift exchange, so you are, in effect, out whatever the agreed-upon amount is because you gave with the expectation of receiving, according to the way the exchange is set up.

Look at it this way... if you went to a Blockbuster, and gave them $5 with the expectation of renting a movie for a night worth $5, and instead they gave you a $5 value meal from McDonalds, wouldn't you be irritated? I don't really see that this situation is so different. If someone gave me that gift apropos of nothing, sure... I wouldn't have had the same reaction. It is a kindness that is nothing reciprocal - just a gift. But a gift exchange is different, in my opinion. People participate and agree to abide by the rules of the exchange.

Nope. I'd consider it an unexpected surprise. I surely didn't plan to leave Blockbuster with a Value Meal, but great! Now I have dinner, and I can watch whatever's on TV while I eat!

Okay, Mari... let us know how you feel the next time you go to a restaurant, EXCHANGE your money for an equal value of food that you chose from the menu, and they bring you something that you not only did not order, but will not, cannot, eat. I fully expect you to honestly say, "Oh, no, I cheerfully gave my meal to a starving person on the street corner and went without dinner that night, having no ill feelings at all toward the restaurant. Oh, no! I'd never send it back!"

HUGE difference between 'will not' and 'cannot'.

You will not graciously accept the mug and the gift card and move on. You can but you won't. Your signature says this is your first grown-up trip to Walt Disney World, but all due respect, you're going on and on like a spoiled brat. And yes, i realize you didnt just reach adulthood.

You didn't get anything from your list, so you're pouting and complaining here. To make matters worse, you don't like the abrupt response you got from the store or their return policy. Try reading this thread impartially - yes, it will be hard - and see why people are responding the way we are.

 

[Princesca]

Being from NH, I have participated in many Yankee gift swaps and they can get very UGLY! So that may not be the best way to go for this poster! I have actually "forgotten" my gift at home more than once to avoid being part of the action!

Does seem like a lot of stress over a coffee cup. I would give it away or drop it off at a Goodwill store.

I've only ever see it get the fun kind of rowdy... I think my family could handle it, especially as all of our family gatherings are of the non-alcoholic variety.

 

[Princesca]

HUGE difference between 'will not' and 'cannot'.

Not in this case. I literally can't use it for its intended purpose so I will not use it. I don't drink coffee beyond a shot of espresso in the morning, before I leave for work, which would be ridiculous in a mug that big.

However, now that you mention it, I could possibly repurpose it into a pen/pencil cup or some sort of vase. Thanks for the idea.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I don't consider it a business transaction. However, I do consider it a transaction that is consentually entered into under a proscribed set of guidelines that people should be expected to follow. You don't enter into a $20 gift exchange, for example, and spend $5, or $500. You don't enter into a gift exchange where names are drawn and buy a gift for someone other than the name you drew. You shouldn't enter into a gift exchange based on lists and then not use those lists, unless you have no other recourse. It's pretty simple to me.

Maybe she didn't. Or maybe she thought you'd really like the travel mug, and didn't want the responsibility of picking a scent for you, or maybe she has a poor sense of smell. Maybe she was thinking outside the box.

As for what you spend, that can get interesting. I'm a very canny shopper. I'm great at finding deals. I spent between $15 and $20 (the given range) on my Yankee Swap gift this year; there were four items in the bag and the total value was $38.

When we were kids/teens, we had a very low gift budget - $5 or $10 each. One of my brothers gave another some piece of electronic equipment he'd won. Worth about $150... but cost nothing.

 

[Princesca]

Gift giving has always been a money losing process for me. Accept it or don't play.

This has been the first year for me that this has been the case in our family gift exchange. (As I said before, outside of a gift exchange, there aren't really any preconceived notions of what you'll spend or what you'll get someone, so that's perfectly fine in those cases, and I expect an imbalance, or the occasional gift that isn't my cup of tea.) But in our family exchange, usually, people keep the tradition, everyone gets something they really want, and everybody's happy. This is the first time I can remember, certainly in the past five years, that anyone's gone off the reservation, so to speak. So it might indeed be time to either restate the general rules, or in some other way change the process. Or simply just stick to buying gifts for the people who really matter to you, and not the people you don't know so well. Lots of options to consider, anyway.