Venting a little bit.....

[JB2K]

I get that men are different, but if I'm trying to get us the best deal, as well as low crowds, etc, I'm a little upset that he's not rolling with the punches. We've got plenty of time to get things done, it's going to be late Oct early Nov.....why be lukewarm??

Ahem.

In your post, you managed to single-handedly insult "us men" -- some of us guys like to save a few bucks here and there, too (does the name "Clark Howard" ring a bell?).

Instead, you're perpetuating a stereotype that Disney, themselves loves to portray (the ditzy dad who is, as you say, "lukewarm") -- it's on all of their "tween" programming on Disney Channel.

Sadly, it's not the first time this sort of thing has happened...

 

[Zooshoveller]

Our first trip I did 99% of the planning. It kind of hurt that he wasn't really involved. We talked and he said he knew I didn't need his help but apologized because he then realized that I wanted his help. The next trip I did 75% of the planning but he wanted constant updates. This upcoming trip has been 50/50. <3

 

[pigletto]

I think it's important to point out that at least in our case, my husband is really busy. Through most of our trips he was juggling work and a heavy school load. He was too tired to plan a trip, but boy did he relax and enjoy taking them. Once I understood that his lack of enthusiasm wasn't about me, or us or going away with us, it went much smoother. Like someone else said, he was happy for me to play travel agent. He has a few restaurants that are absolute "No's" and a few that he loves every time. He has 2 resorts (Boardwalk and Coronado Springs) that he prefers to the others. But honestly that's about it. So as long as I make sure that I include things that I know he likes, everything else is gravy. The constant chattering about schedules and discounts just stresses him out.

 

[ssawka]

It's not just men! In our house, I am the Disney Trip Planner and until the day we are leaving, DW could not care less about our plans. Sure, I tell her about any plans I've made and she gives me the obligatory "uh huh"s, but I can tell she really could care less. Well so that she realizes how much planning goes into taking a trip, I told her she had to plan our entire beach trip for the summer. Realistically, I will probably have to do some things or items will get overlooked.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Ahem.

In your post, you managed to single-handedly insult "us men" -- some of us guys like to save a few bucks here and there, too (does the name "Clark Howard" ring a bell?).

Instead, you're perpetuating a stereotype that Disney, themselves loves to portray (the ditzy dad who is, as you say, "lukewarm") -- it's on all of their "tween" programming on Disney Channel.

Sadly, it's not the first time this sort of thing has happened...

Unbunch those panties there, Nancy.

 

[RayRay13]

My DH is the same. I drive myself nuts organizing everything and when we finally get there he'll ask questions because he knows I've done all the research. Lol. Now I get him involved by having him do the spreadsheet. (This took a little prodding) (I use this for the chosen parks of the day, it helps keep track of EMH and restaurant reservations and flight info) I don't plan hour by hour, but I don't like sitting around for hrs asking what do you want to do for the day either After all if my months of planning, I will hold a quick q & a during dinner a couple of times (say once a month) to get ideas on what things are a must do and restaurants they would like to try and to see how they feel about the arrangements already planned. This way I know that I have done the best I can with their input and if they don't voice when asked then they can't complain.

I am a mad planner too but I think my DH's head would explode if I showed him a spreadsheet (which I think is an excellent idea, btw).
I mentioned in on another thread that I have stopped requiring my DH to go to Disney and we do not discuss how much it costs when I go with the kids.
I caught some flack for being a husband leaving, money hiding, family vacation ruiner but really it isn't that way at all. He's a great husband and father but after our first few family trips, I realized that he was one of "those parents"! Ack!
He gets over tired and starts reminding the kids how expensive the trip is!!! Gasp!!! He actually told them to stop running around!! What?? By day 2 someone is in tears (usually me). Clearly, he is not accustomed to the "magic". I have tried to explain it but he just doesn't get it.
He grew up in a modest neighborhood in Mexico City. He was not programmed to love Disney the way I was and "the Raton" would give him sticker shock even if we were millionaires. It also took him a while to understand Christmas as the husband and father of Americans but he's coming around, lol.
We live in So. FL so with season passes and no airfare, the kids and I go 4 or 5 times a year for 4 to 7 days at a time. Believe me, he's glad that we have fun and equally glad that he doesn't have to participate.
We do take family vacations to other places so I still get to drive him insane with my planning. I can see how that might not work for every family if they only get one trip a year.
Rambling post is complete!

 

[aubriee]

Pigletto is right. Be careful what you wish for. Your DH may have an (gasp!) opinion that doesn't agree with what you know is best. Then, what would you do!?!

You can get advice here, but nobody will know if you don't listen!

So true or they come up with what they think is a great idea just a week out from your trip. I am the planner in our group too. My husband has no interest in planning, but always comes up with what he thinks is a great idea at the very last minute. Like the times he's made the comment just a week out from a trip "Why don't we eat at Ohana's this trip", or "Hey I think I might want to eat at Le Cellier's this trip", or "Do you think it's too late to book another Illumination's cruise, like we did a few years ago?" He refuses to have an opinion during the planning phase of a trip, but then always comes up with what he thinks is bright idea a week to a few days out from a trip.

 

[aubriee]

My DH always tells me it doesn't matter what he thinks because he knows I will change it all a million times before we ever go....and he is 100% correct

Information overload.

So true!

You've given him a plan, changed it, changed it again, will continue to change as you go. He doesn't want to know all the minute details about the current plan because he knows this isn't the final plan.


That's my take on it - as a man

I think it's a man thing. My husband says the exact same thing. He always tell me, to just plan it and let him know when to be where. He doesn't want to hear about the details, because he knows I always make changes on the fly.

What gets me though is that when asked, he always says he doesn't care what we do, but then every single trip he'll make some comment, just before we leave, wanting me to add something that's impossible to add. Our trip this past Dec I had all planned out (and had already bought tickets for things like Sea World, Universal, Blue Man Group, a monster truck ride at Citrus Showcase, and a swamp boat ride, meaning all things I had booked specifically for him, knowing he would enjoy them) when he came up with the brilliant idea to add a beach day at Cocoa Beach. I showed him the itinerary and asked him which day he expected me to add it to and since the tickets I had bought were nonrefundable, which did he want us to lose money on. The man's response: "I know you can figure it out, just add it in somewhere". I moved things around and was able to get his beach day in, but it would have been alot easier if he'd told me he wanted it, when I'd asked him for his input months (or even weeks before) before I had something else planned for every day. There have been times he's come up with some idea on the plane ride down there and expects me to make it happen. I'm good, but I'm not Samantha on Bewitched, yet he expects me to be able to just twitch my nose and make the magic happen!

 

[tina.tina]

So true or they come up with what they think is a great idea just a week out from your trip. I am the planner in our group too. My husband has no interest in planning, but always comes up with what he thinks is a great idea at the very last minute. Like the times he's made the comment just a week out from a trip "Why don't we eat at Ohana's this trip", or "Hey I think I might want to eat at Le Cellier's this trip", or "Do you think it's too late to book another Illumination's cruise, like we did a few years ago?" He refuses to have an opinion during the planning phase of a trip, but then always comes up with what he thinks is bright idea a week to a few days out from a trip.

2 weeks before our last trip, DH decided he might want to fly after all. Of course, prices were terrible by then!

 

[JenDisFan02]

Hahahah, thanks everybody We talked about it last night and he said that he is very excited, and wants to help, he didn't realize that was how I was feeling. It's the way our relationship is that he laughed when I said fly when I say fly. We are ducks I guess, and things roll off our backs.

Life is good, and it goes on with Disney planning.

 

[hsmamato2]

Information overload.

You've given him a plan, changed it, changed it again, will continue to change as you go. He doesn't want to know all the minute details about the current plan because he knows this isn't the final plan.


That's my take on it - as a man

yep I have a DH and sons...and while my ds2 likes to chat a bit about planning...mostly I come here to obsess..... I usually just tell them the dates,and and the plans. They come along and enjoy. That's how it works. That allows me to obsess and change things all I want, and no one cares,except when I tell my DH the final cost tally so he can be truly amazed

 

[Ensusieasm]

When we go on a trip and everything goes smoothly my husband thinks everything falls into pace by luck.... Ha ha..... If he only knew how much thought and planning went into our trips. I learned long ago not to bore him with the details. However, if I didn't plan so carefully and our vacation became the tiniest bit stressful because of poor planning, he would be the first to complain and never return. So, it's all on me. But I enjoy the planning so much that I love it this way, even if dh thinks it just all goes so well accidentally! Lol

 

[akl2004]

It's not just men! In our house, I am the Disney Trip Planner and until the day we are leaving, DW could not care less about our plans. Sure, I tell her about any plans I've made and she gives me the obligatory "uh huh"s, but I can tell she really could care less. Well so that she realizes how much planning goes into taking a trip, I told her she had to plan our entire beach trip for the summer. Realistically, I will probably have to do some things or items will get overlooked.

It's the same thing in our house. The thing for me is, I guess I am a control freak with vacations. I make all of the arrangements, whether its Disney, the beach, or even a business trip for DW that the kids and I tag along for. She is so busy with work, and all the other things going on that, honestly I am afraid trip planning would not get the attention it needs. I' m not saying it would be bad, but I just feel better if I have done the planning. As for the obligatory "uh huh's", yep, same thing here. For our trip last Oct, she started to really get into it about 2 weeks out, asking about things I had told her about 2 months ago. At first I was irritated, but then I was just happy she was getting excited. Once we got there she started to get how much planning was needed with dinner reservations and the scores of other things that were taken care of. Now she just tells me to do my thing.