VENT- Other people's kids!

[CowboyCO]

DSIL, DW and DMIL went out tonight for a Mother's Day celebration. I kept DS 12 & 9 and DN's 13 and 10 tonight at the house. At 10:00, after a movie I get them all situated in bedrooms and about an hour later I hear some giggling and noise coming from the DN's bedroom. I knocked on the door and DN13 is on her cell phone. Talking to a boy. She seems unfazed, sio I suggest that she get off the phone and that it is WAY too late to be talking to anyone on the phone.. "But he called me", she replied. I suggested that late night calls from friends are best left to voice mail. 10 minutes later I check in on them and now she is texting him. I took the phone and turned it off.

DN 10 calls her Mom on her cell phone and they complain that I took DN13's phone. I get a call from DSIL asking why I took away her phone. I explained and she asked me to give her daughter the phone back so that her daughter could call her if she needed her. I politely declined and let her know if her daughter needed to call her, she could come ask me for my phone. I would make sure that when DN went home in the morning that she would have her phone.
I don't really care that she is upset with me.

Who the H-E double hockey sticks lets their 13 year old daughter talk to boys late at night?

Vent over. Phone is on my nightstand...

 

[goofy!]

DSIL, DW and DMIL went out tonight for a Mother's Day celebration. I kept DS 12 & 9 and DN's 13 and 10 tonight at the house. At 10:00, after a movie I get them all situated in bedrooms and about an hour later I hear some giggling and noise coming from the DN's bedroom. I knocked on the door and DN13 is on her cell phone. Talking to a boy. She seems unfazed, sio I suggest that she get off the phone and that it is WAY too late to be talking to anyone on the phone.. "But he called me", she replied. I suggested that late night calls from friends are best left to voice mail. 10 minutes later I check in on them and now she is texting him. I took the phone and turned it off.

DN 10 calls her Mom on her cell phone and they complain that I took DN13's phone. I get a call from DSIL asking why I took away her phone. I explained and she asked me to give her daughter the phone back so that her daughter could call her if she needed her. I politely declined and let her know if her daughter needed to call her, she could come ask me for my phone. I would make sure that when DN went home in the morning that she would have her phone.
I don't really care that she is upset with me.

Who the H-E double hockey sticks lets their 13 year old daughter talk to boys late at night?

Vent over. Phone is on my nightstand...

While I agree with you on principle about kids texting at night, you have absolutely NO right to keep the phone after the mother has asked you to return it.

Not your kid and obviously her rules are different than what you approve of.

Obviously, her mother allows her to text boys late at night.

 

[DebbieB]

While I agree with you on principle about kids texting at night, you have absolutely NO right to keep the phone after the mother has asked you to return it.

Not your kid and obviously her rules are different than what you approve of.

Obviously, her mother allows her to text boys late at night.

It's the OP's house, their rules.

 

[mamacatnv]

13 years old, 10 on a Saturday night, whats the big deal?
I agree with the above poster, you had no right to keep the phone.

 

[mamacatnv]

It's the OP's house, their rules.

The Mother of the niece asked that the phone be given back.

 

[mamacatnv]

DN 10 calls her Mom on her cell phone and they complain that I took DN13's phone. I get a call from DSIL asking why I took away her phone. I explained and she asked me to give her daughter the phone back so that her daughter could call her if she needed her. I politely declined and let her know if her daughter needed to call her, she could come ask me for my phone. I would make sure that when DN went home in the morning that she would have her phone.
I don't really care that she is upset with me.

Who the H-E double hockey sticks lets their 13 year old daughter talk to boys late at night?Vent over. Phone is on my nightstand...

I can tell you this much, my kids would never stay with you again. The first highlighted comment alone suggests to me that you are on some sort of power trip or have issues with your SIL.

Highlighted comment #2 - Obviously your SIL

 

[tallulah77]

Perhaps the niece and her mother should have a little more respect for other peoples house rules?? Maybe people do have differing standards when bringing up their kids but, when in Rome!!!!! (Do as the Romans do. In case any of you didn't get the last bit!!!!)

 

[Tink888]

Your house, your rules.

That said, why I remember this I have no idea but I remember a prior post from you where your family had gone to dinner with SIL's family and you were venting about the behavior of your nieces at dinner that evening. Maybe it's just different parenting styles, maybe you are stricter than your SIL but you really come off like you have a general dislike for your nieces.

While it was great of you to babysit so your wife, SIL & MIL could have a nice night out, maybe you should just avoid being around your nieces altogether. I'm not trying to be rude but if you come off this way to a stranger on a message board, I guarantee that your nieces can pick up on the vibe you give off and it isn't good for anyone, especially kids.

FWIW, a 13 year old texting or talking on their cell phone after 10:00 pm on a weekend wouldn't have bothered me in the least. Midnight would have been my limit but that's me. We're all entitled to parent as we see fit.

 

[cluvsdisney]

At 11pm, I don't think a 13 year old needs to be on the phone either. If I were in your shoes, I would be more angry my sil did not support your rules which were not unreasonable. This would be the last time I offered to babysit the girls.

 

[tasha99]

At 11pm, I don't think a 13 year old needs to be on the phone either. If I were in your shoes, I would be more angry my sil did not support your rules which were not unreasonable. This would be the last time I offered to babysit the girls.

I agree with this. Kids are kids, and I don't find it surprising that a 13 year old would try to text at night. To me the big problem wasn't the texting and phone confiscation, but that her parents weren't willing to let there be a consequence (and it's not even one that's a big deal). I would not babysit again.

 

[MushyMushy]

13 years old, 10 on a Saturday night, whats the big deal?
I agree with the above poster, you had no right to keep the phone.

ITA.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

DSIL, DW and DMIL went out tonight for a Mother's Day celebration. I kept DS 12 & 9 and DN's 13 and 10 tonight at the house. At 10:00, after a movie I get them all situated in bedrooms and about an hour later I hear some giggling and noise coming from the DN's bedroom. I knocked on the door and DN13 is on her cell phone. Talking to a boy. She seems unfazed, sio I suggest that she get off the phone and that it is WAY too late to be talking to anyone on the phone.. "But he called me", she replied. I suggested that late night calls from friends are best left to voice mail. 10 minutes later I check in on them and now she is texting him. I took the phone and turned it off.

DN 10 calls her Mom on her cell phone and they complain that I took DN13's phone. I get a call from DSIL asking why I took away her phone. I explained and she asked me to give her daughter the phone back so that her daughter could call her if she needed her. I politely declined and let her know if her daughter needed to call her, she could come ask me for my phone. I would make sure that when DN went home in the morning that she would have her phone.
I don't really care that she is upset with me.

Who the H-E double hockey sticks lets their 13 year old daughter talk to boys late at night?

Vent over. Phone is on my nightstand...

I guess that would be me. Except my kids moved beyond texting and they Skype.

If my dd's were on their phone, computer, or whatever...I would not know because I am downstairs. Frankly I do not care. Once they hit middle school I am done playing warden of what time do you go to bed.

 

[java]

Clearly you don't have girls. I have a 13 year old girl and yes I let her talk on her phone after 10 on the weekends if she wants. I don't get how that bothered you I guess if you had stated in our house we don't talk to anyone after 9 vs "suggesting" it I could maybe see your point with her ignoring you, but suggesting isn't strong enough to a 13 year old.

 

[Disney Doll]

My house, my rules.
There are other phones available if the kid has an "emergency".
If my SIL didn't like it, she could come and pick up her kids at 11pm.

 

[plutotek]

My house, my rules.
There are other phones available if the kid has an "emergency".
If my SIL didn't like it, she could come and pick up her kids at 11pm.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[MIGrandma]

After reading the replies, I'm surprised others think you were wrong to take the phone away and not give it back. It's your house, your nieces need to abide by your rules, or they don't need to spend the night. If their Mother was so insistant that you give the phone back, she should have come and picked up her daughters and taken them home. I don't think there is any reason for a 13-year-old girl to be talking or texting to boys late at night. Maybe if she were 16 or 17 it would be a bit different, but not at 13.

 

[Helene]

I guess that would be me. Except my kids moved beyond texting and they Skype.

If my dd's were on their phone, computer, or whatever...I would not know because I am downstairs. Frankly I do not care. Once they hit middle school I am done playing warden of what time do you go to bed.

This is exactly how it is in my home.

However, I would expect my kids to follow the house rules of where they are & to be respectful about it.

 

[islandmum]

If my dd's were on their phone, computer, or whatever...I would not know because I am downstairs. Frankly I do not care.

That will NEVER happen in my house. I do care who they are communicating with - especially online.

I'm a parent for life, but especially until they are 18 and in my home I will act as a parent and protect and monitor what they are doing in a reasonable way. The computer is in the family room where all can see it.

I give my kids trust, and they are responsible, but its not their actions I worry about - its more others out there online who can influence them. I'm not like big brother, I dont hang over their shoulders for everything they do but they have bedtimes, there are rules, and a certain amount of structure is a good thing.

Phones, meh, as long as its before bedtime no problems, after that they will be downstairs, turned off until the morning.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

It's the OP's house, their rules.

Yep...If I am in charge of other people's children, I will treat them exactly how I treat mine...the good and the bad.

If this is a rule I have in my home when my kids are young teens, then everyone will follow it.

The girl was asked to put the phone away and she didn't. She had her chance to comply.

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

Personally, I think this is an example that many kids have no respect for adults now. When I was a kid I would never have the nerve to call my mom at 11pm to tell on an aunt or uncle that was watching me unless it was something terrible that happened.

And if I were the parent that was called I would say "do what your aunt/uncle says!"