*vent* Is your parenting style different...

[remyandhollandsmommy]

than your mothers?

Mine sure is! My mom, while I am sure loves me alot, has NO concept of parenting. I was allowed to run WILD as a kid and teen with no rules and somehow turned out good (maybe because of other family members influence). Now that I have my own kids I have tons of rules that my mom hates. If I hear the words, "I never did that to you and you turned out good," one more time I will...okay I don't know what I will do but it will be bad! My mom thinks a 7pm bed time for DD(5) is too early and that I shouldn't make DD clean her own room?!
Okay, I got mad because my DD(5) took off to a little girl down the streets house while I was giving the baby a bath. She knows never to leave the house without permission (not to mention I would insist on walking her to this kid's house), but waited until I was busy to sneak out. I mean, she could have been hit by a car or kidnapped and I wouldn't have known, so yes I grounded her from tv and playing with friends. BTW, I did not spank Remy because I was WAY to mad (and scared) to go near her. My mom said this is ridiculous and she should not be punished because, "I never did that kind of thing to you, Angela." While I love my mom, she was one of those parents that did not want to be "bothered" by kids and spent most of her time with the man in her life (married 4 times, boyfriends, well I can't count that high ). She did settle down with my stepdad Bob (who is a great dad) when I was 14, but by that I was desensitized to a father figure and did not give the poor guy a chance. I moved out when I was 16 (I had a job and still graduated with honors from HS) and got married at 18 (best decision of my life ). My mom has slowly become a wonderful parent since I moved out and normally we get along great, but she is just not parenting material. Her experience with kids after all is limited and I was the parent growing up. She just offends me when she critizes me about my being too strict with my kids when I AM NOT. When I was younger I used to wish for a sibling (would have been nice to have someone who understood mom) but it's a good thing I didn't because we would BOTH be heading to therapy! Sorry to vent, but we just had a 3 hr phone call about this.

 

[MHopkins2]

This is sure to be an unpopular opinion, but I vote you just tell her to **** (nicely or not so nicely, depending on your relationship) about your parenting methods. I see no reason why you should have to debate her for three hours(!) in one day. That's just absurd.

 

[GoofItUp]

Well, I wouldn't use the 'f' word, but I would tell her that it's your child and you'll be making the parenting decisions, thank you very much.

 

[meandtheguys]

Originally posted by MHopkins2
****

I wish people would just write things out!!!! I am having a terrible time here!

Per the topic, my MIL, whom I love, ripped into me last week because I would not send my 7 yr old up to sailing camp at their club. Phooey on them!

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by meandtheguys
I wish people would just write things out!!!! I am having a terrible time here!

Sent you a PM.

 

[sunni]

My mother thinks I'm too hard on my kids, my father thinks I'm too easy. That's how I know I'm doing something right!

 

[onecoolmama]

YUP! And that same thing happened to DH the other night! I went to the store, he went to the bathroom and he came out to find the 3yo and 1yo out playing in the front yard. They got punished (well, time outs)!

My mom is always questoning me to my face, but to others (at least they say) she tells that I am a good mom. Oh dont even get me started on the family meeting I had when I wanted to get DD's ears peirced or how I put my 2yo on time outs! Even wanting to get DD speach therapy becuase she needed it! Big familly discussion.

It is rediculous! But, other than that, she is a huge help..so those times when I have had it I just say I am the mom.

They even debabte me on names! LOL!

 

[PrincessDeb]

I agree with your response. That's what I would have done as well.
On a side note, when I was five, I left and went to a friend's house like that-I "told" my parents but they were new in the area, didn't take me seriously and didn't know who to call. Man were they mad when I came home! My father spanked me but it's the only time that I remember him doing so.
Deb

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I look at it this way. They are the grandparents, they can freely comment but I take what is necessary and leave the rest. But I have always been like that with them so it is no big deal.
If you remain calm & confident in your dealings with her then she will react in the same way.

 

[aprilgail2]

Mine is different too but the opposite...I am easier on my daughter.
Though a 7pm bedtime...boy I wouldn't like my4 year old going to bed that early! I get home at 4 and that would only leave 3 hours to do things together. She has swimming lessons at 7pm on Thursdays and 7pm story hour at the library other days......most days she is in by 10 pm, sometimes she will fall asleep a little earlier, sometimes later...depends on what kind of day its been.

 

[Disney Doll]

In the future, don't have a 3 hour discussion with her about your parenting style. It's very simple..."my child, I'll decide how to parent her".

 

[doxdogy]

My father use to do something similar when our DD was a child. He would tell us not to fuss at her, that she was just a kid. After wasting my breath a few times trying to argue my point, we would just wait until we got in the car on the way home. She was old enough to understand that Grandpa wasn't going to be in the car on the way home. He once told my DH that he was getting even with us. Because, when I was little he was told not to fuss at me by my grandparents.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with Disney Doll. If you really spent 3 hours discussing your parenting style (and defending it?; I wasn't sure), that's WAY too long.

I also agree that a simple "My child; my rules" is all you need to say.

Opinions are like belly buttons - everyone's got one!!