vent - family and money

[tigger_gurl1]

man money is just about the worst topic to discuss with people, isn't it?

if you tell them you have it, they want a part of it.

if you tell them you don't have it, they want a part of it.

then they throw in that you just bought yourself X, Y and Z so you shouldn't say you don't have any even though you really don't.

ugh

 

[MushyMushy]

We had to learn the hard way. Zip the lips and never speak of money.

 

[Acklander]

I don't talk about my personal finances with family or friends.

 

[DWGal210]

I hear ya....I was taught not to talk about $$ but I'm always shocked how many people I casually know at best will volunteer info on their finances. I'm nit saying you're doing this, OP - not at all. But I am always surprised at how nosy people are into others finances. I've found the best way to deal with it is just to ignore them. All they want is to draw you into their drama OR create more of it.

I've been where you are You have my sympathy!

 

[tigger_gurl1]

well sometimes with family, it's not that you tell them you have money. they just assume it.

1) get a new job - obviously you have income coming in to help them with X,Y,Z
2) buy your kid a new bike - well that means you should by cousin Suzy one too.

you just can't win

 

[hentob]

well sometimes with family, it's not that you tell them you have money. they just assume it.

1) get a new job - obviously you have income coming in to help them with X,Y,Z
2) buy your kid a new bike - well that means you should by cousin Suzy one too.

you just can't win

What do you mean you can't win?

If you buy a bike for your child and someone demands you buy one for their child, you laugh in their face and then you walk away. Don't look back.

Your problem is solved

 

[C.Ann]

well sometimes with family, it's not that you tell them you have money. they just assume it.

1) get a new job - obviously you have income coming in to help them with X,Y,Z
2) buy your kid a new bike - well that means you should by cousin Suzy one too.

you just can't win

I think I'm confused by your post as well.. What difference does it make what your other family members "assume"?

 

[1stluvispooh]

We never discuss money with anyone but everyone thinks we have more than what we do. And tell us what we can afford and or should spend our money on.

 

[tlbwriter]

Sure, you can win. By refusing to play. Never feel you have to explain why you aren't spending your own money on someone else. Just say "Of course I bought a bicycle for my child. I can't imagine why you think that means I'm required to buy a bicycle for someone else." Don't plead poverty, don't make excuses. Just refuse to discuss it.

 

[scrapquitler]

I don't talk about my personal finances with family or friends.

This.

 

[Cee]

Never...........

 

[manning]

Grandpa took all his money with him when he died. Big bucks too. Shocked that grandma agreed she was asked by her sister why she allowed it to happen. she said why not it was his. If he needs it he can cash the check I put into his pocket. She did close the account just in case.

 

[ameraumi]

And if you don't help, you get talked about and that person brings the entire family in on it!!!

 

[snykymom]

My sole answer to those kind of comments: "I never count anyone else's money. Please don't count mine." (And I've never had anyone assume or ask that because I've bought something for my child/immediate family, I should do the same for someone else's. I can't even imagine that!)

 

[OceanAnnie]

man money is just about the worst topic to discuss with people, isn't it?

if you tell them you have it, they want a part of it.

if you tell them you don't have it, they want a part of it.

then they throw in that you just bought yourself X, Y and Z so you shouldn't say you don't have any even though you really don't.

ugh

Wanting and getting are two different things.