Velcro vs tie sneakers for 5.5 yo

[mom2aredhead]

We went sneaker shopping the other day, and my husband and I were battling over velcro vs. tie sneakers for my 5.5 year old. He won, mostly because he constantly referred to the velcro ones as "baby shoes", so of course my son didn't want to get them. So now he has shoes that he does not know how to tie.

Yes, I know I can teach him (and anyone that has tips for that, let me know) And the sneakers would not be a big deal, but he's very quiet and does not like to ask for help, which he will need to do at camp on Monday. Or he can wear his crocs all day, which I'd prefer he didn't do because they're on the fields and in the dirt quite a bit and I'd prefer he have closed shoes without holes.

So...if your child is around this age, can they tie their own shoes? And I mean really tie them, not some resembelence of a knot that comes undone in 4 minutes...or do they still wear velcro?

 

[mjkacmom]

Since I have a bunch, close in age, we do velcro until 2nd grade. Then they learn to tie them, and they learn very quickly. DH has no say in our children's shoes.

 

[VBAndrea]

My ds learned to tie at the beginning of first grade since I found some tie shoes I adored. He picked up on it quickly, though hated doing it and could never do it tight enough. On gym days they had to switch to gym shoes and then he'd put his shoes back on and never get them tied tight enough. I broke down and bought a less expensive and not as cute velcro pair and now he won't touch the tie ones. I am now still trying to buy velcro shoes whenever I can find them for ease and quickness.

To teach a child to tie take the top of a gift box or a piece of carboard and put two holes in it spaced about an inch apart and put a shoelace through it. You have to teach them initially but once they understand you can let them practice on the board. DS hated practicing as well -- it wasn't nearly as fun as playing.

 

[2poohbears]

my twins will be 6 in SEPT, and they still can't tie shoes. our school requires that they wear tie shoes, not velcro. it's a PIA. i would buy velcro in a heartbeat, if they would let me.

i just bought 2 different color shoe strings, and put them through a board, as the poster mentioned above. i'm trying to teach them using that. their fine motor skills are still developing, so it's going to take a bit of time. i think using the 2 different color strings helps them to see which string is going through which loop, etc.

 

[sohappy]

My oldest can't tie shoes, but I have not ever worked on it. He loves his slip on shoes with the elastic on the sides (usually from Old Navy or sometimes Converse). Maybe this summer we will work on it.

 

[wrighter]

My son just turned 6 and he cannot tie yet. I know I will need to teach him, but history has proven that where he is concerned it makes no sense to push him into anything. When he's ready to learn I'll happily show him the way.

Until then, we have chosen what I will call "toggle" shoes - sneakers and sandals with the bungee-cord-like strings and a toggle where they tighten them. This way I don't have to help him, but he doesn't appear to be wearing "baby" shoes.

So far they have worked well, held up well, and he likes them.

 

[mom2aredhead]

Thanks everyone...

It makes me feel better that he is not the only one this age that cannot tie! It really is a PITA - I've tried teaching him, but he just hasn't gotten it yet. The two different color laces is a great idea! I'm going to try that - maybe if I tell him loop the RED around the WHITE it'll sink in a little more.

I'm just glad this is my biggest problem today!

 

[teachallday]

As an elementary school teacher, I find a LOT of kids K-2 have velcro shoes. As a teacher it is a lot easier when then do. As a teacher that teaches kids how to tie shoes, I find it a lot easier to teacher if they are at least 7 years old. Yes I can teach kids younger, but I prefer to wait till they are 8. By then they usually have the coordination and motivation to learn.

The next recommendation I will give you is go to the store this weekend and get him new shoe laces. The ones that will come with the shoes will almost certainly be too long, which will lead to them coming undone more. Look for some of the newer shoe laces that are wavey like. Those waves or bumps make it harder for them to come appart. But the biggest thing is to get the right length.

Good Luck - - personally I would bring the shoes back and get the velco ones and have a conversation with your husband away from your son about how much of an idiot he is being. (as a guy I have no hesitation saying that) I would also turn the task of teaching the shoe lace tying over to your husband and having him tie the shoes whenever they need tying. If he wants to push your son into something before he is ready, make him feel the consequences of that action. If he complains, remind him that you still could go get some velco shoes for your son. Forcing him to be in charge of the lace shoes seems like a very good LOGICAL consequence for his actions.

 

[mom2aredhead]

Good Luck - - personally I would bring the shoes back and get the velco ones and have a conversation with your husband away from your son about how much of an idiot he is being. (as a guy I have no hesitation saying that) I would also turn the task of teaching the shoe lace tying over to your husband and having him tie the shoes whenever they need tying. If he wants to push your son into something before he is ready, make him feel the consequences of that action. If he complains, remind him that you still could go get some velco shoes for your son. Forcing him to be in charge of the lace shoes seems like a very good LOGICAL consequence for his actions.

I already told my husband that he needs to teach him, before camp on Monday morning, how to tie his shoes tightly and correctly or go and get velcro ones. They've been out all day today, so I presume they are not working on learning to tie right now...but maybe they're shopping??

Seriously, I never thought I'd do battle over shoelaces. I don't know why he has such a hang-up about the velcro...they wouldn't make them in that size if they didn't think kids would still be wearing them. It's not like I'm stuffing his feet into the toddler size Elmo shoes for crying out loud...

 

[grace&philipsmom]

My daughter learned how to tie shoes properly just after her 5th birthday. She was determined to get it and it was a great source of pride for her to do so. I had told her I wouldn't buy her "tie"shoes until she learned how to tie laces, and that when she was able to do it properly we would go to the store and she could pick out her own shoes with laces.
I guess it was all the motivation she needed!

 

[brymolmom]

All I can say is that my 5.5 dd can do it but my just 7 year old ds still has issues - can do it but VERY poorly (doesn't stay tied). I just caved and bought him tie sneakers that he likes to motivate him to try harder. But he still has zip-up ones that he wears when he's going places that re-tieing them all day would be a pain.

At a camp or at school (unless it's against the rules - that is SO STRANGE to me) - all I can request is PLEASE either make sure your kids know how or send them in velcro. So many moms I know get the cute tie-shoes for their girls and send them to school knowing they can't tie them. As a volunteer in the classroom I have no idea how the teacher gets ANY teaching done with 22 kids needing help with their shoes 5 times a day! I'm only in the classroom for and hour and a 1/2 and I inevitably tie about 3 - 5 during that timeframe. I think it's a teacher's responsibility to teach reading and writing NOT to tie my kids' shoes.

 

[MSSANDRA]

most 5 year old boys can not tie shoes. The camp staff would really thank you if you went back and got a 2nd pair to wear to camp and when you guys are not along. Let him wear the "ties" when he is with dad!!

 

[mom2aredhead]

At a camp or at school (unless it's against the rules - that is SO STRANGE to me) - all I can request is PLEASE either make sure your kids know how or send them in velcro. So many moms I know get the cute tie-shoes for their girls and send them to school knowing they can't tie them. As a volunteer in the classroom I have no idea how the teacher gets ANY teaching done with 22 kids needing help with their shoes 5 times a day! I'm only in the classroom for and hour and a 1/2 and I inevitably tie about 3 - 5 during that timeframe. I think it's a teacher's responsibility to teach reading and writing NOT to tie my kids' shoes.

So true! That's why he was in velcro all school year, and why I wanted him in velcro for camp. I want him to be able to put on his socks and shoes HIMSELF without stressing over it. Since they swim at camp, he needs to be able to change out of his wet bathing suit and into a full change of dry clothes, socks and shoes included.

 

[AngelBabyJana]

My 5 yr old son can't tie his shoes yet either. My 10yr old daughter can tie her shoes, but they NEVER stay tied long, we are always stopping while she re-ties them. It seems like everywhere we go we are always stopping to tie shoes, which can be a pain. I went to Academy and bought them both a pair of Nike shoes with the velcro strap. They both love them, they are still "in style," and I know that they are good quality shoes (doesn't look babyish at all for either of them). I know that it is important for kids to learn how to tie their shoes, but these make it so much easier for them.

 

[mom2aredhead]

Guess who just came home from the mall with a really nice pair of Nike velcro sneakers
I guess they were shopping after all!

 

[Britgirlus]

Guess who just came home from the mall with a really nice pair of Nike velcro sneakers
I guess they were shopping after all!

LOl, that is so funny My just turned 6 year old can't tie his shoes yet. We haven't really worked on it much - I run a daycare, so have always bought him velcro to make it easy on myself. It drives me CRAZY when kids get big enough to put on their own shoes (we work on this alot, it makes it alot quicker to get up to 12 kids ready and outside by myself) - and then the parents go and buy them shoes with laces that I have to tie. Just as they have gained a little bit of independence, wham, it's taken away from them. When my son started K last year, he wore velcro shoes - and he will this year in 1st grade, unless I make the effort to teach him in the next few weeks

 

[ireland_nicole]

Glad you were able to get velcro after all; my DS is just starting to comfortably tie at 7.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

Funny you should post this today, I was *trying* to teach my 5yo how to tie today. We have these cute stringing cards shaped like shoes with colored "laces" that go with them and my son is a visual learner and has excellent fine motor skills so I thought he would pick it up right away. I was wrong. But I will also admit that I'm not a good teacher. My DS that just turned 10 can tie all kinds of Cub Scout knots and still can't tie his shoes either .

 

[TheRatPack]

My almost 6 year old ds can't tie shoes, he has some delays and other issues going on so we buy him those elastic slip on NewBalance, they also come in extra wide so we can fit his arch supports in there. My 6 year old dd is learning to tie her shoes and my 4 year old dd has his own idea of how to tie a shoe.....funny that sometimes it actually works out. I think it depends on your child, some kids like the challenge and try and try till they get it. Others could care less (my 13 year old) and think that it's just something to slow her down as she's walking out the door....LOL

 

[daisyduck123]

Hi!
1st grade teacher chiming in

Velcro gets my vote -- all the way!!!!

Let me tell you, so many kids at school walk around with their shoelaces untied. It drives us teachers CRAZY!! I have a rule, and I tell parents on Back to School Night, that I will not and DO NOT tie shoes. I tell parents that if their kids don't know how to tie shoes they need to either teach them well, or buy velcro.

**My "no shoe tying rule" is due to the fact that 1st graders shoelaces are GROSS . Many of them are wet because the classroom bathrooms have little puddles around the toilet from where the boys don't aim well. Then the kids come in and step in them with their untied laces hanging all over....right in the little puddles!! Once again...I will not ties shoes, esp. ones with wet laces.