Valentine's Question

[disneyfav4ever]

What would you do if someone other then your boyfriend/fiance/husband bought you something for Valentine's?

 

[lovemygoofy]

Was it harmless? I would say thank you if it was. If it was intended for any other reason I would have to either gently refuse or make sure that the giver knew I was already in a relationship.

 

[MickeySP]

My boss does but it is to all the female employees. Nothing big just a token usually

 

[disneyfav4ever]

It wasn't a "big" thing, but my DF is kind of jealous. He does get jealous kind of easily, but he has always been like that, ever since we first started dating. I think it's funny that he's jealous, especially since he doesn't even really care about Valentine's day, and he has absolutly nothing to worry about, which he knows.

Of course the person who gave me the Valentine's thing also wanted to buy me my dinner last night, which I did refuse, and when I told DF about that this morning, he said he would have been jealous if the guy had bought me my dinner.

 

[KariC]

Was it harmless? I would say thank you if it was. If it was intended for any other reason I would have to either gently refuse or make sure that the giver knew I was already in a relationship.

Tina always has such good advice.

Say, "Thank you", but do let him know that you are committed to your fiance. Don't feel like you need to respond by giving him a gift.

Meanwhile, tell your fiance that you want something FROM him for Valentine's Day....a dinner out, some flowers, a cheesy music-playing Hallmark card. Start training that boy.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I definatly am not going to be getting him anything for Valentine's, I did thank him but it was kind of weird that he did get me something.

DF does always get me stuff for Valentine's, even though he doesn't really care about the actual holiday itself. I always get him a card, but he never wants a present. The other day he said he'd like anything from me, so I'm going to put that to a test. We sell kits for making your own Valentine's, which are more for kids then anyone else, but there's a Disney princess one, so guess what DF will be getting.

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

What would you do if someone other then your boyfriend/fiance/husband bought you something for Valentine's?

Not sure... I know my DH hasn;t gotten me anything for years and this year he bought a stuffed animal for a female co-worker I know I didn;t like THAT at all

 

[mommasita]

Hopefully you ONLY told your boyfriend to be honest, and not with the purpose of making him jealous. I hear of that too often

I would have rejected it as well, and been honest with this other person. But, I doubt I would have told my boyfriend, actually I know I would not. I have been there, it has no good purpose.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Hopefully you ONLY told your boyfriend to be honest, and not with the purpose of making him jealous. I hear of that too often

I would have rejected it as well, and been honest with this other person. But, I doubt I would have told my boyfriend, actually I know I would not. I have been there, it has no good purpose.

I tell my fiance everything, and I'm always very honest with him. Plus, if he saw it sometime, and asked me where it came from, I wouldn't want to have seem to have "hidden" something from him. Does that make sense?

 

[Mickey&Donald]

Meanwhile, tell your fiance that you want something FROM him for Valentine's Day....a dinner out, some flowers, a cheesy music-playing Hallmark card. Start training that boy.

This is offensive. He's a man, not a dog. There's no need to "train" him.

Believe it or not, not everyone is into Valentines Day. And that's okay! Many of us recognize that it's a purely Hallmark Holiday and utterly meaningless otherwise.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

This is offensive. He's a man, not a dog. There's no need to "train" him.

Believe it or not, not everyone is into Valentines Day. And that's okay! Many of us recognize that it's a purely Hallmark Holiday and utterly meaningless otherwise.

I don't think it's meaningless, I think it's a day to show your SO that you love them.

 

[mommasita]

I tell my fiance everything, and I'm always very honest with him. Plus, if he saw it sometime, and asked me where it came from, I wouldn't want to have seem to have "hidden" something from him. Does that make sense?

It does make sense. I am just giving my viewpoint. I would not have accepted it, so I would have nothing to show him. I would have declined the gift. To each his own.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Not sure... I know my DH hasn;t gotten me anything for years and this year he bought a stuffed animal for a female co-worker I know I didn;t like THAT at all

Why??? Do you know this female or why he is giving her a stuffed animal? I'd be finding out very quickly if I didn't know what's going on or he'd be eating that stuffed animal.

 

[lovemygoofy]

This is offensive. He's a man, not a dog. There's no need to "train" him.

Believe it or not, not everyone is into Valentines Day. And that's okay! Many of us recognize that it's a purely Hallmark Holiday and utterly meaningless otherwise.

Kari is just kidding. Alot of people hate V-day and alot of people celebrate it. Whatever people like that's fine. I do think that young woman, especially new in love, really like celebrating that day and there is nothing wrong with wanting something on that day. There are alot of threads on here about women's expectations not being met for holidays or anneiversaries and if she tells him upfront that she expects something or at least her desire be known there is less likely a chance of broken communication or hurt feelings.

 

[Disney Doll]

If it was a guy friend, I'd say thank you. I have a friend at work like that...we goof around a lot. We both like Disney, so when either of us goes with our respective families, we bring a souvenir. Last time I went I brought a 4 keychain set (one for him, one for his wife, one each for his 2 kids). He brought me Disney candycanes one time...he was there right before Christmas. No biggie.

If it was someone that I thought was expecting "more" from a relationship with me, I'd be very honest and tell him that I am happy with my DH (or in your case, DF).

I would also keep my relationship with him at work on a very professional level. And try to fix him up with a single friend or co-worker.

 

[KariC]

Kari is just kidding. Alot of people hate V-day and alot of people celebrate it. Whatever people like that's fine. I do think that young woman, especially new in love, really like celebrating that day and there is nothing wrong with wanting something on that day. There are alot of threads on here about women's expectations not being met for holidays or anneiversaries and if she tells him upfront that she expects something or at least her desire be known there is less likely a chance of broken communication or hurt feelings.

Thanks, Tina....never meant to offend. Surprised that someone was........but kidding seems to be taken out of context here on the dis a lot lately.

 

[CF'er]

Tina's on the right track with the stuffed animal but I'd stuff it in the other end. lol

 

[disneyfav4ever]

And try to fix him up with a single friend or co-worker.

I actually kind of feel sorry for the guy, because I lot of the people I work with think he's just a geek/nerd. They were saying yesterday that I am probably the only girl he has ever talked to. I've always been nice to him, but I've never been, (what I consider anyway,) flirty or anything but just friendly to him.

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't think it's meaningless, I think it's a day to show your SO that you love them.

it is not that way for everyone though. I have been with my DH for 27 years. He will sometimes take me for dinner, once in a while a card, mostly nothing. I am worse. I almost never get a card but will on occasion cook a special meal.

We never forgot the kids, my DD, my sons and my nieces and nephews always got a gift and card and the kids always got a special meal. We do the same for my DGD now.

My DH shows me every day that he loves me and cares about me. I do the same for him. I don't care one whit about gifts or cards and never did. Valentines day is a nice day but it sure can make some people feel left out or not valued if one counts on outward signs for proof of love and affection.

I worked with man who was always praising his wife, talking about his family. They had date night one evening each week and went away once a month without the children. He was always buying his wife gifts and sending her flowers. He also had two GF on the side, one was pregnant when he was terminated for using the conference room as his free hour hotel room.

Nope, if a gift on certain days matters it's fine but it doesn't matter to me at all. I take my guy who trips over his words, can't find his way around a Hallmark store, sends my DD out for presents to a spa, and makes sure that I have a comfortable life, works so that I can stay home and care for my DGD, saves so that we can enjoy family vacations, hands me a glass of wine when it is clear that I am stressed and will eat a tuna sandwich so I don't need to cook.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

We never forgot the kids, my DD, my sons and my nieces and nephews always got a gift and card and the kids always got a special meal. We do the same for my DGD now.

See, now that I don't get. Yes, you love your kids, but you are not "in" love with them, so I don't see what the point of celebrating with them is.