Vacation without dad

[megnsamsgracie]

My husband was laid off about a month ago. We both worked at the same place and thankfully, my job was spared (they layed off over 150ppl!). We have a free dining trip planned for Sept. And I also have a dep on a Dec trip because I couldnt make up my mind. My husband had a promising job interview today with the schools. He was offered the job. Now he has to mull it over and he isnt sure he will get time off. We have a non refundable cruise already booked in August for just him and I so he was already upfront with them on that. But we usually do one vacation for just us, one with the kids. If he cant get either Sept or Dec off... not sure what we will do. I said I will take the kids on one of the 2 trips by myself. He said sure, but then I feel bad for NOT taking him! And our son wrestles and plays baseball so if we cant go even in Dec. as a family, I would have to postpone it until next summer. Anyone take 4 kids to Disney WITHOUT the other parent??? We are hoping they will give him time, either Sept or Dec would make no difference to us.. but if they dont?

My FIL just passed away this past Saturday and its been rough on the kids.. we live NEXT DOOR to the IL's so they were very close to him. It was also a very unexpected passing so the kids need some time. Hubby said maybe we should just add the kids to this trip... but it WAS supposed to be adults only. Our friends we are going with are wonderful and I am sure they would gladly welcome the kids.. not to mention, the kids could go to the kids club and there are still rooms available.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Please don't assume that your friends will be happy to have 4 kids along on an adults only trip. Even if they LOVE your kids they may still want a childless vacation.

My son is 10 going on 35. He loves fine dining and the theatre and can carry his own end of conversation in virtually any social setting. He is often invited on outings to which other children are not. I still am careful never to assume it will be okay. He's still 10. Having even the nicest children around changes the tone of a Disney trip and sometimes it's just not what people were hoping for.

 

[Kenenitz]

That is a sticky situation. We planned a beach trip two years ago with friends of ours. At the last minute we were informed that they would really appreciate if they could bring the kids. I smiled and said of course no problem. But truth be told I would have rather backed out and gone just my dh and me. I know that might seem mean and I have no problem with the girls, they play with our kids all the time. However, we planned this trip and kinda splurged because we wanted the alone time as couples to be adults.

Although the vacation was ok, it definitely put a damper on things. If we could go back in time I would have cancelled. We spent a lot of money on a vacation to have some time away from the kids and we ended up dealing with other peoples. And to top it off, my kids missed out on a vacation we could have taken them on. (My parents already planned on taking them on a mini vacation to the parks)

I guess I should add for us it was a little different.. we rented a house.. so the kids were there 24/7 and at night we had to be quiet as not to wake them, we had to schedule around them and they were loud and playing in the pool and it was not the relaxing get away from he kids weekend we wanted. I guess if we'd at least taken our kids we could have justified the expense, but it was money that we would never have spent if we knew they were bringing the kids..

I'm sorry I don't want to be a bummer but I'm just trying to be honest..

I hope his work is understanding and lets him have the time off you need!!!

 

[jen2207]

Maybe you could invite someone to go with you on the WDW trips to help out? Your MIL? (if able) or someone else so that you can still have the hubby-trip and the kids still get their disney trip too? Another family member, or relative, or girl friend???

 

[Darcy03231]

Since DH hates WDW and hasn't been back since the first trip, I've taken the kids by myself on every trip since then and we have four kids (I also have double the vacation time he does). It's worked out fine and the kids and I have a great time! I would do the cruise with just the two of you and then take the kids in September for free dining. Explain that Daddy would like to go but with his new job he can't. Then plan a trip for next year with the whole family. I definitely wouldn't take the kids on the adults only planned trip. I would be very upset if we planned an adult only trip and then our travel partners brought their children (and my kids would be upset too since they love to cruise).

 

[Momvic5]

I say take the kids. I had rather take the kids and have a family vacation than have an adults only vacation and a WDW vacation without my DH. However, I love family vacations, and if DH wasn't with us, it just wouldn't seem like a real vacation to me.

I am sure your friends would understand. They may be disappointed, but this is your family's chance to vacation together. Anyone would understand that. If I am correct in my thinking, the adults' vacation was planned with intentions of a family vacation later. I guess your decision should be based on what you think you and your family will be happy and satisfied with. I know our vacation would be drastically different if DH wasn't there to enjoy and experience it with us. I am sure it would still be fun. It would just be different....On the contrary though, an adults only vacation may be worth the difference?!

 

[megnsamsgracie]

Well... taking them wouldnt be possible at this point unless I spend like an additional $4000 on the cruise!! There are no rooms that hold 4 anywhere near us on the ship.. even if we moved to a different deck. And I honestly dont think our friends would want to add kids anyway. But I already asked our babysitter to come along if we go in Sept (didnt get a final answer yet anyway). So that is an option too. Well I guess I will just wait and see if DH can get the time off anyway and if he cant.. then deal with it!

 

[Redbudlover]

I say be considerate of your friends. They signed up for an adults only trip. If you decide you can only take one trip with the new job - and don't want to take the kids by yourself later, don't ask your friends to accept your kids - bow out and take the kids on a different trip with your DH.

As a recruiter who negotiates new hires' wishes all the time, I would say your DH would be pushing it to ask for more than one vacation his first year. Even if they said yes, it could create an impression of his not being serious about the job. I would recommend he not even ask for the second vacation. Making a good impression at a new and important job is more important than taking a bunch of time off.

If he truly doesn't object to you giong alone with the kids, I would go for it. I used to take my kids by myself a lot because my ex didn't like any kind of vacation that didn't involve camping and excavating arrow heads. We had a great time without him.

 

[megnsamsgracie]

From my understanding, with this new job (going by a friend who currently works at the high school) there is a LOT of time off. They start earning from day 1. He has been there 13 years and gets "as much time off as I work". Supposedly you earn vacation time VERY fast there, its not a set amount of time off. I wouldnt ask him to ask for more time. He really wants this job. I also would never push our kids to come on our adults only trip either, they have been wonderful to us during this hard time. If he cant go in Sept or Dec I will probably just take our babysitter and go without him. And if she cant come, I will take the kids myself. I earn vacation time each week, 2hr a week time and I only use it 2 times a year, 1 wk with DH and 1 week with the family.