Useless facts/Chit Chat Thread

[BRDof3]

See, I told you I was normal, after all!

 

[Born 2 Fish]

See, I told you I was normal, after all!

You do mean, normal from the Born 2 Fish perspective,,right ?

 

[Born 2 Fish]

Got two things for you,

1. "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

2 "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

3 "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide".

okay maybe it's three things.

wait, heres a couple more,

4."The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially if other people are around."

5."If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets."

 

[Born 2 Fish]

Rained last night,, now it's 32 degrees out.

Watch for slick spots ya'll.

 

[Born 2 Fish]

If you can't hold it together with Duct Tape,
,then just forget it.

And if you don't believe me then just ask Whipperwhirl .

 

[Born 2 Fish]

Always keep several get well cards on the mantle...
So if unexpected guests arrive, They will think you've been sick and unable to clean.

 

[clkelley]

It is December 3rd. For the first time in 12 years I am not at or on my way to Disney.

(Bah Humbug)

 

[Born 2 Fish]

Okay ladies , this is for you, so listen up.

"The good wife's guide" This is an actual article from the Housekeeping Monthly Magazine 13 May 1955

Ø Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Ø Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Ø Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Ø Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Ø Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then tables.

Ø Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Ø Prepare the childrens. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Ø Be happy to see him.

Ø Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Ø Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Ø Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Ø Your goal: to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself.

Ø Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

Ø Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

Ø Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Ø Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Ø Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

Ø A good wife always knows her place.

 

[Tnbob]

oh this can't turn out well.


Good luck Frank

 

[Just Beachy]

And then the husband woke up from his wonderful dream....
Thank GOD we've come a long way from THAT!!

 

[MandMLUVMMandDVC]

I love the crap where he can go out to dinner or to 'other entertainment' or stay out all evening and you aren't supposed to question or complain. ok, so I just use the frying pan across his fat head and then on the rearend of whoever is getting his attention. that'll work. (unless I'm packing my 9mm, it'll work better)

 

[DaveInTN]

I can't wait for Denise to chime in.

 

[Lil' Lisa]

.

 

[clkelley]

Okay ladies , this is for you, so listen up.

"The good wife's guide" This is an actual article from the Housekeeping Monthly Magazine 13 May 1955

Ø Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Rick usually has dinner ready for me when I get home

Ø Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Rick is pretty good at this, cause he usually has a good nap every afternoon

Ø Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Yeah, whatever, I usually get a smile when I get home

Ø Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
The house is always spotless when I get home

Ø Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then tables.
Once again house is spotless

Ø Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Oh well, this isn't gonna happen, if it's above 68 in the house, it's too hot

Ø Prepare the childrens. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
No little ones

Ø Be happy to see him.
Yep

Ø Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Yep

Ø Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Yep, he listens to me gripe about work

Ø Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Hey, if he wants to go out, cool!! I get the house to myself for a bit

Ø Your goal: to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself.
Yeah, the house is pretty peaceful, but that happens when the kids grow up

Ø Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
What problems??

Ø Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Don't worry I don't

Ø Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Yep, sit in the recliner, my netbook is sitting there, and a Dew is on the end table.

Ø Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, soothing and pleasant voice.
The shoes are off before we even get in the house

Ø Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
Or so he thinks

Ø A good wife always knows her place.
Or so he thinks

This is really, really funny

 

[BRDof3]

You have no right to question him.

Ø A good wife always knows her place.

See, Wife, even Frank says this is so. Now, cater to my every whim. after all, I'm the master of the house.

(btw Frank, got a spare couch for the next few years? I may be needing one, if I get that far before I bleed to death.)

 

[2goofycampers]

The Good Man’s Guide
Her life is just as important as yours. I know that after a long day at work/school/the bar all you want to do is come home and complain about your coworker/hungover classmate/drunk, but you have to keep in mind that she’s had a rough day too. Don’t gloss over when she’s trying to tell you about the things that are bothering her.
Cleaning is your job, too. One of the hardest habits to break for many is the idea of traditional gender roles, i.e. a woman’s place is barefoot and pregnant cooking dinner whilst running the vacuum. Admittedly, that example is a little (or a lot) extreme, but many men find themselves on the couch watching TV after dinner instead of helping their significant other clean up after dinner or even just doing regular household chores like cleaning the bathroom.
She doesn’t always want sex. Unless you’re a very lucky guy, chances are your lady friend does not want sex as often as you. Her job in life is not to please you, so keep that in mind at night.
Don’t greet her with complaints and problems. The first thing she wants to hear when you walk in the door is not how much you hate your life. Coming home with something positive to talk about, or even just listening for a while until you unwind, is a good way to set the tone for the evening.
Don’t expect her to be responsible for dinner. If your girl is the one who always takes care of dinner, it will likely be a nice relief some nights if she comes home to a ready meal. Try to take care of dinner an equal amount in the week, even if it’s nothing fancy. If cooking isn’t your strong suit, let her know that you’ll be taking care of dinner for the night by grabbing some takeout. Afterwards, clean up the dishes and tell her to relax. Doing this should also set the tone for a peaceful evening.
Don’t question her judgment. Sometimes when a girl is complaining, she just wants to get something off her chest and move on. For the most part, it’s better to take her side instead of questioning her reasons for being pissed. Even if you think she’s completely wrong, there are certain times that you have to know when to keep your mouth shut.
Be honest. If something is bothering you about her, your day, or anything in general, don’t let it build up inside. This is a good way to avoid having major fights when there doesn’t need to be one. The longer you let something bother you, the more likely you are to let something little trigger a huge fight when there shouldn’t have been one in the first place.
The golden rule. Do unto her, as you would have her do unto you. Simple enough, and always a good rule to keep in mind.
It may seem like the guidelines I’ve pointed out in “The Good Man’s Guide” are simple and easy to follow, but it’s just as easy to get out of practice and have a good relationship go bad. One final thought to keep in mind is this:

A good man always knows his place.

 

[Lil' Lisa]

.

 

[DaveInTN]

Do unto her.

I actually like this part.

 

[BRDof3]

The Good Man’s Guide
Her life is just as important as yours. I know that after a long day at work/school/the bar all you want to do is come home and complain about your coworker/hungover classmate/drunk, but you have to keep in mind that she’s had a rough day too. Don’t gloss over when she’s trying to tell you about the things that are bothering her.
Cleaning is your job, too. One of the hardest habits to break for many is the idea of traditional gender roles, i.e. a woman’s place is barefoot and pregnant cooking dinner whilst running the vacuum. Admittedly, that example is a little (or a lot) extreme, but many men find themselves on the couch watching TV after dinner instead of helping their significant other clean up after dinner or even just doing regular household chores like cleaning the bathroom.
She doesn’t always want sex. Unless you’re a very lucky guy, chances are your lady friend does not want sex as often as you. Her job in life is not to please you, so keep that in mind at night.
Don’t greet her with complaints and problems. The first thing she wants to hear when you walk in the door is not how much you hate your life. Coming home with something positive to talk about, or even just listening for a while until you unwind, is a good way to set the tone for the evening.
Don’t expect her to be responsible for dinner. If your girl is the one who always takes care of dinner, it will likely be a nice relief some nights if she comes home to a ready meal. Try to take care of dinner an equal amount in the week, even if it’s nothing fancy. If cooking isn’t your strong suit, let her know that you’ll be taking care of dinner for the night by grabbing some takeout. Afterwards, clean up the dishes and tell her to relax. Doing this should also set the tone for a peaceful evening.
Don’t question her judgment. Sometimes when a girl is complaining, she just wants to get something off her chest and move on. For the most part, it’s better to take her side instead of questioning her reasons for being pissed. Even if you think she’s completely wrong, there are certain times that you have to know when to keep your mouth shut.
Be honest. If something is bothering you about her, your day, or anything in general, don’t let it build up inside. This is a good way to avoid having major fights when there doesn’t need to be one. The longer you let something bother you, the more likely you are to let something little trigger a huge fight when there shouldn’t have been one in the first place.
The golden rule. Do unto her, as you would have her do unto you. Simple enough, and always a good rule to keep in mind.
It may seem like the guidelines I’ve pointed out in “The Good Man’s Guide” are simple and easy to follow, but it’s just as easy to get out of practice and have a good relationship go bad. One final thought to keep in mind is this:

A good man always knows his place.

Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Oh wait, you were serious?

Bwahahahahahahahaha!

 

[Lil' Lisa]

.