UPDATED:Depressed about Disney trip... Vent... POST 60

[skhermsmeyer]

Well, we were going to come down to Disney for 8 nights in December with my mom, sister, DH, DD, DS, and me. Now my inlaws want to come for the whole trip. FIL is 83 and MIL is 72. Neither one gets around very well and it takes MIL 2 HOURS to get through Walmart for groceries (Extremely SLOW walker).

Now DH wants to cut back tickets from 6 days to 2 because his parents can't get around and neither one of them would ever use an ECV. I don't get the sudden interest! When they drive down to our house they only stay for 1 day! 2 at the most! They just want to sit around at the house we plan on renting and "take it easy". I go stir crazy when they come down because they literally just sit on the couch and watch the Weather Channel all day long. My mom and sister are paying their own way and chipping in on the house. MIL and FIL aren't paying for anything (they have yet to get our DD a gift when she was born). And now that my MIL & FIL are coming, my mom and sister won't come.

Our DS will be a little over 3 and our DD will be 14 months. They aren't going to want to sit inside the same house for over a week. This is going to be our 1st vacation together as a family. My mom and sister were going to help take care of the kids and they didn't expect us to entertain them at all. We would go our different way in the morning and then meet back up. With my inlaws, I have no say whatsoever in what we do. My MIL doesn't even listen to me and acts like I'm not even there when I do talk.

What was supposed to be fun is now just looking like it's going to be a pain in the a**. I'm not looking forward to it at all and I've been planning this for a few months. I just can't stand the thought of sitting around for over a week at Disney. I mean, we could do that at home without spending any money.

Sorry so long. Just needed to vent. Rant over!

 

[zus888]

Wow. That sounds miserable. Did they just invite themselves? Can't your DH just say, "No." I mean, you are paying to have a fun vacation. I don't even understand why they want to go at all.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

Well, we were going to come down to Disney for 8 nights in December with my mom, sister, DH, DD, DS, and me. Now my inlaws want to come for the whole trip. FIL is 83 and MIL is 72. Neither one gets around very well and it takes MIL 2 HOURS to get through Walmart for groceries (Extremely SLOW walker).

Now DH wants to cut back tickets from 6 days to 2 because his parents can't get around and neither one of them would ever use an ECV. I don't get the sudden interest! When they drive down to our house they only stay for 1 day! 2 at the most! They just want to sit around at the house we plan on renting and "take it easy". I go stir crazy when they come down because they literally just sit on the couch and watch the Weather Channel all day long. My mom and sister are paying their own way and chipping in on the house. MIL and FIL aren't paying for anything (they have yet to get our DD a gift when she was born). And now that my MIL & FIL are coming, my mom and sister won't come.

Our DS will be a little over 3 and our DD will be 14 months. They aren't going to want to sit inside the same house for over a week. This is going to be our 1st vacation together as a family. My mom and sister were going to help take care of the kids and they didn't expect us to entertain them at all. We would go our different way in the morning and then meet back up. With my inlaws, I have no say whatsoever in what we do. My MIL doesn't even listen to me and acts like I'm not even there when I do talk.

What was supposed to be fun is now just looking like it's going to be a pain in the a**. I'm not looking forward to it at all and I've been planning this for a few months. I just can't stand the thought of sitting around for over a week at Disney. I mean, we could do that at home without spending any money.

Sorry so long. Just needed to vent. Rant over!

Sorry..that sounds awful Could you and DH approach your inlaws that you could do a separate trip with them..that you and your family are splitting the costs for the house rental...and it wouldn't be fair to invite others.

If they do go they certainly can't expect you to stay in the house with them and not go to the parks? maybe I misunderstood that

 

[luvsJack]

I am all for a loving family and all but NO WAY!! If they want to "relax at the house", why can't they do that while you and your family are at the parks?

Your dh needs to sit down and explain to them what kind of vacation this is and what all you plan to do. You and your kids nor your mom and sister should have to sacrifice because they want to come for the whole time and spend it laying around the rental house.

 

[skhermsmeyer]

Nope, we're supposed to stay at the house with them instead of going to the parks. Instead of going to the park for 6 days, we'd only be allowed to go 2 days. "We are driving all the way from Illinois".

They invited themselves when we told them we were going to rent a house. FIL thought it was stupid of us to go to WDW when we were going to stay on Disney property. I don't get the sudden interest.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

Nope, we're supposed to stay at the house with them instead of going to the parks. Instead of going to the park for 6 days, we'd only be allowed to go 2 days. "We are driving all the way from Illinois".

They invited themselves when we told them we were going to rent a house. FIL thought it was stupid of us to go to WDW when we were going to stay on Disney property. I don't get the sudden interest.

Well sorry but that's just plain crazy.. My advice is to stand up for yourself.. Get DH on board and tell them no way in heck are you driving all the way to FL to sit in a house.. It sounds as if your DH is okay with that if he is saying only get 2 day tickets... I think the discussion starts there. Then have him deal with your inlaws on how ridiculous that is

 

[JUS915]

How bout you get yourself a 6 day pass, and leave your husband with one kid at the house while you go to the parks on the other 4 days.

 

[luvsJack]

Nope, we're supposed to stay at the house with them instead of going to the parks. Instead of going to the park for 6 days, we'd only be allowed to go 2 days. "We are driving all the way from Illinois".

They invited themselves when we told them we were going to rent a house. FIL thought it was stupid of us to go to WDW when we were going to stay on Disney property. I don't get the sudden interest.

Why? I don't think I understand how you can not be "allowed" to go 6 days. If they don't like Disny, so be it; they have a choice. Why don't you?


Since your mom and sister are not going, can you tell them that you are having to switch it back to staying on property?

 

[jj1403]

I would get your husband to communicate with his parents. They can come if they want to but you will be spending 6 days at Disney. So it they don't want to sit around the house by themselves maybe they shouldn't go..

I feel sorry for you. But I definately wouldn't budge on this especially since they invited themselves...

Good luck.

 

[robinb]

So, your elderly in-laws will be driving all the way from Illinois? I find that almost as scary as having to sit in a house with them for 6 days.

My mom is *slow*. My MIL is slower still. They both rent ECVs while at WDW (although watching my MIL drive one is ).

I don't have any advise except that you will need to come up with a compromise with your DH. Somewhere between "We leave Mom and Pop alone at the house all day" and "We spend every waking minute watching the Weather Channel".

One question: why won't your mom and SIL come if your in-laws come?

 

[gillenkl]

Nope, we're supposed to stay at the house with them instead of going to the parks. Instead of going to the park for 6 days, we'd only be allowed to go 2 days. "We are driving all the way from Illinois".

They invited themselves when we told them we were going to rent a house. FIL thought it was stupid of us to go to WDW when we were going to stay on Disney property. I don't get the sudden interest.

ummm, isn't the whole point to "go"to the parks and not sit in house. You can sit in a house at home. OP, I suggest you stand up for yourself now or consider cancelling this trip. This sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

OMG no!! DH needs to stand up and say something. We took DH's grandma for our wedding in '06. It was *miserable.* She moves so slowly, hated the heat, didn't like being away from home, and no one wanted to sit back at the hotel with her during the day. I was stressed, MIL and SIL cried. Arguments ensued. It was a DIS-aster. Don't make our mistake.

 

[kjmommie]

We took my mamaw in December. She cannot get around well and does not have the Disney stamina that the rest of us have. We got her a wheelchair and pushed her through the parks. However, she did rest for most of the mornings and went home early evening. One person or more would take her back to the hotel room.

This made it easy on everyone and she was happy with the arrangement.

That being said if your husband and family doesn't like the arrangement it would be hard to do. But it does seem a waste to drive down and only visit for 2 days!!

 

[sashagiselle]

Oh wow, I think you should stick to your original plan that included your mom and sister and have your husband tell his folks that you guys will plan a seperate vacation that includes them. Don't let yourself get railroaded into this, it will be a miserable vacation for you and your little ones.
Good luck whatever you decide

 

[MyMagicKingdom]

Ugh, that's terrible! DH really needs to stick up for you guys! It would be one thing if they said they wanted to come because they wanted to see their grandkids at Disney but that certainly doesn't seem like the case. It seems as though they're completely dismantling whatever plans you'd already had. Its not fair to you or your kids, or your own mom and sister. Who wants to spend money to go sit in a house? I really hope things turn out for the better because its not like you were just making a short drive for a quick little getaway!

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

To the OP:

You're my hero and a much better woman than I am

I would be having an absolute FIT! I know that family dynamics can make situations seem impossible.

I guess maybe I would mention to my husband that an alternate trip is in order. "If your parents would really like to go on vacation with us, let's do a trip they might actually enjoy. We can spend "quality" time much closer to home without spending a ton of money. Besides, it will break my heart to get so close to Disney and NOT BE ABLE TO REALLY ENJOY IT." (above comment should be made in a slighty dramatic voice)


okay, snarky-ness aside, I'm truly sorry for the situation you're in. I wouldn't want to sacrifice my vacation either.

 

[cogero]

I would not go on a trip like that sorry. I am so so sorry you are having to deal with this. Your DH needs to tell his parents no they cannot come on this trip or if they do they will be in the rental alone since you will be at the parks.

Also why are they not paying towards the rental, if they are using it.

 

[zus888]

Just reading about your situation just sends my blood pressure through the roof. I commend you for not giving DH ultimatums because that is certainly what I would have done. I, too, would have pitched a fit and basically said, "Them or Me." But that's how I roll, and I have to admit it's not the most productive or respectful way to handle the situation.

I think it is incredibly rude for them to invite themselves and assume that you will foot their bill and sit around the house with them. I wouldn't care an iota what the ILs think of MY vacation plans. And I have to say I'm surprised that your DH doesn't get it and isn't saying something to them.

Personally, if DH was adamant about not saying anything to them, I think I would make it clear that our vacation will go on as planned. If they want to sit around the house by themselves and make their own meals, then they can have at it, but I wouldn't change my plans at all.

I've been known to be a bit rigid and hardheaded though. So take it as you will. Good luck, hon. I would be livid. But I do think that a serious conversation is in order with your DH.

 

[hereyago]

I wouldn't give him an ultimatum, but my happy hind parts wouldnt be sitting in a house all week that my kids could have been at Disney. He can stay with them, my kid would always come before any of that.

 

[hereyago]

MIL and FIL aren't paying for anything

With my inlaws, I have no say whatsoever in what we do. My MIL doesn't even listen to me and acts like I'm not even there when I do talk.

Yes, I would be taking my kids and let them have a good time. I am a whole lot of woman and there is no way any of the quoted above would be permitted. I for dang sure wouldn't be spending my vacation with my kids sitting in a house with people like that.