*UPDATED 9/13/09*How can get my ~3 year-old to stop putting her fingers in her mouth?

[LoveBWVVBR]

**Update 9/13/09 - I posted this thread last year looking for help with my DD (then 3) putting her hands in her mouth. I received a range of responses, but overall people seemed to think that it would stop on it's own. I'm updating this post because that advice was dead wrong. My daughter ended up with a severe infection in her hands from chewing on her fingers. She was on 2 antibiotics to clear the infection up. We found out that she has an oral-motor sensory issue that was causing the finger chewing. She's now in physical therapy and is going to start occupational therapy within the month. She has been evaluated by the school system and also by a private PT. I wanted other parents to know that this behavior in a 3 year-old is NOT NORMAL no matter what other people may tell you. The infection (while very frightening, because the ped. thought that it might be MRSA) was a blessing in disguise, because it finally got everyone to pay attention to what was going on. The school system initially refused us OT services, but had to reconsider once DD got the infection. IF you see this post and recognize that your child is doing something similar, please have him or her evaluated by EI or the school system or by a private OT if you can get in with one.**

She's been done teething for a year, so this isn't due to teething. She is constantly sticking her hands in her mouth. I'm a germ freak so I wash her hands many, many times a day and we use plenty of Purell also. All of this didn't stop her from having a cold every 3 weeks all summer, though. She has been getting a cold every couple of months since then also. She is also fond of nose picking so that's another battle that I need to know how to fight. She can't seem to comprehend that she WILL get sick if sticks her hands in her mouth all the time even though we tell her that many, many times a day. I tell her constantly to stop but she doesn't. Her poor preschool teacher is fighting the same battle with her all the time, washes her hands and Purells her all morning, etc. too so it's not just me. Any ideas?

FWIW, I think that she is chewing on her nails also. She's turning 3 next week and is just too old to be chewing on her fingers IMHO! I've about had it with all the germs going around at this time of year, KWIM?

 

[IllumFan]

I've had the same situation with my three year old son putting his fingers in his mouth all the time. He's about 3 and 2 months and just stopped (other than thumb sucking when upset or sleeping) on his own. We kept telling him that's how he would get sick. When he or anyone else was sick, we reminded him that it was from putting fingers in his mouth and that it was no fun to be sick.

Unfortunately, I don't have any great advice. However, when I spoke to my pediatrician about it at the last visit, she said I could use over the counter "medicine" that is designed to stop thumb sucking. Apparently it tastes pretty bad when applied to the thumb and will discourage kids from putting fingers in their mouth. I've never tried it since he pretty much stopped on his own.

 

[koolaidmoms]

When we saw a behavior psychologist for DD - she has pica, (she eats many inappropriate items if we were not watching) they told us to try and get her to trade one behavior for one more appropriate.

Can you give her a chew toy (like for a baby) so that she is chewing that first? Then when she is using that regularly not her hands slowly start to withdraw it. Not, too much too fast but slowly. You can't get rid of her hands but you can slowly get rid of the chew toy. Just a thought.

 

[Momma2dakidz]

koolaid mom is correct......they make necklaces that she can use instead. She IS getting something out of the behavior for her to continue to do it, you needto figure out what she is getting out of it and substituting something else. chewy candy, gum ect. Once you establish cause and effect and taught her an appropriate redirection you can then start a reward system to decrease teh unwanted behavior. Every 5 minutes with no fingers in mouth equals an m&m. If she has finger in mouth then you take away the m&m from the reward box and put it back in the bag.

(we have a small reward box in plain view at all times, it has ONE reward in it, once that reward is given or the time is up we refill and start again. 5 minutes is max at this age, Good luck!)

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

When we saw a behavior psychologist for DD - she has pica, (she eats many inappropriate items if we were not watching) they told us to try and get her to trade one behavior for one more appropriate.

Can you give her a chew toy (like for a baby) so that she is chewing that first? Then when she is using that regularly not her hands slowly start to withdraw it. Not, too much too fast but slowly. You can't get rid of her hands but you can slowly get rid of the chew toy. Just a thought.

That's an interesting idea. We have an almost 4 month-old baby, so I wonder if DD3 would get the point that putting things in her mouth is a BABY behavior if both she and the baby were given chew toys on the same day??? It's worth a shot! I am so tired of freaking out because she plays on the playground, has FILTHY hands, and then sticks them in her mouth

 

[barnaby1]

What about trying the nail varnish that you can get to stop children biting their nails. It also tastes digusting. May do the trick!

 

[dementia412]

First I suggest you stop putting that gunk on her hands all the time. It won't help, she isn't sick because she gets germs from mouthing, she gets sick because she's a little kid and even more so because shes in preschool so she can swap bugs with classmates all year long. It will probably level off after KG.
Second I don't want to freak you out but really get her to her Ped and maybe ask about going to a behavioral therapist. I didn't when my dd-now9 started that (and twisting her hair) and I regret it to this day because she still does it and only long term therapy or drugs are likely to get her to stop now.(neither of which I want to do)
Btw, many suggest giving kids something else to mouth or play with which can later be taken away. It works for many, but never did for us. Neither did that nasty nail stuff or band-aids on her fingers but its always worth a shot because all kids are different.

 

[sskem96]

I would caution you about using alcohol hand gel on a child who puts her hands in her mouth. Several months ago, a 3 year old at a local day care center suddenly became unresponsive. They called an ambulance, and the ER doc couldn't figure out what was wrong. They flew her to the Children's hospital where one of the tests they did was a blood alcohol level, and it was .244! If it was that high after the couple hours it took for them to get around to doing that test, I can't imagine how high it was initially. The daycare apparently gave her too big of a squirt of hand sanitizer, which she proceeded to lick off of her hands. I have no idea what brand they used or what type or amount of alcohol was in it, but I'd suggest sticking with soap and water or a baby wipe.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I would caution you about using alcohol hand gel on a child who puts her hands in her mouth. Several months ago, a 3 year old at a local day care center suddenly became unresponsive. They called an ambulance, and the ER doc couldn't figure out what was wrong. They flew her to the Children's hospital where one of the tests they did was a blood alcohol level, and it was .244! If it was that high after the couple hours it took for them to get around to doing that test, I can't imagine how high it was initially. The daycare apparently gave her too big of a squirt of hand sanitizer, which she proceeded to lick off of her hands. I have no idea what brand they used or what type or amount of alcohol was in it, but I'd suggest sticking with soap and water or a baby wipe.

Wow! I always make sure that the gel on DD's hands has dried before I let her out of my sight and her teacher does the same. They even teach them how to shake them dry at school. I could totally see a child ingesting it if they weren't being properly supervised, though

DD's ped. is the one who recommended using the Purell so frequently. In addition we wash her hands many times a day. The combination of these 2 things did break the cycle of the every 3 weeks cold, but she still gets a cold probably every 2 months or so. I am just so tired of her sticking her hands in her mouth constantly!

 

[Miss LD]

I'm not sure if this will help. But ...
My ds around the same age would constantly lick his lips. It drove us insane because his mouth was sore and chapped all the time. Even though we explained it to him, he was too young to really understand.
He didn't realize he was doing it.
Long story short, we gave him specific "lip licking" times. I relaize it sounds ridiculous, but we'd stay stuff like "you have to wait till your special time".
He thought it was great because we'd been saying no soooo many times.
It helped a lot, and he really did pretty much eliminate most of the behaviour.

 

[nessz79]

Our DS5 has always had a thing with putting his fingers in his mouth. It takes CONSTANT reminders to get him not to put his fingers in his mouth...but it only works when we're around him. He is quite the nail biter and I never actually see him bite his nails. I suspect he is doing so in bed or at school.

He actually chose to quit once for a few months. But when he started Kindergarten it started right back up again. I guess it must be stress-related. He loves K but it's something new and stimulating.

I haven't tried any of the tricks listed, but may. Good thread!

 

[TheHyacinthGirl]

You could try to use harder discipline. Gentle reminders can only go so far.

 

[disneynuts777]

I remember my Mom trying to get me to stop biting my nails. The more she nagged the more I bit. My fingers literally would bleed. I had to be 5 or 6.
One day she looked at me and handed me the box of bandaids and alcohol wipes and told me that she could no longer take care of my awful fingers that I would have to do it myself!!! I stopped right then and there. I must of been craving the attention that it drew to me and when that was taken away I did not want to do ot anymore.

 

[dementia412]

Please don't take the advise to discipline your child for a habit.

 

[TheHyacinthGirl]

Please don't take the advise to discipline your child for a habit.

"Spare the rod, spoil the child" as you xians like to tell me so much.

 

[BarbWB]

As a 40-yr old nail-biter (and very thankful for acrylic nails b/c no one has to know), I can tell you the absolute WORST thing you can do is bug her about it. It reinforces the habit.
Leave it alone, walk away. She will only resent you for it -- trust me.
As a pp said, she isn't sick b/c she puts her fingers in her mouth. She's 3. 3 yo's get sick all the time, esp if they are in preschool or daycare.

 

[dbarker]

If she is sucking on her fingers, talk to your dentist. Dentists can install an appliance in the mouth. I think it is called a "habit breaker".

I'm not really sure about the specifics...my DSs never had the problem. My DSis works for a dentist and has mentioned them to me.

 

[Schmeck]

I wouldn't worry about the nail biting, hand sucking or nose picking. My 17 year old still bites her nails, used to bite her toe nails, chewed a strap off her backpack in kindergarten, ate part of the collar off her winter coat in 1st grade, was a nose picker (and ate it too!, gross!) and she just got accepted at MIT!

By the time she's in elementary school, there will be some peer pressure to not do all of the oral things she's doing now. As long as her teeth are coming in fine, are brushed regularly, and she has a healthy diet, she should be OK. Your daughter could still be getting more teeth too. It seemed my kids were cutting teeth all the time, and then the first baby tooth fell out, and then they were wiggling teeth forever.

There's a great line of accessories called Chewelry that could be helpful.

 

[nessz79]

You could try to use harder discipline. Gentle reminders can only go so far.

Uh, right.

Please don't take the advise to discipline your child for a habit

Don't worry- I only plan on taking good advice .

"Spare the rod, spoil the child" as you xians like to tell me so much.

What the?

 

[lindsmom]

I run into this frequently at work (childcare provider) and part of it is realizing that the child does NEED to do this behavior; you may or may not find out its cause. Sometimes it's boredom, sometimes it's anxiety; it will develop into a habit, however.

One thing I do often with the children is just to point out (which is what I'm hearing from you, OP) how unsanitary it is, that they can get germs from putting their hands in their mouths (and btw to a PP, that IS how children get sick more often than other ways - they pick up germs on their hands then put the hands in their mouths, or wipe their noses, or rub their eyes. airborne is less common). If I see a child frequently putting his hands in his mouth, we take lots of handwashing breaks. I will tell him "Oh, Mike, I see you've got your hands in your mouth - let's go wash them." If I'm in the middle of something (which I often am), I'll ask him to sit (or stand) a moment and wait for me to help him. When he complains or gets annoyed that he has to wash his hands, I make the connection for him: "well, you will need to stop putting your fingers in your mouth, then you'll have more play time."

As he gets used to the hands in mouth = handwashing break concept, I start pointing out all the playtime he's missing out on by having to take these wash breaks. Often it sinks in over time.

For thumb suckers or children getting oral satisfaction from their fingers, I put a bandaid on the most important finger for the day. It ruins the satisfaction of the sucking experience and stops the behavior fairly quickly. Gotta be careful of the age of the child though! Make sure they're old enough that they won't swallow the bandaid!