UPDATE Post 91! Does anyone else hate hosting overnight guests? Am I weird?

[aprilgail]

I HATE having overnight guests but i REALLY hate staying in someone elses house. I would rather stay in a hotel- its much more comfortable for me. Thinking back to when i was a kid i can see my mom was a good sport about things- at one time around 15 i had a boyfriend that had no place to live so she let him stay here then we also got his younger brother staying here the next year! A couple years later i had another friend woth no place to live so he stayed here for a bit too. Good thing we had a finished basement because that turned into the "crash pad"

 

[jdb in AZ]

I value my privacy and I have friends who have a similar opinion. When I travel.... I budget a motel, especially if I can afford a hotel. I don't want to set a precedent where my home is open to others. Expedia is my friend.

2 hours away??? I spend more time packing and trying to adjust to everyone's schedule in the single working bathroom. There is no time saved for me by moving into someone else's home.

Tell them you have a bed bug problem. I have a rat issue I've been dealing with for nearly a year.

Sounds like OP has a rat issue as well -- the cousin she's related to.

Agree that packing and disrupting a household is more of a hassle than driving 2 hrs to go home.

 

[dollarmite]

I don't mind overnight visitors, and I don't mind staying with other people (provided they have a clean place for me to sleep).

But if someone TOLD me they were coming to stay at my place? No way! You (general) don't get to tell me what's going to happen in my own home. ASK (nicely) by all means, but don't dare TELL. That would get you a definite 'no'.

 

[klmall]

I was never comfortable hosting guests in our last home but we did have several close friends and relatives stay over. DH is an excellent host and cook and loves to have overnight guests so he makes it easier for me to be a hostess. And now that we have moved thousands of miles from everyone we truly want people to come and visit for a few days. Our new home has tons of guest space including two bedrooms with their own bath so there is room for visitors. Plus our new town is easy to navigate and has lots for visitors to go and do on their own.

And on the other side of the coin, we used to be very uncomfortable staying with some close friends over Christmas but it's getting easier plus after many years we have realized that they truly enjoy having us there and want us to stay with them. They are excellent hosts as well!

 

[Callie]

My cousins thankfully always allowed my mom, sister and I to stay with them when we'd come to visit. We were very thankful for that!
Right now, I have a 1 bedroom apartment. Having a guest stay the night is almost impossible. I do have an airbed for when my mom comes to visit (that is a different story). Now if one of my best friends wants to fly in, I'd make it work. It's stressful for sure, so I don't blame you!

 

[pearlieq]

I love having overnight guests in theory, and sometimes even in practice, but it's exhausting. 2-3 days is my limit and it's by invitation only. I can't believe the gall of OP's cousin!

I despise staying in someone else's house. It's rarely comfortable and there's no real privacy or downtime. DH's family was mystified, and then miffed, when they found we'd booked a hotel for visiting them, but I'm glad I stood my ground or the last 15 years would have been awful. I'm pretty sure they wrote it off to me being a snobby city-slicker, but I'll take my lumps if it means I get my own space at the end of the day!

 

[xlxo]

a long weekend basketball tournament in December in my home town. They live 2 hours away and she "will be crashing at our house, as hotel rooms are not covered for parents".

to clarify....

• where is this tournament? How much are the hotel rooms? If it's Vegas.... you could just pay them to stay at a motel.
• will there be a cheerleader entourage?

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Honestly, it really depends on who the overnight guest is. There are some people I really wasn't too thrilled about having to deal with.

When I lived in a house and had the room for it, no problem.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I despise hosting people overnight in my home. I don't have a specific reason, I just don't enjoy it. I don't like being an overnight guest either. We get hotel rooms wherever we visit.

I love spending time with out of town friends, but when it is bedtime I will bid you farewell. I don't want to wake up with you in my house.

Well, I just received an email from a cousin. Her son is in a long weekend basketball tournament in December in my home town. They live 2 hours away and she "will be crashing at our house, as hotel rooms are not covered for parents". I was floored. First of all, who tells someone they are staying at your house for three nights? She didn't even ask. She told. Secondly, we have a wedding on that Saturday that she plans on "crashing" at my home.

I politely wrote her back and said that we were unable to host her and her husband, as we would be gone to a wedding that Saturday.

She wrote back and said that us being gone was "Not a problem. Just leave us a key".

Now I am annoyed.

I wrote her back and said "We aren't comfortable doing that." And I gave her a list of hotels nearby.

She wrote back that I should be ashamed of myself for not wanting to help them save money on a hotel when I am right in the same town with empty bedrooms. And that I have "control issues" if I can't even handle having a guests for the weekend".

So, I am done with her. I have no use for someone like that. I don't feel badly. It is not my job to help her save money. Don't sign your child up for a travel league if you can't afford to travel.

But it got me thinking, am I wrong for not opening my home up to overnight guests? Do you have an open door policy for out of town guests?

Does anyone else hate having guests stay overnight(s)? And why do you hate it? Am I a freak?

I do not mind guests or staying somewhere but I would tell your cousin to go pound sand among other things.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

The only thing I hate about having overnight guests is that I have to clean the house. (And I do hate that!) Once I get the house clean and the food organized, I almost always am really happy that people I love are staying over. But I'm more of an extrovert, and can totally understand why other people would not welcome guests. I would not love any person, however, who announced that s/he was coming, much less expected me to pick her up at the airport without my volunteering to do it. I'm not a taxi and I'm not running a free hotel and restaurant. Your cousin is a jerk.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Thank you EVERYONE! I read every reply and am happy that I am not the only one that does not enjoy overnight guests. I feel like less of a freak

And I certainly do NOT like guests that invite themselves and then tell me just to "leave a key" when I am not going to be there. I am not a flop house.

Update on my cousin: She has blocked me on Facebook. That's right. I guess like a previous poster said, she had it in her mind that she was going to stay at our house and I "messed up her plans". And now I am blocked. Oh well.

The older I get, the happier I am that these people show their true colors. I have no use for someone like this in my life. I am so relieved that I did not put myself out for a person like this.

 

[Pink Partridge]

to clarify....

• where is this tournament? How much are the hotel rooms? If it's Vegas.... you could just pay them to stay at a motel.
• will there be a cheerleader entourage?

Lol on the cheerleaders!

As for paying for their hotel room, never in a million years. When you sign your children up for "Travel Whatever Sport" you should be responsible for paying for all aspects of that sport. I would never pick up someone else's tab for their chosen luxuries. That money would go towards my own family's fun.

 

[adisneyaunt]

Controlling... well that's an Understatement on Her part, certainly not yours OP.

I don't particularly "Love" having overnite guests (the cleaning, meal planning, activity planning) but I do love seeing people that I invite and they seem to enjoy themselves as they come back, lol

I'd say you have one less crazy person to deal with .. good riddance!

( and I don't See post numbers??)

 

[perditax]

Thank you EVERYONE! I read every reply and am happy that I am not the only one that does not enjoy overnight guests. I feel like less of a freak

And I certainly do NOT like guests that invite themselves and then tell me just to "leave a key" when I am not going to be there. I am not a flop house.

Update on my cousin: She has blocked me on Facebook. That's right. I guess like a previous poster said, she had it in her mind that she was going to stay at our house and I "messed up her plans". And now I am blocked. Oh well.

The older I get, the happier I am that these people show their true colors. I have no use for someone like this in my life. I am so relieved that I did not put myself out for a person like this.

You did yourself a favor by establishing boundaries sooner rather than later.

Some people will take anything they can get from other people. Giving in to them isn't being nice/charitable/a peacemaker, it's just shooting yourself in the foot.

I know some people would disagree, but I prefer quality over quantity in my friends and family.

 

[BLAZEY]

I like having houseguest if it's convenient for me and they have/will reciprocate the offer. If I'm not home no way, unless its close family. Demanding that they are stay would put me off. My sister asking if they could stay a couple of days if we were gone fine, but I know she'd leave the place in equal or better condition, and there aren't any trust issues with her. We are each other's guardian for our kids if anything happens to us. She would also understand if it wouldn't work either.

 

[anniemae]

I still don't understand how her son's tournament became your problem. She must have known this tournament was a possibility when her son signed up for basketball and should have planned and budgeted for it, not throw it at your feet to host her.

 

[xlxo]

The only thing I hate about having overnight guests is that I have to clean the house. (And I do hate that!).

Lol on the cheerleaders!

As for paying for their hotel room, never in a million years.

When cleaning up after those guests.... that's not cooties you may be cleaning up!

Depends on the frequency of my visitors. If it's someone who visits once every 10 years with thousands spent on airfare, I have no problem footing the bill for a week in an affordable 2 or 3 star hotel. Clean up is easier as they have a private room.

• I pick them up in a rental minivan (or SUV if it's a large group) to be chauffeured during their stay each day for sightseeing and meals.
• We explore the cities, nearby towns, attractions and different cuisines. I'm a lousy cook.
• We make a one time short pitstop at my home during the visit (highlighting the mouse traps).

Yah if they want 5 star glory.... they can pay for the difference for an upgrade. Yep some do.

Love to eat, love to entertain.... hate the cleanup. My fav recent cleaning purchase is not a vacuum.... it's a leaf blower! I got a second one when the first one was potent enough. Cleaning the outside with my driveway and sidewalks is so easy now (especially rat droppings).

 

[ols386]

Thank you EVERYONE! I read every reply and am happy that I am not the only one that does not enjoy overnight guests. I feel like less of a freak

And I certainly do NOT like guests that invite themselves and then tell me just to "leave a key" when I am not going to be there. I am not a flop house.

Update on my cousin: She has blocked me on Facebook. That's right. I guess like a previous poster said, she had it in her mind that she was going to stay at our house and I "messed up her plans". And now I am blocked. Oh well.

The older I get, the happier I am that these people show their true colors. I have no use for someone like this in my life. I am so relieved that I did not put myself out for a person like this.

Good riddance.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Thank you EVERYONE! I read every reply and am happy that I am not the only one that does not enjoy overnight guests. I feel like less of a freak

Update on my cousin: She has blocked me on Facebook. That's right. I guess like a previous poster said, she had it in her mind that she was going to stay at our house and I "messed up her plans". And now I am blocked. Oh well.

OP, I hope you don't feel guilty about messing up your cousin's plans. How can you tell she blocked you? Perspiring minds wanna know. I've blocked a few annoying people, and I'm curious about how they would know.

 

[MataHari22]

OP, I hope you don't feel guilty about messing up your cousin's plans. How can you tell she blocked you? Perspiring minds wanna know. I've blocked a few annoying people, and I'm curious about how they would know.

You cannot see their comments, or click on their profile. Also, if you try and search for them, it will not come up for you.