UPDATE pg 3 - Need advice-another cheerleader vent

[Cindyluwho]

So here's the long, long story. Cheerleader Coach is 6 year volunteer with the school. Not a bad coach, but not the best ever. But she does have a habit of saying innapropriate things to both the cheerleaders and the parents. For example on several occasions she has told us that the "teachers hate the cheerleaders". This was upsetting enough to my daughter that we approached several teachers to find out what the problem was and were assured that the comment was ridiculous. The second thing she said was after their competition, she insisted that the team lost because of one particular girl. She approached our family at a table in a crowded dining room of the hotel, many families were within earshot and she basically told us that the girls lost because of *kate* (name withheld to protect the innocent )
She insisted that she was not going to coach again and the principal and athletic director have found a new coach. Well wouldn't it figure that the old coach wanted to stay on to help the new one, temporarily, and NOW she wants to stay on full time!
Well, I decided enough is enough and I wrote an email to all of the cheer moms, the coaches and the principal. I told them that I was concerned about what Coach S had said about the teachers hating the girls and maybe we should get to the bottom of it. Perhaps we could have the girls do some community service for the teachers, etc. I was trying to get the info out there, start a discussion and get this crap to stop. Sure enough the fireworks started. She emailed me back, cc'ing to the principal and AD, that she had NEVER said such a thing. Then she called me into a meeting with the principal and wouldn't allow any other parents there to back me up. She proceeded to tell the principal, while looking him in the eye, that she had never said such a thing, I was making it up to get rid of her. I was freaked!! I left the meeting very shook up and as luck would have it I ran into another cheer mom as I was leaving. She immediately went into the principal's office and set the record straight, as she'd heard the remarks the coach had said.
NOW I WANT HER FIRED!! She wouldn't own up to and apologize for her innapropriate comments and basically called me a liar!
Give me your honest opinion, does she deserve to be fired or am I just too angry? I'm writing a letter to the board and principal but will wait to send it until I cool down.
Set me straight Dis'rs!

 

[Alesia]

She deserves to be fired. No question.

 

[Hedy]

No overreaction at all-seems perfectly rational on your end.

 

[MushyMushy]

Sorry, but I don't think it's really your place to jump in like that and try to get this woman fired. Seems too much like a vendetta on your part. If I were you, I'd present the facts to the administrators and let them sort it out, which it seems you already did. What would the letter resolve at this point when you've already had your say? You might not get the results you want, but that's just the way it happens sometimes in life.

I'm not saying I don't think she should be fired, just that you should step back and let the events unfold how they will. She sounds like a piece of work.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, she deserves to be fired.

If I were the Principal I would also be livid that she had not only acted inappropriately, but had now been caught giving me a bold-faced lie.

However, who knows what the 'regulations' are and who would have to issue the termination and what hoops and red tape would have to be gone thru.

Unfortunately, all too often, inappropriate staff are simply accepted and tolerated because nobody has the back-bone or the perserverance needed to get a termination.

 

[Wishing on a star]

If I were you, I'd present the facts to the administrators and let them sort it out, which it seems you already did.

No, she has not done that at all....

She has placed nothing in writing.

She has not presented all the information regarding what happened in the principal's office to anyone else.

By writing a nice, informative, and calm letter, she would be doing exactly what you have advised. This would, indeed, be presenting the facts to the necessary people, in writing.

Also, I am betting that the principal does not have the power to hire and fire. In which case, additional administration would need to be presented the information.


If she thought the principal would take this problem seriously, then she would feel no need to go further. But, my guess is that she does not feel that the principal will address this at all.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Also, I am betting that the principal does not have the power to hire and fire. In which case, additional administration would need to be presented the information.

If she thought the principal would take this problem seriously, then she would feel no need to go further. But, my guess is that she does not feel that the principal will address this at all.

Actually, since this is a non-paid volunteer position and the coach no longer has a child at the school, I really don't know if the principal can make the decision himself or not? I do believe that he's taking this very seriously, as he was getting copies of the emails she sent to me. And he seemed more than miffed when the other parents backed my story.

 

[MushyMushy]

No, she has not done that at all....

She has placed nothing in writing.

She has not presented all the information regarding what happened in the principal's office to anyone else.

By writing a nice, informative, and calm letter, she would be doing exactly what you have advised. This would, indeed, be presenting the facts to the necessary people, in writing.

Also, I am betting that the principal does not have the power to hire and fire. In which case, additional administration would need to be presented the information.


If she thought the principal would take this problem seriously, then she would feel no need to go further. But, my guess is that she does not feel that the principal will address this at all.

But she already did send out an e-mail to everyone involved (including administrators). I don't see any harm in a brief follow-up letter of what happened in the office, but it seems from the OP's post that she wants to go even farther and make this her personal mission to get the woman fired.

IMO, if the woman is truly as bad as she sounds, it'll happen. The OP needs to step back and not make herself look like she's on a crusade.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Actually, since this is a non-paid volunteer position and the coach no longer has a child at the school, I really don't know if the principal can make the decision himself or not? I do believe that he's taking this very seriously, as he was getting copies of the emails she sent to me. And he seemed more than miffed when the other parents backed my story.

Thanks for the additional info!!!

If you think that the principal might take this seriously, I would back off for a few days and see what happens.

Give him a chance to look into the situation.

Go ahead and write your letter, while all the details and documentation are fresh in your mind. But, then it might be a good idea to sit on it for a little bit.

So, I do agree with you Mushy when you said...

IMO, if the woman is truly as bad as she sounds, it'll happen. The OP needs to step back and not make herself look like she's on a crusade.

 

[Cindyluwho]

it seems from the OP's post that she wants to go even farther and make this her personal mission to get the woman fired.

IMO, if the woman is truly as bad as she sounds, it'll happen. The OP needs to step back and not make herself look like she's on a crusade.

Thanks Mushy, I really do feel like it's a personal vendetta now. I really want her out! But I think you're right, I should sit back and see how everything falls into place (or doesn't). If it seems like it's stalled, then I'll revisit. Now, that's what I should do, but can I control myself??

 

[Wishing on a star]

Now, that's what I should do, but can I control myself??

'Breath.....'

Take deeeeeep breaths....



or, maybe.....

 

[poohandwendy]

I agree you should sit back and allow it to proceed as it will. You made your point and I doubt you will be the only parent coming forward, now that the ball is rolling.

Not an overreaction at all, but now it's time to let the issue get resolved by those in charge. If you keep pushing, it will seem like a personal vendetta. Good luck with it.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

You are NOT going to like my response OP.

While I agree that the VOLUNTEER coach probably made some inappropriate comments, YOU actually created a bigger problem with your mass e-mailing. Yes, you tried to disguise the actual intent with a bunch of other trivial stuff in the e-mail, but it looks like the coach saw right through what you were trying to do. At this point the damamge has been done (by both parties). I hope the final resolution benefits the cheerleaders.

 

[kirbsam]

i am the president of the school board in my city. here is what i would do. no doubt in my mind the principal has the authority to make the fire and hire decision. i would approach him as a bunch of concerned parents. there is not only power in numbers, but there is safety in numbers. i would have a list of concerns, but would not give the principal anything in writing yet. then see what he does about it. if he does nothing, i would follow up with a letter, not any email, that is signed by all of the parents. the principal will want this handled before it gets to the next level, which is the superintendent and then the board. good luck. it is a difficult thing, and nobdy really will come out of this clean. but sometimes you need to get a little dirty to make things better.

 

[happybirdsfan]

Life is way to short!

 

[CEDmom]

I think you need to put things into perspective - it's just cheerleading. I think to want someone fired for what you're saying she did/said is way off base. Although since it's a unpaid position I don't know why the coach would want to stay and deal with grief from parents.

 

[Hannathy]

For example on several occasions she has told us that the "teachers hate the cheerleaders". This was upsetting enough to my daughter that we approached several teachers to find out what the problem was and were assured that the comment was ridiculous.

NOW I WANT HER FIRED!!

Wow did you really think the teachers were going to look you in the eye and say yeah we hate the cheerleaders, my goodness. What did you expect them to say. They could be complaining about them right and left in the break room and of course they will deny it to the parents. Do you think the CM's want the customers to know what they really think of some of them. That wasn't a very smart way to get to the truth. It does seem to me that you are on a personal vendetta at this point. Why? Is she a bad coach-other than the comments. Is she bad to your DD? Are the comments really hurting your DD? I think you have done "your part" and should let the principal deal with it however they see fit.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

You are NOT going to like my response OP.

While I agree that the VOLUNTEER coach probably made some inappropriate comments, YOU actually created a bigger problem with your mass e-mailing. Yes, you tried to disguise the actual intent with a bunch of other trivial stuff in the e-mail, but it looks like the coach saw right through what you were trying to do. At this point the damamge has been done (by both parties). I hope the final resolution benefits the cheerleaders.

agreed

 

[Cindyluwho]

Wow did you really think the teachers were going to look you in the eye and say yeah we hate the cheerleaders, my goodness. What did you expect them to say. They could be complaining about them right and left in the break room and of course they will deny it to the parents. Do you think the CM's want the customers to know what they really think of some of them. That wasn't a very smart way to get to the truth. It does seem to me that you are on a personal vendetta at this point. Why? Is she a bad coach-other than the comments. Is she bad to your DD? Are the comments really hurting your DD? I think you have done "your part" and should let the principal deal with it however they see fit.

I believe I know several of the teachers well enough that they would be honest when asked how they feel about the cheerleaders. It's a small school and several of the teachers I would consider friends.

As for the coach, it's not the comments that have me in a tizzy, it's the way she handled it afterwards. ie: not admitting the truth and insinuating that I was lying. THAT is why I want her butt! deep breaths, deep breaths....

 

[lulugirl]

I think you need to put things into perspective - it's just cheerleading. I think to want someone fired for what you're saying she did/said is way off base. Although since it's a unpaid position I don't know why the coach would want to stay and deal with grief from parents.

I agree