Update on DH 9/08

[BernardandMissBianca]

So DH had yet another dr appt today for his back.
We are up to the 3rd MRI, blood work (a complete panel) nerve testing and thousands of dollars in co-pays and deductibles.

DH has 2 torn and bulging discs, neuropathy, spurs are forming in his spine, and he has severe numbness and tingling in his legs. Oh and the hypersensitivity in his feet. He can stand on the driveway with shoes on and tell you exactly how many grains of sand are under his feet.

The Dr gave him a script for prescription strength Alleve, and a med that is an anti seizure med but they use it for neuropathy. (don't know how crazy I am about that).

Now they want to see him in a month (the same day as CKC, of course). But we are tired of see you in 4 weeks, poke, prod, see you in 4 weeks. We need answers now. So we are going to try to see my MIL's neurosurgeon. Can't understand a word he says but he's a good surgeon.

I'm worried. He is the sole bread winner in the family. We have bills a mile and a half high. I couldn't make enough money to pay the mortgage let alone anything else. What do we do if he has to have surgery? He has to work, there is no way around it. I doubt short term disability would pay 100% of what he makes and we need every penny to stay ahead. I am finally making headway on the credit cards, I don't want to slide backwards.
And of course I feel guilty, he was just going to run 1 errand and go to the post office for me, but I needed to go to the grocery store so we decided to go together. If I had just let him do what he needed to do, the accident never would have happened. I know it's not my fault but it still eats at me.

So, that's the latest. I know it's not much.

 

[tinkryansmom]

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

thanks! I need loads of those right now.

I know I shouldn't complain, my husband is here and whole. A friend of mine just buried her BIL due to a car accident (not his fault). I know it could be a lot worse.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I didn't realize how much his temperament would change though. My fuse was literally chopped off after the accident, I snapped at everyone, yelled at the kids. Totally shut myself off from my IRL friends etc. And I'm not hurting physically. I can only begin to imagine how bad it would be if I were in constant pain too. I am getting better, especially when I walk. Now that the kids are back in school, I will get back to my 5 miles a day.
And with his job and the traveling he can't take heavy duty meds, he has to function.

did you know my chiropractor was the only professional that asked us about our moods? How we felt mentally, did our disposition change etc.
He noted it in our charts to pass on to our attorney.

sorry, I'm rambling.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

You ramble on as much as you need.
You call me if you need to talk out loud.

 

[Queenie]

I'm so sorry you're struggling hunny *hugs* it will all work out some way or another.

Send me an email if you wanna vent anytime.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I may take y'all up on those e-mails and phone calls.

I just got off the phone with Dyan, that's for the pep talk my friend!

Like I said things could be worse, and I have the best support group that anyone could ever ask for. You guys keep me sane!

I hope to talk to our Chiropractor again Monday and see if he can write a referral to this other neuro. And I hope we don't have to start over with tests and such.
The accident is 1 year old now and the statute of limitations is 2 years so we have to get moving. The good news is we have closed the cases on the kids and myself, although I am having more shoulder problems that weren't bothersome before. But the kids are done, we just wait to see what the lawyers say. And no, I'm not a sue happy person, but I am worried about DH's future employment and physical well being.

But on a happy note, I managed to get my DH into a pair of Crocs!!!! His feet were not happy with the shoes he brought to Disney so he is now the proud owner of a pair of beige Mickey Head Crocs! (and he's been wearing them ever since)

 

[rlovew]

Buffy- I am so sorry. I am hear to listen if you need- feel free to call me. I pray that you will begin to get the answers you need soon.

Rebecca

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Buffy- I am so sorry. I am hear to listen if you need- feel free to call me. I pray that you will begin to get the answers you need soon.

Rebecca

I have your numbers plugged into my cell.

How are things with you? did DH ever get that truck?

 

[calanniebu]

you know where to find me if you need to chat ... I'm only a short drive away!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

you know where to find me if you need to chat ... I'm only a short drive away!

I got you in my 5, hundred that is! It's so nice to have girlfriends, ya know. I didn't have many growing up.

 

[New England Eeyore]

I'm sorry you guys are going through this. Stop having those "what if" thoughts about the accident - as you said, it's not your fault. Things happen that are out of your control.

A few things to maybe ease your mind: Short term disability is better than you think. If he has a good policy, I would not worry. It is not 100% pay, but it is my understanding that it is not taxable, so that is a huge factor. (Check with someone smarter than me on that for sure, but a colleague of mine was out for quite a few months when she broke her back and that is what I was told.)

If the "seizure" med is Neurontin/Gabapentin and you're worried about it being a seizure med - don't be. It is actually very rarely used for seizures. It is much more commonly used for nerve pain, because it works very well for that. PM or call me if you have any questions/concerns about that.

And I can give you another about the "temperment" factor. I think I can sympathize. My DH has a congenital condition which basically puts him in pain 24/7. He had 2 spinal surgeries about 10 years ago, and the doctors basically said there was nothing more they could do - he'd just have to live with the pain. And he does. He tried different meds in the early years but nothing really helped so he just lives with it. He has always worked, even though he has a few physical issues as a result of the surgeries. And he deals with it amazingly well - probably better than I would - but of course there are times when it gets the better of him and the mood reflects that. And it's hard to be on the other side and not be able to do anything to help. So, to you.

Now, having said that, I hope they do find some way to give your DH some relief. But no matter what, you will both get through this.

 

[rlovew]

I have your numbers plugged into my cell.

How are things with you? did DH ever get that truck?

Things are fine- keeping an eye on Ike but we have a picnic tomorrow so we are heading down to Labelle and closing the shutters since we will only be 15 minutes away anyway. DH did get his truck and he loves it. I don't like it but we take my car anytime we are both going. He started classes yesterday and is enjoying them even if it makes for a long day. He leaves at 6am and gets home about 11pm.

Rebecca

 

[Kim1964]

I know we just met, but I'm here if you need me!

 

[ddavis860]

Sorry to hear that DH is still having such problems! If they know that the problem is, why do they have him keep waiting? That just seems like a painful waste of time to me. Here's hoping that the Chiropractor will give you the referal!

Hugs to you and your family! Having a health issue is so hard!

 

[DisneyIsTerrific]

 

[Lisa]

How I missed this yesterday, I don't know.

I'm right here if you need me, especially now, if you need help with the kids, just let me know.

Good that you found shoes that are comfortable for him. I just can't imagine the chronic pain he is in, and flying so much on top of that. OY. My mother's back surgeon is in Hartford, if you want his number.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

If the "seizure" med is Neurontin/Gabapentin and you're worried about it being a seizure med - don't be. It is actually very rarely used for seizures. It is much more commonly used for nerve pain, because it works very well for that. PM or call me if you have any questions/concerns about that.

And I can give you another about the "temperment" factor. I think I can sympathize. My DH has a congenital condition which basically puts him in pain 24/7. He had 2 spinal surgeries about 10 years ago, and the doctors basically said there was nothing more they could do - he'd just have to live with the pain. And he does. He tried different meds in the early years but nothing really helped so he just lives with it. He has always worked, even though he has a few physical issues as a result of the surgeries. And he deals with it amazingly well - probably better than I would - but of course there are times when it gets the better of him and the mood reflects that. And it's hard to be on the other side and not be able to do anything to help. So, to you.

Now, having said that, I hope they do find some way to give your DH some relief. But no matter what, you will both get through this.

I can't really read the script but it looks like it says Neurontin so I will pass that info on to DH. He didn't seem to thrilled about taking it. I hope it works. Thanks for letting me know.

Sorry your DH is in such pain, and he is so young too. I don't know how people cope hurting that bad for sustained periods.
If DH has surgery there are new techniques and "bionic" discs that can be used. MIL had a similar surgery about 6 years ago and they used cadaver bones, now they have ones that are similar to the hip replacement pieces that have full rotation, so he won't be fused, which is great!
The worst area is L3-L4, the report says T12-L1 is good, L2-L3 has mild disc narrowing L3-L4 has severe disc space narrowing, hypertrophy, and a node that had developed at the L4 endplate. L4-L5 and L5-S1 is good too.
I need to look some of these up. I want to bring the report to the chiro too so he can explain more. I'm a visual learner and he has spines that he uses to show us stuff.

Things are fine- keeping an eye on Ike but we have a picnic tomorrow so we are heading down to Labelle and closing the shutters since we will only be 15 minutes away anyway. DH did get his truck and he loves it. I don't like it but we take my car anytime we are both going. He started classes yesterday and is enjoying them even if it makes for a long day. He leaves at 6am and gets home about 11pm.

Rebecca

you be careful with Ike and keep me posted. Call me if you lose power so I know you guys are ok.
I'm glad Dh got the truck, he seemed happy about it when we were down there. Tell him good luck on the classes, that stinks that he has such long days though. Hopefully that won't last long.

I know we just met, but I'm here if you need me!

Oh pish posh, we've known each other forever, we just never knew what each of us looked like. Thanks for the hugs and I will keep you posted on DH.

Sorry to hear that DH is still having such problems! If they know that the problem is, why do they have him keep waiting? That just seems like a painful waste of time to me. Here's hoping that the Chiropractor will give you the referal!

Hugs to you and your family! Having a health issue is so hard!

That's what I'd like to know! I mean I'm happy that they aren't all gung-ho about surgery but why couldn't he have the meds after the last appt while waiting for the MRI and while waiting for this appt. Why let the man suffer for 4 more weeks?? I don't know, I don't understand doctors.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Thank you!

How I missed this yesterday, I don't know.

I'm right here if you need me, especially now, if you need help with the kids, just let me know.

Good that you found shoes that are comfortable for him. I just can't imagine the chronic pain he is in, and flying so much on top of that. OY. My mother's back surgeon is in Hartford, if you want his number.

The Crocs are aren't exactly comfy but better then the trail shoes he had on. We went to EMS this past weekend and he could feel the tread on the bottom of every shoe he tried on, even the stitches in the soles. It's actually quite fascinating. So we are on the look out for something like Vans, or indoor soccer shoes that have a smooth thread.

Email me his number and I'll ask the Chiro about him. Hartford is a bit of a haul but it might be work it to check him out. Your mom does really well now, no flexibility problems and such.

 

[party of 3]

oh buffy i'm so sorry to hear about all this. hopefully someone will do something to ease his pain. my dad has this same issue. he has 4 herniated (sp) disks and they can not operate,because he has congestive heart failure. his heart pumps at a very -and i mean very- low rate. of course keep in mind that he has LOTS of health issues. but his back pain is awful. they put a pump of pain meds right into his back a couple of months ago so he is now trying that. its just plain awful to be in so much pain all the time. especially with no relief. i will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers that it all works out somehow. will all the modern medicine and techniques someone should be able to do something for the man. you know that if you need ANYTHING, i'm not that far away. you have my #'s call me. really. i mean it!