Update on breaking irrevocable trust

[thumpersfriend]

Just wanted those of you who responded about my 75 year old mother being disinherited from her husband of 12 years in his irrevocable trust. He has been puttting about 1,200 a month in an account for himself while my mom is paying half of all the expenses and makes about 900 a month. Anyway, the last straw came when she looked in his checkbook and saw he wrote a 1,000 check to each of his 6 kids (all grown) and wrote her a check for 20 for her birthday. She told him she was so hurt about this and he said she had no business going in his checkbook and all the money he saved, about 150,000 since they were married was his and she had no right to it. Needless to say, she finally filed for a divorce 2 weeks ago and he has been served. She is living with me at the present time and she looks so much better already. She still thinks she won't be entitled to anything so I hope she hads a good surprise. I always thought when you got married that things should be theirs together. Too bad, he is 84 years old and will be a lonely old man. Thanks for listening and please wish her all the best.

 

[FTWFAN]

Prayers and pixie dust to your Mom!!!!!!!May things work out in her favor! Tell her to be strong and don't let him get away with this!!!!!!!!

 

[septbride2002]

What state do they live in? If it is a community property state then technically any money earned during the time of their marriage should be split 50/50. I'm glad your Mom has decided to cut her losses and move on.

~Amanda

 

[thumpersfriend]

She lives in Michigan. He has told her so many times that what he got in SS and his pension was his and her SS and pension was hers and every bill was 50/50. He earned about 2200 a month and she earned 900 month. She told me that when they went out to eat that she had to pay 50/50 and so she would just order soup and he ordered a full meal. She couldn't affort to pay half so she would eat something when she got home. These stories just hurt my heart. She never complained because she didn't want to be a burden to us. Thanks for the encouragement. It would kill him to have to give her $5.00 so I hope he has to shell out something.

 

[TigerBear]

What a man. It definitely sounds like she is better off without him.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I glad she left him. He really treated her awful.

 

[DarrenSt]

Sorry to hear about that but if there is no pre nup she should be getting a good chun of change from his account and half of all other assets and liabilities.

 

[cleo]

I take great pleaure in bursting his little bubble............she's in Michigan and therefore entilted to HALF, baby. He can fight it, but she's gonna get it.

 

[thumpersfriend]

It would be so good if she got half. I can't believe such an independent woman allowed this to happen. She said she stayed because she wouldn't be able to pay her health insurance. He has gifted his kids with alot of money so I hope he hasn't hidden it somewhere. The sad thing is that his kids don't want anything to do with him, they are already arguing about who will do this and that for him. Too bad they didn't treat her nicer too. She is now with people who love and respect her, thank God!

 

[Kitty 34]

Sending best wishes for your Mom. Hopefully life will get a lot better for her.

 

[chell]

Sorry your mom has had to deal with all that. But glad to hear she is with people who love her now. Tell her to go after him and take what she deserves!!!

 

[cleo]

Forgot to mention........not only half but Alimony as well. She's entitled. Hopefully she will have a lot of good people (and a great attorney) to support her. It's easy to give up and not take what you're entitled to when the process drags out, as it tends to do in many counties in Michigan.

She will be in my thoughts. LACASA or a similar organization for women might be a good place for support and some insight. They are a true godsend.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Sending good wishes for your mom!

 

[DarrenSt]

Just remember that with half of the good parts she will also get half of the bad parts (any debts they have).

 

[KristiKelly]

In NC, I believe you are entitled to 1/2 as well. Best of luck to your mom & keep us posted.

 

[thumpersfriend]

When she went to her attorney who is a man, you could tell he was thinking what a jerk my stepfather is. I convinced my mom not to just settle but to let the attorney fight for all she is due. Lucky she can live with us for free so she said this month she can't believe she will have a few bucks left over! She already feels she is worth something. But the attorney said he thought she had the marriage from Hell. He did say something about alimony and that would really tick him off to have to give her something. Thanks everyone for the good thoughts.

 

[sk8belle]

Good for your mom, thumpersfriend!! She is very lucky to have such a great support group in you and the rest of your family. Sounds like she's got an atty who will fight for her, too. I hope it all works out well in the end.

sk8belle

 

[eeyore45]

I'm so glad you posted the upate!! I do so remember your frustration, and I'm so glad that she is out of that!! You tell her to let the lawyer work on this, this is an investment of all she put into that 50/50 stuff!!

and at 84 he sounds really crafty so I hope the lawyer can get lots of money upfront, and get the alimony automatically deducted, hope your mom can stand the heat, it will be ugly, but help her stand tall and proud, she owes it to herself, just think of the image she is helping all repressed spouses!! Its a good thing to be!!

 

[thumpersfriend]

I think it could get ugly too, he still believes that since he has the irrevocable trust she can't touch it. I guess most that know him feel he already has another woman to move in with already, just pity the new woman. That was his style though,never buy a house, just move in with a widow and she would take care of him. Glad you noted my update. At least she doesn't have to take our bottles and cans to make her part of the 50/50 work!

 

[DarrenSt]

The only real problem I could see is if he was to transfer the money etc to the kids names then there is nothing that can really be done for that and if the assets were gifted to his kids she wouldn't be able tp touch that either good luck.