TeresaNJ
Magic Begins With Me
- Joined
- Sep 13, 1999
- Messages
- 5,784
Let me apologize up front, as this will be long.
A little background first off. My sons were friends for a very long time with Thomas, from the time they were 6 years old, they are now 25 & 26. Thomas was being raised by his grandparents; his mother was a drug addict and no one knew who his father was. As a child, Thomas was always getting into some kind of trouble, but more of the mischevious type of things. The kid never sat still, always hyper, and was a real handful for his grandparents. They lived across the street from us. Thomas always had to have the newest sneakers, video game, etc. first. If my sons mentioned they were getting "Air Jordans" on Friday, Thomas got them on Thursday.
Although he was quite a handful, I always felt sorry for him and tried to make him feel like our home was his second home. I never judged him, just tried to make sure he knew he was welcome. We would even take him on vacation with us. All throughout middle school and high school, he was getting in trouble for one thing or another, cutting classes, smoking in the bathroom, stuff like that. My boys and him drifted further and further apart, but still kept in some contact. At this point we had moved, but only a few minutes away. Months would go by and we wouldn't see Thomas, then he'd show up. In high school he got involved with the wrong crowd, drugs, etc.
A few years ago Thomas got the crap beat out of him at a party. He is lucky he didn't get killed. As it was he had broken front teeth, fractured orbits, broken nose. He showed up at my house as he was afraid to go to his grandparents who had pretty much cut him off at this point. He was truly unrecognizable with all his injuries. My oldest son, being the softie that he is, was beside himself that his boyhood friend was suffering. I took him to the ER, gave him some money to go to an oral surgeon, and made him call his grandparents.
About a year ago, my oldest son got a summons in the mail for a speeding and failure to produce a license, and not showing up in court. My son doesn't drive. He has a severe anxiety disorder that mostly manifests itself when driving. He hasn't driven in at least 4 years. We immediately knew it was Thomas, as he is the only one who would know my son's birthdate. Funny thing is that Thomas gave the police officer our old address which we haven't lived at for 8 years, but my ex still lives there. The other thing is that it was addressed with the WRONG address. Our township did a rezoning 12 years ago, and the addressed changed from 10 Lincoln Ct to 119 Lincoln Drive. The summons was addressed to 10 Lincoln Ct, but was still delivered. Again, Thomas would have remembered the original address.
Of course, my son was beside himself. On top of all his anxiety he absolutely did not need this. Plus he felt totally betrayed. My husband had to take him to court, the cop looked at him and said, nope, isn't him, and it was over. We were outraged that any Joe Schmoe could give someone's name without any proof and you could be dragged into court.
Well, guess what? It happened again. My son goes to his dad's yesterday with his girlfriend to watch the Oscar's, and there is another summons, again addressed to 10 Catherine Court. This time though it is for "prowling" in a VERY, VERY bad area of a VERY, VERY bad city about 30 minutes from where we live. Apparently it is in a drug-infested area. The summons is for not showing up in court, and if he doesn't show up again on March 27th, he can be arrested, driving privileges suspended, etc. My son called me at work extremely upset. He wants to sue Thomas, the arresting police officer, everyone. He even wants to change his name.
He was just starting to get a little better with his anxiety, even was thinking about renewing his driver's license, it expired two years ago. He hasn't been on a Disney vacation with us in four years due to his anxiety about being in unfamiliar places. Now this. He is beside himself. His concerns are how on earth can he protect himself. What if Thomas uses his name when he does something really bad? What if we were living in another state and had to traipse back here to go to court every time Thomas does this?
Okay, after all this information, what I really want to know is:
1. Can we sue someone? The police officer who does the arresting/ticketing without verifying who the person really is?
2. Should my son change his last name?
3. Anyone have any legal advice?
By the way, Thomas did admit to my son about doing it the first time. He said he would have had to go to jail if he had one more offense. He ended up spending some time in jail anyway, and threatened my son that he was going to send some of his "friends" after him.:
A little background first off. My sons were friends for a very long time with Thomas, from the time they were 6 years old, they are now 25 & 26. Thomas was being raised by his grandparents; his mother was a drug addict and no one knew who his father was. As a child, Thomas was always getting into some kind of trouble, but more of the mischevious type of things. The kid never sat still, always hyper, and was a real handful for his grandparents. They lived across the street from us. Thomas always had to have the newest sneakers, video game, etc. first. If my sons mentioned they were getting "Air Jordans" on Friday, Thomas got them on Thursday.
Although he was quite a handful, I always felt sorry for him and tried to make him feel like our home was his second home. I never judged him, just tried to make sure he knew he was welcome. We would even take him on vacation with us. All throughout middle school and high school, he was getting in trouble for one thing or another, cutting classes, smoking in the bathroom, stuff like that. My boys and him drifted further and further apart, but still kept in some contact. At this point we had moved, but only a few minutes away. Months would go by and we wouldn't see Thomas, then he'd show up. In high school he got involved with the wrong crowd, drugs, etc.
A few years ago Thomas got the crap beat out of him at a party. He is lucky he didn't get killed. As it was he had broken front teeth, fractured orbits, broken nose. He showed up at my house as he was afraid to go to his grandparents who had pretty much cut him off at this point. He was truly unrecognizable with all his injuries. My oldest son, being the softie that he is, was beside himself that his boyhood friend was suffering. I took him to the ER, gave him some money to go to an oral surgeon, and made him call his grandparents.
About a year ago, my oldest son got a summons in the mail for a speeding and failure to produce a license, and not showing up in court. My son doesn't drive. He has a severe anxiety disorder that mostly manifests itself when driving. He hasn't driven in at least 4 years. We immediately knew it was Thomas, as he is the only one who would know my son's birthdate. Funny thing is that Thomas gave the police officer our old address which we haven't lived at for 8 years, but my ex still lives there. The other thing is that it was addressed with the WRONG address. Our township did a rezoning 12 years ago, and the addressed changed from 10 Lincoln Ct to 119 Lincoln Drive. The summons was addressed to 10 Lincoln Ct, but was still delivered. Again, Thomas would have remembered the original address.
Of course, my son was beside himself. On top of all his anxiety he absolutely did not need this. Plus he felt totally betrayed. My husband had to take him to court, the cop looked at him and said, nope, isn't him, and it was over. We were outraged that any Joe Schmoe could give someone's name without any proof and you could be dragged into court.
Well, guess what? It happened again. My son goes to his dad's yesterday with his girlfriend to watch the Oscar's, and there is another summons, again addressed to 10 Catherine Court. This time though it is for "prowling" in a VERY, VERY bad area of a VERY, VERY bad city about 30 minutes from where we live. Apparently it is in a drug-infested area. The summons is for not showing up in court, and if he doesn't show up again on March 27th, he can be arrested, driving privileges suspended, etc. My son called me at work extremely upset. He wants to sue Thomas, the arresting police officer, everyone. He even wants to change his name.
He was just starting to get a little better with his anxiety, even was thinking about renewing his driver's license, it expired two years ago. He hasn't been on a Disney vacation with us in four years due to his anxiety about being in unfamiliar places. Now this. He is beside himself. His concerns are how on earth can he protect himself. What if Thomas uses his name when he does something really bad? What if we were living in another state and had to traipse back here to go to court every time Thomas does this?
Okay, after all this information, what I really want to know is:
1. Can we sue someone? The police officer who does the arresting/ticketing without verifying who the person really is?
2. Should my son change his last name?
3. Anyone have any legal advice?
By the way, Thomas did admit to my son about doing it the first time. He said he would have had to go to jail if he had one more offense. He ended up spending some time in jail anyway, and threatened my son that he was going to send some of his "friends" after him.: