Untitled Hyena Thread

[Alex2kMommy]

I know AZ passed a law a couple of years back mandating full day kindergarten, and last year was the first year of partial implementation (offering I think only one or two classes, and pulling only those kids who had signed up to "pay" for full day anyways)

Really??? I've never heard of a mandated full-day. I wonder what the reasoning is for that, especially if it's just the same material presented as a half-day class.

I can see if the wisdom these days says kids are behind the rest of the modern world in education, and this is one way to catch up, start pushing more material earlier. But if they're not doing that...

 

[eatmypixiedust]

Wow Pix, I sure dread the years coming up with my DD. Hopefully they can figure something out to straighten out the attitude. You have mentioned many times that she pretends to be asleep when it is time for swimming - is there something going on there I know at that age the last place I would want to be is anywhere in a bathing suit, did something happen there and that is why she doesn't want to go back I don't know, it just seems strange it always revolves around the swimming.

The problem is that she's lazy. She wants to talk on the phone and play online and what not and is just lazy. She's actually a very good swimmer. She's on the swim team and her coach says great and keeps trying to get her to participate in more swim meets. It's just ridiculous that she's being a butt about it.

 

[eatmypixiedust]

She also tries to get out of piano lessons and her art class too sometimes.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Dizzy, I think pix said before that her sis loves to swim (and is on a swim team maybe?) I think it's just a control issue.

If I were the parents, I'd ask her how important swimming was to her. If she wants to quit, quit and stop torturing the friend's mother. She can stay home and clean something in the household. If she truly wants to swim and is just being a brat, I'd lecture on the fact that this is her choice, her chosen activity which others are going out of their way to get her to/from. From now on she'd better be ready to go BEFORE they arrive, or they are to just leave without her. And if that happens one more time, she's done, no more.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I'll be curious to see if her attitude changes this week since she'll be without all her electronic vices.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Do you want to hear something totally nutty? Or at least it seems nutty to me, but true?

When DS7 first started playing videogames, my friend's DD (who is 6 mos. older than DS) had also been playing games on the family computer. The DD started throwing temper tantrums when they told her to turn it off, so first they told her she could no longer play; then they let her earn playing time (in 5 minute increments) for good behavior and doing chores. The most they'd let her play in one sitting was half an hour, I think.

So when DS started playing I thought nothing of it, until I noticed he was having fits when we told him to shut it off!

He was very angry, threw the controller, whined about how we NEVER let him do ANYTHING FUN...! WTH???

I told DH about my friend's DD, so we started limiting his playing time. We also told him that he could not play whenever he wanted, he needed to ask, and also that if he throws a fit when we tell him to turn it off, he will NOT PLAY AGAIN for a very long time.

That worked well for awhile. But now that he's older and we don't monitor him as well, he will ask for permission to play while I'm making dinner, for instance, and then I realize he's been playing for too long. I'll tell him to turn it off (as I'm going to do something else) and he'll say, "OK, I'm just going to finish this one thing..." and when I come back around he's onto another thing!

It's always, "Just a minute..." or "OK, I'm shutting it down now" and he doesn't. So gonna have to lower the boom on that too.

 

[eatmypixiedust]

I'll be curious to see if her attitude changes this week since she'll be without all her electronic vices.

My brother wanted to see her behave for 1 day and she blew it. She kept screaming and yelling loudly, slamming doors and telling my bro that she hates him, etc. She has the worst temper and her attitude is just awful these days. This is why I distance myself from her because when I'm around her she makes me upset.

My brother asked if I could talk to her after work today but she will not listen to me. She doesn't listen to anyone.

 

[dizzyami]

Dizzy, I think pix said before that her sis loves to swim (and is on a swim team maybe?) I think it's just a control issue.

If I were the parents, I'd ask her how important swimming was to her. If she wants to quit, quit and stop torturing the friend's mother. She can stay home and clean something in the household. If she truly wants to swim and is just being a brat, I'd lecture on the fact that this is her choice, her chosen activity which others are going out of their way to get her to/from. From now on she'd better be ready to go BEFORE they arrive, or they are to just leave without her. And if that happens one more time, she's done, no more.

I was just wondering. I know I loved dancing from the age of 5-11 (but I danced until I was 12). I absolutely loved it, but I became increasingly wary of wearing a leotard, trying to figure out what to do with these odd bumps on my chest (I had one of those here is a cabinet with feminine products - they come with instructions, figure it out kind of moms), and I began dreading every class. Since I had done it for so long, I was scared to admit my fears. It was so bad that I actually still have nightmares about it to this day.

I know I am just an oddball, but I figured I would throw it out there as a possible cause

I know the behavior is frustrating, but it also has to be hard on her being the youngest and her parents out of town all the time...it is a difficult age. Not that it EVER justifies back talking and being lazy, but maybe there is more to it then that.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

My brother asked if I could talk to her after work today but she will not listen to me. She doesn't listen to anyone.

Does she listen to either of your parents? When I was calm, I'd listen to my mother, and I ALWAYS did what my dad said, or he'd go ballistic!

Somebody needs to talk with her when she's calm (don't even bother trying when she's flipping out) and tell her this is not acceptable behavior for anyone over 3yos.

It's too bad your brother is having to deal with it, it's really your parents' issue. They need to be the ones setting the rules of behavior and enforcing them, because it's THEIR house and THEIR daughter. And if they can't do that, then maybe they would consider shipping her butt to Taiwan? She is way out of control!

 

[eatmypixiedust]

I heard she pushed my aunt into the glass sliding door and punched her because she didn't buy her something she had promised.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I was just wondering. I know I loved dancing from the age of 5-11 (but I danced until I was 12). I absolutely loved it, but I became increasingly wary of wearing a leotard, trying to figure out what to do with these odd bumps on my chest (I had one of those here is a cabinet with feminine products - they come with instructions, figure it out kind of moms), and I began dreading every class. Since I had done it for so long, I was scared to admit my fears. It was so bad that I actually still have nightmares about it to this day.

My mom did basically the same thing with that topic. I was in the bathroom and went, "Aaaahhhhh, Mooooooooooommmmmm!"

I had to call her several times before she came in, then she took one look and said something like, "Oh, for pete's sake, you know where the pads are and how to use them."

I was sooooo ticked! I was in pain, I wasn't sure if that's what it was, and she made me feel like an idiot. And to make matters worse, she announced The Big Event over the dinner table, so not only did my Dad know, but I had to endure a bunch of teasing from my older brothers.

Dizzy brings up a good point about your parents being gone so much, pix. Maybe this is her way of crying out for their attention. Everybody else seems to be taking her here or there, and maybe she just needs her parents to pay her some attention?

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I heard she pushed my aunt into the glass sliding door and punched her because she didn't buy her something she had promised.

OMG! Wow, they seriously need to do something, and NOW. That's way out of control.

 

[eatmypixiedust]

OMG! Wow, they seriously need to do something, and NOW. That's way out of control.

I agree and I told my brother she needs anger management. She wouldn't dare do that to anyone except my aunt and my aunt lets her and continues to stick up with her, which is the dumbest thing.

 

[eatmypixiedust]

It's not that my parents don't want to spend time with her and they do try, but the problem is that when everyone leaves the office, they are still here. It's especially hard with the time difference because all their offices and the people they deal with are overseas. So when it's 6pm here, it's 9am there and they are just starting work. They leave late, they have to travel overseas because there are a lot of issues going on and no one else who could go in their place.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Kids are definitely influenced by the people around them, and your aunt certainly sounds like a toxic individual. So does the one friend your sister's that your brother met. And with your parents away on trips so much, and working long days even when they are home, your sister doesn't really get a lot of positive influences in her life.

She sounds very angry, too. I'm not sure what exactly that's about, perhaps just the lack of attention from your parents, maybe she feels they care more about work than about her. I don't know, but she needs to find better ways to get her feelings out (anger management certainly teaches you to use your words and talk about your feelings and needs), and somebody needs to be listening to her. She sounds miserable, and I'm sure she's hard to be around.

 

[eatmypixiedust]

My little sister is a very smart girl. She's a straight A student, is an advanced program at school and is dedicated to her school work. She's a perfectionist when it comes to school work. I just wish she would apply that same discipline to her after school activities. She is the only child who lives with my parents. My older sister is in SD, my bro is at UC Davis, I'm here but I don't live with her and she is just crying for attention. My brother knows that, I know that and my parents know it too. They really need to just kick her poor attitude and temper in the butt. My bro wants to talk to them when they get back.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

It's not that my parents don't want to spend time with her and they do try, but the problem is that when everyone leaves the office, they are still here. It's especially hard with the time difference because all their offices and the people they deal with are overseas. So when it's 6pm here, it's 9am there and they are just starting work. They leave late, they have to travel overseas because there are a lot of issues going on and no one else who could go in their place.

I realize your parents are very hard working, and I do understand about overseas work, we used to work with a contracting company in India, same time issues.

But it sounds to me that their daughter is yet another issue that needs to be dealt with. They need to do something for her, because whatever is happening right now is NOT WORKING.

I wish I had a good solution, but I don't. I don't know your family or your sister, or exactly their situation, and I haven't ever been exactly in that situation.

I've heard of those boot camps for bratty kids, but I've also heard of problems with them, and questions about how long the improved behavior lasts once they return to the same poor environment. (Your talking about sending her to Taiwan made me think of that.)

But your parents need to do something with this girl, and I hope they realize how serious it is. Even though your sister sounds like a real brat, I feel bad for her; she cannot be happy right now to be behaving this way. Something is terribly wrong. And I doubt she can "pull her head out" on her own at this point.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

My little sister is a very smart girl. She's a straight A student, is an advanced program at school and is dedicated to her school work. She's a perfectionist when it comes to school work. I just wish she would apply that same discipline to her after school activities. She is the only child who lives with my parents. My older sister is in SD, my bro is at UC Davis, I'm here but I don't live with her and she is just crying for attention. My brother knows that, I know that and my parents know it too. They really need to just kick her poor attitude and temper in the butt. My bro wants to talk to them when they get back.

Good. It seems they're all on the same page as far as that she needs some attention, and hopefully they can come up with a plan to help her.

It sounds like your parents are stretched to the max right now, but wow, she needs help.

 

[eatmypixiedust]

Good. It seems they're all on the same page as far as that she needs some attention, and hopefully they can come up with a plan to help her.

It sounds like your parents are stretched to the max right now, but wow, she needs help.

Thanks Alex I think we need a family intervention when my parents return.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

De nada, pixster.

UGH. I just finished scrubbing out the bathroom, and now it's nearly time to get the little munchkin. Time sure flies when there's lots of cleaning to be done.