Unruly Kids in Restaurants

[happybratpack]

I have a close friend that has a very successful Tex-Mex restaurant, the original and two others here in DFW. He has been in business over 10 years and started in pretty much a po-dunk location. Through the years I've watched as he's spent a ton of money upgrading his locations, his interiors, booths, etc and he has built a very very nice restaurant that's still family friendly and he gets a ton of business.

That said, it just burns me when I go in there and there are crayon scribbles on the stone by the booths from kids, parents are letting their kids stand, jump, crawl all over the booths and chairs, kids are running all over the place while there are other people there trying to enjoy their dinner and the parents act like they don't hear them. He had several nice pieces of glass art in different areas but has had to remove them due to the kids climbing, swinging on furniture, etc. He has gotten to the point where he will ask the parents to tend to their children but when he's not there I don't think the rest of the staff follows up carefully. It's just sad that some parents do not teach and enforce basic manners and behaviors. Yes, I know all kids have meltdowns and such, but I don't think crawling under other peoples booths, throwing food, yelling, etc should have to be tolerated by others. Destruction of the restaurant property is unacceptable IMO - I mean, you are sitting in a booth with your kids, is so little attention being paid that you don't see them drawing on the wall next to you!?! Know what I mean?

JMO. Off the soapbox now.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Sorry - I don't catch all the threads and I guess I didn't see it. I'm behind sometimes.

No prob -- I just thought the topic sounded familiar.

 

[Chicago526]

For some people, it is. They don't want to leave their kids with strangers and they don't live near family.

Friends and neighbors, are two options just off the top of my head, if they don't feel comfortable with stangers and have no family nearby. Especially friends with kids of their own, they can trade. One couple gets a night out, while the other couple watches the kids, and the next weekend they switch off. They don't even have to pay, since the favor is being returned!

And if there are truely no options, then, by all means bring the kids along. But take them out earlier in the evening, and make sure they behave, and if they don't, remove them from the situation. If the whole family is going out to dinner, then really make it a family dinner and go someplace that both the kids and the adults are going to enjoy. Leave the fancy late night dinners to when you do have access to a sitter.

I don't want parents never to be out and about with their kids, I love kids, and since I plan to have kids of my own, I can understand that sometimes they just have to come along. But I don't think it's unresonable to expect parents to control their kids. Yes, they sometimes have melt downs, or kids that 99% of the time behave just have a bad day. But all I ask is that the parents try to minimize situations where the kids will be more likely to misbehave (like NOT having them out to dinner at 10 at night), and if they do misbehave, then deal with the situation and not ignore it. If a kid has a temper tantrum and the parents deal with it, then not only will I not mind, but I'll aplaud the parent for handling it, and sympathise with them that their evening didn't go as planed.

 

[swilphil]

I think the bit about the espresso and puppy is funny, but I do think some people are expecting too much from kids, like the Australian restaurant in the original article that said kids must stay in their seats. If you want kids to get unruly and start screaming, keeping them at a restaurant table will do the trick. When my kids start getting restless, we go for a little walk to look around, usually just in the waiting area or outside if possible. If they are screaming, we do take them to the car.

Are kids and parents really that much worse than they were in the past? Or is there less tolerance towards kids in public places?

 

[Candleshoe]

“Don’t get me wrong. As a parent, I have an arsenal that includes the deadly stare, loss of privileges and ‘We’re going back to the car, RIGHT NOW!”’ said Angela Toda, a 38-year-old mother of two small children in College Park, Md. “But the bottom line is, there are certain moments that all kids and parents have — and sometimes your kid is going to lose it in a public place.”

My opinion is that it's not IF your kid misbehaves. It's what YOU (the parent) do when it happens.

We happen to have a wonderful, smart, beautiful, terrific daughter -- who also has an aweful temper. She has tested us since she was 10months old. Luckily, there are two of us and one of her I really don't care if a child starts screaming in a restaurant as long as it's followed immediately by an adult escorting the screaming child OUT of the restaurant.

Are good babysitters hard to come by? You betcha. We don't know our neighbors. (People move in and out of the subdivision a lot). We don't have nearby family. We finally have some options but for us for a long time dinner out meant either dinner out in a noisy choice (ie Joe's Crab Shack) where we still had to remove dd at times. Or Take-Out. Or Chuck-E-Cheeses. (*shudders*)

My applause goes to that store owner.

 

[mookie]

I'm sure I'll get flamed for some of what I'm about to say, but here goes...

I am the proud parent of an almost 3 year old who knows how to eat in a restaurant. To this day, I have never had a meltdown, never needed to let her down to run through the tables and create chaos, had her throw food, or scream at the top of her lungs at a table. In fact, we often get compliments on how well behaved she is.

That being said, I also have had this happen because I am a parent, and it is my responsibility to take care of my child. If she is crabby, we eat at home. If it is 10:00 at night, we don't take her to a restaurant. If the restaurant is a little more upscale, and I see her having the potential to not be able to sit for that long, we don't go to that restaurant, instead we pick one that's a little more noisy and kid friendly. When I know she can handle it, we'll go to one of those more upscale restaurants, but I do not go with nothing to do. A 2 or 3 year old needs to be occupied at all times, and while I know how much parents like to go to a nice restaurant for dinner, you have to realize that anytime you go with a small child will be work. We bring games and puzzles, and more than just the coloring book and crayons that they give you at the restaurant. I have things for her that she only plays with when we go out to eat. She also knows that a table at a restaurant is no place to yell, and yes, inside voices are required. She knows this because I have taught her - because just as much as others don't want to have a nice meal with a child having a meltdown next to them, neither do I.

We have been taking our dd out to eat since she was a newborn. She knows the drill, and even likes going to new places and talking to the waitresses. We have taken her everywhere from a pizza place where you throw peanuts on the floor, to a whitecloth table setting with steak and lobster. Everytime, we have had no problems.

We often have gone out with other friends and their children for dinner, and most always, their kids have been those ones that we have seen in restaurants that have prompted the sign. But I know that these parents are also afraid to take their children out, so they don't do it very often, and when they do, they don't prepare themselves before hand, or read their children's cues to determine if it's a good idea to go out or not. Even when their kids are acting out, our daughter doesn't follow their lead, because I have taught her why it's not appropriate to act that way.

Sure there are many times that we get sitters, and I do enjoy those meals alone, but when our dd is with us, she will definitely follow the rules, or we wouldn't even be there. I guess that's why I get so frustrated when I see other parents in a restaurant with a child that clearly shouldn't be there. Take the cues from your child, and go on another night.

 

[Chicago526]

I'm sure I'll get flamed for some of what I'm about to say, but here goes...

I am the proud parent of an almost 3 year old who knows how to eat in a restaurant. To this day, I have never had a meltdown, never needed to let her down to run through the tables and create chaos, had her throw food, or scream at the top of her lungs at a table. In fact, we often get compliments on how well behaved she is.

That being said, I also have had this happen because I am a parent, and it is my responsibility to take care of my child. If she is crabby, we eat at home. If it is 10:00 at night, we don't take her to a restaurant. If the restaurant is a little more upscale, and I see her having the potential to not be able to sit for that long, we don't go to that restaurant, instead we pick one that's a little more noisy and kid friendly. When I know she can handle it, we'll go to one of those more upscale restaurants, but I do not go with nothing to do. A 2 or 3 year old needs to be occupied at all times, and while I know how much parents like to go to a nice restaurant for dinner, you have to realize that anytime you go with a small child will be work. We bring games and puzzles, and more than just the coloring book and crayons that they give you at the restaurant. I have things for her that she only plays with when we go out to eat. She also knows that a table at a restaurant is no place to yell, and yes, inside voices are required. She knows this because I have taught her - because just as much as others don't want to have a nice meal with a child having a meltdown next to them, neither do I.

We have been taking our dd out to eat since she was a newborn. She knows the drill, and even likes going to new places and talking to the waitresses. We have taken her everywhere from a pizza place where you throw peanuts on the floor, to a whitecloth table setting with steak and lobster. Everytime, we have had no problems.

We often have gone out with other friends and their children for dinner, and most always, their kids have been those ones that we have seen in restaurants that have prompted the sign. But I know that these parents are also afraid to take their children out, so they don't do it very often, and when they do, they don't prepare themselves before hand, or read their children's cues to determine if it's a good idea to go out or not. Even when their kids are acting out, our daughter doesn't follow their lead, because I have taught her why it's not appropriate to act that way.

Sure there are many times that we get sitters, and I do enjoy those meals alone, but when our dd is with us, she will definitely follow the rules, or we wouldn't even be there. I guess that's why I get so frustrated when I see other parents in a restaurant with a child that clearly shouldn't be there. Take the cues from your child, and go on another night.

God bless you! If more parents were like you, threads like this wouldn't exist!!!

You and your daughter can sit next to us, anytime!

 

[doxdogy]

I have no problem expecting children to behave. DD, nephew and niece knew the behavior that was acceptable and unacceptable in a restaurant. DH and I use to receive compliments on how well they behaved in public. They knew that running through a grocery store was a big no-no and would be taken outside to the car. My parents expected me to behave in public and I knew that there were consequences to the bad behavior.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

I have a close friend that has a very successful Tex-Mex restaurant, the original and two others here in DFW. He has been in business over 10 years and started in pretty much a po-dunk location. Through the years I've watched as he's spent a ton of money upgrading his locations, his interiors, booths, etc and he has built a very very nice restaurant that's still family friendly and he gets a ton of business.

That said, it just burns me when I go in there and there are crayon scribbles on the stone by the booths from kids, parents are letting their kids stand, jump, crawl all over the booths and chairs, kids are running all over the place while there are other people there trying to enjoy their dinner and the parents act like they don't hear them. He had several nice pieces of glass art in different areas but has had to remove them due to the kids climbing, swinging on furniture, etc. He has gotten to the point where he will ask the parents to tend to their children but when he's not there I don't think the rest of the staff follows up carefully. It's just sad that some parents do not teach and enforce basic manners and behaviors. Yes, I know all kids have meltdowns and such, but I don't think crawling under other peoples booths, throwing food, yelling, etc should have to be tolerated by others. Destruction of the restaurant property is unacceptable IMO - I mean, you are sitting in a booth with your kids, is so little attention being paid that you don't see them drawing on the wall next to you!?! Know what I mean?

JMO. Off the soapbox now.

That reminds me of a sign at a local nice but family friendly restaurant:

"For your convienance we are happy to add the cost of any damage your child does to your bill. Please contact us for a price guide". They actually have a book with copies of the receipts for spot painting, booth cleaning, menus and decor in it. I don't know if it's been used but it's rare that a wild child is found inside for longer than it takes to get them outside.

 

[Marseeya]

For some people, it is. They don't want to leave their kids with strangers and they don't live near family.

Some people won't even leave their dogs with sitters, so can you imagine what they'd be like with their kids???