Sorry, guys.....just saw this.
First thing....I am 45 and we were travelling with all adults and one child (age 8) who adores IOA. Portofino suited all of our needs...quick trip to the park for DS and a relaxed, elegant atmosphere for the "young at heart". The rooms were elegant, the bar fabulous and the atmosphere unbeatable. Definitely adult. Definitely upscale. It was quiet....maybe too quiet if you plan to spend alot of time at the pool....which we did not. We also went off season (November) so I can't tell you what a stay at a different time of the year would be like.
Trying to compare Portofino with Wilderness Lodge is almost impossible. WL rooms are smaller, too dark and IMO need refurbishment. It was a bit of a shock after being at Portofino though by no means a negative experience. The atmosphere of the lobby and pool area is wonderful for kids and great for adults, too! It's just a much more bustling, busy environment. That's why I suggested doing WDW first. Do your running and then do your relaxing!
As far as the parks are concerned, there are alot more choices for a diverse family group at WDW. People go their separate ways and have a great time. IOA/US is a bit more limited concerning that type of option.
Next trip out, we may do Hard Rock. We liked the looks of the hotel ..... just never had any time to get there.