unequally yoked - Can this marriage be saved??

[AreWeThereYet]

Help. DW and I have been married for nearly 18 years, but I am slowly coming to realize that we may not be the best fit for each other. I think we may be unequally yoked - I don't believe we share the same love and devotion for all things Disney.

I didn't notice it at first, but over the years I've seen DW become more resistant to my suggestions of "vacation at Disney" or "let's take a Disney Cruise". She played along for a while, but now I think it's out. I love Disney more than she.

Does anyone out there know how it feels to be in a situation like this? Can anyone relate?

If so, please share your sad story of inequality. Perhaps with enough fellow "unequally yoked" friends to commiserate with it will help ease the pain.

"Hello. My name is AreWeThereYet, and I'm feeling the pain of being unequally yoked."

 

[bongo59]

yes............one yr do WDW then the next let her pick from the concierge collection.............it is not disney but you get it via DVC............that is a compromise that should allow you to be yolked once again.

 

[Mellie2162]

Sadly my DH is not as much of a Disney fanatic as I am but we have things worked out. He is an avid hunter and each year he goes on a hunting trip "with the guys" and I don't complain about it or how much he spends; however, in return we go to Disney for our family vacation and he doesn't complaint about it either. He does enjoy being there and he himself has said there is nothing like the treatment you get there, but Im sure if he had his choice we wouldnt go there every single year. It works for now.

 

[goodcook5]

dh plays along to keep me happy, which in turn keeps him from being miserable if I am miserable . We compromise with him taking disney time to golf the courses around disney. I hate to think of that precious time wasted, but he obviously sees it the other way around. We leave Wednesday for vero and ssr. We have been 6 times in the last 18 months. Most trips are only several days (we have family down there) but this one is a whole week. dh is trying to book his golf daily.

 

[NCRedding]

DH definitely doesn't "get" my love for Disney, but does enjoy the trips I plan. Unfortunately, he is putting his foot down with the next year's trip--we "have" to go somewhere else.

 

[newholidayx2]

thats why DS13 & I are taking our first mother/son WDW vacation
and our first two week vacation
We're also going away 5days to Maine and 7days to NH this summer w/out DH
DS & I have been vacationing w/out DH since DS was 4 (DH did go on our other WDW vacations)

 

[WithDisneySpirit]

I feel bad for the OP and some of the other posters

I am lucky because I cannot relate. It was my DH who suggested we honeymoon at Disney; we already had the vacation planned and then we married there too I believe he loves it as much as I do! He thinks I am a bit crazy for all the pre-Disney hours spent here

 

[JimMIA]

Rule One: "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

 

[WDWLVR]

DH was sceptical when I suggested Disney for a honeymoon 15 years ago. Before that his only experience at WDW was as a kid going Easter week with his parents.

He was hooked on our honeymoon and is now as big a fan of all things Disney as I am. Most of our trips are Disney related.

This year we are doing WDW in June (not an ideal time but DH has a convention to go to), the DVC Member Cruise in September (got to love partying with our DVC friends), and Disneyland in December (first time visiting there at holiday time).

DH and I cherish our vacation time together. Even though we are DINKS we don't get to spend as much "us" time as we'd like.

 

[goofy4tink]

Dh didn't 'get it' for awhile. Then after staying at the Polynesian in '03, he suggested looking into DVC. Don't need to ask me twice!!! We were proud owners at BWV 3 months later! He likes it there a lot, but he can get a little tired of it. So, dd and I go without him on occasion. I'm actually going solo in late Nov/early Dec for the first time. We are trying to have vacations to other spots at least every other year now.

But, yep, I'm also 'unevenly yoked' but at least I have found the solution!!

 

[Granny]

Rule One: "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

Come to think of it, I'm not sure why that truism strikes me as funny!

DW enjoys our DVC very much, but her interest in the parks is not nearly as avid as mine. In many ways, DVC "saved" our WDW trips for future years.

And AreWeThereYet....don't fret! If DW and DD don't want to go to WDW, just think of how far those points of yours will stretch if you only have to get a studio from now on!

 

[AreWeThereYet]

And AreWeThereYet....don't fret! If DW and DD don't want to go to WDW, just think of how far those points of yours will stretch if you only have to get a studio from now on!

Yeah - I know....

to be honest - I was at a convention two weeks ago in Orlando (stayed at Universal cuz the conference was nearby) and flew DW out for a long weekend. I did manage to convince her to go to WDW (we did AK and EPcot) and we had one of the best, most relaxing times of any of our visits (yes...I insist on going at least once a year). We only did 5 rides all day, but we had a blast.

I don't know how anyone could think of another option when WDW and all its glory are here for us to visit.

Anyone got Dr. Phil's phone number????

 

[Holly]

Rule One: "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

So true.

My dh doesn't share my level of enthusiasm for Disney- but he's a good sport about it. He knows how much the kids and I love it, so he plays along.

 

[Terry S]

I am lucky enough that my husband enjoys WDW almost as much as I do. We went pre-kids and he enjoyed it, but after we had kids and went back and he saw how happy it made that, he enjoyed it even more. Now we are both hooked.

 

[lllovell]

The trick for hubby and I is working in things he likes to do sometimes as well. For Valentine's day, I bought him a Rookie Experience at the Richard Petty Driving School and he LOVED it. Also, DVC has been a HUGE savior for us. He loves the nicer accomidations and the resorts are a large attraction for us now too, which has turned us from being park commando's which was probably the biggest turning point. We still put a lot into our short weekend trips (2-3 a year or so), but I now make sure to just pop for the better accomidations and he seems to enjoy himself MUCH more. (Thank goodness for moderate AP discounts!)

Good luck working out your "unbalanced" Disney views. Have a sit down and get her to tell you what she wants out of a vacation. Maybe its the speed of what you are doing. Maybe shopping would be more fun. Maybe scheduling one day on one day off would make her happier. Communication is key (even if its hard to figure out what really would make an ideal vacation...it gets rid of excuses to be unhappy with your time away if things don't go well too which isnt fun lol)

 

[Mellie2162]

My dh doesn't share my level of enthusiasm for Disney- but he's a good sport about it. He knows how much the kids and I love it, so he plays along.

This pretty much sums it up for me too. It also helps that he gets his "own" hunting trips each year (and lets face I get a break from him).

Also, since we have been several times now we are not such "park nazis" and are now starting to plan other things for him to do there as well. This year he is going to do the parasailing (anybody ever done this there?) and next year maybe do the bass fishing with DS.

On a side note, I have agreed to go to Alaska with him when the kids are older.....

 

[spiceycat]

my sister in law use to hate WDW.

she went along on the trips. but she always (at least when I was there) say sometime insulting about WDW.

they have not been in a while. I am buying tickets for my brother and my niece to go. My understanding is that my nephew and his mother would go to US/IOA. Guess who got mad and insulted that I had not included her a WDW ticket....

they are staying in an offsite timeshares that allows pets. (her dog that can't be left and CAN'T stay in a kennel). this is so downright silly!!!!

Spicey stays in a kennel at WDW.

 

[CarolMN]

Maybe the DIS should expand the scope of the Rent/Trade Forum to help people like the OP. Think about it - he probably doesn't need/want a whole new parntership, just a temporary DIS - one.

Best wishes -

P.S. There are some days when I might want to take advantage of that myself! (JUST KIDDING!! - Or am I, LOL)?

 

[erikthewise]

I have often thought (in my dark, devious moments) that we needed a separate board for those seeking a more Disney-oriented significant other.

CarolMN, please explain more about the "rental" approach.

But then maybe DIS doesn't want to end up on Oprah -- "Scores of marriages torn apart by Disney online support group!"

 

[wtpclc]

Maybe the DIS should expand the scope of the Rent/Trade Forum to help people like the OP. Think about it - he probably doesn't need/want a whole new parntership, just a temporary DIS - one.

And I feel awkward telling my dh about going to a DISers house to scrap book. Well, I met her online... I can just imagine his reaction to my vacationing without him with a DISer.

Good thing he loves WDW as much as me!