Unannounced visitors, pop-ins: Yay or nay?

[jdb in AZ]

A guy I was dating (first or second date) showed up half an hour early. I was not anywhere near ready and didn't dare answer the door. I didn't know what else to do, so I kept getting ready, and he showed up again, on time. We both pretended he hadn't shown up early, but I later heard from the other couple we "doubled" with that night that my date was upset that I wasn't home half an hour before our date, and I should have made it more of a priority. huh? If he wanted to pick me up early, he coulda called. We didn't go out again -- small loss.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I voted "other" because it depends on who it is.

 

[sharona]

Ugh. I hate the drop in and not because the house or I might be a mess. I hate it because I have very little free time and I don't want anyone else dictating how I spend it.

I have an uncle and an adult cousin who are the king and queen of the drop in. Theyre infamous throughout our very large family. They're just trying to get away from my aunt who is a shrew. They always seem to show up on weekend afternoons right when I finally get a chance to put my feet up and turn on the game or crack a book. They stay for HOURS. They have even dropped by when I had a driveway full of cars and was obviously entertaining. I put a stop to it last year. They showed up at the door at 1 pm on a Saturday and I opened the door in my bathrobe (thrown on over my clothes) and kept the screen door locked. I told them "so sorry, no visitors today. I wish you had called first so I could have saved you the trip." And then I just waited til it sunk in and said "oops, I'm I the middle of cooking, I have to go. Call me next week we'll make plans! Bye!" Big smile, close door. They have not dropped by without calling since and didn't seem the least bit offended.

I never drop in on anyone, even if told it's ok.

 

[kimblebee]

The only people who would show up without prior plans would be family. Even then they call or text to make sure I am home and to give a heads up. It may only be a five minute warning but that's enough. They usually don't stay for a visit either, it's to pick something up or drop something off.

 

[aprilgail]

I don't mind pop ins a all- I am glad my family, neighbors and friends feel comfortable enough to pop in whenever.

 

[tvguy]

I probably haven't had anyone drop in unannounced in 15 years. I had a couple of friends who would do that from time to time, no big deal, I kind of miss it now that you mention it.
But growing up, my parents friends used to do that all the time. One friend of my dads used to pull up in the driveway, open the garage (when he could have just as easily gone through the gate) tie his dog up on the post on the back porch and knock on the back sliding door. More than once my dad was relaxing in the recliner in his boxers and had to scramble for his pants. It was a hoot to a kid.

 

[Saphire]

Drop in visitors are a thing of the past, when people weren't working full time and the pace of life was much slower. I know there are still areas of the country that are still in this mode, but it is fading.

With all the current technology and people being so busy, it is not acceptable to just drop in. It will soon become extinct, for better or worse.

 

[eliza61]

Doesn't bother me. the people who pop in are usually very close friends. lol two of them have a spare key to my house anyway.
Other than that, I generally don't have acquaintances popping in. also I never have a problem telling folks it's a bad time if I'm doing something else

 

[Neesy228]

As a PP said, I have a very short list of people that I'm ok with just stopping in...my two BFFs and my siblings. That's pretty much it.
Everyone else better call me and give me some time to straighten up before they stop by. I would find it rude otherwise.

 

[verleniahall]

it doesmt faze me - i was raised that a guest could comde ay any minut or time of day. you have a bed ready if its for overnightm a frozen meal ready to pop in the oven, and the good china readyily available. noone is ever turned away

 

[MimiOfTwo]

DH's family takes pop in to a whole new level. His sister recently called when she was minutes from our house. Said she and her family were spending the night with us. They were on their way to see another relative and our house was the halfway point. She's dropped in before (from 5 hours away) when we had plans.

 

[whitney250]

DH's family takes pop in to a whole new level. His sister recently called when she was minutes from our house. Said she and her family were spending the night with us. They were on their way to see another relative and our house was the halfway point. She's dropped in before (from 5 hours away) when we had plans.

I would have been one unhappy camper! I get annoyed when they pop in and just stay for an hour or two without prior notice.

 

[pigletgirl]

I like a warning. However, our neighbor is known to pop by with things, but she's always very gracious about it so I don't feel pressured.

 

[LBIJim]

Nah, I don't like unannounced pop-in visitors. But it hasn't happened in over 10 years. I live near the beach, and occasionally in the summer friends or relatives would "just happen to be in the neighborhood" and stop by to say hello. Sometimes they would hint for a place to sleep overnight.

When I was a kid, however, it was somewhat of the norm to just stop in my parents' siblings homes unannounced. Most of us lived within a few blocks or each other. And there was an unstated open invitation at both sets of grandparents' homes on Sundays and major holidays.

 

[superme80]

The only ones who can get away with this is my 2 friends, in laws, and my parents. Anyone else needs to call. I don't mind, but almost any time is a bad time. I have 3 little kids who are always throwing fits or trashing my house.

 

[Disney Doll]

Doesn't bother me. I usually have the house presentable. And if I'm doing some housework or yard work, I welcome the chance to take a break.

 

[ebtbmom]

My brother will drop by occasionally, but he's usually just checking on something and never stays long. I don't mind him, but otherwise I hate unannounced people showing up at my house. If I'm at home I'm comfortable in pajamas and not at all presentable. Drives me crazy to have to rush to find something to throw on. Plus I'm not at all social and I'd rather be watching Netflix than visiting with anyone.
I wish I had an alligator filled moat around my house.

 

[sharona]

My brother will drop by occasionally, but he's usually just checking on something and never stays long. I don't mind him, but otherwise I hate unannounced people showing up at my house. If I'm at home I'm comfortable in pajamas and not at all presentable. Drives me crazy to have to rush to find something to throw on. Plus I'm not at all social and I'd rather be watching Netflix than visiting with anyone.
I wish I had an alligator filled moat around my house.

 

[Kayabee]

It depends on who it is. I have family and friends that could pop in and it wouldn't bother me at all. They aren't expecting to be entertained, don't care if I'm in sweats and the laundry is in the living room being folded.
If it isn't someone I'm really close too, I'd have an issue with it.

 

[mom2rtk]

OP, have you asked this friend to give you a heads up if she's coming by? With cell phones and text, there's really no reason she should not be willing to do that. If you've asked and she still pops in unannounced, I would find that quite rude.