Unacceptable by degrees.

[OceanAnnie]

I'm talking about weight here.

I have a some unwanted pounds. I can manage to keep my weight, "not a hair over this number". I'm ready to move that line back. But for some reason it's kind of acceptable for right now. But anything over this is not. I'm nuts. Cause really, I should be thinking "this" number is not acceptable.

Do you look at your weight the same way? Or am I nuts all alone?

 

[Christine]

Kind of.

I recently lost about 13 lbs. I got to a point that I weight 153 lbs (I'm 5'7") and I was VERY unhappy with how I looked. I also have this magic number in my head that I should weigh in the 140s. I don't know why. Most of my life, until pregnancy, I was 130.

I got down to 137, still unhappy with how I look but for different reasons now. But in my head, I have a cutoff of about 145.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm talking about weight here.

I have a some unwanted pounds. I can manage to keep my weight, "not a hair over this number". I'm ready to move that line back. But for some reason it's kind of acceptable for right now. But anything over this is not. I'm nuts. Cause really, I should be thinking "this" number is not acceptable.

Do you look at your weight the same way? Or am I nuts all alone?

Um, nope not nuts. I am right there with you.

I have gained 10lbs since Oct. when I quit smoking which brought me close to that "oh hell no" number on the scale.

 

[minkydog]

I can't speak to whether you're crazy but I can tell you that *I* am definitely crazy and i've got the meds to prove it. I have a real struggle with body image. My weight wasnt' out of control untill after Christian was born and DH became disabled. Over the last 16 years my weight has sky-rocketed by 80-lbs. I have lost 40lbs, so I know I can do it. I had lost 55, but i gained 15-lbs over the winter after Christian got hurt. (I sense a trend here...).

But here's the core of the issue: Even though I have lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off for a year, even though I am continuing to lose I cannot see it. I cannot feel it. Shopping for clothes is absolute torture--nothing fits right. Fat clothes are too fat, smaller clothes are too tight in all the wrong places. And as far as I can see it's not getting better any time soon.

The real problem is that I have unrealistic goals. I was anorexic when i was younger. I weighed 92-lbs when i started college and only 112 when i got married. Once I passed 125 I kinda gave up. I felt so fat and ugly. I know my thinking is skewed but there it is. Somewhere in my mind there is tape saying "It doesn't matter how much weight you lose, if you're not less than 120 it doesn't matter--you're still fat." I look at my lovely DD18, who weighs about 115-lbs and I see a beautiful girl, well-proportioned. And when I look at her I think" Gosh, I weighed way less than her--I must have looked GREAT!" Logically, i know that this way of thinking is sick, but I can't seem to fix it. My doctor tells me that she wants my weight to be around 160 Obviously, we have a major difference of opinion on that. I know in my head that I will never be 90-lb again, but it seems to me that if I'm over 120, I'm just a big fat failure. So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Truthfully, I think this is some kind of eating disorder.