Uh oh! My granddaughter is in trouble..

[C.Ann]

She just turned 5 in September and I don't know if it's the excitement of Christmas or what, but she got herself in quite a jam yesterday..

She went to her other grandparents yesterday and was quite indignant over the fact that they put up their Christmas tree without her while she was here with me for the weekend..

She waited till everyone was in the kitchen and then she went down to the family room and removed every single ornament she could reach!!!!!

Grounded....................................no tv...................no videos...........off to bed early...............................

 

[Pam]

Now - I can understand her reasoning..... and I probably would have sat with her and redecorated the tree......

Poor little pumpkin - all she wanted was to share the holiday spirit.....

 

[Boo'sMom]

Awwwwww.....that's not such a horrible crime......they should be ashamed of themselves for not waiting to share the magic with the one that "gets it" the most.



look at it this way....only the bottom half of the tree needs to be redecorated!!!

 

[C.Ann]

When my DD called to tell me what happened I about bit my tongue off to keep from voicing my opinion.. As a rule her grandparents on that side cater to her every whim unbelievably (really far beyond what they should be) so I'm not surprised she was put out that they trimmed the tree without her..

On the other hand though, she probably shouldn't have taken it upon herself to "untrim" the tree.....

I just hope she stays out of trouble till Christmas now!!!

 

[mtemm]

sounds like something I would have done when I was her age. I agree I would have just sat there and put the ornaments back with her. At 5 she should have known better, though.

of course, I was also the kid who woke up very early on christmas morning. Santa used to leave presents for my 2 sisters and I in piles around the tree...one pile for one sister, another for the other, and one for me. Since nobody knew (!) what Santa had brought yet, I would go thru the best stuff in my sisters piles and trade it for stuff I didn't care so much with from my own pile. Hey, who knew, right?

How my mother loves telling stories from this time...

 

[mudnuri]

oh boy, can I see DD6 doing something like that!

I think the punishment was a bit harsh....she's only 5, and was upset that they didnt include her. can't say as though she's to blame, can she really understand all that's going on etc..


Brandy

 

[FOJMO]

Grinch Grandparents

 

[s&k'smom]

Well that actually sounds like my ten year old niece. She gets mad if anyone but her "babysits" the babies in the family. And my two year old to me to "go away mama" the other day when I tried to stop her from playing with the VCR!

 

[4greatboys]

Originally posted by s&k'smom
Well that actually sounds like my ten year old niece. She gets mad if anyone but her "babysits" the babies in the family. And my two year old to me to "go away mama" the other day when I tried to stop her from playing with the VCR!

Poor girl C.Ann. They should have told her she should not remove the ornaments but I would have let her help me put them back on.

LOL sounds like my 3 yr old. If I catch him doing something he is not supposed to do and I tell him to quit he tells me to leave or to "go over there" so I cant see him. Its funny sometimes just to see what they are thinking.

LOL mtemm--you sound like your parents had to keep a close eye on you as a kid.

 

[Chris2597]

I had to respond to this one.....I think this could have been turned into one of the wonderful stories that is repeated for years to come by you, your dd and the GP's. I will have my first grandchild this summer and you can be sure if this same scenario happened to me .....i would apologize for not including her, put some Christmas music on and make re-decorating the tree special....This was definetly a lost magical moment...Now instead of you all remembering a wonderful story of a darling child undecorating a tree and wanting to be part of the process....she will remember being in trouble....I bet she will remember this when she is an adult...some life experiences become very engrained..The punishments that were imposed certainly did not fit the situation....I would also have a conversation about that if it were my child....I am surprised that you were not asked how it should be handled..

 

[hipporina]

I can tell I'm in the minority, but I agree with the punishment on this one. If one of my ds did this, I would have been upset too. There is no way I would give in to a stunt like this. I could understand if the gp's had chosen to let her redo part of it or something before she did that, but I personally can't stand it when my kids are sneaky like that and go behind my back.

I wanted to say that not to start an argument, but just to suppport C.Ann. Also, I understand completely about kids acting nuts right now. My boys are bouncing off the walls in excitement.

 

[believe]

I can't say I disagree with the punishment because I am sure we don't have all the 'inbetween' things that happened. I can just see my 5 year old stomping her feet when I would ask her to quit removing the ornaments and that I would have to physically remove her from the room as she screamed at me. We have no idea how the child reacted. If it was simply her removing the ornaments with no back talking or bad behavior then the punishment is a little harsh. I know with our DD the punishment may start small, but her actions will add to the punishment.

 

[charabby]

I agree with her being punished as well. A 5 yo *is* old enough to know better. If she were 3, I could see it as something innocent, but an older child understands what they are doing. I guess I would have to be there to see what her attitude, etc. what was like, but I think if it were one of my 2 dd's at that age, they'd be punished in some way.

 

[KarenC]

I'd have a hard time keeping from laughing at this one...but my kids are big now...and I miss these little challenges. To me there's nothing more precious than a 4, 5 or 6 year-old who's so excited for Christmas.

I'm a big believer in natural consequences and punishments that fit the crime. In this case, the harm done was that the tree had to be redecorated. So I'd make her put the ornaments back on and, since that took time, I would say we couldn't do whatever else we'd planned to do, since we had to redecorate the tree again. That's it, end of story.

In watching my peers grow up, I noticed that some of the kids who had the shortest leashes when they were small, and who were punished for every little thing were the kids who got into big trouble as teenagers. A few of them didn't make it to their twenties because of the bad choices they made.

When I was growing up, there were big expectations to do well in school, but not a lot of rules. I don't remember getting punished alot, but I don't remember doing anything really bad either.

I think that punishments that exceed the crime send the message that the kid is bad. And if the kid thinks he or she is bad, the tendency is to continue to meet that expectation.

 

[charabby]

KarenC,

Perhaps the original punishment was over the top - I don't remember b/c it's all the way at the top .

But, I don't think I'd be having her put the ornaments back on as her punishment - isn't that what she wanted to begin with? Seems like a reward for misbehavior to me.

Nonetheless, whether she's punished or not, it will be one of those stories that get told every year and will seem so cute when she's older (and right now to people other than her embarassed parents). The punishment will be long forgotten.

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry. It would have been turned into a magical moment at my house. I would not have punished her. Talked with her about it as we redecorated the tree, talked with he about undoing something others have done, yes, but not punished.
I would have made the hot chocolate and decorated the tree with her and I would remember to make sure and include her next year. even if it were just in a small way. Like leaving special ornaments just for her.

She un decorated a tree. no big deal

 

[MHopkins2]

I'm a big believer in natural consequences and punishments that fit the crime. In this case, the harm done was that the tree had to be redecorated. So I'd make her put the ornaments back on and, since that took time, I would say we couldn't do whatever else we'd planned to do, since we had to redecorate the tree again. That's it, end of story.

Depending on what else the plan was, I think this might be giving her exactly what she wanted in the first place. (I.e., not a good deterrent to not act out again.)

 

[KarenC]

Originally posted by charabby
KarenC,

Perhaps the original punishment was over the top - I don't remember b/c it's all the way at the top .

But, I don't think I'd be having her put the ornaments back on as her punishment - isn't that what she wanted to begin with? Seems like a reward for misbehavior to me.

Nonetheless, whether she's punished or not, it will be one of those stories that get told every year and will seem so cute when she's older (and right now to people other than her embarassed parents). The punishment will be long forgotten.

The ornaments have to go back on, I'd let her help make that happen--in kind of a no nonsense way--but find a way to say that because we had to take time to do that, now we can't do whatever else she wanted to do. The punishment would be taking away some other time consuming thing she wanted to do.

I would say to her "because you removed the ornaments from the tree, now we have to put the ornaments back on the tree, so we don't have time anymore to do x" (bake cookies, go sledding, watch A video or tv show--whatever it was that they planned to do with her).

I agree about those stories that keep going...when DD was 1 she took a bite out of a gingerbread mitten that was hanging on the tree. I don't think she liked it, because she only took one bite. Everytime we put the gingerbread on the tree, we tell that story!

 

[charabby]

OK, I see what you're saying. I can't disagree with that, but I still don't think she'd be putting any ornaments on if she were my kid - maybe she'd watch or have to go back to the kitchen. I'm just imagining if my 5 yo did this - I'd be pretty upset b/c she's too old to not understand why undecorating grandma's tree is not OK.

In the end though, no harm, no foul. At least G & G know how important it is to her that she be included. A lot of kids might have just dropped to the floor and had a screaming fit over it (now how unmagical is that!). Like I said, it's now part of family lore .

 

[cati]

Poor girl, she just wanted to be part of the fun. Now mind you maybe she should not have took the ornaments off, but why not sit down and talk to her and let her express how she is really feeling and then make a decision on punishment.