Uh oh...he's learning to be a BOY! HELP! ;)

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

My quiet, non-agressive little boy apparently is taking "How To Be A Boy 101" from some of the other boys at school.

He's been in trouble this week for pushing/hitting (though never a girl, he says), talking back to the teacher and taking toys away. His teacher put him in time out for each offense (luckily, not all were on the same day) and reminded him of the rules. I talked to her yesterday about his recent behavior changes (which he's been doing more of at home too, and getting in time out for as well) and she said it's probably him just becoming more confident, coming out of his shell, finding his own voice, etc.

I knew that at some point he was going to test his boundaries and try to push the limits a little bit. I just wish he wouldn't try to break all the rules at once.

 

[BeckyScott]

I wish I had some suggestions, but I am living in the middle of that myself.

Has he started making fart jokes yet? Prepare yourself.

I look back and find it hard to believe that in preschool my dear DS needed extra instruction on how to be more assertive-- he used to just let other kids take away his toys or push him or whatever-- I guess he learned his lesson well, I'll give him that much.

 

[bookwormde]

Often just explaining how the actions are perceived by others and the impact they have is often enough to end many behaviors unless the negative models is on going. If that is the case then it is more difficult and often takes a much higher level of environmental monitoring. This is exceptionally important if the influences have any bullying tendencies since our children are so easily made into pawns.

bookwormde

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

He hasn't started in on the fart jokes yet..he barely understands the concept of making a joke.
For example:
DS: Knock knock!
Me:WHo's there?
DS: Bunny rabbits!
Me: Bunny rabbits who?
DS: Bunny rabbits starts wiff B!
Me: Well yes, but that's not funny.

Often just explaining how the actions are perceived by others and the impact they have is often enough to end many behaviors unless the negative models is on going.

I think being put in time out once (or twice or however many times) is enough to make him eventually realize that this is NOT how we behave at school. When I got home today after picking him up, I asked him w hat he did at school today. His answer? "I didn't hit nobody! I didn't push a girl either!"

I tried really hard NOT to laugh because it was funny.

 

[bookwormde]

One thing to be aware of (particularly as they get further into elementary school) is that time outs are a “social punishments” which for may spectrum children are often more relaxing and restorative than the standard school environments so great care must be taken to ensure that it is not a reinforcer for unwanted actions.

bookwormde

 

[kaffinito]

One thing to be aware of (particularly as they get further into elementary school) is that time outs are a “social punishments” which for may spectrum children are often more relaxing and restorative than the standard school environments so great care must be taken to ensure that it is not a reinforcer for unwanted actions.

bookwormde

Exactly. That's how my oldest boy reacted to time outs. His teacher had to modify his punishments by making him write a lot of sentences and that seemed to work.

To the OP, watch out! The only thing more frightening than an ASD boy is an ASD teenager!

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

He hasn't been diagnosed with ASD...yet. I don't think he is 'on the spectrum' tbh. He's never shown anything that makes us (or anyone else really) think he's ASD. He does have SPD, however and some motor delays (both gross and fine).
It's just that up until last year, when he started pre-K, he'd never been around other kids a lot and was a little shy. He's starting to come out of his shell and not let the other kids walk all over him, I think. Or least that's what his teacher indicates to me. And I see it when he's playing on the playground with random new kids..he'll say "Hey boy! Come play wiff me!" and things of that nature, chase the other kids around and be chased in return. It's quite encouraging really, to see him start interacting more with the other kids.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I'm in the same boat with ya; my son is very similar to yours, and doing a lot of the same stuff; got to love Kindergarten...

I'm still hoping that "this too shall pass" and trying to stay consistent. It sounds like you're doing a good job

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Consistency is the one thing I'm good at. I may be lousy when it comes to a lot of things, but one thing I am is consistent. Rules=order=no chaos.

 

[quasar4legs]

Darling boy, he sounds adorable.

The first and as it turns out only time my son got into trouble for pushing was when he was 6 and waiting to go into the school chapel. Someone pushed him, he pushed back and half the line of boys fell over in a heap all laughing and wriggling. The teacher said it was hilarious and said she had to stop herself from laughing out loud. (I was mortified and just thankful no one got hurt).

My son was sent to a lunchtime detention and had a great time with all the 'big boys'. He came home excited by the punishment and was thrilled to be making big boy friends

I was convinced he was headed for a life of violent crime but to my knowledge he has never hit another person and is now a very sensible and responsible 18 year old.

Good luck when the 'toilet humour' starts, that is the worst.

Trish

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Someone pushed him, he pushed back and half the line of boys fell over in a heap all laughing and wriggling.

When I talked to his teacher, she said this was EXACTLY what was happening..they were out on the playground pushing each other and when they'd fall over, everybody would laugh like it was the funniest thing ever.

He's a good kid and doesn't get into much trouble, thankfully. Listens well and does what he's told and is slowly but surely progressing on his IEP goals.
A lot of the goals they set for him he's either gone from NP (no progress) to P1 (shows progress) or P1 to P2(more consistent progress).

 

[quasar4legs]

Glad to hear that things are going so well for your son, sounds like he is achieving lots of his IEP goals.

My son attended a boys school from Kindergarten until year 5. Whenever I was at the school I was constantly shocked at how physical the boys were, always poking, pushing, touching, leaning on each other etc.
I grew up with one sister and have never gotten used to all that rough and tumble that seems to happen with boys.

As I used to say to my hubby and son when they were rough housing "It's all fun until someone gets hurt"
Mostly it was hubby that got injured when they wrestled.

Hope your son continues to have 'fun' at school.
Trish

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Since I"m very much a tomboy, I knew that eventually he'd start with the pushing, poking, etc. I didn't know when it would start, but I figured it would start eventually.
After all, that's how guys bond--they poke, they push, they wrestle, they play tackle football.
My DH wrestles with him and chases him and so do I. We're constantly on the floor pushing each other and wrestling and roughhousing.