Ugh. Sister getting married now in Dec. in Florida. I had trip planned for Oct.

[crashbb]

Do we actually know that it is a destination wedding?

The wedding is in Celebration (not specifically at WDW) - might that not be where she (the bride) lives or where the groom is from?

 

[Evi]

It's not really fair to assume that the only factor in OP's decision is whether to move her vacation. She is actively paying down debt, and the cost of EVERYTHING is magnified in December. Plane tickets, hotels, and rental car prices soar that month. It is one thing to decide that a family vacation is a worthy thing to save for, and it seems to me that OP has chosen a fairly decent time budget-wise to take her trip. To push the trip back to a peak time, with a full family in tow, could easily double her budget.

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I find it a little rude of the sister to have chosen a December date, not bc of OP's trip, but because all her friends/family will now have to fork over large $$ amounts to attend. I got married last year, and DH and I planned our wedding around major holidays to avoid inflated costs for OOT guests. We even rescheduled from our original date so my dad could be there. Unfortunately, many brides today get caught up in the idea that their wedding is all about them, and are offended that close friends and family members can't/don't rearrange their lives to accommodate whatever whim they have. Rather than feeling that OP should change her plans to suit her sister, I feel the sister should have consulted those whose attendance meant the most to her, and given some serious thought to the realities of her plan. Granted, this was my second marriage, but most of my family was not at my first wedding-in December. This time around, I made a conscious effort to choose more wisely (on all fronts lol)

I'll disagree with you on this because I go every year in November/December when we actually go is based on what dates df can get from work but the price is always the same regardless of if we go in November or December. Even airfare is the same so long as you buy it at least 2 months out. Car rental is the same and last 2 years free dinning was running both months while we went. Granted the weather is a little colder in Dec but Nov is pretty much about the same and as far as parks being busy its about the same all the way down to thanksgiving or christmas both are super busy. So really its all about if she thinks her sisters wedding is worth going to. Personally I would change my vacation especially since its so far out. I really don't even get how this is an issue or how its considered a budget buster. But then again some people love drama so I can see how some have already made this a big deal.

 

[momxx5]

Considering most factors, I would keep the scheduled family vacation. You have worked hard and probably made sacrafices to arrange for this vacation.

Now, concerning your sister's wedding. Of course you will want to be there, however it may not be cost effective for your whole family to attend. I would do whatever I could so that I would personally be at the wedding, but it might work out that it would only be me, or DH & I or DD & I.....however it happened to work out.
People should really be more understanding of everyone's situations when it comes to traveling for weddings. Whether it is a destination wedding or not, it would require travel for OP and probably others as well.

Good luck with your decision.
Please keep us posted.

 

[Tiger926]

I guess I am confused about some details...

Normally I would say with a destination wedding, that the couple needs to expect people not to show as it's more expensive, but this is in Florida, and not some foreign land, so it sounds like it's very doable for the OP.

Sis and I are very close. We were maids of honour for each other, so we helped plan each others' weddings. I am confused as to the relationship between OP and sister though.

How did she not know her sis was planning a destination wedding? Did her sis know she had a family vacation planned? Not sure why this post is even on the budget board since it's almost a year away, and so OP can move her vacation. I can understand if it couldn't be moved, and that would be an entirely different thread, but that isn't what the OP has presented.

Sounds like OP does not want to move her vacation. OP's sounds petty about the whole thing, IMHO, as she is worried about missing the Halloween party. Really? But maybe they don't have that close of a relationship...?

I also don't get some of the responses on here that a sister is not as important as spouse and children. Depending upon their relationship, it may be very important that the OP attends the wedding. It's not in Hawaii or Bahamas, it's in the very place that she already has a trip planned for 2 months prior.

I would hope that the OP can move her vacation until Dec. so that she is present at her sister's wedding.

Tiger

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

Something no-one has mentioned, but say she moves her families trip to Dec. How much time will she be expected to give-up out of her trip to spend with family and/or wedding prep. Will she only be expected to show up at the wedding, hang out for the reception, then leave after only 3-4 hrs; or will she be expected to spend 2-3 days with other out of town family visiting.

Also how close to Christmas is the wedding, does your family celebrate Christmas, and will this trip in Dec adversely affect your celebration plans with other family members?

Is this the only family vacation your family will take for the year?

I don't know about others but Dec. is a very busy month for my wife and I both at work and at home, not sure I will ever take a trip in Dec.

Paul

 

[kelleigh1]

It also seems that everyone is ASSUMING that it's a "destination wedding". The OP never said that. Maybe her sister actually lives in Florida.

Only the OP really knows and I find it very interesting the the OP has not once come back to comment on her thread.

 

[lizabu]

I would move my vacation back for my sister's wedding but I think it's a personal decision.

 

[Glennie5]

Something no-one has mentioned, but say she moves her families trip to Dec. How much time will she be expected to give-up out of her trip to spend with family and/or wedding prep. Will she only be expected to show up at the wedding, hang out for the reception, then leave after only 3-4 hrs; or will she be expected to spend 2-3 days with other out of town family visiting.

Also how close to Christmas is the wedding, does your family celebrate Christmas, and will this trip in Dec adversely affect your celebration plans with other family members?

Is this the only family vacation your family will take for the year?

I don't know about others but Dec. is a very busy month for my wife and I both at work and at home, not sure I will ever take a trip in Dec.

Paul

Plus Dec is already an expensive time, she may need the time between October and Dec to save money to buy Christmas prsents for her children. I agree with what others have said about your sister being important and I would never miss my sisters wedding but it is a bit selfish to expect anyone to travel for a wedding in Dec.

 

[mrsklamc]

Plus Dec is already an expensive time, she may need the time between October and Dec to save money to buy Christmas prsents for her children. I agree with what others have said about your sister being important and I would never miss my sisters wedding but it is a bit selfish to expect anyone to travel for a destination wedding in Dec.

We don't know that it is a destination wedding.

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

Are you kidding me? How many people live in Fla.? Quit calling it a destination wedding for Pete's sake. You don't know if the sister or fiancee live there. My sister got married at Virginia beach because she lived there. Our whole family lives in the midwest but you can bet your dolewhips we all went. I had to drive across country 5 weeks after a csection with a newborn and 4 energetic boys to be there. We pulled the kids out of school and went and yes I knew that meant our spring vacation plans would have to be delayed budget wise but it's my sister not some cousin twice removed. As far as the immediate family comment I'm floored. I grew up thinking my sister would still be my close family no matter whether we moved away, married, had children whatever. Husbands may not always be there (divorce) but barring any unusual family drama your sister is always your sister. I call her when I have a tough day with our autistic DS and I know she'll say a prayer for us and be there. No mickey bar is worth more than that.

To the OP I would say move the dates F&W and MNSSSHP will be there years down the road somethings gasp scared1 are more important than a vacation.

 

[sleeperclan]

Are you kidding me? How many people live in Fla.? Quit calling it a destination wedding for Pete's sake. You don't know if the sister or fiancee live there. My sister got married at Virginia beach because she lived there. Our whole family lives in the midwest but you can bet your dolewhips we all went. I had to drive across country 5 weeks after a csection with a newborn and 4 energetic boys to be there. We pulled the kids out of school and went and yes I knew that meant our spring vacation plans would have to be delayed budget wise but it's my sister not some cousin twice removed. As far as the immediate family comment I'm floored. I grew up thinking my sister would still be my close family no matter whether we moved away, married, had children whatever. Husbands may not always be there (divorce) but barring any unusual family drama your sister is always your sister. I call her when I have a tough day with our autistic DS and I know she'll say a prayer for us and be there. No mickey bar is worth more than that.

To the OP I would say move the dates F&W and MNSSSHP will be there years down the road somethings gasp scared1 are more important than a vacation.

Well said I would not have missed my sister's nor my brother's weddings for all the Disney trips in the world (and I HAVE to have my Disney trip)!

 

[secretpantssam]

Personally, I would move my vacation for my sister's wedding. She's my sister and it's important that I spend that special day with her. And I'd still get to go to Disney so it works out nicely as far as traveling for a wedding.

 

[smitch425]

I would take my October vacation and fly myself down for the wedding. Being that it is still quite a ways off, I would try to earn some extra money to see if I can get everyone to fly down, but if not everyone could make it, your sister should understand. I also agree with the PP that said that OP's vacation might end up being shared with the planning/prep for the wedding if she moves it.

On a humorous note, when my little brother called from a Florida beach to tell me that he just (literally) proposed to his girlfriend, my reply was "Congratulations! I am so happy for you! Don't get married during basketball season." He laughed and said "Don't worry, we won't."

What does he do? He gets married during football season! I didn't think I needed to tell him not to do THAT!?!? Thankfully, our sister knows better and is getting married this June.

OP, good luck with your decision. There is a lot of time between now and then, so hopefully you can come up with the money to do both trips.

 

[Suz D]

It's not really fair to assume that the only factor in OP's decision is whether to move her vacation. She is actively paying down debt, and the cost of EVERYTHING is magnified in December. Plane tickets, hotels, and rental car prices soar that month.

Depending on the dates in December, they may end up with free dining or a very inexpensive rate on the room. We usually choose to go mid-December because of the cheap rates.

Something no-one has mentioned, but say she moves her families trip to Dec. How much time will she be expected to give-up out of her trip to spend with family and/or wedding prep. Will she only be expected to show up at the wedding, hang out for the reception, then leave after only 3-4 hrs; or will she be expected to spend 2-3 days with other out of town family visiting.

Also how close to Christmas is the wedding, does your family celebrate Christmas, and will this trip in Dec adversely affect your celebration plans with other family members?

Is this the only family vacation your family will take for the year?

I don't know about others but Dec. is a very busy month for my wife and I both at work and at home, not sure I will ever take a trip in Dec.

Paul

The first point is great The second point (how close to Christmas...) factors more into moving the entire trip vs. traveling solo in my opinion. If my sister was getting married in December I would be there unless there was some physical reason that I couldn't be. The OP may not want to take her whole family away at Christmas time (and for our family Christmas time starts December 1st. We celebrate all month long with special family traditions). We don't have a problem going to WDW in December because there is so much Christmas spirit.

One additional comment. My first thought was to go in October with the family and then attend the wedding solo because it would be a relatively inexpensive trip (if airfare is already booked the change fees may be quite high unless you're on SWA).

But, then I thought about several nights in a hotel room ($$ unless you share a room with someone...maybe your sister before the wedding?). Your meals will still be an expense. So this quite likely will be expensive even if it's just you. I realize that you'd incur those expenses regardless of where the wedding was held (unless it was held close to where you live), but if you could just tack on an extra couple of days to a family trip, you'd save your airfare and the family would get a few extra days in the Florida sunshine.

 

[jujube]

5 years ago, we had a WDW trip planned with MVMCP. My brother and his fiancee' decided to move up their wedding date. We found out 2 weeks before were set to leave.The date they chose was the day we were supposed to leave for our trip. Of course, we put off the trip. This was my brother. If it had been a close friend, I would also have put off the trip. Trips can be rescheduled. Weddings are hopefully, a once in a lifetime event.

I agree with those saying nowhere did the OP say it was a destination wedding. People do actually live in FL.

OP, I would try to change your trip to coincide with your sister's wedding.

 

[barbarabini]

OP here:

1. I will travel to the wedding if it is in December but will not be bringing the Husband or kids. December is a busy work time for both, so I will just swing in for the weekend and leave after it. There is no way either of us could take a week off in December and I am not paying to fly 6 people there for 2 or three days and frankly I don't want to be on vacation in December in Florida. So it will be and in and out type of trip.

2. None of my other relatives are able or willing to travel to the wedding in December except for my parents. So, as far as family goes, they are staying put in NJ.

3. DSister is from NJ even though she lives in Florida now. Neither the bride or groom are from Florida or have family there.

4. My parents have offered to pay for the wedding and put up grooms family if it is in NJ. Then the 180 relatives we have here can attend the wedding but my sister is still considering it and doesn't seem swayed yet.

5. Considering that she will be married in front of her friends, who (1) don't know her that long and (2) from probably some preacher, not from the Catholic church, my parents suggested she get married at our church up here, have a reception, take the $$$ gifts (she will definitely make out well), go on a honeymoon and return to florida for a wedding party with her friends, and my parents will kick in for it (paying for the wedding in NJ and for part of the florida party).

I have to say that I don't really think here friends will care if they see her get married, they just want to go to a reception. Her grandparents, godparents, aunts uncles and cousins would like to go to mass, see her get married and then have the reception. All her bridesmaids are from NJ and have to make the trip.

and yes, I understand, its her day. She can have it however she wants it.

 

[BubMunkeyBles]

OP here:

1. I will travel to the wedding if it is in December but will not be bringing the Husband or kids. December is a busy work time for both, so I will just swing in for the weekend and leave after it. There is no way either of us could take a week off in December and I am not paying to fly 6 people there for 2 or three days and frankly I don't want to be on vacation in December in Florida. So it will be and in and out type of trip.

2. None of my other relatives are able or willing to travel to the wedding in December except for my parents. So, as far as family goes, they are staying put in NJ.

3. DSister is from NJ even though she lives in Florida now. Neither the bride or groom are from Florida or have family there.

4. My parents have offered to pay for the wedding and put up grooms family if it is in NJ. Then the 180 relatives we have here can attend the wedding but my sister is still considering it and doesn't seem swayed yet.

5. Considering that she will be married in front of her friends, who (1) don't know her that long and (2) from probably some preacher, not from the Catholic church, my parents suggested she get married at our church up here, have a reception, take the $$$ gifts (she will definitely make out well), go on a honeymoon and return to florida for a wedding party with her friends, and my parents will kick in for it (paying for the wedding in NJ and for part of the florida party).

I have to say that I don't really think here friends will care if they see her get married, they just want to go to a reception. Her grandparents, godparents, aunts uncles and cousins would like to go to mass, see her get married and then have the reception. All her bridesmaids are from NJ and have to make the trip.

and yes, I understand, its her day. She can have it however she wants it.

Wow... Sounds like a fun family...

My DH had at least 30 people from his poor town in New York come down to Florida for our wedding (his second marriage). He had friends fly in from all over the world (he's military). Guess we just hang with nice people who love us a lot to make sacrifices because they care.

 

[furb & dez]

Wow... Sounds like a fun family...

My DH had at least 30 people from his poor town in New York come down to Florida for our wedding (his second marriage). He had friends fly in from all over the world (he's military). Guess we just hang with nice people who love us a lot to make sacrifices because they care.

Wow... Love how you turn a passive-aggressive phrase. How precious.

 

[scdufek]

I would definitely keep your Oct vacation with your children and husband. To me that family time is more important, and if combined with your sisters wedding, would eat into that vacation time. Now, if your able to go with or without your family to the wedding, I would do that in addition to the vacation.

 

[bellarella]

OP here:

1. I will travel to the wedding if it is in December but will not be bringing the Husband or kids. December is a busy work time for both, so I will just swing in for the weekend and leave after it. There is no way either of us could take a week off in December and I am not paying to fly 6 people there for 2 or three days and frankly I don't want to be on vacation in December in Florida. So it will be and in and out type of trip.

2. None of my other relatives are able or willing to travel to the wedding in December except for my parents. So, as far as family goes, they are staying put in NJ.

3. DSister is from NJ even though she lives in Florida now. Neither the bride or groom are from Florida or have family there.

4. My parents have offered to pay for the wedding and put up grooms family if it is in NJ. Then the 180 relatives we have here can attend the wedding but my sister is still considering it and doesn't seem swayed yet.

5. Considering that she will be married in front of her friends, who (1) don't know her that long and (2) from probably some preacher, not from the Catholic church, my parents suggested she get married at our church up here, have a reception, take the $$$ gifts (she will definitely make out well), go on a honeymoon and return to florida for a wedding party with her friends, and my parents will kick in for it (paying for the wedding in NJ and for part of the florida party).

I have to say that I don't really think here friends will care if they see her get married, they just want to go to a reception. Her grandparents, godparents, aunts uncles and cousins would like to go to mass, see her get married and then have the reception. All her bridesmaids are from NJ and have to make the trip.

and yes, I understand, its her day. She can have it however she wants it.

It sounds like your sister considers FL home. She wants her wedding where her life is. Going to NJ would be choosing her past/family over that of her fiancee's. I'm guessing there would be family politics there. It also doesn't sound like she wants a catholic mass.

In her shoes, I'd probably also choose neutral ground/my home. I didn't care about presents. I recognized that some people who cared about me wouldn't be able to come (which would have been true no matter what the location) and was grateful for those that made the effort. I wasn't interested in having a huge spectacle or being the conduit for an extended family reunion. This could also be your sister's perspective. (Also, any suggestion that my wedding could have been "bought" would have really offended me -- in fact, my ILs did try such a tactic and it left a very sour taste in both my DH and my mouth. Yes, we were working with a tight budget, but most of our decisions were based upon our beliefs and an attempt to balance the best we could the needs of our two families and our friends. Money wasn't going to tip the scales on any of those issues.)