UGH! Jerk on the road vent...

[diznygirl]

And yes, I have occasionally flipped the bird in my younger days. It's a test requirement when you get your license in Jersey.

Yes, I definitely notice a Jersey theme here.

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

SunudaeAfternoon, there are jerks everywhere, not just on the road. I have had a number of people this week that I would like to flip off. I'll join you in your anger management class.

That's for sure!

Awesome! We should start a class right here on the Dis Boards!

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

Learn how to disengage. If you're in a "cut-off war" with other drivers, realize that your whole intention in being on the road was to get to point B from point A in one piece and relatively happy. Learn how to back off. It's not a freakin' race! Learn that it's not your job to police other drivers no matter how much you think it is.

I understand where you're coming from, but this was not that type of situation, meaning, I was not in a "cut-off" war with him. At no point did I try and go around him to cut him off in retaliation. He simply cut me off. I honked. He gave me dirty looks in his side-view mirror. I gave him the finger. He gave me the finger. The whole original point of my post was to express how ridiculous I think it is for someone who is clearly in the wrong to get mad at you when you call them out on their behavior.

This is the problem with society today. The rude and ignorant people act the way they do, and the rest of us are supposed to shut up and take it. God Forbid we do stand up for ourselves, and we are labeled as the troublemaker. When comes the accountability for their actions?

 

[sbell111]

... Like the old saying goes: if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all.

Strangely, you didn't consider this maxim prior to flipping him off. Instead, you chose to escalate the situation.

He was wrong to cut you off, but everything that happened after is on you.

 

[sbell111]

I understand where you're coming from, but this was not that type of situation, meaning, I was not in a "cut-off" war with him. At no point did I try and go around him to cut him off in retaliation. He simply cut me off. I honked. He gave me dirty looks in his side-view mirror. I gave him the finger. He gave me the finger. The whole original point of my post was to express how ridiculous I think it is for someone who is clearly in the wrong to get mad at you when you call them out on their behavior.

This is the problem with society today. The rude and ignorant people act the way they do, and the rest of us are supposed to shut up and take it. God Forbid we do stand up for ourselves, and we are labeled as the troublemaker. When comes the accountability for their actions?

I'm not going to judge your honking, because I wasn't there. It may have been a "don't hit me" honk or a "your'e a jerk" honk, I don't know. However, when you flipped him off, you decided to reduce yourself to his level (or below). There was no good reason to act that way. At that point, you were the "rude and ignorant troublemaker".

 

[starrzone]

All the more reason to practice disengaging from the situation. I see a lot of justification for actions because "Well, I was in the RIGHT! And I had every right to (fill in the blank - blow my horn; give them the finger; cut them off; etc)"

My DH hears these excuses all the time for why people engage in battle with other drivers. His favorite (sarcasm intended) are the people who say they were engaged in road rage behavior because they were trying to teach the other driver a lesson. The other driver almost killed them and their children and they needed to "set an example" of how wrong that other driver is.

To which my DH replies, as he's handing that parent another citation, "Your children don't learn from other people's examples - they learn from your example. And if I ever see them driving as recklessly as you were, I'll pull them over and ticket them, too."

Learn how to disengage. If you're in a "cut-off war" with other drivers, realize that your whole intention in being on the road was to get to point B from point A in one piece and relatively happy. Learn how to back off. It's not a freakin' race! Learn that it's not your job to police other drivers no matter how much you think it is.

Learn how to disengage and you won't attract so many idiot drivers to you in the first place.

Love this post! I agree 100%; one of my favorite sayings is "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should".

I agree especially with the bolded part. Trying to "teach someone a lesson" by cutting them off because that's what they did to you, leaning on the horn because that's what they did to you, etc., is really not helping anybody. It might make YOU feel better, but more than likely it's going to raise the other driver's hackles and he's going to retaliate. Does that accomplish anything worthy? Nope.

 

[ols386]

I'm not going to judge your honking, because I wasn't there. It may have been a "don't hit me" honk or a "your'e a jerk" honk, I don't know. However, when you flipped him off, you decided to reduce yourself to his level (or below). There was no good reason to act that way. At that point, you were the rude and ignorant troublemaker.

The op has already stated more than once in this thread, that she was wrong to give the other driver the finger. How many times must this be said?

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

The op has already stated more than once in this thread, that she was wrong to give the other driver the finger. How many times must this be said?

Thank you! I'm glad someone noticed! Good grief.

 

[sbell111]

Strangely, you didn't consider this maxim prior to flipping him off. Instead, you chose to escalate the situation.

He was wrong to cut you off, but everything that happened after is on you.

Again ignoring and justifying his actions...Last time I checked my middle finger wasn't going to cause an accident! And for the 100000000 time, I have admitted flipping him off was wrong, but by all means be a broken record if it makes you feel good about yourself.

When people escalate these driving irritations by doing such things as flipping each other off, the roads become more and more dangerous for everybody. It doesn't take much of an imagination to see that this 'road rage' behavior causes accidents and takes lives.

I'm not going to judge your honking, because I wasn't there. It may have been a "don't hit me" honk or a "your'e a jerk" honk, I don't know. However, when you flipped him off, you decided to reduce yourself to his level (or below). There was no good reason to act that way. At that point, you were the "rude and ignorant troublemaker".

You should go back and view 99.9% of your posts before you go calling anyone else rude or ignorant.

If I am being rude or ignorant, feel free to call me on it. Otherwise, replies like this one are unhelpful and just serve to ratchet up the angst level, much like your flipping off the other driver did.

 

[Chicago526]

A good friend of mine has a very long drive into downtown Chicago every day, so she has seen her share of road rage. Twice she's had to call 911 because a driver that cut HER off that she honked at (a "don't hit me honk") gets enraged and spends the next dozen miles trying to run her off the road. Of course, she works for the state police (not an officer) so she's always sure to get the license plate...

I've honked at plenty of people while driving, but only once have ever given the finger. Usually I'm too busy clutching the steering wheel after having to take evasive manuvers to attempt the bird. But the one time I did it was to a lady that blew through a stop sign in a residential area that has a ton of pedestrians (often women walking with young children). I mean seriously, it wasn't even a "rolling stop" she didn't even slow down! And I don't regret it one bit, if anyone deserved it she sure did.

There was one time that I didn't honk (too busy clutching the wheel again) that I so wish I did. I was in the right lane on the interstate, some idiot in a BMW is directly next to me in the center lane and decides to CHANGE LANES RIGHT INTO ME. This wasn't a case of being in his blind spot (which still isn't an excuse btw) because I was exactly next to the guy. I had to dart on to the shoulder to keep from being hit, then brake so I could merge in again behind him. I'm almost positive that he had NO IDEA what he had just done, that he was just oblivious to his suroundings (and you'd think driving an expensive car, he'd be more carefull with it!).

Another time, the other guy was so in the wrong that OTHER drivers around me gave the offending truck the horn and several fingers. I was in a left turn lane waiting for my red light to turn to a green left turn arrow. I'm the first car in line. Normaly I'm pretty quick off the light, as soon as it turns I start to move foward (I'm not gunning it, just a normal exceleration). For some reason I wasn't paying attention and I got my arrow but didn't notice, so I didn't move right away. Good thing I didn't, because dump truck coming from my right decided to blow his now red light (and speeding at that) and made a left so sharp that had I moved into the intersection when I had gotten the green, he would have killed me (really, I doubt I would have survied). I was so startled I did nothing, but the cars in the turn lane behind me saw the whole thing, and they honked at the guy, gave him the finger AND yelled at him! It all happened so fast that I didn't get a plate or the name of the truck company, unfortunatly.

 

[ols386]

Strangely, you didn't consider this maxim prior to flipping him off. Instead, you chose to escalate the situation.

He was wrong to cut you off, but everything that happened after is on you.

Sometimes in a situation like this one, I don't think a person actually "chooses" to behave in a certain way....instead they react, which probably isn't the best way to handle it...but we are all human, and sometimes we react to a situation, not necessarily in a positive or productive manner.

Hopefully we learn from these negative reactions, and don't repeat them. I've certainly been guilty of reacting to something, and am ashamed of myself afterwards.

 

[sbell111]

The op has already stated more than once in this thread, that she was wrong to give the other driver the finger. How many times must this be said?

The reason that is keeps being brought up is because the OP doesn't seem to understand that when she did this, she caused the further escalation of the situation that she is complaining about.

She doesn't see that every thing that she described was caused by the thing that happened just before:

• She got cut off coming out of a toll booth. This caused her to beep at the other driver.
• Her beeping at the other driver resulted in the driver giving her a dirty look in his rear view mirror.
• The driver giving her a dirty look caused her to flip him off.
• Her flipping the driver off resulted in his flipping her off.

Had she taken no action, her entire rant would have been "some jerkface cut me off coming out of a tollbooth." That's irritating, for sure, but the rest of her angst was caused by her actions.

 

[starrzone]

Did you even read the thread at all? Where did I state that I cut him off to teach him a lesson?

Sorry; I was trying to say that people in general shouldn't police others' driving, in general because you just never know when someone is going to go crazy on you. There are plenty of times that I've been cut off, someone has abruptly turned or changed lanes right in front of me without using a signal, or where someone has nearly totaled my own car because of their own stupidity. I would have reacted the exact same way you did if someone recklessly cut me off...I was trying (and not very well!) to get the point across that it's better to vent about stupid drivers in writing, just as you did here, than to actually take action against them while on the road. I think you handled the situation very well.

ETA: I went and reread your original post, and I DEFINITELY agree that if a driver does something totally wrong or stupid, there's nothing wrong with giving them a honk or the finger to let them know that they did it. They might or not be aware, but they'll know for the next time to be more careful and not do anything so stupid. I almost got sideswiped the other day on the highway, in a place where 2 lanes become 1 with a concrete barrier on one side and a ditch on the other. I had signaled that the lanes were merging, but some IDIOT decided to pass me between me and the barrier. If I hadn't needed both hands on the wheel, I probably would have flipped him the bird along with the big honk I gave him!

 

[ols386]

The reason that is keeps being brought up is because the OP doesn't seem to understand that when she did this, she caused the further escalation of the situation that she is complaining about.

She doesn't see that every thing that she described was caused by the thing that happened just before:

• She got cut off coming out of a toll booth. This caused her to beep at the other driver.
• Her beeping at the other driver resulted in the driver giving her a dirty look in his rear view mirror.
• The driver giving her a dirty look caused her to flip him off.
• Her flipping the driver off resulted in his flipping her off.

Had she taken no action, her entire rant would have been "some jerkface cut me off coming out of a tollbooth." That's irritating, for sure, but the rest of her angst was caused by her actions.

Well, I would imagine that after this incident, if she is ever in another situation like this one in the future, she will think twice about flipping-off another driver.

 

[sbell111]

Sometimes in a situation like this one, I don't think a person actually "chooses" to behave in a certain way....instead they react, which probably isn't the best way to handle it...but we are all human, and sometimes we react to a situation, not necessarily in a positive or productive manner.

Hopefully we learn from these negative reactions, and don't repeat them. I've certainly been guilty of reacting to something, and am ashamed of myself afterwards.

I definitely think that we often act without thinking. Further, I think that the OP agrees that she flipped off the other driver without thinking about it.

However, it's important that we own our actions and realize that acting without thinking can have very bad results. Would any of us be surprised if we opened the paper tomorrow and read about a 'road rage' homicide that played out exactly as described by the OP but resulted in someone either being run off the road or shot and killed?

As adults, we need to be able to not react emotionally when someone does something stupid on the road.

 

[ols386]

I definitely think that we often act without thinking. Further, I think that the OP agrees that she flipped off the other driver without thinking about it.

However, it's important that we own our actions and realize that acting without thinking can have very bad results. Would any of us be surprised if we opened the paper tomorrow and read about a 'road rage' homicide that played out exactly as described by the OP but resulted in someone either being run off the road or shot and killed?

As adults, we need to be able to not react emotionally when someone does something stupid on the road.

Agreed. But at times, it happens, and sadly the outcome is not a good one.

I actually think this discussion has been very eye-opening. It's definately made me stop and think.

Thanks for opening this thread, Sundayafternoon!

 

[happywanderer2]

I myself like to stick my tongue out and blow the offending other driver a big fat raspberry. People usually can't see this, but it makes me feel better. And if they did a really big "no no" then I silently wish them projectile vomiting and secretory diarrhea with no exit in sight. And, sometimes when the offending other driver cuts me off and then ends up just ahead of me at the next light I will slap the wheel and laugh loudly--again, the other driver probably doesn't see it, but it makes me feel better. I figure, you can't change other people but you can change how you react to them. It gives me the power.

 

[ckay87]

You know what is really cool? When you make a mistake...a genuine mistake....on the road and the other driver involved does NOTHING. I mean, THAT is really cool. As I said before, I'm teaching my 16 year old to drive, and last week he did 2 maneuvers that really earned him some road rage (pulling in front of people. Really too close! ) Now I knew that he simply goofed, but there was some real potential there for some hostility. But when the other drivers simply slowed down and backed off, I wanted to jump out of the car and hug them - no kidding. I was happy not to be in an accident and was EVER so grateful not to be involved in road rage or flying *birds* on top of it. BTW, if you drive a green Ford pickup or some little red car in the Southeastern PA region, this is for you.....

Moral of the story....be cool. It earns you FAR more respect and don't you prefer to be the better (and safer, more alive) person?

 

[locolala]

As adults, we need to be able to not react emotionally when someone does something stupid on the road.

I reacted emotionally when that jerk cut me off while I was hauling horses. My horses could have been severely injured.. they're like kids to me. I have every right to act emotionally in that situation. Yes, I drove by when he got pulled over and gave the cop a big thumbs up and stuck my tongue out at the driver. Immature? Maybe, but this jerk deserved it. I hope he gets his license revoked.

 

[diznygirl]

You know what is really cool? When you make a mistake...a genuine mistake....on the road and the other driver involved does NOTHING. I mean, THAT is really cool. As I said before, I'm teaching my 16 year old to drive, and last week he did 2 maneuvers that really earned him some road rage (pulling in front of people. Really too close! ) Now I knew that he simply goofed, but there was some real potential there for some hostility. But when the other drivers simply slowed down and backed off, I wanted to jump out of the car and hug them - no kidding. I was happy not to be in an accident and was EVER so grateful not to be involved in road rage or flying *birds* on top of it. BTW, if you drive a green Ford pickup or some little red car in the Southeastern PA region, this is for you.....

Moral of the story....be cool. It earns you FAR more respect and don't you prefer to be the better (and safer, more alive) person?

I know I really appreciated the cool people when I was learning how to drive stick-shift. Thank you Cool People!!!!