U.S. FORCES NAB DR. GERM, DR. OCTOPUS, RIDDLER, PENGUIN
Super-villain Hideout Smashed Outside Tikrit
Just hours after U.S. forces in Iraq nabbed Dr. Germ, the evil genius behind Saddam Husseins bioweapons program, a team of U.S. commandoes in northern Iraq captured Dr. Octopus, The Riddler, and the Penguin, three of the most-wanted super-villains in the world.
The evil trio, all sworn arch-nemeses of President Bush, were captured in what military officials called a top secret hideout outside Saddams home town of Tikrit.
U.S. Special Operations forces, who had been seeking the evildoers for months, said that the sinister threesome were found in an abandoned warehouse marked only by a sign reading, ABANDONED WAREHOUSE: KEEP OUT.
The three super-villains were quickly subdued despite their efforts to escape on what officials called a jet-powered umbrella.
In Washington, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer praised the military for capturing the elusive evildoers, but cautioned, Even though its great to have a villain like Dr. Octopus in our clutches, my Spidey sense tells me theres more danger ahead.
Mr. Fleischers words soon turned prophetic as U.S. forces in southern Iraq later discovered what they called a mobile Kryptonite reprocessing facility.
The van-like vehicle could be used for turning spent Kryptonite fuel rods into red, green and even gold Kryptonite chunks, officials said.
In late February, Secretary of State Colin Powell had played for the U.N. Security Council tapes purporting to be of two Iraqi soldiers discussing such a Kryptonite reprocessing facility.
On the tape, one of the Iraqi soldiers could be heard saying, Green kryptonite making me weak unhhh, before losing consciousness.
****ANDY BOROWITZ ****
Super-villain Hideout Smashed Outside Tikrit
Just hours after U.S. forces in Iraq nabbed Dr. Germ, the evil genius behind Saddam Husseins bioweapons program, a team of U.S. commandoes in northern Iraq captured Dr. Octopus, The Riddler, and the Penguin, three of the most-wanted super-villains in the world.
The evil trio, all sworn arch-nemeses of President Bush, were captured in what military officials called a top secret hideout outside Saddams home town of Tikrit.
U.S. Special Operations forces, who had been seeking the evildoers for months, said that the sinister threesome were found in an abandoned warehouse marked only by a sign reading, ABANDONED WAREHOUSE: KEEP OUT.
The three super-villains were quickly subdued despite their efforts to escape on what officials called a jet-powered umbrella.
In Washington, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer praised the military for capturing the elusive evildoers, but cautioned, Even though its great to have a villain like Dr. Octopus in our clutches, my Spidey sense tells me theres more danger ahead.
Mr. Fleischers words soon turned prophetic as U.S. forces in southern Iraq later discovered what they called a mobile Kryptonite reprocessing facility.
The van-like vehicle could be used for turning spent Kryptonite fuel rods into red, green and even gold Kryptonite chunks, officials said.
In late February, Secretary of State Colin Powell had played for the U.N. Security Council tapes purporting to be of two Iraqi soldiers discussing such a Kryptonite reprocessing facility.
On the tape, one of the Iraqi soldiers could be heard saying, Green kryptonite making me weak unhhh, before losing consciousness.
****ANDY BOROWITZ ****
