U.N. TO BEGIN WEAPONS INSPECTIONS SOMETIME BETWEEN 8 AND 12 THIS MORNING; ASKS IRAQ IF SOMEONE WILL BE HOME
Saddam Demands More Exact Time
U.N. weapons inspectors have informed Iraq that they will be arriving to look for weapons of mass destruction sometime between 8 A.M. and twelve noon today and have asked if someone will be home to let them in.
In a potential roadblock to the weapons inspection process, however, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein has demanded that the inspectors give a more exact time when he can expect them to arrive.
In a sharply worded statement, the Iraqi leader said he was too busy oppressing my people and purging members of my own family to spend the entire morning waiting for the inspectors to show up.
Saddam added that the last time U.N. inspectors came to look for weapons of mass destruction in his country, they said theyd come in the morning, and I waited until two in the afternoon before they finally showed up. It was totally bogus.
The weapons inspectors defended their tardiness, however, saying that Iraq had not been first on the schedule for that day and that weapons inspections in other rogue nations had run late.
In addition, the U.N. encouraged Saddam to avail himself of the toll-free automated weapons inspection hotline that the world body has set up especially for him and other evil despots.
A caller to the toll-free number reaches a recorded voice indicating the following prompts: Press 1 if you are hiding chemical weapons; press 2 if your are hiding biological weapons; press 3 if you are hoping to acquire fissionable nuclear material in the next six to twelve months.
**** BOROWITZ Q & A AT THE MORNING NEWS ****
Andy Borowitz appears as one of the People We Like at TheMorningNews.org. To read a Q & A with Andy, go to: http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/people/andy_borowitz.shtml
Saddam Demands More Exact Time
U.N. weapons inspectors have informed Iraq that they will be arriving to look for weapons of mass destruction sometime between 8 A.M. and twelve noon today and have asked if someone will be home to let them in.
In a potential roadblock to the weapons inspection process, however, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein has demanded that the inspectors give a more exact time when he can expect them to arrive.
In a sharply worded statement, the Iraqi leader said he was too busy oppressing my people and purging members of my own family to spend the entire morning waiting for the inspectors to show up.
Saddam added that the last time U.N. inspectors came to look for weapons of mass destruction in his country, they said theyd come in the morning, and I waited until two in the afternoon before they finally showed up. It was totally bogus.
The weapons inspectors defended their tardiness, however, saying that Iraq had not been first on the schedule for that day and that weapons inspections in other rogue nations had run late.
In addition, the U.N. encouraged Saddam to avail himself of the toll-free automated weapons inspection hotline that the world body has set up especially for him and other evil despots.
A caller to the toll-free number reaches a recorded voice indicating the following prompts: Press 1 if you are hiding chemical weapons; press 2 if your are hiding biological weapons; press 3 if you are hoping to acquire fissionable nuclear material in the next six to twelve months.
**** BOROWITZ Q & A AT THE MORNING NEWS ****
Andy Borowitz appears as one of the People We Like at TheMorningNews.org. To read a Q & A with Andy, go to: http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/people/andy_borowitz.shtml
