Two year old will not sleep!

[ilovejack02]

I might be a horrible Mom, but thirty minutes of screeching didn't bother me a bit as long as I knew DS was dry, fed and safe.

I always checked on him if he started up middle of night, and tried to soothe, but he had to learn to work it out on his own, especially when he refused to settle down when in bed with us.

Hope you find something that works soon.

 

[justhat]

We just got the Twilight Turtle for my 4yo son. He has always been an excellent sleeper, but also always shared a room with his older sister. Well we moved in August and now he has his own room. Both he and his sister were afraid to sleep apart initially, so they both slept in the same room. Now, however, my oldest is annoyed with sharing a bed with her brother (we took his old toddler bed down, so she has to sleep in his bed if she's not in her own room), so she's moved to her own room. And he is not too happy about being alone!

He LOVES this turtle and it totally makes a big difference in his sleep. He has a nightlight, but he can keep the turtle on his bed, not across the room in an outlet, and he can change the color of the lights at will. Since we got it, he has stopped climbing into our bed overnight and stopped begging his sister to sleep with him as well.


Oh, and regarding the crib, I moved my older 2 out of their cribs by 1.5yo and will do so with our 3rd too. She loves her crib right now, but I really think it is easier to get them in a bed younger and gives them that little bit of independence that they crave. We just put gates at their doors and they are free to move about in their rooms as much as they want. In the beginning, we'd find them sleeping on the floor quite a bit. They'd just be out of their beds playing and fall asleep wherever they were. But as they got used to the freedom, they'd climb into their beds when they got tired.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Does she have a set bedtime and set routine every night? What used to work for my three kids was we followed the same pattern every night and tried not to deviate from it. They would have a warm bath, story on our lap, turn on their soft little night light, help them choose a couple books to take to bed, hug and kiss them and leave.

I think what my kids liked was that we just told them it was bedtime...not that they had to go to sleep. They were allowed to look through their books until they fell asleep. To this day, they all read about an hour every night when they go to bed and all love reading.

We also found that earlier worked much better for us. They were all in bed by seven thirty. We found that otherwise, they became overtired and had a harder time falling asleep.

I remember how hard those days could be. But hang in there. Mine are now early teens and I have to now wake them up. Never thought the day would come, but it does.

Good luck to you!

Ding. You have to find something that both of you enjoy and stick with it.

If you are going to do the mattress on the floor then there is no going back.

You keep changing things too much. You have to be the parent, say this is the routine and then stick with it.

My PITB sleeper is 19. Nothing's changed.

 

[bellebud]

random thoughts... my dd wasn't a sleeper until she was about 5yo (didn't sleep 'through the night' until then I mean). She's 11yo now, and a great sleeper. But when she was little, she was a cat-napper (15 minute clips usually), and just didn't need as much sleep as the rest of us.

We did family bed (we started as family bed just because we liked the idea, then she developed a seizure disorder at 15 months old, so we stuck w/ having her with us). Then when ds was born, I didn't want him down the hall and have dd with us, so we all slept together for a long time. We ended up w/ king and queen mattresses pushed together, both off the frames on the floor (so babies wouldn't roll out of a high bed). Our bedroom was pretty much one big bed, and we all had space (but that honestly still didn't stop the sideways sleeping, getting punched or kicked in the face occasionally, etc). We'd try to put body pillows between us for some protection (LOL).

My brother did a modified family bed - he put his toddler's bed in his bedroom, but in the corner, and my one nephew slept there for a couple of years. He's transitioned to his own bedroom now (at 5yo) with his brother. The first couple of nights, my bro slept in the room w/ them, but made it clear it was only for 2 nights. They also put a couple of special things in the room - a lava lamp (the boys love this as their night light). One of my nephews is really into lighthouses at the moment, so they got a few lighthouse posters and hung them up too.

My friend (years ago), did 'modified' family bed. The dad would lay in his bed (like at 7 or 8pm as if he was going to sleep for the night) with the dd in his bed w/ him (he would watch the news, and the dd would fall asleep), and mom would get her evening work done. Then sometimes he could come back downstairs if dd fell asleep quickly, sometimes he just fell asleep too. Then they'd carry dd into her room (she didn't wake up). DD had a full or queen size bed (w/ a bedrail), so that if in the middle of the night there was an issue, mom or dad could just go lay w/ her. This worked well for them, as dd got older she had less and less middle of the night issues, but when she did, everyone could still get some sleep.

hope any of that helps... it's so hard sometimes. My dd used to (when she was about 2 and 3yo) wake up at 2am and say "hey mom, wanna do some crafts?" She was simply AWAKE and ready for the day, especially if she fell asleep too early. Fun times, fun times...

just remember, this too shall pass.

 

[MELSMICE]

OP - does she get cold at night? The reason I ask is because I have reoccuring dreams... always tornadoes. The common link was that I would have them when I got too cold at night. I know it sounds weird, but DS sleeps horrible in the winter. He kicks his blankets off, gets cold and has bad dreams. Just a thought.

I was going to mention the same thing about being cold.

Also........I will probably sound like a mean mom, but my oldest DD would sometimes have some bedtime issues and also wake in the middle of the night. We finally realized it was because she just wanted our attention and wanted to be in control of us & the situation.

 

[NotUrsula]

I might be a horrible Mom, but thirty minutes of screeching didn't bother me a bit as long as I knew DS was dry, fed and safe.

I thought the same thing ... until the cops showed up. One of our neighbors called 911 because she thought maybe DH and I were hurt or something when she didn't stop after an hour (and we couldn't hear her knocking on the door over the sound of DD screaming.)

Embarassing doesn't begin to describe that experience. Naturally she clammed right up when she saw the strangers in the doorway.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I thought the same thing ... until the cops showed up. One of our neighbors called 911 because she thought maybe DH and I were hurt or something when she didn't stop after an hour (and we couldn't hear her knocking on the door over the sound of DD screaming.)

Embarassing doesn't begin to describe that experience. Naturally she clammed right up when she saw the strangers in the doorway.

I'm just waiting for that day... lol. DD is a screecher. The other night it happened randomly at 4am.

 

[ilovejack02]

I thought the same thing ... until the cops showed up. One of our neighbors called 911 because she thought maybe DH and I were hurt or something when she didn't stop after an hour (and we couldn't hear her knocking on the door over the sound of DD screaming.)

Embarassing doesn't begin to describe that experience. Naturally she clammed right up when she saw the strangers in the doorway.

Yes an hour I can see maybe why they called , I guess , maybe lol. Lets call the cops because of hollering child, instead of just calling your neighbor. Maybe they didn't have kids ??! I don't think twice about my neighbors yelling children, because I know them.

My best friend lives in apartment, with a very special snowflake of a DD . We are both amazed no one calls the police or apartment management on her as her DD has brought her tantrums up to a very special level.

 

[NotUrsula]

Yes an hour I can see maybe why they called , I guess , maybe lol. Lets call the cops because of hollering child, instead of just calling your neighbor. Maybe they didn't have kids ??! I don't think twice about my neighbors yelling children, because I know them.

My best friend lives in apartment, with a very special snowflake of a DD . We are both amazed no one calls the police or apartment management on her as her DD has brought her tantrums up to a very special level.

Well, to be fair, DD doesn't holler; she screams as if someone were holding her feet to roaring flames. You can definitely hear it over most of our block when she's going full steam. (I know because on a few occasions I've gotten so frustrated with her that I've had to go outside for a walk to cool my temper, and I've been able to hear her from at least 5 houses away. The kid has got some lungs on her.) On the occasion in question, we didn't hear the knocking OR the phone over it, and we probably would not have noticed the police either, were it not for the flashing lights outside the windows.

This is a whole new world for us. Our older child never screamed for more than about 5 minutes; he had reflux issues and every time he tried it he ended up throwing up, so he quickly learned not to do it. This one is a different story. At 3 she is finally getting to the point where she will eventually give up and cave to what we are demanding of her, but normally it takes at least an hour before that happens. She also sleepwalks, so sometimes she goes into full shrieking tantrum mode without even being awake, and doesn't remember having done it five minutes after it stops.

My older sister says that karma is ... well, you know. Apparently I was once rather infamous for the same thing, but we lived in the sticks when I was little.

 

[Hannathy]

If I heard my neighbors kid screaming for an hour I would call the police or youth services also. especially if it could be heard 5 houses away.

Why would I want to hear that? especially at night. You want to let her scream (which I don't agree with) then put her in the car so you are the only one hearing it and drive around.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

OP- she is telling you that she is afraid. You yourself can see that she is. Now maybe it is something that an adult will think is silly but that doesn't change things. Put a big girl bed in her room and lay with her. She is not going to need you to do this forever. She will not have sleep problems like some people think. We never let the kids cio and while I do respect that it works for some and in certain situations it doesn't seem like it is the right thing for your child. She wakes up at night screaming you say. She could be having night terrors. She can't control that. I know this seems like forever right now but I promise you it will be over in the blink of an eye and you will wonder where the time went. Snuggle her and comfort her. Good luck and I hope you get some sleep.

 

[Hannathy]

OP- she is telling you that she is afraid. You yourself can see that she is. Now maybe it is something that an adult will think is silly but that doesn't change things. Put a big girl bed in her room and lay with her. She is not going to need you to do this forever. She will not have sleep problems like some people think. We never let the kids cio and while I do respect that it works for some and in certain situations it doesn't seem like it is the right thing for your child. She wakes up at night screaming you say. She could be having night terrors. She can't control that. I know this seems like forever right now but I promise you it will be over in the blink of an eye and you will wonder where the time went. Snuggle her and comfort her. Good luck and I hope you get some sleep.

I so agree with this!!!!

 

[NotUrsula]

Just FTR, in DD's case I'm not talking about CIO in the normal sense. She doesn't scream like this because she's frightened or alone, she does it because she's angry at being locked out of our room. We're in there in the trenches trying to talk her down, but once she really gets up a head of steam it used to be very hard to get her to stop, short of forcibly gagging her. She's getting better about it now; she's maturing a bit and learning that there are some battles that are not worth it because she just will not win.

 

[Hannathy]

Just FTR, in DD's case I'm not talking about CIO in the normal sense. She doesn't scream like this because she's frightened or alone, she does it because she's angry at being locked out of our room. We're in there in the trenches trying to talk her down, but once she really gets up a head of steam it used to be very hard to get her to stop, short of forcibly gagging her. She's getting better about it now; she's maturing a bit and learning that there are some battles that are not worth it because she just will not win.

But what is the big deal to letting her into your room? that is what I never understood. It is such a short time that they are like this I would rather not have battles at night.

 

[crispychicky]

OP- she is telling you that she is afraid. You yourself can see that she is. Now maybe it is something that an adult will think is silly but that doesn't change things. Put a big girl bed in her room and lay with her. She is not going to need you to do this forever. She will not have sleep problems like some people think. We never let the kids cio and while I do respect that it works for some and in certain situations it doesn't seem like it is the right thing for your child. She wakes up at night screaming you say. She could be having night terrors. She can't control that. I know this seems like forever right now but I promise you it will be over in the blink of an eye and you will wonder where the time went. Snuggle her and comfort her. Good luck and I hope you get some sleep.

I agree with this 10000%!

We had to do something similar with our DD. We put an air mattress on the floor next to her crib. She could see us laying on the air mattress from her crib. We did our normal bedtime routine and then went to sleep, her in her crib and DH or I on the air mattress. The first few days we just slept in her room with her. Then we'd stay just until she fell asleep. Eventually, we didn't have to stay in there at all and she'd go down on her own with no tears.

...She's obviously trying to work this out, as she keeps playing "put to sleep" games with her dolls. Which is cute...but also really sad. ("Go sleep, Mickey. Don't cry. Mickey scared. Don't cry. Night, night mickey")

I agree that she's scared. She's telling you with her play. I hope you and your poor little sweetie get some good sleep soon! You'll get through this!!!

 

[MELSMICE]

Just FTR, in DD's case I'm not talking about CIO in the normal sense. She doesn't scream like this because she's frightened or alone, she does it because she's angry at being locked out of our room. We're in there in the trenches trying to talk her down, but once she really gets up a head of steam it used to be very hard to get her to stop, short of forcibly gagging her. She's getting better about it now; she's maturing a bit and learning that there are some battles that are not worth it because she just will not win.

But what is the big deal to letting her into your room? that is what I never understood. It is such a short time that they are like this I would rather not have battles at night.

I've been there, NotUrsula, with my oldest DD. She was & still is a strong willed individual.

Everyone knows their child best. We knew when she needed comfort and we also knew when she just wanted her way. For us, it was a battle of the wills many nights.

Hannathy, if she needed comfort because she was afraid or not feeling well, that was one thing. We always made sure she was comforted and not afraid, whether she remained in her own bed or stayed in ours.

When it became a battle of the wills, as her parents, we found it necessary to let her know that she would not always get her way. If that meant she had to cry for a bit, then that's what happened.

 

[NotUrsula]

But what is the big deal to letting her into your room? that is what I never understood. It is such a short time that they are like this I would rather not have battles at night.

She did sleep in our room for quite a long time, but we renovated a room for her last summer, which she's happy to spend time in when awake; she just likes our big 4-poster pillowtop (and the TV that is in our room) better.

The problem is that now she is getting too big to sleep between us without keeping us up, so we take turns snuggling in with her at night until she goes to sleep, and then we go back to our room. She hates this, and she fights it and wants to go to bed in the big bed. (Daddy also had a tendency to fall asleep before she did in our room, so if I wasn't there she'd get the remote and have herself a little NickJr. fest.)

At this point it is a battle over control, and if we allow her to win it on a consistent basis our marriage will end up over, because we're sleepless and turning mean because of it. A sleepless year is a long, long time.

 

[nmmom95]

I so agree with this!!!!

Me too! My son had the same problem when he was that age. Sleep with her in a big girl bed and it will get better. Mama Mouse House is right. It seems like just yesterday that I had this problem and now we are looking at high schools. He still doesn't want to sleep, but now it's so he can play Xbox. lol

 

[Hannathy]

Me too! My son had the same problem when he was that age. Sleep with her in a big girl bed and it will get better. Mama Mouse House is right. It seems like just yesterday that I had this problem and now we are looking at high schools. He still doesn't want to sleep, but now it's so he can play Xbox. lol

I know where does the time go? Mine is sleeping in a tent in the middle of nowhere in 16 degree temps and going on week long canoeing trips. Still doesn't go to sleep at night at home without reading to all hours or watching TV and sometimes both.
They are little for such a short time, snuggle them while you can.