Twins birthday party, only one is classmate

[turkeymama]

DS brought home a birthday party invitation this week from one of his classmates. He is really excited and wants to go. I was getting ready to RSVP and also ask the mom what the little boy might like as a gift. Then I realized, the party is for the little boy and his twin. The twin is not in DS's class though. So do I buy gifts for both of them? DH says yes, it is just part of the package since both names are on the invite. And do I buy them the same thing? I don't have a lot of experience with twins and I'm not sure if that is the norm.

 

[tchrrx]

I think you should buy something for both of them. It doesn't necessarily have to be the same gift, but something that they can play with together.

- Nerf guns
- Action figures (2 different characters that go together)

 

[Magpie]

DS brought home a birthday party invitation this week from one of his classmates. He is really excited and wants to go. I was getting ready to RSVP and also ask the mom what the little boy might like as a gift. Then I realized, the party is for the little boy and his twin. The twin is not in DS's class though. So do I buy gifts for both of them? DH says yes, it is just part of the package since both names are on the invite. And do I buy them the same thing? I don't have a lot of experience with twins and I'm not sure if that is the norm.

I don't know what the "norm" is, but my instinct would be to get two different gifts. I'd call the mom and ask what each boy might like, individually.

My best friend in high school was an identical twin, and she and her sister were nothing alike in personality. They had totally different likes and dislikes. My friend was into martial arts and cars, while her sister was into makeup and music.

 

[soccerchick]

I get games or some kind of kit or package with multiple items like legos or car packs in these cases. I spend more than I would on one gift, but not 2X the gift budget. Sometimes my kid does not know the sibling at all so I feel no obligation to get a separate gift for the second kid under those circumstances.

 

[suzyqsam]

As far as what to get the twins, I would check with the mom to see if they like the same thing. My twins, so far (they are 5), like to get the same thing. When they get something different, they always think the other gift is better and wish they had received that gift. To avoid the drama, when I am asked I suggest the same or like gifts. This may change as they get older but for now, it works for us .

 

[mnrose]

As a mom of twins, I threw one birthday party for them until they were 7 or so (I forget exactly, but somewhere around then we started separate birthdays). While it was still one party, I would send an invite to my DD's invitees and a different invite to DS's invitees. They were in different preschool and elementary classes and had different friends. I never expected parents of their friends to bring two gifts...that would have been ridiculous, IMO! More gifts than I ever would want to deal with, plus why would a kid who didn't even know one of my children buy a gift for that child?

I would call the mother and ask what they would like, but work into the conversation that you don't know "x", but your son is in a class with "y." I'll bet anything she will say "it's not necessary to bring something for x." If you feel inclined to get something anyway, make it small.

I really dislike it when people say "I get both of them something smaller." Ugg. If my kids were both invited to a party, I didn't "combine" gifts...each child brought a gift of the same type/cost as if they had been the only one invited. It should work the same in reverse.

 

[stepmommyof1]

I like the idea of giving a shared gift the siblings can BOTH play with, like a board game or Legos or an outdoor sport type of toy, you may spend more on that than you would on a toy for just one child, but you won't have to buy two separate things and I really like the idea of active, interactive things siblings can enjoy TOGETHER. Makes for bonding and good memories. (of course they should also have their own personal belongings, but as for this situation as a party guest I'd give them a "together" type of game or toy.

 

[daisyduck123]

I would buy one thing that they could share....the first thing that comes to mind is the 2-pack of Nerf guns that Target sells (or at least they used to - it's been awhile since I've been in the toy aisle of a store). You could even pick up an extra pack of ammo (Nerf darts) to go with the guns.

 

[DisneyScraps]

I would buy one thing that they could share....the first thing that comes to mind is the 2-pack of Nerf guns that Target sells (or at least they used to - it's been awhile since I've been in the toy aisle of a store). You could even pick up an extra pack of ammo (Nerf darts) to go with the guns.

You gotta be careful with anything that remotely looks like a gun. My DD could not have that sort of thing and it would end up right in the Goodwill box.

Lisa

 

[aprilgail2]

You gotta be careful with anything that remotely looks like a gun. My DD could not have that sort of thing and it would end up right in the Goodwill box.

Lisa

Thats where it would have gone if my daughter had gotten that too!

I would buy them both something but spend less-- when my daughter was little she would be invited to a birthday party for a family that had triplets- sorry but not spending 75.00 for a birthday party! We try to stick in the 25.00 range for birthday gifts for classmates/friends but when there are mulitple kids its tough!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I would ask when RSVPing. Most parents of twins that I have known only expect/want their kids to get gifts from the children they know at a party.

 

[daisyduck123]

You gotta be careful with anything that remotely looks like a gun. My DD could not have that sort of thing and it would end up right in the Goodwill box.

Lisa

I thought about that for about 2 seconds & then realized that I don't know one little boy that doesn't have at least one of them (and our court has about a dozen boys). They are HUGELY popular.

Nerf darts actually, in no way can be mistaken for a real gun...they are huge & brightly colored plastic and looking nothing like a real gun, IMO. They definitely scream "TOY" when you look at them.

 

[aprilgail2]

I thought about that for about 2 seconds & then realized that I don't know one little boy that doesn't have at least one of them (and our court has about a dozen boys). They are HUGELY popular.

Nerf darts actually, in no way can be mistaken for a real gun...they are huge & brightly colored plastic and looking nothing like a real gun, IMO. They definitely scream "TOY" when you look at them.

Its not if it looks like a real gun or not- its the point that some people don't want their kids to have any gun like toy!

 

[mtemm]

mom of twins here. when my twins have done a shared party, I always only put one name on the invite, so my dd invites the girls, my ds invites the boys, that kind of thing, and, while some people do buy for both anyway (usually close friends of both), the intention is that they are not in any way expected to, and actually usually preferred to buy only for the twin whose friend they are. if you are uncomfortable asking the mom for clarification, maybe ask some other moms whose kids are also invited and find out what they are doing?

as for nerf guns, call and ask ahead of time when you rsvp. I do know people who don't allow them, but I know many more who do. all the kids in the neighborhood have huge nerf gun fights here and they are a ton of fun. I love the idea of the two pack, if you are going to go that route.

 

[turkeymama]

Wow, thanks for the replies and advice. I hadn't even considered getting them a "together" toy, or getting them two separate toys that could be played with together. Both of those are good ideas.

The mom obviously had these invitations made so I'm guessing that's why she printed both names on the invite. Plus, if she gave these invitations to relatives or close friends, it would make sense to have both boys' names on the invite.

I'll ask her when I RSVP what they would like. I'll casually mention that I didn't realize the one in DS's class had a twin. I certainly don't mind buying a gift for both of them, as long as I can do it without breaking the bank. And I'll double check on the Nerf guns, but I'll ask first.

 

[golfgal]

Its not if it looks like a real gun or not- its the point that some people don't want their kids to have any gun like toy!

Soooo, the kids just make guns out of Lego's etc . There have been studies done and kids that play games like cops and robbers with toy guns are actually LESS violent then kids that don't. 20/20 had a huge show on this several years ago.

Anyway, as a mom of twins, I never expected guests to bring a present for both kids. The guests were invited to either DS's party or DD's party-even if the party was the same party. They had a few mutual friends so often they got a gift for both then but in general I would just bring a gift for your son's friend. Our kids were in a smaller Catholic school, just 2 sections for each grade, so they were "friends" with everyone but even then most people just brought a gift for DS OR DD, not usually both.

 

[prncess674]

I was not a twin, but I had a sister who was 10 months younger so we had a birthday in the month that was in the middle. I was born in June and sister was born in April. Let's just say, I always hated "together" gifts. It felt like I was always being shorted. Birthdays are special for little kids and it sucks that you go to all your friends parties and they all got to open their own gifts, seems like many people just bought one gift and said it was a together gift. Yes, two people can play a board game.

I suggest buying two separate gifts so each child has something to open on their special day.

 

[Magpie]

Soooo, the kids just make guns out of Lego's etc . There have been studies done and kids that play games like cops and robbers with toy guns are actually LESS violent then kids that don't. 20/20 had a huge show on this several years ago.

This is very specific to the culture. I wasn't allowed to play with guns, as a child growing up in the US. But I wanted guns and I was fascinated by them, and I enjoyed learning to shoot real ones eventually. So I assumed ALL kids were the same.

They're not. My children, growing up in central urban Canada, have never been interested in guns. None of their friends have toy guns. There's no cap guns. No pointing fingers, no shooty noises, none of the stuff I remember from when I was a kid! Nobody around here bans guns, because the kids just don't care.

My children played with swords an awful lot, though. Sticks got swung at each other like hockey players in a brawl. And bows and arrows definitely interested them. Snowballs, with ice packed in the center! So yes - the aggressive play still exists. The weapons are just different. And fwiw, I doubt urban Canadian kids are MORE violent than urban American kids, just because they don't play with guns.

(I won't hazard a guess as to how Canadian kids play on the west coast, or the prairies, or in rural areas - I'm sure there's regional differences!)

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I thought about that for about 2 seconds & then realized that I don't know one little boy that doesn't have at least one of them (and our court has about a dozen boys). They are HUGELY popular.

Nerf darts actually, in no way can be mistaken for a real gun...they are huge & brightly colored plastic and looking nothing like a real gun, IMO. They definitely scream "TOY" when you look at them.

Wow, Nerf guns are popular in my home. DH and DD shoot each with them and have a blast. She's a straight A student and a great kid. I don't think it will harm her in any way.

Anyway, to answer the OPs question. Speak to the mom to get gift ideas. I agree that just because they are twins doesn't mean they like the same thing.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

My nephews are twins. They will be 22 in May. (holy cow!) Anyway, back when they were in school and my sister gave them b-day parties, all the kids that were invited knew they were twins.

Everyone in town knew Patrick and Peter. LOL. So even though the invited kids were invited by Patrick or by Peter, they all came with a gift for each. Nobody called my sister, they just knew it was a party for twins so they got each a gift.

If I knew my kid was going to a party for twins, I would most certainly bring two gifts. That's just my opinion.