Tweens and bathing suits

[scrapquitler]

I'm the last person to give fashion advice, but I have to say this based on what I saw today at the water park at Six Flags: Mothers, teach your tween daughters that not all swimsuits are flattering for all body types, Help her find a suit that looks good on her and fits properly. All those girls I saw walking around tugging at their rear ends, folding their arms over their chests or hiking up the top to cover their ****s obviously needed a different size or style suit for comfort and coverage. Why let her wear a suit that makes her feel uncomfortable or look ridiculous when there's a better choice somewhere else in the store??

End of public service announcement. Thank you, carry on.

 

[LuvOrlando]

well that wasn't very nice was it?

I have a tween and kids grow really fast in all different spots, even in bursts sometimes and if I didn't have the free time to bring her to the store and told her to re-use last years suit instead my kid could be one of those kids. Easy does it on the parents & the kids ok

PS, my DD has one of those girl board shorts suits from PAC SUN, modesty is harder to find than you might realize.

 

[hereyago]

I wish the clothing companies wouldn't try to make clothes that make tweens and teens look like well you know. and bathing suits, they all are either string bikini, or have that hoop on each side of the bottom.

i have to get DD12 and 1 piece bathing suit for a youth group retreat, so I will be needing luck with that, the 1 pieces look like the whole back part is missing.

 

[mhsjax]

well that wasn't very nice was it?

I have a tween and kids grow really fast in all different spots, even in bursts sometimes and if I didn't have the free time to bring her to the store and told her to re-use last years suit instead my kid could be one of those kids. Easy does it on the parents & the kids ok

PS, my DD has one of those girl board shorts suits from PAC SUN, modesty is harder to find than you might realize.

Yes it is harder. I have a 12 year old, she is built like a 15 year old. Unless she wears an old lady bathing suit or a swim team suit (sorry, isn't happening) a fairly modest suit is very hard to find. She can't wear little girl sizes any more, so I have just learned to buy what covers the most without looking to frumpy. I do remember what it is like to be a tween and teen and even my very strict father realized that a small 2 piece, as long as it covered wasn't all bad.

FWIW, my suit always had a hoop in the side and my father was the epitome of strict and old fashioned.

 

[Poohforyou]

How do you know the girl doesn't love her suit and is having a moment of being self conscious? I remember having days where I'd wear a t-shirt over my favorite suit because at just didn't like how I looked in it on that particular day. Also some kids sprout overnight and what may have fit a week ago suddenly doesn't. Sometimes you just have to make do with what you have until you can get to the store.

 

[mhsjax]

Come to think of it, all girls tug at their rear ends, I grew up with a pool and was on the swim team and no matter what, we always ran our fingers around the bottom of the suit to pull it down over our butts. I told my DD when she was much younger that soon it would be automatic and done with two fingers, now she is doing it that way.

 

[java]

Yeah, so mean of me to feel bad for the girls who were obviously uncomfortable in bathing suits that didn't fit properly.

I watched one girl walk past me about five times in the course of two hours and every time she walked by she had her arms crossed over her chest covering herself and I could see that the top of the suit was not adequate to cover her breasts. Even if her Mom didn't have time to buy her a properly fitting suit, someone could have suggested to her that she put a tank top or tshirt on over it so that she didn't have to be so self-conscious all day long.

As the Mom of a 14 year old, I understand that their bodies are changing quickly and it can be hard to keep up with the constant need for different clothes, but at a time when they are so self-conscious and feeling weird about their body, there's no reason for a Mom to not help them feel good about themselves, and I can't imagine that walking around the water park all day in an ill-fitting suit that doesn't cover can help them feel confident.

I guess I'm just a mean b***h for wanting my child and others to feel good and not so self conscious.

Perhaps the girl picked that suit. Perhaps it was the ONE she had to have. Perhaps she was just upset about something. And perhaps she didn't think there would be people watching and judging her. I tell my 13 year old to be herself, wave your freak flag and be proud of what makes you YOU. A bathing suit isn't going to make or break her self esteem.

 

[a1tinkfans]

On the topic of teens and clothes......
it happens that today I dropped my older teen off at HS to bring some papers. In walked a female teen wearing shorts, atleast thats what my son said they were. He said they all wear them.
To me, the "shorts" had barely coverage that "just made it past her butt cheeks" it looked like a bathing suit bottom, definitely not shorts. and IMHO way too short and tight regardless, I was really surprised and yet he was so not surprised, saying some are worse, what!!!
What are these young girls thinking? And why are they wearing these type outfits!!?? What are the parents thinking? (though I think most do not even notice what their kids are walking out of the house wearing)
I know, I know..with all the things that are worse, but still....please cover up your body, even just a little!

 

[MomofKatie]

Girls that age can be very stubborn and contrary. The girl you saw might have been wearing that suit to spite her mom who hates it. A friend (or a boy) might have commented that the top looked bad (or too sexy), and that is why she was crossing her arms in front of her. Or, her mom was saying, "I told you it was too small! I told you to put a Tshirt on over it!" and the girl was ignoring her.

Unless you were said girl or her mom, you don't know how she felt or what the situation was.

 

[scrapquitler]

Just curious, did you make this suggestion to the girl?

One suggestion I would make to moms who have daughters is to buy them a surf shirt and a pair of board shorts to go over their suit. I've done this for my DD the last few years and they've come in handy.

If it were a girl I knew, I would have made the suggestion (and probably even offered my DDs extra top), but NO, I'm not going to tell a stranger that she might want to cover up, just as I do not tell parents in the grocery store how to handle their screaming child. Too many unbalanced people out there.

I do like the idea of the board shorts. My DD usually chooses a tankini. They are cute and they cover things up without being frumpy or old lady-ish.

 

[Mama Who]

I wish the clothing companies wouldn't try to make clothes that make tweens and teens look like well you know. and bathing suits, they all are either string bikini, or have that hoop on each side of the bottom.

i have to get DD12 and 1 piece bathing suit for a youth group retreat, so I will be needing luck with that, the 1 pieces look like the whole back part is missing.

Try an athletic suit, like a speedo. If you can't find a good swim shop, contact your local pool or swim team and ask them for a suggestion. While they sometimes have low backs they tend to still be pretty modest.


Lots of modest 1 pieces:
http://www.swimoutlet.com/Womens_Fitness_Swimwear_s/270.htm

http://www.hapari.com/girls-one-piece-swimsuits/
(geared for juniors)


(I googled "modest swimwear" and got a ton of links. For those who was struggling to find something appropriate there's a lot out there.)

 

[mhsjax]

I guess my DD is a terrible thing according to what some say on here. Shorts, you can't find decent ones, so yep she wears the short ones. They cover her butt and she looks terrible in long shorts and she hates them.

As far as the bathing suits listed, my DD wouldn't wear them and I wouldn't either at her age, but if you have a daughter and she will wear them, more power to you. My DD would be laughed at, all her friends, with very conservative parents, wear this type of thing. They wear these shorts with flats, not hooker heels and they wear shirts that cover. AS far as I am concerned, it body parts are covered then they are find. To each his own, but I never liked one pieces as a child and I don't like them now. DD has a crop top cheer uniform and I don't want her tummy white while the rest of her is tan adn this is what would happen with a tankini, I personally don't get the whole covering up the stomach thing, I mean really the stomach is sexual. I never understood that about churches and requiring them to wear a one piece. I don't care what others wear, but I won't force mine to wear something that she doesn't like either.

 

[graygables]

2 words: Lands End. We have outfitted everyone in the family from LE and everyone has always been happy with their suits and covered appropriately.

In my OPINION, many times, mothers of little hoochie dressers are simply trying to relive their own youth through their daughters or are over-achieving trying to draw attention to their daughters to gain attention for themselves. I find it hard to believe that people are not aware of pedophile behavior and want to protect their children from that kind of exposure. It is shocking to me when I see girls/tweens/teens dressed like hookers walking around with their PARENTS while some creepy guy is taking photos with his iPhone. Pedophiles can be turned on more by sexy clothing on a child than one without clothing at all. Please take my word for it; I used to be married to one several years ago. Nothing wrong with modesty.

 

[Aisling]

. All those girls I saw walking around tugging at their rear ends, folding their arms over their chests or hiking up the top to cover their ****s obviously needed a different size or style suit for comfort and coverage. Why let her wear a suit that makes her feel uncomfortable or look ridiculous when there's a better choice somewhere else in the store??

The bottom tugging happens no mater what, I think. But I agree with you that I've seen many girls appearing uncomfortable with their tops not giving good coverage when they move around the pool. They look self-conscious. Perhaps a better-fitting top would make them feel more relaxed enough to enjoy themselves without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction.

 

[Aisling]

Maybe she was cold? Unless it's really hot and not windy, I'm always cold after I get out of the water. My dd is apparently the same way. As soon as she gets out of the pool, she's shivering and wrapping her arms around herself, despite wearing a properly fitting sturdy one piece swimsuit.

Some girls are probably cold, but I've seen what the OP is talking about. It's obvious the tops are too small or the wrong style for their bodies and you can see the self-consciousness of their faces. Now if we're talk about older girls (16, 17,18) and not tweens, they don't seem to mind the itty bitty tops at all.

 

[momto2inKC]

It is SO hard to find a well fitting swimsuit for that age range. My 12 yr old daughter ended up ordering a swimdress online. She is not comfortable in a 2 piece (thank goodness!) and all the 1 piece suits we have found have no back or sides Not very flattering or comfortable when you're a girl thats starting to get her curves. The swimdress is cute and i'm so glad she found something she feels good in.

 

[hereyago]

I Shorts, you can't find decent ones, so yep she wears the short ones.
.

and shorts are another thing: has anyone noticed they may be different sizes in waist, but I swear it looks like they are about the same length or lack there of.
so as you mentioned, it's either short or long, no real option for in between. so it's a difficult to find ones for school use that are long enough for the end of the finger tip test, but no long enough to where they look like capris or pants.


Thanks to the posters about the Land' s end and the athletic swim suits ideas.

Graygables: i'm very sorry. i can't imagine.

 

[graygables]

and shorts are another thing: has anyone noticed they may be different sizes in waist, but I swear it looks like they are about the same length or lack there of.
so as you mentioned, it's either short or long, no real option for in between. so it's a difficult to find ones for school use that are long enough for the end of the finger tip test, but no long enough to where they look like capris or pants.


Thanks to the posters about the Land' s end and the athletic swim suits ideas.

Graygables: i'm very sorry. i can't imagine.

Thank you, I could write a book.

as for shorts, we found some great ones at Target this year and stocked up. They were in several colors and madras plaids with a fingertip length. When we got them, they were folded on a gondola in the ladies' section with some very cute tank tops (gathered at the neck/arms).

If nothing else, you can have them hemmed, usually for around $5 or you can teach your daughter to hem them herself, giving her a valuable life lesson she can use for years to come when pants are a wee bit too long for those cute flats.

 

[goofy!]

On the topic of teens and clothes......
it happens that today I dropped my older teen off at HS to bring some papers. In walked a female teen wearing shorts, atleast thats what my son said they were. He said they all wear them.
To me, the "shorts" had barely coverage that "just made it past her butt cheeks" it looked like a bathing suit bottom, definitely not shorts. and IMHO way too short and tight regardless, I was really surprised and yet he was so not surprised, saying some are worse, what!!!
What are these young girls thinking? And why are they wearing these type outfits!!?? What are the parents thinking? (though I think most do not even notice what their kids are walking out of the house wearing)
I know, I know..with all the things that are worse, but still....please cover up your body, even just a little!

I wore short shorts (hot pants, daisy dukes) 35+ years ago as a teen. Paired it with a midriff peasant blouse. Or a midriff halter top. Or perhaps a tube top. Lots of skin showing in the 70's.

Not much has changed in 40 years with teens.

 

[abdmom]

My dd is 12. I have searched high and low for shorts that are not indecent. I've been everywhere, even crossing an international border to go to Target this past weekend. Target had one pair of shorts in her size that were not shorties.

Sure, Lands End has some decent shorts, but they're $30 people! I am not buying $30 shorts for someone who will get maybe 10 wearings out of them.

So, if you find some shorts that are fingertip length or longer in the GTA, let me know! She takes a size 14 or women's 2. Thanks.