Turning 17 - do I let her?

[Ellen aka Snow White]

My dd is turning 17 tomorrow and when asked what she wants for her birthday all she will tell us is she wants her belly button pierced!! I haven't told her no, but I haven't said yes either. Am I being an irresponsible parent if I take her to have it done??? I know there are worse things she could want to do! But I just really don't understand wanting this done - which I don't even have my ears pierced!! lol Is this really worth having stress over???

Do I let her or should I make her wait until she is of age to do it without my consent???

Thanks!
Ellen


PS - Victoria if you are reading this you better not tell!!!

 

[imabrat]

Let her do it. It's just a piercing, it'll close up eventually when she doesn't want it anymore.

 

[sunnyday123]

Let her do it. More than likely, she would find a way to do it anyway. Pick your battles!

And when the darn thing gets caught on the button hole of her jeans and almost rips it through the hole, she'll change her mind. Trust me.


Does she know how bad it will hurt? They told me in the Tattoo Parlor I had it done in they had never heard anyone cuss like that.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I figure if she wants to have it THAT bad, you should take her and learn all about the care of having one along with her.

Then, make sure you are going to a clean place and then really embarrass her there by having her mommy there at the same time.

Then, when she is done, tell her you are getting one, too. Now that's a precious moment to capture on film.

Just so you know, my sister went out and got one at the age of 37. She did something wrong and it turned black. Gross.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I would let her! Things could be worse, you have to pick your battles.

 

[CathrynRose]

Let her do it. It's just a piercing, it'll close up eventually when she doesn't want it anymore.

I'm with brat. My son wanted an industrial bar when he was about 16 1/2 - and then wanted an eyebrow piercing when he was 17 1/2. I signed both times.

I have a kid that comes home on time, doesnt drink, smoke or so drugs. I figure if he wants to self mutilate, I'd prefer he does it 'professionally'.

Besides.... there's not many times in a woman's life she could pull off a belly button ring. LOL! Now is about the only time.

FTR - No tattoo's. I wouldnt ever sign for those, even though I have them myself. That would have to be done when he's legal. Much more permanent.

 

[BigMama]

I would let her do it!! She can always let it close up when the novelty wears off.

 

[JanaNs]

My daughter asked me at 14 if she could get it done and I told her no. I said maybe next year thinking that by the time a year went by she wouldn't still want it. Guess what? She did. So I took her to get it and signed the consent. She looked after it meticulously. I find that belly button peircings are just like earrings to the girls now. Just ornamentation. I would absolutely never let her get a facial piercing done but this won't be detected at all once she decides to let it grow over. I don't know if I did the right thing but like the PP said you pick your battles.

 

[clgwli]

I would let her do it. Just make sure you take her to a very reputable piercer. I would find someone who is a member of APP and go from there.

I had mine done as an adult and it didn't hurt, didn't get infected and didn't get caught on anything badly. I even made it through two pregnancies with it in the whole time.

I just suggest doing a banana barbel instead of a ring. They are less likely to get caught on anything and lay flat against the skin at all times.

If done nicely you can keep them for a long time and they will still look great.

 

[Castlebound]

I would let her do it. If there comes a time that she doesn't like it any more she can take it out.

I have promised my DH that when/if I ever get a flat toned belly I would get one. I think I'm pretty safe to say I won't be getting one anytime soon, but he gets to dream.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

She's not asking for somehting that will be permanent (they will close over if left). She's not asking for something that will show when she's wearing any type of normal clothes. She's not asking for something particularly expensive. And if you say yes, she will think you are the coolest mother in the world.

It's your decision, of course, but of the 'rebellious teenager' stuff your daughter could do, this seems to be very low on the scale.

 

[Teacher03]

My daughter has one with my permission. What I didn't give permission for was her nose piercing! I hate it, but it's better than a tattoo!

 

[NMAmy]

DD's had one since she was 15. It was kind of funny, actually. When dd was 14, her stepmother was talking it up and wanted her to get it done while she was staying with them and said she'd help care for it, etc, since it skeeves me out.

My first response was no way, no how. After talking it over with DH, he made me realize that it wasn't a big deal and I wouldn't even have to see it. When I called dd and gave her my okay, I got a call almost immediately from her dad. He was extremely distraught. Seemed he'd been counting on me to be the bad guy in this particular situation. I pointed out that his wife was the one who was encouraging it--I'd merely given my permission after thinking it over. He made her wait another year.

My advice--it's reversible and hence, not a big deal in my book. I made dd wait until she was 18 before getting a tattoo and she had to pay for it herself. That creeps me out, as well, but I don't have to see it.

 

[minkydog]

Piercing at 17? Really not a big deal. Go with her so you can take a lot of pictures i mean, if you can't find a way to embarrass your kid you're not doing it right.

The rule in my house is "no permanent changes" before the age of 18. Piercings are okay, tattoos are not. Although i think my DS22 is never going to let me forget that we wouldn't let him get his ears pierced when he was 15 (he fainted every time he pulled a tooth! ) I did allow DD16 to get her ears pierced when she turned 13--that's a right of passage in our family--and I allowed her to get a second piercing a year later. She takes meticulous care of her piercings. DS22 now has 2 lip rings which look totally ridiculous and makes all but unemployable, but you know? it's his body and his choice. He has the unalienable right to be stoopid.

 

[cruisnfamily]

My dd is turning 17 tomorrow and when asked what she wants for her birthday all she will tell us is she wants her belly button pierced!! I haven't told her no, but I haven't said yes either. Am I being an irresponsible parent if I take her to have it done??? I know there are worse things she could want to do! But I just really don't understand wanting this done - which I don't even have my ears pierced!! lol Is this really worth having stress over???

Do I let her or should I make her wait until she is of age to do it without my consent???

Thanks!
Ellen


PS - Victoria if you are reading this you better not tell!!!

I'm going to answer the parts I've bolded. You are NOT an irresponsible parent if you take her and let her get it done. But it boils down to whether you are ok with the idea or not. If you are ok with, by all means do it and don't give it another thought. If however you are not ok with it, I would not let yourself get "talked into it" or rationalize it away with all the "it's not permanent" or "it's like getting your ears pierced" or any other line of thought.

Personally, my daughter(16)really, really wants to have this done. I personally am against it so I'm not letting her do it. No piercings(other than ears) or tattoos until you are a self supporting adult. That's my rule.
That doesn't mean it should be your rule. If you're good with it, go for it, nobody is going to think less of you or anything. As you can see, the DIS is obviously "pro" belly button piercings.

 

[CowboyCO]

You should let her -- all the 18 year-old boys will think it's really hot!

 

[cruisnfamily]

You should let her -- all the 18 year-old boys will think it's really hot!

This falls into the category of "reasons to not let DD16 pierce her belly button" for me. I personally don't want to draw anybody's eyes to her body anymore than they already are.

 

[redlight]

Yes, let her with the provision that she knows what's involved in taking care of the piercing.

 

[Kimberly]

Well, at least it's better than a tattoo...

 

[ryanshana]

I would let her do it.

Or you could be like my mom, who didn't let me at 17 and I just got it done when I was 18 and I didn't go to a good place cause I couldn't afford it and it got infected (it did heal fine in the end, but it looked ugly and hurt for a while)

But seriously I would let her do it. And that way you can pick a nice, clean place to get it done and follow up w/ her to make sure she is cleaning it well enough!